The general consensus seems to be that Adam Morrison is, in fact, the next Basketball Jesus. You know, just like Michael Smith, Danny Ferry, Christian Laettner, Mike Dunleavy Jr., and that white guy who "totally lights it up" at the local YMCA. Science is currently incapable of proving the theory that someone went back in time and cloned Morrison out of the DNA left in one of Larry Bird's old shoes, but here are the things we know for sure:
1. Adam Morrison is white.

2. Adam Morrison can play basketball. Really well.

3. See items 1 and 2 above.
'Nuff said. It goes without saying (but of course I'll say it anyway) that you'd better start stocking up on Adam Morrison memorabilia and fast. It won't still be this cheap after he's inducted into the Basketball Hall of Fame. And what would make a better starter piece for your collection than some bloody gauze that fell out of Morrison's nose?

Morrison gauze
You can't tell because of the gauze, but Adam
bleeds sunshine and puppy dogs.

The auction description reads as follows:
"This is the game used gauze pad covered in blood from Adam Morrison. During the final 4 minutes of the first half of the NCAA college basketball game between Gonzaga and Pepperdine on Monday, February 20, 2006, Adam Morrison used this to clear a bloody nose as he continued to play. With seconds left in the first half, Morrison threw the pad to the sideline under the basket where I picked it up. Feel free to e-mail me with any questions you may have."
I'm sure you'll all join me in saying: EWWWWW!!" I don't know about you, but when someone throws a bloody band-aid on the floor, I think it's usually a good idea to just leave it there. Not this guy, though. I really hope he doesn't attend WNBA games, otherwise we'll probably end up seeing Lisa Leslie's used feminine hygiene products up for sale. That would be so wrong.
Blogger hucklebuck said...
Good times this blog, good times.

Blogger Basketbawful said...
Thank you, hucklebuck. Your encouragement nourishes us. Without it, we would die. So by all means, keep up with the compliments.