Practicing is about all Morrison did in L.A.
Let me state up front that I wanted this entry to be about Ron Artest. See, I'm still bitter. Still bitter that he couldn't keep it together when he was on the Bulls. And I'm very bitter about his time with the Pacers: Not only did the infamous Pacers-Pistons brawl he started ruin Indy's last serious shot at a title, he did it during Reggie Miller's final season. Then, after Pacers GM Larry Bird gave him a second chance, Ron-Ron began the season by asking for a couple months off to promote his rap album (his request was declined)...and then he demanded a trade (that request was granted).

The Pacers are still recovering, both financially -- they're losing about $30 million a year and the city of Indianapolis recently granted the team a $33 bailout just to keep them from leaving town -- and in terms of oncourt success. Seriously, it's starting to look like the Pacers may never be good ever again.

Thank you, Ron Artest. Thank you very much.

And yet I can't do it. I can't include Artest in my list of Worst NBA Champions. There are two reasons for this. First, he may well have been the difference between the Lakers winning the title or succumbing to their hated rivals. He didn't have a good playoffs -- his shooting was turrible (39% from the field, 29% in threes), he missed 16 of his 38 fouls shots, and he gave up 110 points per 100 possessions -- but he made crucial contributions in the Finals. Namely, slowing down Paul Pierce and hitting some key shots, particularly near the end of Game 7. It's not inaccurate to suggest the Lakers might not have won without him.

Secondly, there's ample reason to suggest that Artest really is batshit crazy. And as funny as it is when Ron freaks out and mistakes mushrooms in his yard for giant, deadly snake eggs, the reality seems to be that his struggles with mental health are both genuine and organic. Much as I hate to admit it, I actually felt something close to joy for the guy when he thanked his psychiatrist after the Lakers won the title. After all, here was a man who had escaped the hell of his own mind to achieve a very real, very public redemption.

As a Pacers fan, I hated him. As a human being, I applauded him.

So Ron gets a free pass this time around. Instead, I turn my attention to The 'Stache: Adam John Morrison.

I almost feel bad about picking on Morrison. God knows he's been picked on enough during his brief and highly unsuccessful NBA career. I say "unsuccessful" relative to the expectations placed on him. Of course, his so-called lack of success has earned him two NBA championships and almost $17 million in cold, hard cash. Man...I wish my epic fails were more like Morrison's.

Still, his fall from grace has been long, hard, and face-first into the giant Palm of Destiny. After all, he was a great player in college. Wait. Scratch that. He was a great scorer in college. During his third and final season at Gonzaga, he led the nation in scoring by averaging 28.1 PPG while shooting almost 50 percent from the field and nearly 43 from downtown. As Wikipedia recounts: "He had 13 games of 30-plus points, with five of them over 40. His scoring totals against teams in the "major" conferences are no less impressive; he averaged 28.5 points in 11 such games. On February 18, Morrison recorded a career high 44 (including 37 in the second half alone) points against Loyola Marymount Lions in a winning effort."

Dude could put the biscuit in the basket.

During his final game as a college student -- versus UCLA in the Sweet Sixeen -- Morrison led the Zags with 24 points. Unfortuantely for Adam, UCLA came back from a 17-point deficit and literally stole the game in the final seconds. Heartbreak City, baby. Before the game had even ended, Morrison started to cry. Then, when it was finally over, he flopped on the ground, pulled his jersey over his head, and wept like a wee little baby. Here's the entire spectacle:


It was an ugly scene. And as you could see, his tantrum prevented him from helping give his team a chance at the end...and he took some serious shit for it. Not enough to keep him from becoming an NBA lottery pick. But still.

Of course, there were legitimate concerns regarding his NBA prospects. He was slow. He was slightly awkward and not particularly athletic. Despite his size (6'8"), he didn't rebound very well (only 5.1 RPG for his college career and 5.5 during his final season). He didn't do much to make his teammates better either (to wit: during his final season at Gonzaga, he averaged about 20 FGA and almost 10 FTA but only 1.7 APG). And his ability make the transition to the pros was seriously questioned:

While Morrison’s dominance at the college level can’t be questioned, many still doubt how his game will translate to the next level. Morrison has a certain amount of deceptive quickness to his game, but is he a good enough athlete to be a star in the NBA?

With how hard Morrison has to work to get shots at the college level, can he create offense against the Ron Artests and Bruce Bowens of the NBA? While the caliber of defender guarding Morrison has made little difference during his time at Gonzaga, it remains to be seen whether he has the footspeed or overall athleticism to succeed as an all-around scorer at the next level.

The other hole in Adam Morrison’s game can be easily observed on the defensive end. Morrison clearly reserves most of his energy for his scoring expoits, and tends to coast on defense most of the time. Gonzaga will often switch into zone defenses so teams can’t exploit him on that end.

While Morrison has solid defensive instincts when he is focused, it is generally perceived that the lack of footspeed will really hurt in one-on-one situations on the defensive end. Morrison may very well be able to create his own shot in the NBA, but it is hard to see him being able to stay in front of the freak athletes occupying the wing position in the NBA. It is likely that whichever team ends up drafting Morrison will have to come up with a defensive gameplan that covers for Morrison’s shortcomings on that end.

Despite the many doubts, Michael Jordan -- in one of his first acts as Manager of Basketball Operations of the Charlotte Bobcats -- made Morrison the third overall selection in the 2006 NBA Draft...ahead of guys like Brandon Roy, Rudy Gay and Rajon Rondo, not to mention a scad of other servicable roleplayers (J.J. Redick, Ronnie Brewer, Boobie Gibson, Paul Milsap, etc.).

Morrison's entry into the Association led to some semi-brilliant NBA Live commercials:



There was also one about his mustache that I can't figure out how to embed. Unfortunately, these commericals -- filmed before he had played a single NBA game -- turned out to be the best part of his entry into the league.

Morrison had a rough rookie season -- 11.8 PPG, 37% FGP, 33% 3P% -- and lost his starting job after only 23 games because of bad shooting and worse defense. By all accounts, Morrison spent the offseason working himself into terrific shape only to tear the ACL in his left knee during a preseason game, which forced him to sit out the entire 2007-08 season. When Adam returned for the the 2008-09 campaign, he had regressed (4 PPG, 35% FGP). It didn't help that the 'Cats new coach, Larry Brown, hated Morrison's defense and preferred strong drives to willowy three-pointers. At the trade deadline, he was shipped to L.A., where he passed out enough Gatorade and handed out enough clean towels during timeouts to become an NBA champion.

There were rumors Morrison might not return for the 2009-10 season, that the Lakers might trade him or buy out his contract. No dice. L.A. held onto him because, by all accounts, he was a hard worker and a diligent practice player. And ideal 12th man. But not a rotation player.

In all, Morrison appeared in only 31 games. He never played more than 16 minutes and 53 seconds. For the season, he took 85 shots and scored only 74 points. His season high was seven points. In 25 of his games, he scored five points or less. In 10 of his games, he didn't score at all. His shooting percentages were 37 percent from the field and 23 percent from beyond the arc.

His postseason contributions were even more limited. He appeared in exactly two first round playoff games: He logged four minutes in the Lakers' 110-89 Game 4 loss in Oklahoma City, and he put in eight minutes worth of work during L.A.'s 111-87 home win in Game 5.

And that was it. Those were his final minutes of PT as a member of the Lakers. When Morrison's contract expired this summer, Mitch Kupchak let him know his services were no longer required. He worked out with a few teams -- the Bulls and Celtics, for instance -- and it appears he might be hooking up with the Washington Wizards. Which, honestly, is great, because -- like I said -- he appears to be a focused, determined player who is well-liked by his teammates.

Just ask Kobe Bryant: "[The fact that Morrison couldn't crack the rotation] is a testament to our team, honestly, because Adam can really play. He can really, really go. For him to take a step back and to do things like that really helped us get to that championship level."

Considering how rarely Kobe doles out praise, that's really saying something. And it gets to the point of this post. Unlike some of the other Worst NBA Champions, Morrison wasn't a locker room cancer, or someone who put himself ahead of team goals, or someone who bragged about accomplishments he was barely a part of, or a huge douchebag. It seems he was a character guy who took his role with the team very seriously but simply wasn't good enough to keep his job.

Or even get in a real game.

No, Morrison wasn't a bad guy. He was -- and is -- a walking, talking, non-playing cautionary tale. He had a truly memorable college career, but he went bust in the NBA. It's not his fault. It's not like he didn't try. And I'm sure it's something that's pretty hard to take. It would have to be.

But he has a ring.

Update! Bonus video: Morrison's 2010 NBA Finals highlights (via Wild Yams):

Labels: Adam Morrison, Ron Artest, Worst NBA Champions

He has more rings than Jerry West and Oscar Robertson. And he's dating Maria Sharapova. Nope...life isn't fair.
This may be hard for you to believe right now, but during the summer of 2008, there was some serious drama about whether or not the Lakers would be able to re-sign Sasha Vujacic, a.k.a. The Machine. So much so, in fact, that he was threatening to take his talents to South Beach Europe. No, really.

From the Los Angeles Times:

Lakers reserve guard Sasha Vujacic, a restricted free agent, is prepared to leave the team and accept an offer from a European team in the next few days if the Lakers don't make him an offer he deems fair, according to a source in the Vujacic camp who spoke only on the condition of anonymity.

The source said Vujacic is seeking a multiyear deal from the Lakers averaging about $5 million a year. Vujacic was hoping for a six-year deal, but anticipated it could be a shorter contract.

...

Because the Lakers are over the luxury tax, they would be assessed an amount equal to any sum they spend over it.

Lakers General Manager Mitch Kupchak has been negotiating with Vujacic's agent, Rob Pelinka.

"We are very aware of the global market as it has changed over the years. It was our desire to bring Sasha and Ronny back. It continues to be our desire to bring Sasha back," Kupchak said Thursday after hearing of Vujacic's ultimatum. "However, with the ever-changing marketplace that Europe has become, a player, in order to cover his bases, can negotiate with his NBA team and, at the same time, have a plan that allows him to have the possibility of going overseas."

I loved it. Loved it, I tell you. Especially the "according to a source in the Vujacic camp who spoke only on the condition of anonymity" part. It may as well have said, "according to Sasha Vujacic, who is posing as a member of his make-believe camp and therefore needs to speak only on the condition of anonymity."

Mind you, these crazy demands were issued shortly after Vujacic got used by Ray Allen like a Clorox Wipe on a stripper pole...during a critical possession of the NBA Finals no less:


Anyway, the possibility of losing Vujacic to some foreign team actually got some people worked up. People like Kelly Dwyer of Ball Don't Lie. Okay, not really. Dwyer was kidding. Most likely. But I distinctly remember reading some Lakers fan posts urging Kupchak to build a wall of money around the United States over which Vujacic would never be able to escape.

On July 25, 2010, that's exactly what Kupchack did:

Lakers restricted free agent guard Sasha Vujacic has agreed to a three-year, $15 million contract after emerging last season as a key member of the Western Conference champions.

"We felt Sasha made great progress in this past year, and our coach showed great confidence in playing him the second half of the season," Lakers general manager Mitch Kupchak said Friday in confirming the agreement, first reported by the Riverside Press-Enterprise. "Assuming he continues to work as hard during the offseason as he has in the past, I don't see any reason that trend wouldn't continue."

The 24-year-old Vujacic averaged a career-high 8.8 points, 2.1 rebounds and 1.0 assists in 72 games this season, and 8.1 points 2.2 rebounds and 0.8 assists while playing in all 21 playoff games.

Vujacic drew national attention June 10, scoring a career playoff high 20 points including a crucial 3-pointer with a little under two minutes remaining in the Lakers' 87-81 victory over the Celtics in Game 3 of the NBA finals.

Hey, sure, why not? Vujacic had been pesky on defense and a pretty reliable shooter on offense (45% from the field and 43 percent on threes). He had that good Finals game. And the fans loved Sasha. Even Kobe Bryant loved Sasha. Just ask...Sasha:

"They are my team. They brought me over from Europe and I feel at home in this organization and in LA. Everywhere I'd go, Lakers fans would say to me, 'Please re-sign, you have to come back Machine.' And that really gave me a warm feeling about it."

...

"It's always kind of been older brother, younger brother with Kobe and I. Kobe called me on the first day of free agency and said, 'I love you and we all need you. But whatever you decide, I'll stand by your decision.' Then he called me on the last day I was deciding and at the end of the conversation, we both said, 'Let's do it.'"

Wow. With all that love, and the newfound riches, there was nothing holding Vujacic back from having the best season of his career. Nothing except the fact that he wasn't really all that good to begin with.

During the 2008-09 season, Sasha regressed. His scoring average dropped 3 PPG and his shooting went to hell (38% from the field, 36 from downtown). His decline into a pasty mass of useless man-flesh highlighted the only potential vulnerability in L.A.'s championship hopes: Lack of depth at the guard position.

In all fairness to Vujacic -- I can't believe I'm even typing those words -- he did start the season with a fractured ankle (as an anonymous reader reminded me). That would qualify as a setback. Said Vujacic: "I realize that it is what it is. You've got to play it smart. And, it's going to be OK. Right now, it's just a little bit frustrating."

Even more so for Lakers fans, Sasha.

If Vujacic's regular season was a failure -- and let's face it, he managed to disappoint on a team with the perpetually disappointing Luke Walton and Adam Morrison -- his playoffs were the rotten cherry on the poop sundae of his career. Vujacic logged 250 minutes over 23 postseason games and was, without a doubt, the most cadaverous of the active Lakers (Morrison wasn't on the playoff roster). He averaged only 3 PPG on 26 percent shooting. His PER was 4.2. He compiled an Offensive Rating of 82 and a Defensive Rating of 104. He finished the playoffs with a Win Share of -0.1, tied with D.J. Mbenga for worst on the team. And at least Mbenga had an excuse: He only played 16 postseason minutes. All I know is finishing with a negative Win Share score on a championship team is a pretty bad sign. Much like waking up with a pit bull's mouth clamped to your genitals is a bad sign.

What's more, Vujacic's performance in the championship series nearly earned him "Legally Deceased" status. In five Finals games, Sasha scored exactly zero points on 0-for-6 shooting. His series totals were: 2 rebounds, 1 assist, 1 turnover and 3 fouls. It's like the Magic paid him off to suck. (Huh. That sounded bad.) The only thing he didn't do was whack Kobe Bryant in the knee with a baseball bat.

Money well-spent, Mitch.

Beyond his general uselessness in his team's championship cause, Vujacic just bugs the shit out of me. He's one of the biggest, creepiest, most annoying douchebags in the NBA. If not the biggest. As Stormin' Normam Disciple of Not Qualified To Comment said: "This whiny, flopping, jabbering idiot pisses everyone off." That's right: Everyone. Even teammates. I mean, the dude tried to start some junk at practice with Adam Morrison of all people (said Kobe: "A lot of meowing going on out there. The claws coming out.")

Seriously, his teammates can't stand him:


I mean, really:


And again:


Aaaaand again:


And don't think it's only his teammates. Remember when Carmelo Anthony tried to choke a bitch? Check it:


And let's not forget this ill-timed nonsense from the 2010 Western Conference Finals...


...which almost earned him a death sentence from Kobe:


I don't think he was joking. Considering what Kobe's legal team has done for him in the past, I'm surprised Sasha didn't enter witness protection.

So yeah. I have a little extra emnity for this basketball waste product. It's bad enough the guy is being paid millions to mop the Lakers bench with his Eurotrash ass. He's also a miserable excuse for a human being. God, I hate that guy.

But he has a ring. In fact, he's got two.

[facepalm]

Update! Sincere apologies for not linking to the Vujachicks site, something so utterly bawful it is retroactively erasing cool things from our reality even as you read these words. As of this writing, several classic Atari 2600 games no longer exist...but that damn E.T. The Extra-Terrestrial game still does. Thanks, Vujachicks.

Labels: Sasha Vujacic, Worst NBA Champions

Note that, in his championship wallpaper, Antoine is waving a towel.
On August 2, 2005, the Miami Heat acquired Antione Walker in a five-team, 13-player deal that went down as the largest trade in NBA history. And get this: The trade included Greg Ostertag! I kid you not. I can think of no better way to begin this post.

Anyway, here are the details:

Walker traded by the Boston Celtics to the Miami Heat; the Memphis Grizzlies traded Greg Ostertag (whom they had received from the Sacramento Kings) to the Utah Jazz; the Miami Heat traded Qyntel Woods, Alberto Miralles, a 2006 2nd round draft pick (Edin Bavcic) and a 2008 2nd round draft pick (Nikola Pekovic) to the Boston Celtics; the Miami Heat traded Eddie Jones to the Memphis Grizzlies; the Miami Heat traded Rasual Butler to the New Orleans/Oklahoma City Hornets; the Utah Jazz traded Curtis Borchardt to the Boston Celtics; the Utah Jazz traded Raul Lopez to the Memphis Grizzlies; and the Utah Jazz traded Kirk Snyder to the New Orleans/Oklahoma City Hornets.

Now that's some serious player movement. Actually, it's more like a bowel movement, considering the players involved. But I digress.

The Walker acquisition was part of Heat GM Pat Riley's "all-in" attempt to win a championship before Shaq aged himself out of dominance. To that end, Riley also brought in Gary Payton, Jason Williams and James Posey. Riley believed his team was in an all-or-nothing situation...and history has proven he was right.

Some people might say this is an unfair selection. After all, it could be argued that 'Toine made reasonably significant contributions to the 2005-06 Miami Heat (in fact, Basketbawful reader Arouet did just that in yesterday's comments section).

For the season, Walker averaged 12.2 PPG, 5.1 RPG and 2.0 APG while shooting a career-high 43.5 percent from the field (yes I said "career high 43.5 percent") and 35.8 percent from downtown (which was the third-best mark of his career). He was the team's fourth leading scorer and his Player Efficiency Rating of 14.4 (which was fifth best on the team) ranked him somewhere between "in the rotation" and a "pretty good player."

So why am I picking Walker? History, dear readers. History.

The Boston Celtics selected Antoine with the sixth overall pick of the 1996 NBA Draft, ahead of players like Kobe Bryant (the 13th pick) and Steve Nash (the 15th pick). He was supposed to revive a Celtics squad that had won only 33 games the season before. The Walker Hype Machine led to the following totally awesome commercial:


Unfortunately, that commercial represented one of the last times Employee Number 8 ever went to the basket. During his rookie season, 'Toine led the C's in points (17.5) and rebounds (9.0)...but Boston actually dropped from 33 wins to 15. That's right: Adding Walker made the Celtics 18 games worse.

Of course, in all fairness to Walker, the Celtics were tanking in hopes of winning the Tim Duncan lottery. Unfortunately, they had stiff competition from the Vancouver Grizzlies (who went 14-68), the San Antonio Spurs (David Robinson missed 51 games and their leading scorer for the season was a one-foot-in-the-grave Dominique Wilkins) and the Philadelphia 76ers (who managed only 22 wins with a trio of Allen Iverson, Jerry Stackhouse and Derrick Coleman).

We all know how this turned out. The Spurs got the first pick and and took Duncan with it. The Sixers got the second pick and wasted it on Keith Van Horn. The Celtics actually had the third and sixth picks (the latter of which was acquired in a trade with the Mavericks that involved, giggle, Eric Montross).

Tracy McGrady was available...but Boston didn't pick him. (Knee-Mac went ninth.) With the third pick, the Celtics wisely took Chauncey Billups. Sadly, they traded Billups the very next season (along with Dee Brown, Roy Rogers and John Thomas) to the Toronto Raptors for Kenny Anderson, Popeye Jones and Zan Tabak. Boston fans can thank Rick Pitino for that bullshit.

With the sixth pick, they unwisely selected Ron Mercer, who lasted a season and a half before getting shipped to Denver (with Popeye Jones and Dwayne Schintzius) for Danny Fortson, Eric Washington, Eric Williams and a 2001 1st round draft pick (Kedrick Brown). Thanks again, Pitino.

So I guess it wasn't all Walker's fault that the Celtics continued to suck. And he was a workhorse of sorts. During his second season, he played all 82 games, averaging 22.4 PPG, 10.2 RPG, 3.3 APG and 1.7 SPG. Unfortunately, he was still a rather inefficient scorer (42% from the field, 31% from downtown, 64% from the line). What's more, despite all the steals, his individual defense wasn't great. Those two things -- inefficient O, shaky D -- were recurring trends for Walker, who never once finished a season with a better Offensive Rating than Defensive Rating. In fact, his finished his career with an O-Rating of 97 and a D-Rating of 105.

That's right: 'Toine was worth -8 points per 100 possessions over his career.

Whatever discipline Walker had under coach Pitino disappeared when Jim O'Brien took over during the 2000-01 season. That campaign began a stretch of three straight seasons in which Antoine led the league in three-point field goal attempts: 603 (or 7.4 per game) in 2000-01, 645 (8.0 per) in 2001-02, and 582 (7.5 per) in 2002-03. Unbelievably, he still couldn't get his Offensive Rating over 100 (it was a dismal 92 during the 2002-03 season...which might explain why his Offensive Win Share score was -1.6).

Walker's inefficiency was (partially) masked by O'Brien's run-and-gun offense (O'Brien was doing the whole Seven Seconds or Less thing years before Mike D'Antoni "invented" it and "made" Steve Nash). So his averages (20-ish PPG, 8-ish RPG and 5-ish APG) earned him a spot on the 2002 and 2003 Eastern Conference All-Star Teams. In fact, I believe it was during one of those All-Star weekends when 'Toine was famously asked why he took so many threes, to which he infamously responded "Because there are no fours."

Classic.

During the second round of the 2003 NBA playoffs, Boston got swept by the New Jersey Nets. Walker was terrible during that sweep, going 23-for-67 (34 percent) from the field and 3-for-15 (20 percent) from beyond the arc. Remember: Walker was known for being a shooter. I can't stress this enough.

The Celtics decided it was time to go in a new direction. On August 4, 2004, 'Toine (along with Tony Delk) was sent to Dallas for Raef LaFrentz, Chris Mills, Jiri Welsh and a 2004 first round draft pick. Mind you, LaFrentz -- who had averaged 9.3 PPG and 4.8 RPG the previous season -- still had six years and almost $70 million left on his contract. That's how badly the Celts -- GM Danny Ainge in particular -- wanted to get rid of Walker.

And Walker was pissed about it:

"I didn't have a relationship with [Danny Ainge, the team's new director of basketball operations and a former Celtic], period. They're going to say cap reasons and this and that. But anybody who knows basketball knows this was a personal situation. He didn't like me. It's either him or the owners. Somebody didn't like me.

"I figured I had too much power for them. I think I had too many friendships off the court. I think he felt he couldn't have a relationship with me. And I just think he never had a high regard for my game. He's entitled to that opinion. I'm 99 percent sure coach [Jim] O'Brien didn't want me to leave."

Maybe...maybe not. As far as I could tell, the C's were united in their desire to exile their All-Star forward:

In a news conference at the Celtics' training facility, Ainge denied that the move was personal, but then allowed that Walker's strong personality was a factor. Ainge said Walker's outspoken presence may have "stifled" the leadership of other Celtics.

"Antoine had a grasp on our franchise," Ainge told The Globe. "If Antoine is Michael Jordan, it's OK to have a grasp. If Antoine is Larry Bird, it's OK to have a grasp, or Bill Russell. I think those players had grasps on their franchises.

"But I didn't perceive Antoine's grasp on us as a positive thing."

Celtics owner Wyc Grousbeck also denied the deal was made because of a personality conflict.

"It was a unanimous recommendation from everybody involved in basketball," Grousbeck told The Globe. "The two people that [owner] Steve Pagliuca and I met with on Saturday, Jim O'Brien and Danny Ainge, both recommended the deal. The coaching staff, the scouts, player personnel, and Danny unanimously backed the deal. It was not personal."

It has been well-documented that Ainge, in his capacity as a television analyst, had been critical of Walker and his style of play.

"I think Antoine Walker is an excellent player and he's done an excellent job in this organization," Ainge told The Globe. "This is simply basketball. This has nothing to do with anything personal. I don't know Antoine except from basketball observation, from a fan, coaching, and general managing perspective. Maybe I didn't have as high a regard for his game as he had for his game, but I certainly respect Antoine Walker as a player."

Still, things could have been worse for Walker. He was joining a Mavericks team that had won 60 games the season before (which tied the Spurs for best in the league) and led the Association in Offensive Rating (110.7 points scored per 100 possessios). But in the 2003 Western Conference Finals, the Mavericks had lost to the Spurs in six games.

Now, it's worth noting that Dirk Nowitzki got hurt in Game 3 of that series and didn't play again. So who knows what might have happened with a healthy Nowitzki. Still, Mark Cuban was freaked out enough to pull an "all-in" stunt of his own, bringing in both Walker and Antawn Jamison.

The stunt failed. Oh how it failed.

Despite Walker's 27 percent three-point shooting, Dallas once again led the league in Offensive Rating (112.1) but their Defensive Rating fell from ninth in 2002-03 to 26th in 2003-04. The team had no depth and was forced to rely on bench players like Josh Howard (a rookie), Eduardo Najera (declared "legally useless" by productivity scientists) and Shawn Bradley (a.k.a. NBA bitch). Worse, the chemistry the Mavs had displayed the previous season was blown to hell. The result: Dallas dropped from 60 wins to 52, finished third in their own division (barely ahead of the Memphis Grizzlies) and got schooled by the Sacramento Kings in the first round of the playoffs.

That was the end of the Walker Era in Dallas...not to mention the Nash and Jamison Eras. The Mavs traded 'Toine Dallas (again with Tony Delk) to the Atlanta Hawks for Alan Henderson, Jason Terry and a future first round draft pick. Walker was actually leading Atlanta in points (20.4) and rebounds (9.4), and he was second in assists (3.7) and steails (1.2), but the Hawks still wanted nothing to do with him (these days that kind of production would have earned him a six-year, $119 million contract).

So at the trade deadline, Atlanta shipped Walker back to the Celtics for Tom Gugliotta, Gary Payton, Michael Stewart and a 2006 first round draft pick (which became Rajon Rondo after the Hawks traded it to the Suns who traded it back to the Celtics). Supposedly, Walker was brought in to bolster Boston's playoff run...only the Celtcs lost in the first round to the post-Brawl Indiana Pacers. Even worse, the C's lost Game 7 in Boston by the humiliating score of 97-70.

So Walker had failed as a) a savior, b) a roleplayer, and c) a returning hero. Which brings us full circle to his time with the Heat and why I can't stomach the fact that Antoine Walker has more NBA titles than Charles Barkley, Dominique Wilkins, Elgin Baylor, Karl Malone, Patrick Ewing, Steve Nash, John Stockton, and whoever else you want to name.

Look: Walker was an inefficient ballhog who preferred chucking up ridiculous shots to attacking the rim. In the rare event he did make it to the line, he tended to brick his free throws. I mean, honestly, how does a "shooter" hit only 63 percent of his foul shots for his career? The most frustrating thing was that Walker had a solid set of NBA skills. If he'd had a higher basketball IQ, and a more realistic grasp of his place among the NBA elite, he could have been a truly great player.

Instead, he piggybacked his way to a championship in Miami. During the 2006 playoffs, Walker took more treys than any other player (148 of 'em) despite shooting only 32 percent from three-point range. He averaged 13 PPG, but he was the only Heat rotation player to have an Offensive Rating below 100 (it was 97) and an negative Offensive Win Share score (-0.2). And his postseason PER of 10.6 was seventh on the team behind Dwyane Wade, Shaq, Alonzo Mourning, Udonis Haslem, James Posey and Jason Williams.

During Miami's four wins in the Finals, Walker went 6-for-17, 5-for-11, 2-for-7, and 6-for-17. Oh, and he was 3-for-21 on threes. So, yeah. He wasn't exactly lighting it up. Again remember: HE WAS A SHOOTER.

The next season, Riley suspended Walker for being too fat. The season after that, Riley had the same complaint before saying "fuck it" and trading 'Toine (with Michael Doleac, Wayne Simien and a 2009 first round pick) to the Minnesota Timberwolves for Mark Blount and Ricky Davis.

Think about that: Riley preferred having Mark Blount and Ricky Davis over Antoine Walker. If that doesn't say everything, nothing will.

Anyway, you know the rest of this sad story. Walker played about half a season in Minnesota (14.9 PPG, 36% shooting, 32% on threes) before the Timberwolves told him to just stay home. Unable to come to a buyout agreement, the T-Wolves shipped him to Memphis the next summer. After a few months of paying him to sit at home eating Twinkies, the Grizzlies decided to pay him $9 million to go away forever.

Which is more or less what he did. But his name was still in the news because of his ongoing legal problems (from Wikipedia):

On January 5, 2009, Walker was arrested for suspicion of drunk driving at Miami Beach. He had been driving with his headlights off and reportedly had a strong odor of alcohol. His case is still pending and thus has not been convicted.

On July 15, 2009, Walker was charged with three felony counts of writing bad checks related to gambling debts he had incurred at three Las Vegas casinos. Walker was arrested on July 15 at Harrah's Casino in South Lake Tahoe, Nevada. The charges stemmed from over $800,000 in gambling debts. Walker was in Tahoe to play in the American Century Celebrity Golf Classic the following day.

On June 30, 2010, Walker entered a plea of not guilty on felony bad check charges stemming from his failure to pay $770,000 in gambling losses to Caeser's Palace and two other casinos in Las Vegas, Nevada, according to the Las Vegas Review Journal.

Then there was his bankruptcy (again from Wikipedia):

On May 18, 2010, Walker filed for Chapter 7 bankruptcy protection in the Southern District of Florida (Miami) as case number 10-23558 with total assets of $4.3 million and debts of $12.7 million. The filing listed four pieces of real estate including a $2.3 million Miami home that is underwater with a mortgage of $3.6 million, and three other properties in Chicago, one listed for $1.4 million. Nazr Mohammed paid half the fee of Walker's bankruptcy attorney.

Mind you, this is a guy who made almost $110 million in salary alone. And did I mention he was a slumlord too?!

His professional and financial lives were so totally screwed that he actually signed on to play with a Puerto Rican team called the Guaynabo Mets for $7,000 a month. Only the Mets cut him after eight games...during which he went 6-for-27 from downtown. Sorry. I had to.

Now Walker is trying to make an NBA comeback. Supposedly, "four to six" teams are interested in him. I can't imagine for what, unless these teams need some poor sap to sample room service on the road so their star player doesn't end up with food poisoning.

In the end, my problem with Walker is that he wasted so much: talent, potential, money, and so many opportunities. He failed to rejuvenate the Celtic legacy (some might say he even dejuvenated it). He failed to push the Mavericks over the hump. He failed...whatever the hell the Hawks were trying to do (those dysfunctional bastards). He squandered vast, almost unimaginable amounts of money. He couldn't stay out of the way of the law. And he put human beings in danger with criminally careless property mismanagement. The whole Walker story is one giant, goddamned shame.

But he has a ring.

Update! Bonus video: Basketbawful reader zyth sent in video of the Walker Shimmy. How could I omit his shimmy from this post? Inexcusable.


But wait, there's more. How 'bout an example of 'Toine's brilliant shot selection:


Triple team? SHOOT IT, ANTOINE!!


And 'cause chris demanded it:

Labels: Antoine Walker, Worst NBA Champions

Many of you either know or have guessed that I attended Purdue University. As it so happened, my freshman year coincided with Glenn Robinson's final season as a Boilermaker.

I have to tell you: Robinson was a college basketball beast. As his NBA.com bio points out, he was nicknamed "Big Dog" for his oncourt ferocity. During that 1993-94 season, Robinson was...

...named the 1994 National Player of the Year by Associated Press/Rupp, United Press International, the Sporting News, Basketball America, Basketball Times, Basketball Weekly, CBS-TV/Chevrolet, ESPN and ABC analyst Dick Vitale, NABC/Kodak, Naismith and the RCA/U.S. Basketball Writers Association...recipient of the John R. Wooden Award as the nation's top college basketball player...led the NCAA and the Big Ten in scoring and rebounding averages of 30.3 ppg and 10.1 rpg respectively...also the unanimous Big Ten Player of the Year by coaches and media, in addition to being selected the conference's Male Athlete of the Year...first player to lead the Big Ten in scoring and rebounding in the same season since Minnesota's Mychal Thompson accomplished the feat in 1977-78...his 1,030 overall points that year and 560 conference points were single-season scoring records...the total of 1,030 points ranked 13th best for a single-season in NCAA Division I history...became the 15th Division I player all-time to score 1,000 in a season...finished his career at Purdue with the fourth-highest scoring average ever at 27.5 ppg...led the Boilermakers in scoring in 56 of his 62 contests and recorded 31 career double-doubles (pts/rebs)...his 44 points against Kansas (3/24/94) was a school record for an NCAA Tournament game.

But it wasn't just the numbers. Robinson's performances were overwhelming. Drives. Dunks. All manner of crazy shots that routinely went in. And, most importantly, victories.

And yet...there were warning signs I didn't pick up on back then. Minor ones. Like despite the fact that he was so physically dominant, he loved taking jump shots, jacking up more than six three-pointers a game. Sure, he hit almost 40 percent of his treys, but he was always a little too ready to chuck 'em up...which is why he shot less than 50 percent overall against competition he quite simply owned. Furthermore, he averaged only 1.9 assists, meaning he was too busy creating offense for himself to do it for his teammates. And he averaged more than four turnovers per game.

Still, like I said, he was a beast. His coach and comb-over master, Gene Keady, said that Robinson was "an absolute warrior on the court, especially the practice court. If all my players practiced with the same intensity and listened to his coaches as he does, my job would be much easier."

Sounds positively Kevin Garnett-esque, right? And Keady was a straight-shooting hardass of a coach, so I had no reason to suspect that Robinson didn't have that desire and killer instinct that separate the Michael Jordans from the Harold Minors. When he decided to turn pro rather than play out his senior season at Purdue, I was absolutely convinced that Big Dog was going to become the NBA's next major force.

The Milwaukee Bucks had the first overall pick in the 1994 NBA Draft, and Robinson was the obvious number one pick, even in a draft that featured Grant Hill, Jason Kidd and Eric Montross (good call on that one, Celtics). And so Robinson became the first Boilermaker to be chosen number one overall since Joe Barry Carroll (also known as "Joe Barely Cares") in 1980. That fact was pretty ominous...and it was a sign of things to come.

See, Robinson submitted some pretty serious demands. Specifically: a 13-year, $100 million contract, to which the Bucks responded by spitting out their champagne and stuttering "Wha...what the fuuuuuuuuu...."

The Bucks wanted Robinson. Desperately. But not desperately enough to commit to that kind of deal. So Robinson held out until the beginning of training camp, when he and the Bucks finally agreed on a 10-year, $68 million contract that set an all-time record as the richest rookie contract ever. That record still stands, mostly because Robinson's deal freaked people out so much that the league instituted a salary cap for rookies the very next season.

Generally speaking, you'd prefer for a player to force a rule change through his, you know, play.

Big Dog had a pretty good rookie season: 21.9 PPG (10th in the league and number one among rookies), 6.4 RPG (second among rookies), 2.5 APG, 1.4 SPG (second among rookies), and 45.1 percent shooting. He even cut down on his three-point attempts (only 3.4 per game), although his accuracy dropped to 32.1 percent. He was also sixth in Usage Percentage. Unfortunately, he also led the league in total turnovers (313).

Even more unfortunately, the Bucks weren't winning. So even though he earned two Rookie of the Month awards (in December and April) and made the All-Rookie First Team, he finished third in balloting for Rookie of the Year, behind co-winners Hill (19.9 PPG, 6.4 RPG, 5.0 APG, 1.8 SPG) and Kidd (11.7 PPG, 7.7 APG, 5.4 RPG, 1.9 SPG), who supposedly had better all-around seasons.

Of course, the voting was skewed by a few factors. In Kidd's favor was the fact that his Mavericks improved from 13 wins in 1993-94 to 36 wins in 1994-95 (Robinson's Bucks only improved from 20 wins to 34 wins). Hill's Pistons improved by only eight wins (20 to 28), but Grant's apparently selflessness was considered a stark contract from the me-first Robinson, who held a proverbial gun to his team's head and held out for an historic contract.

Still, considering the slow-it-down and grind-it-out era in which he was playing, the numbers from Robinson's rookie season seemed to mark him as a superstar in the making. What nobody could have known at the time was that Robinson had already more or less hit his peak as a player. He would average a few more points (23.4 in 1997-98) and rebound a little more (setting a career high with 6.9 RPG in 20001-01), shoot somewhat better from the field (47.2 percent in 1999-00) and downtown (39.2 percent in 1998-99), but his career averages (20.7 PPG, 6.1 RPG, 2.7 APG, 45.9 percent shooting from the field and 34 percent from downtown) were pretty indicative of what he gave the Bucks year-in, year-out.

And hey, those are solid numbers. Guys have made All-Star teams with worse stats than that, and, in fact, Robinson made a couple of those (in 2000 and 2001). But honestly, those results were pretty disappointing for somebody whom people expected to become a Jordan-like player.

So what happened with Glenn? My first roommate out of college, who was also a Purdue alum, liked to say, "Glenn got $100 million coming out of college and spent it all on Twinkies." Robinson wasn't fat, exactly, but he did look a little soft. He played like it too. I mean, here was a physical specimen who averaged only 4.4 free throw attempts per game over his career. As his career progressed, he took jump shots more and more and attacked the basket less and less. Robinson became the master of the midrange jumper...kind of like Luol Deng before Luol Deng was Luol Deng.

His defense was soft too, which helps explain why his career Defensive Rating (107 points given up per 100 possessions) was higher than his Offensive Rating (102 points scored per 100 possessions).

Eventually, the Bucks got better, although it had as much to do with the additions of Ray Allen and Sam Cassell as it did with Robinson. That trio was good enough to almost make the NBA Finals in 2001, but they were upended by the Philadelphia 76ers (not to mention some very questionable officiating) in the Eastern Conference Finals. Robinson lasted only one more season in Milwaukee before being traded to the Atlanta Hawks for Toni Kukoc, Leon Smith and a 2003 first round draft pick that would become T.J. Ford.

In Atlanta, Robinson was who we thought he was -- 20.8 PPG and 6.6 RPG, just like clockwork. But even though he led the team in scoring, ranked second in assists and steals, and came in third in rebounding, that wasn't good enough for the 2002-03 Hawks (these days, that kind of output would have earned him a six-year, $119 million contract). So Atlanta included in in a four-team trade: Robinson and a 2006 second round pick that became Boobie Gibson were sent to the Sixers; the Minnesota Timberwolves sent Terrell Brandon to the Hawks; the New York Knicks traded Latrell Spreewell to the Timberwolves; the Sixers shipped a 2007 first round pick to the Hawks while sending Randy Holcomb, Keith Van Horn and a bag of cash to the Knicks.

In theory, Philly had finally found the long sought-after second option for Allen Iverson. Only Big Dog had never been paired with a ball hog like The Answer. Not surprisingly, his stats took a big hit (16.6 PPG, 4.5 RPG, 44 percent shooting). To make matters worse, he missed 40 games that season (including the last 20): three because of suspension and 37 due to injury (first a left ankle sprain and then right elbow surgery).

The following season, Robinson didn't play a single game for the Sixers. Supposedly, this was due to injury, but the scuttlebutt was that Philly coach Jim O'Brien refused to play him (which was true) and that Robinson up and left the team (which was also true, but that was actually due to the fact that his mother was diagnosed with lung cancer and, sadly, passed away during the season). And so on February 24, 2005, he was traded to the New Orleans Hornets for Jamal Mashburn and Rodney Rogers. Then, on March 1, the Hornets waived him. A little over a month after that, he was signed by the San Antonio Spurs.

You might be tempted to say, "Huh, wha...?!" But the move made sense, in an "Oh, shit, we are in panic mode" kind of way. See, at the time, Tim Duncan and Devin Brown (who had become an important offensive component for that team) were hurt, and the Spurs -- who after much begging were finally turned down by Karl Malone -- were literally praying for offense. As Gregg Popovich said after the signing: "He's a heck of a shooter, and we have some nights where we have trouble getting it into the hole."

Like most of the rest of the world, the Spurs were dubious about whether Big Dog could adjust to, you know, passing the rock and playing D. Said Popovich:

"I had him set up pretty good, I think. [The Spurs' players] were expecting a black hole. You know, somebody [who] as soon as he caught the ball, it was gone; never see it again. I said, 'I want you guys to make sure that you give him an opportunity to learn defense and all of that; but trust me, all he's going to do is shoot it every time he touches it. You're going to have to be very patient (with him).' We had him set up that way. He's smart. He came in and it might have taken him, you know, five minutes before he shot (the ball). He took a whole five minutes! In that five minutes, they saw him try to play D, so they accepted it."

Said Robinson: "This is one of the best teams in the NBA. All I have to do is to come in and help out. ... This is a new beginning."

Well...sort of. In his nine regular season games as a Spur, Robinson averaged 10.0 PPG and 2.7 RPG in 17.4 MPG. Which was about right: His Per 36 stats were 20.6 PPG and 5.5 RPG...pretty much right on target with his career Per 36 minute numbers of 20.2 PPG and 5.9 RPG.

And about that defense? Pop wasn't worried about it: "The good thing is, he's intelligent and he understands the game. He'll pick up the team-defense concept, so he won't have to be the best individual defender."

It was kind of true: In that (admittedly small) nine-game sample, Robinson had an Offensive Rating of 106 and a Defensive Rating of 100. It was the one and only time in his career that Glenn scored more points per 100 possessions than he gave up. He even squeezed out one last Big Dog game: 23 points (on 9-for-11 shooting) in 22 minutes against the Grizzlies on April 18. It was the last 20-point game he ever had.

Then came the playoffs.

During San Antonio's road to the title, Robinson appeared in 13 games, playing 8.7 MPG and averaging 3.8 PPG, 1.6 RPG and 0.1 APG while shooting 35.6 percent from the field (16-for-45) and 30 percent from downtown (3-for-10). His Effective Field Goal Percentage was 38.9, his PER was 11.7, and he scored 97 points per 100 possessions while giving up 101. He managed a Win Share of 0.2.

During the NBA Finals against Detroit, Glenn appeared in only three of the seven games. The first three. In Game 1, he actually provided a small spark off the bench: 6 minutes, 2 points, 3 rebounds and 3 blocked shots. Those would be his only positive contributions of the series. Robinson was a non-factor in Game 2, mostly because he didn't check in until there were about three minutes left and the Spurs were up by 22 points (he went 0-for-1 from the field and committed a turnover). Afterward, Robinson said:

"Man, I'm happy. All I have to do is just be available. Just like in Game 1. If I'm needed, just give them a little spark. And leave the rest up to the guys.

"I'm going to get a chance in one of these games. People know what I can do. People understand the things that I've been going through, and I'm still moving. That's why the minutes don't bother me. I'm gearing up for next season."

That "next season" never came. After a token appearence in Game 3 -- 5 minutes, 0-for-2 from the field, 0-for-1 from beyond the arc, all zeroes across the box score -- Robinson never again logged a single minute for the Spurs. I mean, he celebrated like a mother fucker when San Antonio won the title in Game 7, but the Spurs didn't ask him back. No other team signed him. And Big Dog quietly faded into retirement.

That was way back in 2005. Meanwhile, Hill and Kidd -- who beat Robinson out for Rookie of the Year way back in 1995 -- are still in the league. Last season, they both made significant contributions to 50-win teams. Hill even played in the Western Conference Finals.

It wasn't supposed to be this way. Robinson was supposed to be The Man. I can't tell you exactly why it didn't happen. I mean, I can point out the flaws in his game. I can suggest that there might have been a lack of killer instinct. Too many mid-range jumpers, not enough all-out attacks on the basket. Too much money too soon. Maybe even too many Twinkies. I guess we'll never know for sure.

What I do know is that, as a Glenn Robinson fan and a former Boilermaker, watching him dance around like a maniac during the Spurs' championship celebration made me feel kind of ashamed. Because, honestly, in my foolish youth, I believed Robinson would be winning multiple titles as the leader of his team. I thought he could be a Larry, Magic or Michael-level player.

Maybe I'm projecting. Maybe I should be more disappointed in myself than I am in Glenn. Maybe I'm just embarrassed because my basketball acumen failed me when I was evaluating him. But I'm not the only person who got hoodwinked. There are an awful lot of people who feel -- despite the 20+ PPG average over his 11 seasons -- that Glenn Robinson failed to live up to his potential.

But -- unlike Hill and Kidd -- he has a ring.

Update! Bonus video: This is must-see Basketbawful TV: Robinson putting Basketbawful mascot Greg Ostertag in his poster.


And again:

Labels: Glenn Robinson, Worst NBA Champions

Don't look so shocked. You knew this was coming.You had to know this was coming, right?
I know, I know. It's too easy, right? Too obvious.

For that reason, I tried to talk myself out of Darko and into somebody else. I nearly chose Mike "The Amityville Scorer" James, except that James and Lindsey Hunter provided a great change-of-pace guard combination off the bench for the 2003-04 Pistons. Their defense was so destructive in short bursts that Rasheed Wallace nicknamed them "The Pit Bulls."

No, Mike James had his uses. He did.

Let's be honest with ourselves, shall we? There wasn't a less deserving NBA champ on that Pistons squad than Darko Milicic.

Darko will always be remembered for getting selected with the second overall pick of the 2003 NBA Draft, when he was infamously chosen ahead of Carmelo Anthony, Chris Bosh and Dwyane Wade. But why stop there? Because it gets worse. Here are some other players chosen after Darko: Chris Kaman, Kirk Hinrich, David West, Kendrick Perkins, Leandro Barbosa, Josh Howard, Mo Williams, Kyle Korver.

All better than Darko, right?

There were even some decent roleplayers that came after him, like Nick Collison, Luke Ridnour, Boris Diaw, Travis Outlaw, Jason Kapono, Steve Blake, Zaza Pachulia. Hell, you could argue that Matt freaking Bonner has had a better NBA career than Darko. After all, Bonner currently has 22.9 career Win Shares. Darko has 6.9.

So forget whiffing on 'Melo, Bosh and D-Wade. It's like the Pistons could have randomly selected almost any other player in that draft class and ended up better off. But no. They selected Darko.

Darko, who became known far and wide as the Human Victory Cigar. Darko, whose life spawned a cult classic basketball blog. Darko, who despite being the second-worst second overall draft pick in NBA history (next to Sam Bowie) has somehow earned (and I use that term loosely) almost $40 million in salary and recently signed a contract with the Minnesota Timberwolves that will pay him another $20 million over the next four years. Like my old college roommate might say: Fuck me.

The Pistons got lucky, and they screwed their luck in the wrong hole without the benefit of any lubrication. Do you know how they even had the second pick in the draft that year? Because championship-caliber teams don't get lottery picks very often. It came to them courtesy of a 1997 trade with the then-Vancouver Grizzlies (who got Otis Thorp in return). And the Pistons knew how lucky they were. They did.

Said president of basketball operations Joe Dumars: "If you go back to any championship-contending team, they can point to something along the way where they caught a huge break. For the ball to come up No. 2 for us on lottery night was an incredible break. You've got to have that if you're going to take the next steps."

Said then-coach Larry Brown: "Any time you get the second pick in the draft, it's crucial that you get a player that is going to be a fixture, and a contributor and hopefully a star."

The funny thing about that last statement is that it came from Larry Brown, a coach who everybody knew had a reputation for neglecting (at best) or abusing (at worst) his rookies. Brown loves savvy vets who know the score. He hates raw players who need their hands held.

And see, Dumars either knew that or should have. So why would he pick the rawest of the raw players available? Detroit fans can thank Will Robinson for that.

Robinson was Dumars' assistant and the oldest scout in the NBA. At the time, his resume included the following: "He has been inducted into 24 Halls of Fame. He has coached the likes of Doug Collins and Spencer Haywood. He was the first African-American head coach in the history of NCAA Division I basketball."

Of Robinson, Dumars said: "Let me tell you something about Will Robinson. He's seen it all. You can't fool Will Robinson. Nothing gets by him."

Really, Joe? Really? 'Cause let's look at some of the things Mr. Robinson had to say about Darko:

"That's the type of kid you want to coach. If I was coaching him, we'd go to the moon."

"He's going to own the game. Own the game. We're going to have to build a new arena. The only thing that could destroy a kid like that is a woman."

"I've seen a lot of kids come through here in my day," Robinson says. "And none of them have ever played like that. That kid's going to be a star. He's a 7-footer that plays like a point guard. That kid's something special."

So Dumars' most trusted advisor had history's biggest, wettest, sloppiest man-crush on Darko? Well then, I guess Joe's decision makes a little more sense then. Although even Dumars realized that Darko wasn't exactly superstar-ready.

Said Dumars: "Darko Milicic is not going to have to come here and be the savior. LeBron is going to have to be the savior in Cleveland, there's no getting around that. Carmelo is going to be expected to carry a huge load. We're going to push [Milicic] to be the best he can be. But, he's not going to be judged on whether he carried us this year. We think that's an excellent situation for him and for us."

Well, that's good, because Darko didn't carry anything except his teammates' bags. During his rookie year, Darko appeared in 34 games and logged only 159 total minutes...which equates to less than 3.5 48-minute games. There were only three games that season in which Darko saw 10 or more minutes. His season-high in minutes played was 12.

Conversely, he had seven games in which he played only one minute, another five games of two minutes, three games of three minutes, four games of four minutes and three games of five minutes. So in 22 of his 34 games, Darko played five minutes or less.

The second overall pick in a draft that featured LeBron James, Dwyane Wade, Carmelo Anthony and Chris Bosh! Sweet baby Jebus!

The thing is, the Pistons weren't the only ones who thought Darko was going to be a player. Utah coach Rick Majerus said: "He reminds me a lot of (Sacramento star) Chris Webber, but he's more skilled than Chris was at the same age (at Michigan). I love Darko's work ethic. We watched him play for five straight hours and then he played for more than another hour because he just loves the game. He's done a great job with his body by going from 220 pounds to 245 pounds in only one year."

I bet C-Webb was pissed. And I'm not even touching that last sentence.

Donn Nelson, the Mavericks' president of basketball operations, addressed comparisons between Darko and Dirk Nowitzki: "We saw Dirk as a multi-position player, but I think Darko is a pure (power forward). Darko doesn't shoot it from as far as Dirk does, but Darko is more dominant in the paint. Dirk is more of finesse player while Darko is more of a power guy. Obviously, we think the world of Dirk. But I would be very surprised if Darko was not a success in this league."

I hope Nelson has gotten over his shock by now.

Man, during his rookie campaign, Darko could have been the guest of honor at an ass convention considering how many NBA-related jokes he was made the butt of. But even as 'Bron, 'Melo and Wade were having strong rookie seasons, the Pistons stubbornly refused to admit they'd made a mistake. Dumars repeatedly insisted that Darko would be a huge part of the team's future...even as Brown struggled to remember the kid's name. "Derrick...? Durkel...? It's definitely a D-word. Oh, right, it's Dcoughcoughcough! That's it. I said it."

Darko's season-high in points was 6. His season-high in rebounds was also 6. His season-high in assists was 2 (he had only 7 total assists on the season). Darko averaged 1.4 PPG and 1.3 RPG. However, his worst stat was his shooting percentage, a dismal 26.2 percent. Wait, I thought he was dominant in the paint? His PER was 6.1. He also finished the season with -0.2 Win Shares, proving that he actually subtracted wins from an NBA champ.

Want some playoff numbers? Of course you do. During Detroit's run for the rings, Darko logged a total of 14 minutes in eight games, giving the Pistons 0.1 PPG, 0.4 RPG and 0.1 APG. His totals in those categories were 1, 3, and 1 respectively.

Want some advanced playoff stats? Of course you do. Darko's postseason PER was -14.8. That's right: -14.8. How does that even happen? Was he scoring for the other team? Tying his teammates' shoelaces together? Spiking their Gatorade with laxitives and human urine? Punching Larry Brown in the face? (No, that's just what he wanted to do.) His True Shooting Percentage was .087 and his Effective Field Goal Percentage was .000. He had -0.2 Offensive Win Shares, 0.0 Defensive Win Shares, and (obviously) a total of -0.2 Win Shares. So, again, he subtracted wins from the Pistons while they were winning a title.

And in case you were wondering: Yes, he was the only player on the team with negative Win Shares in the playoffs. Mind you, Chauncey Billups -- the clear-cut team leader and Finals MVP -- made $5 million in salary that season. Darko made $3.6 million.

Wait. I'm not done yet.

Darko appeared in exactly three Finals games, playing a total of five minutes. In those three games, he scored zero total points, dished out zero total assists, blocked zero total shots and grabbed 2 total rebounds while going 0-for-2 from the field and 0-for-2 from the line. He had Game Scores of -0.4, 0.0 and -0.8. That 0.0 represented his only non-negative Game Score in his eight playoff games.

And I'm still not done.

He was put in for what was described as a "token" appearance in the Pistons' Game 5 blowout of the Lakers. During that title-clinching game, Darko played 2 minutes, finishing with 1 rebound, 1 steal, 1 turnover...and 1 broken hand. Oh yes he did. The injury required surgury and sidelined him for eight weeks. So in the process of winning his first and only championship, Darko not only earned a spot among the all-time great Human Victory Cigars, but he also made the Basketbawful Dumb Injury Hall of Shame.

The only thing missing was him slipping on a banana peel and falling face first into a cream pie.

Things never really got any better for Darko after that. When Brown finally quit (as he always does), the Pistons brought in Flip Saunders, who had a rep for developing young players (such as Kevin Garnett). But nothing changed: Darko averaged 5.6 MPG under Saunders before getting shipped to Orlando for Kelvin Cato and a 2007 first round draft pick (Rodney Stuckey).

Darko was somewhat better for the Magic, but not much. However, he did give them this classic moment: A mid-game nipple rub:


Shockingly, the Magic still let him walk when his rookie contract expired. Even more shockingly, on July 12, 2007 -- the very first day of free agency mind you -- the Memphis Grizzlies (the franchise whose pick allowed the Pistons to get Darko in the first place) signed Milicic to a three-year, $21 million contract. What I want to know is: Who were they bidding against?! Oh, right. Nobody.

During his time with the Griz, Darko struggled with injury problems (first an Achilles tendon injury and then a a broken knuckle on his right hand) and crappy play. He would start and then get benched, start and then get benched, rinse and repeate. Darko couldn't even stay out of his team's doghouse during the offseason. As Basketbawful reader Mladen reminded me, after a 68–67 overtime loss to Greece in the EuroBasket 2007, went apeshit on the officials, threatening to "come back and f*** their mothers to all of them." Here's the video:


FIBA fined him $14,000 for the freakshow, while Grizzlies general manager Chris Wallace and head coach Marc Iavaroni had to wag their fingers at him to the press.

Said Wallace: "We're very displeased with Darko's actions and comments. It's an emotional situation playing in national competition, particularly with Serbia, because they take pride in having good teams. But Darko has to be in control of his emotions."

Yeah, right. Darko had his emotions so under control that he treated the Grizzlies to this classic moment: A Hulk Hogan-style jersey rip:


Despite that genuinely awesome Hulk-out, it soon became obvious, even to the Grizzlies, that Darko was never going to get any better...

...so they traded him to the Knicks for Quentin Richardson and cash. And don't blame Isiah Thomas for this one. Donnie Walsh brokered the Darko deal.

Said Walsh: "When building a team, it is invaluable to have a skilled big man such as Darko. He is the type of player with strong high-post play that will complement Eddy Curry's low-post game. He will thrive in Coach D'Antoni's system."

I seriously hope Donnie was drunk or high when he said that shit. I mean, compliment Eddy Curry's game? Thrive in D'Antoni's system? It's like Walsh had been replaced by an alien who had never before seen this "earth basketball."

D'Antoni was just as delusional: "I am very excited about the possibilities with Darko. He has great size and the skills to really help us. He can run the floor really well, shoot and has a load of talent."

He has a load alright. So much so that D'Antoni played Darko only eight times for an average of 8.9 MPG. Darko got so frustrated about the situation, he vowed to leave the United States as soon as the season was over:

"Whatever happens, I'm going back [to Europe] next year. It's 100-percent certain. I have to be real and not lie. I'm not going to get it done in the NBA. I'm not going to get another opportunity and there's nothing wrong with going back to Europe. I don't want to create a bad atmosphere here, but it's not working in the NBA. I don't give a f*** about the money. I just want to enjoy the basketball. I'd like to have the ball in my hands and have an offense run through me. I'm not just a defensive player."

An offense run through Darko? That's a Basketbawful dream come true!

On February 17, 2010, in an effort to get him the hell out of New York before he went postal or something, the Knicks traded Darko (and cash) to the Minnesota Timberwolves in exchange for Brian Cardinal's corpse (and soon-to-expire contract). In 24 games with the T-Wolves, Darko averaged 8.3 PPG, 5.5 RPG and 1.4 BPG...which apparently was all it took for Minny to ship 20-10-50 guy Al Jefferson to Utah and sign Darko to a four-year $20 million contract. Again, this deal happened on the very first day of free agency. And the Timberpoops were bidding against exactly...nobody.

The bottom line: We have four more years of Darko jokes!

So...did the Pistons waste the pick they used to get Darko? Everybody thinks so. Even Darko himself:

They did! No, they did waste a pick, you know. Why did they take me? Who knows if I really had a chance to play like these players that play like Dwyane Wade or Carmelo, those guys are incredible players. So for me, being a second pick, I don't get why they didn't play me at all and, secondly, they did waste, you know? Why did they take me? You should take someone that they really think was gonna play right away because just taking someone to sit on the bench, you waste a pick and you waste the guy's time. You wasted my time for three years not playing so you f**k up a player and you f**k up yourself, and I just didn't get it. So I just didn't get it. I guess they thought they were gonna be champions forever. I don't know.

Now that's one seriously bitter dude.

But he has a ring.

Update! Bonus video: Courtesy of Basketbawful reader jim, here's the instant-classic "Manna from Heaven" interview with David Kahn, where Chris Webber bristles when Kahn tries to compare his career to Darko's.

Labels: Darko, Worst NBA Champions

Seems only fair, right? After all, that's whatFerry did to both the Clippers and the Cavaliers.
With the second overall pick of the 1989 NBA Draft, the Los Angeles Clippers selected Danny Ferry.

Ferry had just finished a distinguished collegiate career at Duke University, during which he led the Blue Devils to the Final Four in 1986, 1988 and 1989. During his senior season at Duke, Ferry averaged 22.6 PPG, 7.4 RPG and 4.7 APG while shooting 52 percent from the field and 42 percent from three-point range. His gaudy statistics earned him a Shaqload of honors, including the Naismith College Player of the Year award, USBWA College Player of the Year (Oscar Robertson Trophy) award, and UPI Player of the Year award.

Due to his all-around skill set -- Danny became the first player in ACC history to amass 2,000+ points, 1,000+ rebounds and 500+ assists during his college career -- Ferry was tagged as The Next Larry Bird, which made him a no-brainer lottery pick.

And nobody does "no brains" quite like the Clippers.

So The Other L.A. Team went ahead and chose Ferry ahead of guys like Sean Elliot, Glen Rice, Tim Hardaway, Shawn Kemp, B.J. Armstrong, Vlade Divac, Cliff Robinson, etc. (Of course, it could have been worse. The Kings used the number one overall pick on Pervis "Out of Service" Ellison. Sorry, chris.)

There was only one problem: Ferry flat out refused to play for the Clippers.

Seriously, the Clips didn't have a chance. Ferry bolted for Europe and signed with the Italian league's Il Messaggero (later renamed Virtus Roma), leaving the Clippers' front office dumbstruck...as usual.

Of course, in retrospect, being rejected by Danny Ferry should make the (admittedly short) list of Great Moments in Clippers History, right behind Elton Brand leaving for Philadelphia.

Anyway, Italy was good to Ferry. He was bigger than the Beatles there. The people loved that pasty white dude. During his one-season stay in Europe's Boot, Ferry put up strong numbers (23 PPG and 6 RPG) and led Il Messaggero into the playoffs.

But the siren song of the NBA was still ringing in Ferry's ears. On November 16, 1989, the Cleveland Cavaliers obtained Ferry's draft rights (and Reggie Williams) in exchange for...

...get ready for it...

...Ron Harper (who was their leading scorer), two first-round draft picks and a second round draft pick. Believe it or not, it gets worse. The Cavs then signed Ferry to a 10-year guaranteed contract worth almost $40 million. Do yourself a favor and don't translate that into 2010 dollars, unless you want to spend the rest of your life hating your miserable life.

It would be ridiculously generous to say Ferry was a bust. During his rookie season, he wasn't exactly The Next Larry Bird. He wasn't a poor man's Larry Bird either. Hell, he wasn't even a homeless man's Larry Bird. Ferry was more of, let's say, a dead man's Larry Bird. He averaged 8.6 PPG, 3.5 RPG and 1.8 APG while shooting only 42 percent from the field and 29 percent on treys.

Ferry seemed lost on offense (Offensive Rating = 98) and overwhelmed on defense (Defensive Rating 110). The next season, he got hurt and actually regressed as a player (5.1 PPG, 40 percent shooting). The absolute apex of his career was during the 1995-96 season when he set career highs in MPG (32.7), PPG (13.3) and RPG (3.8). Unfortunately for the Cavaliers, Danny would never again put up such lofty numbers. And Cleveland was stuck with him, because every other NBA team recoiled from Ferry trade offers like the Cavs were trying to hand them a pile of rotting meat crawling with maggots.

After a full decade of horror, the Cavaliers let Ferry walk away in free agency. They probably would have chased him away with torches and pitchforks if they hadn't been choking on their own tears of hate and regret.

Stunningly, Ferry's career wasn't over. The Spurs signed him to a three-year deal that netted him another $6.5 million and a shot at glory. In all fairness, Ferry was a deadeye shooter off the bench for the Spurs. During the 2000-01 season -- his first in San Antonio -- Ferry ranked fifth in the league in three-point percentage (.449). The next season, he hit 43 percent of his threes (although he played only 50 games).

However, his last season with the Spurs was by far the worst of Ferry's career. He played only 9.4 MPG, averaging a mere 1.9 PPG on 35 percent shooting from both the field and downtown. His Offensive Rating was 90, his Defensive Rating was 104 (and remember that the Spurs were one of the best defensive teams of that era), and his Player Efficiency Rating was 5.1.

But his craptastic regular season had nothing on his postseason run crawl. During the 2003 NBA Playoffs, Ferry appeared in 16 games, logging 101 minutes and providing averages of 1.3 PPG, 1.4 RPG, 28% FGP (8-for-28) and 28% 3P% (4-for-14). He also had a team-low PER of 2.7. Rumor has it that when John Hollinger heard about this, he declared Ferry legally deceased.

In those 16 postseason games, Ferry went scoreless 12 times, assist-less 11 times, and rebound-less nine times. By the time the Spurs were in the NBA Finals against the New Jersey Nets -- easily the worst team San Antonio faced in he playoffs that year -- Gregg Popovich had lost whatever confidence he'd had in Ferry. To wit: Ferry appeared in only half of San Antonio's six Finals games, putting up three one trillions.

That's right: Danny Ferry averaged a trillion for the Finals. That was his entire contribution to the cause. (Make that non-contribution...a great, great moment in lacktion history.) But the Spurs won anyway and, just like that, Ferry was an (kill me) NBA champion.

Ferry's playing career was over, but he wasn't done screwing over bad teams. On June 27, 2005, he signed a five-year, $10 million deal to become the general manager of...the Cleveland Cavaliers. That means the Cavaliers ended up paying Ferry almost $50 million over 15 years. Twice! He fleeced them twice!

And remember: It was Ferry who assembled, disassembled and reassembled the various rosters that weren't quite good enough to help LeBron James win it all. Seriously, almost every deal Ferry made felt like an "OMG!! WE CAN'T LOSE LEBRON!!"-style panic move. Now LeBron is in Miami and Ferry left the Cavaliers after what I'm assuming was a not-so-gentle push out the door. Again.

But he has a ring.

Labels: Danny Ferry, Worst NBA Champions

Yesterday, an anonymous commenter said:

So far you're spot on with this series. But I'm curious...what are the criteria? I mean, every team, especially a really good team, has 12th, 13th, 14th men who aren't good and don't see any time in the playoffs. But most of them are just guys who practice and cheer. Rice and Rider were both 1) way more talented than those guys, and 2) willing to squander it/sulk/commit crimes etc.

So do the people in this series have to be talented guys who ended up with a ring despite throwing most of that talent away, or just any sad sack who happened to be on the team?

To me, the bums and scrubs at the end of a title team's bench don't qualify as a "Worst NBA Champion." A WNC is (usually) one of the following:

1. A talented but selfish player who becomes a cancer and/or actively works against team goals, or puts his own welfare ahead of winning a title.

2. A talented (or formerly talented) player who does not (or cannot) live up to expectations and cannot (or does not) actively contribute to winning a title.

3. Someone who is actively piggybacking his way to a title.

Hopefully, this clears things up for you. Now, onto today's post.

I'm a Mitch Richmond fan.

No, really. I am. In 1988-89, Richmond won Rookie of the Year as a member of Don Nelson's Golden State Warriors. With the Warriors, he was the "M" of "Run TMC", a high-scoring trio made up of Richmond, Tim Hardaway and Chris Mullin.

They were a devastating offensive combination. Hardaway was the playmaker and the leader of Nellie's fastbreaking attack. Richmond was the slasher and basket attacker. Mullin was the lights out shooter. Unfortunately, none of them played any defense.

I guess that's why the Warriors traded Richmond to the Sacramento Kings in return for Billy Owens. Of course, that trade didn't make a ton of sense back then, and it makes even less now. But hey, I'm not an NBA general manager.

Back then -- much like today -- being sent to Sacramento was like having your career sentenced to a slow but violent death. For seven long years, Richmond was stuck on some truly lousy Kings teams. But Mitch deserves some mad freaking props: the dude flat out killed himself for that team. He never quit or became a locker room cancer.

Instead of becoming a huge, fluttering asshole and demanding trades or attacking his front office like some two guards I could mention, Richmond just went about his business of being awesome. He was an All-Star for six straight seasons, even winning the All-Star MVP award in 1994-95. He made the All-NBA Second or Third Team five times. He became a deadeye three-point shooter, ranking 7th in the league in 1993-94 (.407), 9th in 1995-96 (.437) and 5th in 1996-97 (.428).

And, of course, Richmond was a certified scoring machine. He was a top 10 scorer for seven seasons. Mitch finished with a career scoring average of 21.0 PPG, which ranks 38th in league history. His 20,497 career points rank him 34th all-time.

Richmond played hurt. He played hard. And, considering his less-than-optimal circumstances, he played with relatively few complaints. But his suffering didn't end with the Kings. No, Mitch got shipped to Washington (along with Otis Thorp) for Chris Webber. And while Richmond languished in Washington for three agonizing seasons, he had to watch C-Webb transform his old team into a championship contender.

God, that had to suck.

But on July 20, 2001, it looked as though Richmond's luck had finally changed. That's the day on which he signed a $1 million free agent contract to play for the reigning champion Los Angeles Lakers (a deal made possible only because the Wizards agreed to buy out his contract for $10 million). Here's what Lakers GM Mitch Kupchak had to say about signing Richmond:

"Mitch has been one of the best guards in the NBA over the past 13 years. He's not only a great scorer and solid defender, but also a top-notch professional in the locker room and off the court as well. He should fit in perfectly with our team and we're thrilled that he's a Laker."

Yeah. The Lakers were so thrilled about Mitch that he appeared in only 64 games, logging 11.1 MPG and averaging 4.1 PPG. He reached double figures only five times, scoring a season high 13 points in a win over the Denver Nuggets.

Like Glen Rice and Isaiah Rider before him, Richmond just didn't fit in the triangle offense. Frankly, he had spent way too many years as a lone gunman on bad teams. Unlike Rice and Rider, Mitch wasn't a divisive force or an off-the-court distraction. But he was bummed out. How could he not have been? Over the last two months of the season, he played only 50 minutes. His ass was shining a fine polish onto the Lakers' bench.

As L.A. made their annual playoff run, all Richmond could do was watch. Hell, even when Kobe Bryant was all sickly from a bad room service cheeseburger during Game 2 of the Western Conference Semifinals, Mitch still didn't get into the game. That's when he almost cracked.

Said Richmond:

"I know I still can do it. If I get the opportunity, I'll try to help the team. But I can't sit up here and lie to you and say it's not difficult to sit over there and not be a part of it, knowing that I can contribute.

"I've been analyzing a lot over there, sitting on the bench. I look at (Devean) George, a guy that really didn't get an opportunity to play this year. George is kind of playing the minutes I was playing last year, and year in and year out. No one, I don't think anyone thought he could really help the team. And when he got 20 to 23 minutes a game, you see that he can perform and he's doing more than an adequate job.

"I haven't [asked Phil Jackson for more minutes]. Do I feel comfortable about it? No, I think in this situation, in the playoffs, I don't want to put any added burden on him, or myself. I haven't went to him. I haven't said anything about 'I want to get out there.' I hope he knows that."

Jackson knew:

"I couldn't be happier with the group of guys that I have. We have Mitch Richmond on our team, that is an elder statesman, a comedic kind of value that he brings to the team. He's got a great sense of humor and he knows a role, even though he'd love to be out there playing like he was 10 years ago, five years ago."

Yeah, Jackson knew...but that didn't change his mind about leaving Richmond on the bench. For the most part. Richmond logged fewer playoff minutes (4) than fucking Slava Medvedenko (21) and Mark Madsen (10). Mitch did make a token, three-minute appearance in Game 5 of the Western Conference Finals...a 92-91 loss to the Kings in Sacramento. Nothing like a little humiliation in your old kingdom. Richmond must have felt like a dog having his nose rubbed in his own urine.

Richmond didn't make another appearance in those playoffs until the final minute of the Lakers' four-game sweep of the New Jersey Nets. Richmond made the most of that minute, scoring two points (see his fadeaway baseline jumper at the 3:40 mark of this video) and dribbling out the clock en route to his first and only NBA championship (watch him do it at the 4:00 mark of the same video).

Did Richmond deserve a title after all those thankless years of busting his butt for dreadful teams in Sacramento and Washington. Sure...I guess. But honestly, to someone like me, who spent the 1990s rooting for the guy, his final accomplishment as an NBA player felt like just another humiliation in a career full of them. Richmond didn't want to piggyback his way to a title. He wanted to help earn it. Sadly, that just wasn't in the cards.

But he has a ring.

Labels: Mitch Richmond, Worst NBA Champions