Hong Kong

On Friday...

Kevin Martin: Trading Mike Bibby to the Atlanta Hawks was supposed to be a sign that the Maloof brothers are ready to build their King-dom around Kevin Martin. But based on Martin’s 1-for-8, 1-rebound, 2-assist night against the Charlotte Bobcats, they might want to investigate some alternative architectural designs.

DeSagana Diop: When the Jason Kidd trade (finally) went down, a lot of people said – screamed, even - that the Mavs were crazy to include Diop in the deal. Uh, the dude's averaging 2.9 PPG and 5 RPG. I wouldn’t exactly call that "irreplaceable." And sure enough, he was very replaceable against the Pacers: zero points (0-for-1) and 5 rebounds.

David Harrison: Science has yet to unlock the amazing power of invisibility. Maybe Science should ask Harrison, who made his hulking seven-foot, 300-pound body disappear by scoring a four trillion against the Nets.

Toronto Raptors: Dino fans want people to take their team more seriously, but it's hard to do that when they cough up a season-high in points to Jamal Crawford (43) and lose to the Knicks.

Anthony Parker: He had some...interesting things to say after his team lost in New York: "I don't think you can look at their record and say, 'Oh, it’s a bad team.' I think they’'e shown they can go into D.C. and get a win. They are capable of going into Philly and getting beaten pretty badly. They've got a lot of talent and a lot of options. I think they played well tonight." I don't know about you, but I can look at a 17-win team and say TThat's a bad team." I can even say, "They're a very bad team." In fact, I can say "They're a crap-coated poopsicle" and not feel as though I've overstated things.

The Washington Wizards's defense: Since Ben Wallace, Wally Szczerbiak, Joe Smith, and Delonte West couldn't play yet for Cleveland, the Cavs had to start Eric Snow and sign a couple D-Leaguers (Billy Thomas and Kaniel Dickens) to 10-day contracts just to meet the league-required eight-man minimum. And they still beat the Wizards, mostly because the Washington defense was about as effective as a Wal-mart door greeter. Not only did they fail to get a hand anywhere in the vicinity of Damon Jones' face – he was 10-for-16, 7-for-11 from Three Land - they gave up a one-point lead with 7.8 seconds left because they improbably refused to double-team LeBron James, who bullied his way to the hoop, drew the foul, and then hit the game-winning freethrows. Mind you, the Cavaliers had both Snow and Thomas on the floor for that final possession. Wouldn't you rather double or even triple-team LeBron and make one of those guys beat you? Apparently Eddie Jordan wouldn't.

Michael Ruffin: Did you know that Ruffin is still in the league and playing for the Bucks? I couldn't believe it, either. It was like finding out my dad didn't really die in that car accident when I was five, and that he's actually Joan Rivers. Anyway, Ruffin got some PT against the Pistons, but still played like he wasn’t there...with a four trillion.

The Denver Nuggets defense: The Bulls, short-handed and in the midst of a season of suck, rang up 135 points on 57 percent shooting against the Nuggets. That's it. I'm once again taking the "D" out of the Enver Nuggets until further notice.

Golden State Warriors: A home-court loss to the Atlanta Hawks. Oh, for shame, Golden State, for shame. That's like letting the captain of the high school math team come into your house and beat you up for your lunch money.

Portland Trail Blazers: They need to check the formula for their magic sauce, because the flavor's getting a little stale. And that loss to the SuperSonics was rough. Jarrett Jack shot 2-for-9, Steve Blake was 1-for-10, and the Blazers hit only 37 percent as a team.

Utah Jazz: There's no better cure for positive feelings and a good run of wins than losing to the Clippers. The Jazz got bullied by Al Thornton (27 points) and couldn't draw iron from downtown (0-for-13).

Ray Allen and Paul Pierce: It was the Big Three minus Two against the Suns, as Ray Ray and The Truth hit only 5-for-25 from the field and combined for 7 turnovers. Hello, Boston...welcome to the West.

Then on Saturday...

Ryan Hollins: This toothless Bobcat scored a two trillion against the Wizards.

DeSagana Diop: He had his second scoreless game in as many night against the Pacers. He also had 1 rebound, 1 turnover, and 1 personal foul. Yup, they're really missing this guy in Dallas...

Maurice Ager: Speaking of missing people in Dallas, this kid only got 27 seconds against the Pacers. Man, if he can't get time against Indiana, when will he get time?

The Miami Heat: God, these guys are a freaking embarrassment. I

Bonzi Wells: Mr. Instant Offense made his New Orleans debut and poured in 2 points on 1-for-7 shooting. In point of fact, he had more turnovers (3) than points. Good pickup, Hornets.

The Denver Nuggets: As if getting bitchslapped in Chicago wasn't bad enough, the Nuggets limped into Milwaukee and received another smackdown from a not-even-close-to-.500 team. Hey, don't they have two All-Stars and the reigning Defensive Player of the Year? Aren't Western teams supposed to be so much better than Eastern teams? What gives?

Jeremy Richardson: This little-used roleplayer for the Hawks spread his wings and soared into suck by scoring a five trillion against the Jazz.

And on the seventh day, they still sucked...

The Phoenix Suns: If you imagined a worst-case scenario when the Suns traded for Shaq, Sunday was it. It was, without question, the ugliest basketball that's been played in Phoenix since before Stephon Marbury was traded to the Knicks. I've seen better chemistry and teamwork on bad pickup teams. Said coach Mike D'Antoni: "Maybe we used all the adrenaline left these last two games. Emotionally, we've been on a high for the last three days and you wake up on Sunday at noon and we're not quite ready to play." Oooookay. Well, let's hope the Suns don't wake up on Sunday at noon again for the rest of the season. I don't think my eyes could take it.

Memphis Grizzlies: They started Kwame Brown. Need I say more?

Darko Milicic: He lost his starting job to Kwame Brown. Need I say more?

Kwame Brown: He was Kwame Brown (1 point, 0-for-3 shooting, 3 rebounds, 2 turnovers in 20 minutes). Need I say more?

Delonte West: Everything I read said that Cleveland picked him up for his shootin' skillz. I, however, was not aware that he had any. And he certainly didn't show them off against the Grizzlies (2-for-12, 1-for-5 from beyond the arc).

Jameer Nelson: Call me old-fashioned, but I don't like it when my starting point guard shoots 1-for-11. That 1-fer is such a sad, lonely number.

Zach Randolph: Z-Bo shot 2-for-13 against the Raptors. Ugly. Stat Update: Zach has only 9 blocked shots in 52 games. His six-foot, two-inch teammate Fred Jones has 11 in 45 games.

Eddy Curry: He had a so-so offensive game - 12 points on 4-for-11 shooting - but he was absolutely lit up by Andrea Bargnani (25 points, 7 rebounds, and a career-high 5 three-pointers). What are the odds that Eddy will play defense this season? What about this decade?

Ben Gordon: His 5-point, 2-for-11 game probably wouldn't qualify for Worst of the Weekend if he hadn't declared himself to be the Bulls "best player" prior to the season. Or, for that matter, if his lackluster play hadn't made Larry Hughes look so good by comparison.

Kobe Bryant: The Black Mamba just can't help himself sometimes. It wasn't enough that his team was up 30-some points and on their way to an easy win - their eighth straight victory. He got a little roughed up while going for a rebound and argued hard enough to get a technical. Then he followed referee Brian Forte around and continued to complain until he got a second technical and an early trip to the locker room. Isn't this guy ever happy?

Yahoo box scores: Last night's Lakers/Sonics game sure was a strange one, if you believe the Yahoo box score. Both teams apparently went scoreless in the first quarter before L.A. outscored Seattle 62-43 in the second. Thanks to Basketbawful reader Scott Williams for the heads up.

box score

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Blogger Unknown said...
Somewhere out there Yao Ming is now awkwardly throwing darts at a picture of Kobe's head.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
Ouch! The Suns/Pistons game was probably one of the ugliest games I have seen this year. Not that the Pistons played ugly, just that the Suns looked like they were a fish out of water, gasping for air (oh wait, no, that was Shaq). There was absolutely no chemistry in that game for the Suns, and it seemed that the Pistons were able to get any shot that they wanted. I want to send this game into the "We are still adjusting" garbage heap in the back of the Suns' arena. I know that when the playoffs came around, the Suns will be alright...I hope.

Also, I cant post a message without saying how much I despise Boris Diaw. I figure the only reason this guy plays, at all, is because D'Antoni is the one who signed him to 9 million a year and he doesnt want to look like a total jackass by not playing him. Why isnt Skinner taking his place, at least he can play some type of defense. Diaw is as soft as they come. Ahhhhh......

Blogger anne said...
I turned off the Suns/Pistons game before halftime. However, my need for a Nash fix overruled any common sense, so I turned it back on in the 4th quarter... christ. Thanks for making me depressed on my birthday, Steve Kerr, you Matrix trading douchebag.

If it weren't for Nash I wouldn't stick with this team after watching Shaq wheezing on the court. If Shaq were playing for the Knicks, watching him gasp for air while Zeke makes faces would be funny, but two of my favorite players are affected (Shawn Marion in Miami hell, and Nash having to deal with Shaq), so I'd pretty much like to stab Steve Kerr. Fuck this shit.

At least Dallas won. If they had lost to the Bucks, I would have got on a plane and torched Mark Cuban's house.

Blogger Unknown said...
How bad was Z-Bo yesterday? This bad http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7lvYf08X6tc

Blogger anne said...
P.S. this photo from the All Star game is quite hilarious. Amare may be getting a "pat on the head" by Timmah, but Amare looks like he wants Tim to pat the other head.


Blogger Unknown said...
Why do Tim Duncan's hand's look like facehuggers from the Alien series.

Blogger Wild Yams said...
Back to that Cavs-Wizards game on Friday, that clock management by the Wiz at the end was some of the worst I've ever seen. The Wiz had the ball up 1 with 40 seconds left and they had a foul to give, so their situation was either go 2-for-1 and get a shot up quickly, or preferably run it down as low as you can so the Cavs will only have 10-15 seconds left to try something. Instead Antawn Jamison went for a bad shot with 26 seconds left in the game (so they'd have no 2-for-1), and the Cavs would have the ball last. After the missed shot Cleveland had it and the Wiz decided to use their foul to give with 15 seconds left, which was stupid because that's more than enough time for the Cavs to set up and run a full play, which LeBron did when the Wiz decided not to double him. Then the Wiz get the ball back with 7 seconds left, and DeShaun Stevenson dribbles beyond the arc till there are about 2 seconds left, then drives in for a wild shot that went off the top of the backboard, game over.

How hard is it to understand that in the last minute of the game if you have the lead you want to shorten the game, but if you're trailing you want to lengthen it? With the lead you wanna run as much clock as possible, but when you're trailing you never want to just dribble it out and then throw up a last second shot. Shoot as quick as possible so if you miss you might get a board and another chance. Poorly played, Wiz.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
what's the source for Anthony Parker's comments... I just can't get over 'crap coated poopsicle.'