Math dummies

Basketbawful reader AK Dave sent me the following verbal discharge from Agent Zero's latest blog entry regarding his recent trip to Berlin:

"One night we went to dinner at a nice restaurant and we didn't have cash and it ended up being a cash-only place. (I've never heard of that before.) So we only had a credit card and we ate probably 90 euros worth of food -- which is probably $140 American since Bush done messed up the economy -- and they gave us the meal for free. It's kind of funny, Bush. We can't even go to Europe and be big ballers any more. They come to the U.S. and feel like kings now. Gas out there for us is nine dollars a gallon, I did the math and everything."
Wow. He did the math and everything. Beware, people of Earth. Gilbert could very well end up killing us all with his matchless arithmetical powers. At this rate, I bet it would only take him a few hours of intense and focused concentration to add fractions, or maybe complete a multiplication table.

I started to feel kind of bad for him, being unable to go to Europe and be a "big baller" and everything, until I did a little math of my own. His new $111 million contract -- based on the current exchange rate -- is worth almost 70 million Euros. If you can't be a big baller for that kind of coin, what the hell are you buying over there? Entire countries of little people who can power your home by running on hamster wheels? I'm half expecting to hear that Gilbert is the new owner of Estonia (which, according to Wikipedia, has large reserves of rock).

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Anonymous Anonymous said...
Yeh, Bush done mested up our economies, not gas companizzles or overseas oil barons. The entire country is screwing up out economy.

The only thing that can survive: The love of the game.

Blogger Unknown said...
Message from Europe : please elect better president, preferably a democrat.

Blogger 80's NBA said...
Cubee said...
Message from Europe : please elect better president, preferably a democrat.

Message to Europeans: grow some balls.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
How about his economics skillz? "LOL Bush screwd up the 'conomy." Breathtaking analysis there, from a person who's never seen a commercial establishment that doesn't accept credit cards.

Oh, and message to Europe: we'll fop up our presidency just the way you like it when you get Italians to stop re-electing Berlusconi.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
You know have a successful blog when it turns political in the comments section. I expect the Ron Paul supporters to come out of the woodwork soon.


Larry Brown really got a technical foul in a summer league game?

Anonymous Anonymous said...
"Yeh, Bush done mested up our economies, not gas companizzles or overseas oil barons. "

(shakes head in disgust)

yeah, as if those "oil barons and gas companies" have nothing to do with bush and his buddies. keep dreaming ...

@80's nba
it's not europeans that voted a puppet for president (as if he could really protect the us) out of fear that the terrorists will bomb some corn fields in indiana or something.

or if by "grow some balls" you invite us to invade the US, thx, but no thx. it would be cheaper to buy it piece by piece.

well, we're embarrassed by those italians too. other than the monuments, there is no connection between them and the romans. the romans would be ashamed to know who's inhabiting their former land.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
America, America we blah blah blah blah blaaaaaah. America, America, none of us caaaaan agreeeee! On politics on politics, we all arrrrguuuuueeeee!

When will people learn that "crotchetty" old men shouldnt be around the summer league.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
I like bush.

Blogger Alex said...
Sun Devil: You mean you know a blog gets SHITTY when it devolves into political name-calling.

Republican, Democrat, Bush, McCain, Obama, European, they all fucking suck. Stick to basketball, please.