Steve Nash waves goodbye to Bruce Bowen's stifling defense

Thanks to my Clark Kent job, this week sucks. Just so you know. Let's move on.

Worst of the Night in Pictures:

Varejao had to break out his harmonica to play the "We Got Beat By Rasheed Wallace" Blues

They did a good job photoshopping out the jizz dribbling down Stern's pants

All The Games:
Hawks at Magic - TNT, 8:00pm
Series tied 0-0

After taking out the broom and sweeping the Bobcats, the Magic have had eight days to rest, practice, play Xbox, and all that jazz. The Hawks? ...Not so much. It took them seven games to beat the undermanned, inconsistent Deer Bucks. And who does Atlanta have that can contain Pumaman Dwight Howard when he's on the floor? I look forward to seeing Horford and Zaza trying their best to mess with Howard and force him into taking bad fouls. But that's pretty much the only thing about this series I'm looking forward to seeing. (When this series goes seven games, you can thank me for the epic stat curse. Or when the Hawks get swept, you can say I was right all along. Woohoo! Win/win!)

Jazz at Lakers - TNT, 10:30pm
Lakers lead series 1-0

While I really want to see the Mormon Musicians take down the Lakers, it's really hard to see it happening. Why, you ask? (Even if you aren't asking it, just humor me.) Take a gander at this quote from Null-Star Kyrylo Fesenko, filling in for an injured Mehmet Okur: "In the first half, I was kind of thinking, 'Wow, I'm playing here against the Lakers. I have a long way to go. I'm not happy with my game. I need to play tougher. I got a little soft in the last couple of games." This is the guy you have patroling the paint against the likes of Pau Gasol and Andrew Bynum? He's too busy ogling cheerleaders and the Kiss Cam.

Also, Basketbawful reader snorthound submitted this comparison:



Blogger AnacondaHL said...
Orlando will drop one, but this series is done in 5.

The Fat of Fesenko will win tonight's game! Book it!

Anonymous Damuel Salambert said...

Blogger Dylan said...
I think it will go at least five, but more likely six. There's less room to give than with Charlotte. And Dwight has shown that he can't stay on the floor, which is the only reason why Atlanta can't stop them. Atlanta is built to play fast, whereas Orlando is not.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
It seems that Gregg Popovich was stunned by Nash's early offensive abilities...

"Steve got them off to a great start. He just ran it down our throat."

That was the best quote of game one. How could you miss that?


Blogger Basketbawful said...
Kevin McHale just called Matt Barnes "Marvin Barnes," as in Bad News Barnes. I love it.

Dwight has shown that he can't stay on the floor...

In the first half, 21 minutes, 14 points, 9 boards and 5 blocks, Orlando by 20 despite a 2-for-10 wimp out by Vag Carter.

That was the best quote of game one. How could you miss that?

I saw it and then forgot. My total bad.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

have u guys seen this before? thought this is pretty relevant to current events

Blogger Caleb Smith said...
Orlando putting an epic beatdown on ATL right now.

Blogger Dooj said...
If the higher seeded teams advance (like they're supposed to) Nelson won't face a good point guard for the rest of the playoffs...

Blogger Dan B. said...
I was too busy watching the Penguins eek out a win over the Canadiens (freaking amazing game, I love playoff hockey so much), so I didn't even bother tuning into the Hawks/Magic game until the 4th quarter. Yeah... This game is getting just a little out of hand. I expected Orlando to win. I didn't expect them to completely, totally demoralize and embarrass Atlanta.

Blogger Dooj said...
I just saw Reddick on the free throw line. The infographic told me that his "team role" was "Pure Shooter". He bricked both free throws.

Blogger AnacondaHL said...
This is one of those Internet phrases that has been beaten to a dead pulpy horse, but it's too applicable for this game as the Hawks are literally Epic Fail right now, down 91-48 in the 4th

Anonymous kazam92 said...
112-66 UNTIl a Mario West cameo and throwdown!

Blogger Fishy said...
Why do reporters ask questions along the lines of, "Did you think you would lose by 43 tonight?"

Believe that was Cheryl Miller interviewing Al Horfod.

Do they really think the people watching at home are thinking, "Hmm... I wonder if it was part of the Hawks game plan to lose by 43. Interesting approach."

I really wish players would stop responding as if these are intelligent questions.

Anonymous Stockton said...
WON nomination:

Boozer... stuffed... 6 times!!!!! I HOPE NY or Miami give him the max money he deserves!!!

Anonymous Stockton said...
You should start a game in offseason: the dumb GM quiz. You list some "marquee" FAs, and people have to guess which team will sign them, and how much will they pay. The payment should be refered from "max money", "too much money", to "pennies".
Think about it,,,

LeBron really needed the sleeve on his injured elbow when he got the MVP award?