If there's a stampede to see the above dreck at all this season, by that logic, Michael Jordan has been an executive as competent as...uh...Jerry Krause.
So, the Maloofs are busy chortling in glee as a recent Sacramento Bee article has Mayor Kevin Johnson -- he of the late-80s/early-90s Phoenix Suns -- proclaiming that the NCAA's recent rejection of Arco Arena as a continuing college tournament venue could ultimately help send the purple paupers elsewhere. With the billionaires satisfied at more criticism at the big barn in Natomas, what's next for them to do?

Hmm, maybe spend the money to provide a competitive team to justify the replacement arena at Cal Expo, a site near the region's most congested freeway and most popular shopping mall? Funding the said replacement building themselves, as opposed to hoping taxpayers will fawn over the project?

Nah.

Instead, I and many others who witnessed last year's lacktion largesse received this helpful email:

"As a valued Kings fan, you are invited to purchase Kings individual game tickets before they go on sale to the general public. Your exclusive presale opportunity begins Tuesday, September 22, at 9 a.m. and ends Thursday, September 24, at 11:59 p.m."

Keep in mind I'm not a season ticket holder or anything, so gee...I must've been quaking in my boots, soooo worried that my upper-deck seat from last year's Clippers-Kings sucktacular is going to disappear if I didn't pre-purchase.

But wait, there's more!

"Be sure to buy tickets early as the selection is limited and the best seats will go quickly! This is your opportunity to share the Kings with your friends and family."

I'm sure those premium seats are being rushed upon right now, you know, those $750 specials they're offering for that Not-Answer visit I am keen on watching:




Yep, you read that right. According to Ticketmaster, these courtside chairs against one of the most promisingly bad squads of the last few years...are priced as if Kobe and King Crab were on the hardwood. Huh!?

Potential consumers are even blessed with a $37 convenience charge, too, putting the final total near $800. But at least that $37 covers the sheer expense of the most awesome CAPTCHA of all time, "thug SO" (the actual CAPTCHA for this ticket search - appropriate for this game, isn't it?).

Still, $800 for some terrible basketball.

And yet the Maloofs wonder why attendance has fallen in a region hit hard by foreclosures and state worker furloughs. Maybe it isn't simply because we don't have an ultra-modern, swanky, luxury box-filled court like the Palace of Auburn Hills...which is exactly the same age as Arco Arena. Woops.

Labels: exorbitant, expensive, Memphis Grizzlies, overpriced, pandering, Sacramento Kings, Suckramento, tickets

My name's not Pip and I don't have any "great expectations" per se...but if you'd like to be my mysterious benefactor, then this post is for you. Somebody is selling two courtside tickets to the Celtics-Lakers game on Christmas day for a mere $8,500! That's a pretty small price to pay for my holiday happiness, don't you think? So small, in fact, that you should probably go ahead and throw in air fare, the cost of a reasonably swanky hotel, and some walking around money. Thanks in advance. And no, you cannot have the extra ticket.

Now, I admit, I'm a wee bit skeptical, especially since the item description box says the tickets are for the Rose Bowl. But how can I possibly NOT trust an eBay listing that provides the following rock-solid proof of authenticity:

Oh, well if your boobs say the tickets are real...
The best part of this auction, though, is the seller's pitch: "Sit like Jack [Nicholson]...on the wood!" Wow. I didn't think Jack swung that way...he seemed so homophobic in As Good As It Gets.

Now, don't think I'm not sensitive to the finanacial woes you might be suffering in this lagging economy. So if you can't affort the 10K or so I'll need for the game, you can go ahead and get me this Glen "Big Baby" Davis jersey, which is only $550. It's classified as game worn/used even though he only wore it to a photo shoot. But whatever. At least the seller guarantees that it was the jersey he was wearing when this photo of him eating a basketball was taken.

For Big Baby, even having a picture taken is hungry work.

Labels: Boston Celtics, Christmas list, eBay, Los Angeles Lakers, tickets