Well, basketball will be back in force this weekend, so you know what that means: time to make fun of Kobe Bryant's deteriorating personal life. The NBA lockout is over, and the Kobe Lockout has begun...with furniture all over the front lawn, no less.

First the Lakers lose the CP3 sweepstakes (albeit in completely illogical fashion - "We owners chose to keep CP3 out of a big market like Los Angeles so we could endorse competitive equality and ship him to a small market like...Los Angeles." Brilliant.), and now this?

I guess even Vanessa has decided to jump off the Laker-tanic, thus proving the universal truth that a man should never buy a woman a 4-zillion dollar ring to apologize for infidelity and alleged sexual assault because, well, after the gooey surge of miss-manners-guilt a woman inevitably feels when said man presents her with a 4-zillion-dollar ring wears off, she's bound to leave him anyway, and he's out 4 zillion bucks.

To be honest, I wouldn't harp on Kobe's off-the-court problems much, if at all, if not for this dazzling video. KB24, peace out.

Kobe Divorce Meltdown - watch more funny videos

Also, thanks to mikeyb for his what-a-team's-Web-site-tells-you-about-the-team submission, the highlight of which was this magnificent fan poll. Well done, my friend:



While we're at it, if you missed my A Christmas Story Board Game video, you're missing out on what may be the greatest / worst Holiday-Movie-related-board-game of all time. Here it is again as a little pre-NBA season Christmas entertainment present before the NBA season kicks off this Sunday. Let basketbawfulness begin! ET3, peace out.

A Christmas Story - The Board Game - watch more funny videos

Labels: divorce, Kobe, video

All the women who were hoping to get a piece of The Big Bachelor should calm down now: Shaq and his wife Shaunie are calling off their divorce.

Said the still-Mrs. Shaq: "Neither one of us could probably answer why we were getting one in the first place. Things have been going so great, that someone actually had to remind us that 'Hey, you do remember those papers are still there.' Literally, it was days ago. So, we've agreed that before we leave Florida in a few days we'll make sure that that's gone away."

Neither one of them could answer why they were getting divorced? Really?! I seem to remember that, less than two months ago, Shaq unforgettably rapped that: "I'm a horse, Kobe ratted me out, that's why I'm getting divorced." Oh. Wait. That's right. He was just teasin'.

I'm sure the now non-divorce has nothing to do with Shaunie's new video-sharing Web site, which is set to launch on September 1st. Because there would be no difference whatsoever in marketing a Web site created by "Shaunie Whats-Her-Name" and "Shaunie 'Shaq's wife' O'Neal."

Oh, and don't get too excited about that Web site. It won't feature videos of Shaq hanging around the crib freestyling about Kobe, David Robinson, Rik Smits, or whoever. It's meant to showcase children and their talents, providing families a kid-friendly, safe place to upload and share videos. Yeah, I know. I fell asleep just typing that out.

Update! Here's an old "Couples Uncensored" segment from Access Hollywood starring Mr. and Mrs. Shaq. That Shaq...he loves talking about his own ass.

Labels: divorce, Shaq, Shaunie O'Neal