Wild Yams reminded me of this little brouhaha in the TNT studio last night. I added it to Worst of the Night, but it really deserved its own post. As Mr. Yams put it: "Chuck's second big gaffe of the night was saying that this Lakers team is the best one Kobe's ever been on, although him saying that was totally worth it for Webber's fantastic reaction of wanting to walk off the set in disbelief. I love how Barkley shoots from the hip like that and doesn't think through the things he's about to say, because every now and then he'll let fly with a Bill Walton-esque bit of hyperbole like that. God bless Barkley."

God bless Barkley, indeed. And Webber's awestruck reaction really was the best; it even succeeded in getting Chuck to back down and revise his statement to: "Let me rephrase that. I think this Laker team is potentially, they could win a lot of championships in the next couple years. That maybe is the way I should have phrased it." Yeah. Maybe so.

As Ernie Johnson put it: "Rick Fox, rolling over in his grave." Here's the video.


Update! I was just over at basketball-reference.com trying to decide which Shaq-Kobe Lakers team would have kicked this year's Kobe-Gasol team's ass the hardest...but Mr. Yams beat me to the punch. "Seriously though, what the hell was Barkley saying, thinking that this Lakers team is better than some of those Shaq-led ones. The 2001 Lakers swept the 50-win Blazers in the 1st round, swept the 55-win Kings in the 2nd round and swept the 58-win Spurs (including wins by 39 & 29 in Games 3 & 4) in the WCF, before losing one OT game en route to a five-game victory over the 56-win Sixers (with 3 of those wins coming in Philly) for the title. You're gonna tell me that this current Laker team is better than that one?"

Yup. That's the team I would have picked too. They may have "only" won 56 games, but Kobe missed 14 games and Shaq missed 8. You could probably point to the 67-win team from 2000 too -- you know, "The Glen Rice Team"* -- but Kobe wasn't nearly as good as he would become the very next season.

*That was the year when Glen Rice decided that 12.3 shots per game wasn't good enough, even though he got the chance to play with Shaq and Kobe and win a championship. The next season, he was in New York getting 10 shots per game, winning 48 games, and getting knocked out of the playoffs in the first round by the Toronto Raptors. Good call, Glen. A few seasons later, Rice finished up his career by playing 18 games for the Los Angeles Clippers. Sometimes Karma really is a bitch.

Labels: Charles Barkley, Chris Webber, Ernie Johnson, Kenny "The Jet" Smith, Kobe Bryant, TNT

Sure, Samaritan's Feet is a great cause. And seeing the NBA show support to underprivileged children in war-torn countries is a noble gesture. But did someone ask Charles Barkley to paint his toenails? Honestly?

Picturing Chuck at home with a bottle of L'Oreal to while gossiping on the phone with Dwayne Wade and watching "Golden Girls" reruns is the most frightening mental image I've had in at least an hour.

Labels: Charles Barkley, gaydar, TNT

Charles Barkley learned an important lesson over All-Star Weekend: Stop making fun of the suit Karl Malone wore to the 1985 NBA Draft. Or else.


This little episode ranked somewhere between Dwight Howard's Superman Dunk and Reggie Miller's use of the word "titty" in my list of Favorite Moments from the 2008 All-Star Weekend. The lesson we can take from all this is: When Karl Malone demands an apology, you apologize, no questions asked. In fact, it's probably best to never say anything that would ever offend him.

Labels: All-Star Game, Apology, Charles Barkley, Karl Malone, TNT

Miami Heat: How best to sum up Miami's latest loss (which dropped them 10 games below .500)? Well, for starters, Chris Quinn (??) was their leading scorer with a career-high 22 points. Shaq was limited to 26 minutes due first to foul trouble and then to plain old ineffectiveness as the Heat played better using a small lineup (i.e., without him). The newly crowned MDE (Most Decrepit Ever) finished with 7 points, 6 rebounds, 1 assist, and three turnovers. Dwyane Wade continues to prove that he isn't back to 100 percent after returning from shoulder and knee injuries. And worse, he's trying too hard to do too much, as evidenced by his season-high 8 turnovers. It's the ninth time in the 15 games he's played this season that Wade has had at least 5 turnovers. And let's not overlook Jason Williams, who contributed zero points (0-3), 1 rebound, and 2 assists in 14 Eric Snow-like minutes. Have we mentioned the Heat's embarrassing lack of depth? Daequan Cook came off the bench to play 10 mintues and all he could manage was zero points (0-1) and 2 personal fouls. Seriously, it's getting to the point where reading through a Miami Heat box score is like perusing the obituaries. Actually, I have more fun reading obituaries, but maybe that's just me. Speaking of grave, the Heat are now 2-7 at home, the second worst road record (to the Timberwolves) in the league. Have we mentioned these guys are just a couple seasons removed from an NBA championship?

Fun fact: Wade's career-high in turnovers is 12. It happened on February 1, 2007, in a 92-89 win over the Cavaliers. Of course, at least he scored 41 points (thanks in part to his 25 FTAs) and led the Heat to a victory in that game.

Dominic McGuire: As bad as the Heat were -- and they were very, very bad -- I still noticed that Washington's rookie guard notched a one trillion last night. Congratulations, Dominic! But I suppose we shouldn't expect that much from a second-round draft pick with a career-high of 2 points. And hey, he scored as many points as Jason Williams and Daequan Cook, and those guys actually got some PT.

Shaq: Okay, I can't let this go. I've brought this up several times over the last couple years, but the Big Washed Up once promised us that he would retire if he was ever "only as good as David Robinson." Well, I'd absolutely and without question take the end-of-his-career David Robinson over today's Shaq. At least The Admiral was still a sturdy rebounder and (more importantly) a defensive presence. And he could stay on the floor more than 20 minutes a game. Moreover, Robinson was able to understand that his skills were declining and accepted a lesser role for the betterment of his team. Shaq, on the other hand, thinks the Heat's problems would be solved if he was getting 20 shots a game. Yet when you watch the Heat consistently make runs with a smaller, faster, more defensively-oriented lineup, it becomes clear that's just not true. In fact, the question doesn't even seem to be whether Shaq should be getting more shots, but whether he should be starting or backing up Alonzo Mourning. The Diesel has officially entered into the "Washington Wizards Michael Jordan" phase of his career; he's no longer even close to what he once was, but he can't accept it, and yet for some strange reason nobody feels completely comfortable in writing him or his team off. Speaking of which...

Fun fact: Tomorrow is the five-year anniversary of the night Michael Jordan matched his career-low with 2 points (1-9) in Washington's 95-82 win over a terrible, Vince Carter-less Raptors team.

Tony Parker: Sprained ankle? Sprained ankle?! Yeah, I kinda don't think so.

Los Angeles Lakers: Their game log for this season will forever show a win against the world champs, which will look impressive to the untrained eye. But what I saw last night was a Lakers squad that struggled mightily at home to finish off a Spurs team that was missing its two best players (Tim Duncan and Tony Parker) and suffering through an off night for its third best player: Manu Ginobili shot 5-17, including 1-7 from three-point range, and committed a season-high 7 turnovers. Of course, that was in part because the officials let the Lakers grab his arms and push him around. But whatever. The fact is, LA almost let Bruce Bowen's offense -- yes, his offense -- beat them. Suffice to say, I'm not impressed. I predict a classic revenge game for the Warriors when the Lakers travel to Golden State tonight.

Andrew Bynum: Bynum earned himself double technicals and an ejection for popping Fabricio Oberto in the face with an elbow. And it didn't happen in the heat of action; it happened during a dead ball situation while Oberto was making his way downcourt. What made the situation even more pathetic was how Bynum raised his hands after the fact to make it look like he didn't actually intend to hit Oberto, then actually complained about getting teched up (which earned him a second technical). And of course Kobe had to stick his nose into it, running downcourt to argue with the the ref. And of course Phil Jackson, ever the smug one, commented to the sideline reporter between the third and fourth quarters that the officials had evened things out between the two teams (since Duncan and Parker were out) by kicking Bynum out of the game. See, these are perfect examples of why it's so easy to hate the Lakers.

Matt Bonner: He followed up a 25-point, 17-rebound game with zero points (0-2) and 3 rebounds in 15 minutes against the Lakers. I guess he's back to being a poor man's Brian Scalabrine.

Ruban Patterson: The man once known as "The Kobe Stopper" (by himself at least) was waived yesterday. By the Clippers (8-13). Patterson, who was coming off a "career year" (14.7 PPG and 5.4 RPG), was the Clippers' big free agent acquisition last summer, and the Clips were freaking excited about it. Vice President of Basketball Operations Elgin Balyor said: "We are thrilled to add Ruben to our team. Ruben plays hard every single night. He is an aggressive defensive player and has a real enthusiasm for the game. He gives 100 percent every game." The gushing continued when head coach Mike Dunleavy said: "I am really excited by our signing of Ruben Patterson. He is a great competitor. I have always admired the intensity he brings from game to game. His versatility will help improve our team." Apparently, all of that changed in the brief span of 21 games. So...what? Patterson wasn't giving 100 percent every game? He doesn't play aggressive defense anymore? He's no longer intense and enthusiastic? How about this: He was statistically unproductive in the 16 minutes per night that Dunleavy felt safe giving him. The fact is, Patterson is the prototypical Intangible Man. If the Clippers had a healthy Elton Brand and Shaun Livingston, a quality role player like Patterson would be a perfect fit. But right now the Clippers are searching for answers...and a guy who can contribute in the kind of ways you can actually see on a stat sheet.

Labels: Andrew Bynum, Bruce Bowen, Los Angeles Lakers, Manu Ginobili, Miami Heat, Ruben Patterson, San Antonio Spurs, Shaq, TNT, Tony Parker, Worst of the Night