Well, basketball will be back in force this weekend, so you know what that means: time to make fun of Kobe Bryant's deteriorating personal life. The NBA lockout is over, and the Kobe Lockout has begun...with furniture all over the front lawn, no less.

First the Lakers lose the CP3 sweepstakes (albeit in completely illogical fashion - "We owners chose to keep CP3 out of a big market like Los Angeles so we could endorse competitive equality and ship him to a small market like...Los Angeles." Brilliant.), and now this?

I guess even Vanessa has decided to jump off the Laker-tanic, thus proving the universal truth that a man should never buy a woman a 4-zillion dollar ring to apologize for infidelity and alleged sexual assault because, well, after the gooey surge of miss-manners-guilt a woman inevitably feels when said man presents her with a 4-zillion-dollar ring wears off, she's bound to leave him anyway, and he's out 4 zillion bucks.

To be honest, I wouldn't harp on Kobe's off-the-court problems much, if at all, if not for this dazzling video. KB24, peace out.



Also, thanks to mikeyb for his what-a-team's-Web-site-tells-you-about-the-team submission, the highlight of which was this magnificent fan poll. Well done, my friend:

pistons


While we're at it, if you missed my A Christmas Story Board Game video, you're missing out on what may be the greatest / worst Holiday-Movie-related-board-game of all time. Here it is again as a little pre-NBA season Christmas entertainment present before the NBA season kicks off this Sunday. Let basketbawfulness begin! ET3, peace out.

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Ginobili (gi-nob'-blee) verb. 1. To flop in response to minimal (or perhaps fictitious) contact in order to draw a foul. 2. To greatly overreact to little or no physical stimuli for personal gain.

Usage example: The guy I was guarding just toppled over and started writhing around. I barely touched him, but he got the foul call and his team won the game. I totally got Ginobili'd.

Word history: This word, inspired by Reebok's You got Rondo'd viral video campaign, is destined to become the standard term for describing athletes who needlessly dive, flail, flop, tumble, and/or thrash about for a foul call (and extrapolates to refer to any person who overreacts to minimal physical contact for personal gain). Sure, there are plenty of players who behave this way, but Manu is by far our favorite. Manu, you may not have won the title this year, but you'll always be first our heart -- our cynical, sarcastic heart, that is.

And now...prepare to be Ginobili'd (thanks to the great Basketbawful for his acting performance that, in my opinion, rivals even the standard-bearing Manu himself):


Phonetastic extra: Ever wonder how to pronounce Araujo, Garbajosa, Jasikevicius, Tsakalidis, or Vinicius? Then go check out The International NBA Players Pronunciation Guide.

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