Basketbawful

Friday, December 23, 2011

Bawful After Dark: Christmas Weekend Watch

I'm so glad I already did this photoshop last year for another unrelated post

Welcome to the start of the NBA season! (About damn time, grumble grumble).

But more importantly, Merry freaking Christmas fellow Bawfulites: GREG OSTERTAG COMEBACK!!! He and Ricky Davis have both signed D-League contracts and after clearing waivers Tuesday afternoon will be picked up by teams. If the prospect of seeing professional basketball once again played by these guys -- a ridiculous 38 year old white stiff with a Fred Flintstone tattoo, and the guy who shot at his own basket trying to fradulently get a triple double -- doesn't give you goosebumps, what the hell are you doing reading this blog?

Also, to continue my Christmas tradition for this post, knock an hour and a half out of your schedule once you're done here and go watch Mystery Science Theater 3000's Santa Claus episode. Try not to sing along to Santa Klaws' epic The Warrior of Christmas song. I dare you.

"It's a thoughtful, well-shot documentary about the Crimean war." "It's a stupid Mexican kids movie!!"
Worst of the Lockout in Pictures:

...yeah.
Christmas Day Games:

Celtics at Knicks, TNT, 12:00pm: Well, Paul Pierce is listed as "doubtful" for this game. By comparison, the rest of the team (except for Rajon Rondo) is just listed as "old."

Heat at Mavericks, ABC, 2:30pm: Bawful and I are both severely dismayed to see Shane Battier sign with the Heat. My memory is a little fuzzy, but we may have just exchanged text messages saying "NOOOOOO" for twenty minutes when we learned the news. However, he is a game-time decision for this Finals rematch. A certainty, however? Eddy Curry is ruled out. I'm pretty sure he was ruled out of this game five or six years in advance even though he didn't play for the Heat at the time. (Well, wait a second. That was poor wording. He doesn't even play for the Heat now. He's just on their roster filling up space. Lots and lots of it.)

Bulls at Lakers, ABC, 5:00pm: Everyone's all up in arms about Kobe's wrist injury. But come on, what about the real story? MATT BARNES is pissed, you guys!

Magic at Thunder, ESPN, 8:00pm: Stan Van Gundy is already having to lash out in press conferences in preseason games at reporters questioning if Dwight Howard is quitting on his team since they did not follow through with his trade request. How long until his head explodes Scanners style? Meanwhile, the Thunder may be the team to beat in the Western Conference. No joke here. Just a statement.

Clippers at Warriors, 10:30pm: LOB CITY! Chauncey Billups' gonna be throwin' up the rock and DeAndre Jordan's gonna be throwin' it down! (What? Who did you think I was talking about?)

Labels: Bawful After Dark, Greg Ostertag, Merry Christmas everybody, MST3K references, Ricky Davis

Thursday, November 04, 2010

Bawful After Dark: November 4, 2010

By Dan B. at 3:45 PM

24 comments

Vinsanity! What a laugh! This picture made me think of only one thing:

Well, it's official: NBA Elite 11 has been canceled by EA Sports. Apparently the demo full of hook shots from anywhere on the floor and Andrew Bynum "looking like Jesus" were just too much for EA to compete with NBA 2K11 and it's friggin' sweet Jordan modes. Understandable. EA has handed off the NBA Elite franchise to its Tiburon division that handles the Madden franchise. Great. Now we can look forward to it continuing to not improve for years to come!

Speaking of bad ideas, Philly is tearing down The Spectrum, and for $25 fans can go in for three hours and take whatever isn't bolted down. Perhaps if we're lucky only a few dozen people will be trampled/killed by flying batteries/mauled by evil Flyers fans in this would-be Thunderdome. This is almost as bad an idea as Bacon Soda (h/t JE Skeets). Well, actually, wait a second. I like bacon. I like soda. Maybe bacon soda would actually be good? No, wait, it has to be bad. But it's fried pig in liquid form!. (It's just a little liquified. It's still good! It's still good!) Oh damn it all, I'm so conflicted.

Also per Deadspin, Colin Cowherd is a douchebag.

You need to take a peek at this delightfully random Tumblr page: Bread People. Here's an example:

This is the Internet for you
And this has absolutely nothing to do with basketball (well, aside from it being almost as ugly as Sam Cassell), but this is too awesome not to share: close-up photos of the comet Hartley 2.

Worst of the Night in Pictures:

Caption this!
What is Vinny Del Negro doing?

Olé!

"Damnit Tony, what's so funny???"

Ladies and gentlemen, John Kuester, head coach of the Detroit Pissed-Ons. (Thank you for that name, JJ)

Wow... Somehow this is even sadder than a Sad Bench photo

A pictorial summary of the Nyets-Bobcats game

The player/coach relationship is a very, um, intimate one

Hey, Blake, please never make that face again. Thanks. Sincerely, Everybody.

"Ohh, this beatdown we're putting on the Craptors, it's sooo cold..."

Okay, serious question, didn't the NBA mandate that Stan Van Gundy had to wear a tie this year?

"No, I don't want to touch it!"
(h/t ZooTiger)

Nationally Televised Games:
Knicks at Bulls, TNT, 8pm: Fun stats of the day: Amar'''e has scored more than 20 points just once this season. Also, the Bricks are on a 2-17 stretch in games at Chicago. But hey, at least it isn't raining asbestos! Moral victories, folks.

Thunder at Trail Blazers, TNT, 10:30pm: Pro Tip: Shooting better than 39.3% from the field for the season may help you win more basketball games, Oklahoma City.

Labels: Alex English Muffin, Bawful After Dark, MST3K references, NBA 2K11 FTW, Vince Carter

contact: basketbawful@yahoo.com