scrooge mcduck

Thursday nights are for the twin TNT games -- a chance for lacktioneers to shirk away from the bright spotlight...only they end up illuminated by the reality of a national television audience!

Magic-Cavs: With the Crabs getting baked by an Orlando offensive onslaught, Mike Brown let Jawad Williams mine the sea floor for gold, and Williams rewarded his coach by crawling his way to a 1.35 trillion. Guess that justifies his most recent 10-day contract...

And yes, Tarence Kinsey dunked. Again. (Over Dwight Howard no less!!) Any more of this and he might be playing his way off of the All-Lacktion roster!

Spurs-Suns: Jared Dudley's 5.1 trillion no doubt shone more brightly than his Phoenix teammates did, as the Spurs were able to pull away late.

About the author: Chris is a Sacramento resident and Bay Area native who is surrounded by all forms of bawful, from The Oracle to Arco Arena (or whatever barn the Maloofs can milk the most profit from in the near future). After all, when you live in a town in which an ex-trillionare champion (John Salmons) is the home team's starter, is there much to be expected on the positive front? No. So Chris has made it his goal to become the Bill James or Hubie Brown of lacktivity, seeing how abundant it has become in Northern California. Outside of his life as a lacktion statistician, he follows a random collection of other sports (auto racing, ice hockey, snooker, boxing)...

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Anonymous Anonymous said...
Hey, chris, how are we lookin' on the All-Lacktion ballot? Do you think we're going to have two distinct East/West squads?

Have you been keeping track of people's season-long lacktion stats?

I'm curious enough to go through all your posts (and whatever lacktion I can scrounge from that other guy who did it before you... what's his name? Basketbawful?) to compile data; but, I don't want to waste my time if you're already working on it.

I admit, I was intrigued by the idea of pitting All-Lacktion rosters against each other in a video game.

You just gotta expect something like my 2001 high school rec league championship (8-6 at halftime... yeah, I know... I contributed by airballing a three, a jumper and a free throw, plus getting a technical for slapping the backboard hard enough that the other kid's fastbreak layup actually bounced out; and, the whole gym heard me say, "Oh, shit!" when that free-throw left my hands; plus, we won the game by two because their last-second inbound pass hit the gym ceiling.)

wow... now that I've recounted that game, I realize the path through which I found true bawfulness. I'd better go rewatch the video of that game. I imagine it's hilarious, or painful - probably, both.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
gosh. all this thinking about thinking got me thinking; and...


according to, Greg Oden's best "Game Score" thus far(24.3) was on the last game he played for my fantasy team - the "dropper's remorse" game against the Bucks.

Before that day, he was the model of inconsistency: for example, posting a 10.2 GS against Enver (12/22), then a -2.1 GS the next day, also against Enver.

He averaged about a 6.4 GS over those 34 games on my fantasy team.

Since that day, his worst GS has been 8.4; and, he's averaging a GS of 14.65. Now, I know, it's only been 4 games; and, they were against the Crabs, Generals, TAWWTTW, and the What About Bobs; but, it's a hell of an improvement.

Despite his 8.4 against the Crabs, the 4 games AFTER his Fantasy Contract Day Phenomenon Game has been his best stretch all season. The closest he came was in November against Nola, Minne, Oakland and Chicago, when he averaged a 14.15 GS over four games.

That is all for now.

Blogger Unknown said...

O'Neal said he looks back fondly on his run with the Lakers.

"It's always all about good thoughts," O'Neal said. "Everything that happened there happened for a reason. And I'm going to tell you why: It's all about winning. We won three out of four. Can't beat that, so nothing else matters."

Apparently The Big Mathematician is a tad off...

Stuart Scott: Shaq-daddy, whats this I hear about you saying Al Queda's 9-11 attack was a failure?

Shaq: Stuart. I, The Big Abacus know that they collapsed 2 out of 2 towers and we all know you cant beat 1 out of 2.

Stuart Scott: Damn dawg, your arithmetic is banging as always.

Blogger Basketbawful said...
flohtingPoint -- Dude! Haven't seen you 'round these parts in a while!

If I had to guess, I would assume Shaq means three out of their four trips to the Finals while he was there. But with The Big Abacus, you never know.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
um... did you guys know that's fantasy injury report lists Chris Webber as having been day-to-day (knee) for the Warriors since 03/25/08?


That's not right, is it? Can he still suit up? Please?

Blogger chris said...
tony.bluntana - 8-6?! Any more and that would resemble some lower-ranked SEC footbqall games. Ouch. Get that video up on YT for comedy purposes!

My best friend Dan B. (who posts here) scored himself NBA 2K9 last week so that could be our avenue for the all-lacktion game.

Part of me wants it to come down to a ballot-stuffing battle here, while part of me thinks some of the following selections are self-evident, in no particular order (but an idea of my top 10 choices, leaguewide) -

Tarence Kinsey
Jake Voskuhl
Mario West
Greg Buckner
Cheikh Samb (he's started to anti-play his way onto it)
Darnell Jackson (hey, now the Crabs can say they got two folks on the team11!11!)
Acie Law (IMO, a bit of a borderline pick)
Sun Yue (for the ballot stuffers!)
Yakhouba Diawara
Patrick O'Bryant (another borderline pick)

FloatingPoint - I think it's easier for Shaq to feel good about the Lakers tenure when he can point out to Kobe who's won more titles (albeit, a mere one) since the trade. Of course, after all this magnamimity, who knows, another instance of freestylin' at a nightclub could change it back again...

OT: Is it me, or is Joe Torre trying to go the Phil Jackson route in the hopes that a Tell-All Book will enhance his reputation somehow?

Anonymous Anonymous said...
Yeah, I suppose any player who's a word of the day should be on the team by default.

I have 2k9; and, it has a "streetball" game mode. I think it would be fun to pit the top 10 (bottom 10?) against each other on the streets.

Then, a full-on allstar game with subs for each team and a crowd to electronically boo the lacktion (if only we were so lucky). That way, those who are words of the day, but not top 10 lacktioneers, can still prove their worth[lessness].

You can even do a dunk contest and three point contest.

P.S. my captcha is "toldists." Is that what we are - just a bunch of toldists?

Blogger The Dude Abides said...
Well, Basketbawful is probably celebrating the Lakers-Grizzlies game right now. Just want to let you know that a lot of your readers aren't.

Blogger chris said...
You are a toldist about Oden's post-fantasy prospects, just as Bawful was a "toldist" about Duhon NOT being the next Steve Nash!

It seems like the WOTD lacktioneers (Mario West, Jake Voskuhl) are going to be easy top 10, probably top-5 picks for the squads of suck.

BTW, just saw on FSN Final Score that Bynum got hurt AFTER he was named player of the week, once again against the Grizzlies. Ouch! So if Bawful pronounces him as "injury-prone" vis a vis Grant Hill, will that lead to an ironman streak? After all, when Bynum was essentially declared "overhyped," he went on his current hot streak.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
i REALLY REALLY don't wanna be that guy but footbawful has not been updated. Nothing on tomorrow?

Anonymous Anonymous said...
Check out Saturday night's Yahoo recap of Houston and Golden State.

GS top performer:
Ronny Turiaf 4/10/4 (shot 2 of 8)

That was their top performer?!

Blogger Jundi said...
got a photo for ya .. the look on hilton armstrong's face is almost like he's saying oh shit i just got dunked on by a white guy didnt i