I'm busy writing some Eastern Conference playoff previews for Deadspin, but I promise that Kyle Korver's "gay elf defense" and Kwame Brown's mind-boggling 12 trillion [!!] will get full coverage in a couple hours.

Note: Okay. Yahoo! has Kwame down for the 12 trillion, ESPN has him down for a DNP-CD, and NBA.com has him down with a bunch of slashes. I'll get to the bottom of this when I write the post...

Kyle Korver

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Blogger Andrew CHang said...
Kwame? A 12 trillion? ESPN's box score says he recorded a DNP-CD. Which granted, is much easier to get, but no less pathetic.

I checked out the score last night and I saw that the rebounding leader for the Griz was "Brown 13" and I thought, "I guess Kwame played a little bit tonight, the Griz don't have anything to play for anyway, why not?" Then I looked to see that it was Andre Brown with a solid 19/13. And Kwame with his DNP-CD.

It was worth a laugh.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
How did Korver get caught like this again. DISGUSTING!! he needs to man up, cowering from a jumpshot?

Anonymous Anonymous said...
At first I was like "This can't be .... this REALLY can't be". Then I remembered it was Kwame Brown you were talking about, but even for him this was an absolutely amazing accomplishment.

So I had to check who (if anyone) came even close to this, so I can put Kwame's success in its historic perspective. So here they are, the Kwame wannabes:

* everyone's favorite stiff, Jason Collins, had 2PF in 10 minutes on 2008-01-22

* Chris Richard (who ???) had 2PF in 17 minutes on 2007-12-22. I assume that's the reason he is never to be heard of again. apparently he was a starter for minnesota at the time. mchale's ineptitude as a GM is highly underrated. and garnett is like the anti-vince carter (but we already knew that) for not making a trade demand as soon as he saw that boxscore.

* Alexander Johnson - 1PF in 12 min on 2007-03-30

* Sasha Vujacic - 1PF in 10 min on 2007-01-28

* Mark Madsen - 2PF in 10 min on 2007-01-26

* Chris Duhon - 10 trillion on 2007-01-20

* Mickael Gelabale - 1PF in 13 min on 2006-12-31

* Sasha Pavlovic - 10 trillion on 2006-03-19

* Rasual Butler - 2PF in 10 min on 2004-03-02

* Hubert Davis - 2PF in 11 min on 2003-03-01

* Michael Curry - 1PF in 16 min on 2003-02-19

* LaPhonso Ellis - 1PF in 11 min on 2003-02-14

* Carlos Arroyo - 12 trillion on 2002-04-02

* Walter McCarty - 11 trillion on 2002-02-05

there are a few (well, more than a few) others that managed to avoid the 10+ trillion by grabbing a rebound, making a steal or blocking a shot. you can see the entire list here:


Anonymous Anonymous said...
I checked it out somehow the total minutes for NBA.com is 240 and total for yahoo is 252 LOL so I'm going to believe NBA.com

Anonymous Anonymous said...
SI.com and foxsports.com have Kwame as DNP-CD.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
You have to make sure to mention Corey Brewer in the worst of the night just for the simple fact of his bricking a dunk then clanking the layup. Just about sums up their season.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
Don't forget, last night featured the NBA's version of the Barry Hall sucker punch. Only it involved Okur on Oberto, and thus impossible to tell if Okur hit him hard and/or Oberto flopped it, making the whole scene 100 times less cool/manly than the rugby version. BAwful.

Can't find it on YouTube though =(

Anonymous Anonymous said...
so if kwame really was a DNP-CD, then this means the top trillionaires in the NBA remain:

1. Carlos Arroyo with 12 tril

2. Walter McCarty with 11

3. Chris Duhon & Sasha Pavlovic with 10

in case of duhon, he'd like to thank skiles and boylan who somehow managed to find a way to play him 26.5, 29, 24.5 and 22.5 minutes per game. the sounds you're hearing are bulls fans who are projectile vomiting.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
2 words. Damon Jones

Anonymous Anonymous said...
So Kwame did only (and all of) those things that don't show up in the boxscore. Chemistry! Leadership! Moxie! Hustle!

I remember Jerome James, when he was with the Sonics, explaining why his rebound numbers were so low: "I was boxing out so other guys could get the boards."

Anonymous Anonymous said...
Oh my Jazz....why must you always let me down:(

Blogger Andrei said...
I just heard some knob hole on 1st and 10 on ESPN use the name "the Enver Nuggets" while arguing with Skip Bayless.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
Dear blog owner,

Basketbawful was your own world. You are just one of the many writers in Deadspin. But you are getting a bigger market there.

Look at all these people whore are raising tons of trillions towards you.

Blogger Elliot Cole said...
So glad you got the Korver pic up there.

Blogger DDC said...
Nothing will outdo Damon Jones getting a 12 trillion in the Finals last year. The Finals!!!! Foul, pass, do something. Talk about being a non-impact player.

Blogger Basketbawful said...
anonymous 1 -- Is he even cowering? He seems to like it...

caseta -- Damn fine detective work. I'll have to use that somehow.

anonymous 2 -- Your wish is my command. Corey was included, with YouTube evidence of his incompetence.

anonymous 3 -- Damn! I couldn't find the Okur clip either.

anonymous 4 -- You're absolutely right. Damon Jones PWNS the trillion record, with 12 trillion...in the NBA Finals no less!

anonymous 5 -- I hear you, man. I've been a suffering Jazz fan since the late 80s...

andrei -- I'm guessing they didn't creditd me, did they?

karolis -- Don't worry. I'm not going to abandon Basketbawful. This site is my baby and you are all my peeps.

elliot cole -- Me too!

desten -- I couldn't have said it better myself.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
Dear Kyle Korver:

You give homosexual elfs a bad name by doing the fruity hobbit dance when someone gets all up in your Kool-Aide. So please, grow a set, or just finish the sex change operation so Kylie Korver can be the MVP of the WNBA.

Rainbow Bright.