It’s Friday, and my fiancé is out with her friends having ladies night. I sit here alone with my laptop, the TV, and about a 2/3rds bottle of Jack Daniels Tennessee Honey. We’ve got a pair of game 3’s tonight. The Bulls take on the Heat, and then the Warriors face the Spurs. If Glenn doesn’t mind, I think I’ll try my hand at this play by play commentary thing. All evening I plan on transferring my thoughts and reactions straight from my brain and into my computer. Analysis and rapid reactions. Totally unfiltered. Ready? Here we go…
- OH MY GOD! Mike Breen’s head is enormous!
- Joey Crawford is reffing tonight’s game. Someone will be ejected.
- Jeff Van Gundy makes note that none of the opposing players are shaking hands before tipoff. Someone will be ejected.
- Miami has two turnovers in less than two minutes. 4-0 Chicago.
- Are the fans chanting “These refs suck.” While Belinelli, their own player, is at the free throw line?
- Haslem hits his second mid range jumper to tie the game 10-10.
- Boozer barely draws iron on a jumper, but Noah gets the rebound and flips it right back to him. He then two hand slams it in Bosh’s face.
- Nate Robinson drives and kicks to a cutting Noah for an easy dunk. 16-14 Chicago.
- Chalmers shoulder fakes Boozer on a drive and lays it in for an and-1.
- Lebron is getting booed every time he touches the ball.
- Joey Crawford calls Jimmy Butler for his second foul because…I mean it’s the King. How dare you attempt to play defense on him?
- Robinson loses the ball while driving to the rim. Runs back to get it. Then splashes the mid range shot.
- And here we go. Nate blows by Lebron and gets to the rim. Birdman meets him in the air and blocks his shot. Birdman then lands on Nate. Not on purpose or anything, he just had nowhere to land. Noah aggressively shoves Birdman off of Nate to help him up. A mini scrum ensues along the baseline and players are separated.
- Noah is hit with his 1st technical. A stupid one at that.
- First quarter ends tied 25-25.
- Norris Cole hits a jumper off the dribble while being fouled by Marcus “Not Jeff” Teague.
- You know that French guy from the movie Leon: The Professional. Marco Belinelli looks like him.
- Fight! Fight! Fight!
- Nazr Mohammed for some reason fouls Lebron as he tries to wrap him up at half court. Lebron then throws Mohammed to the ground. (Damn I knew Lebron was strong and all, but geez!) Mohammed gets off the floor and shoves Lebron to the ground.
- I called it. Nazr Mohammed is ejected.
- Belinelli nails a three. 34-28 Chicago. Miami timeout.
- Wade being covered by Belinelli. He’ll probably murder him.
- Wade hits a turnaround jumper over Bellinelli.
- Rip Hamilton looks bored.
- Bosh does what he does best and hits another mid range shot. 41-38 Chicago.
- Belinelli gets the ball in the open court and it’s him vs. Lebron on a “fast” break. Poor Marco is running on all cylinders trying to get to the rim as Lebron casually jogs up the floor. He then elevates for the dunk and but back rims it. Probably shouldn’t have tried to cock it back, Marco.
- Bosh with a tip in to bring Miami within 3. 48-45 Chicago.
- Battier ties the game with a corner 3. Timeout Chicago.
- Halftime 52-50 Miami. Dwyane Wade has attempted just one shot. He’s currently leading both teams in not giving a damn.
- Wade scores on Belinelli again in the post. He can get that all night it he wanted to.
- Butler banks in a prayer while being covered by Lebron as the shot clock buzzer goes off.
- Boozer is yelling at the refs after every play he’s involved in. Tech coming at some point tonight.
- Nate Robinson launches a shot from about 3 feet beyond the arc. Bulls lead 61-60.
- Butler gets a steal and goes coast to coast for a lay in. 63-60 Chicago.
- Belinelli flops 3 times and still gets a foul called on him. I love this guy.
- Bosh is tearing into Chalmers over their last turnover. It’s like watching an old married couple. Guess which one is the woman.
- Noah stands by clapping and cheering them on. I love this guy.
- Bosh jab steps on Noah and splashes a jumper in his face. 68-66 Chicago.
- Nate Robinson just blocked Lebron’s layup attempt. Amazing. Naturally he flexes afterwards.
- Lebron ties the game 69-69 with a corner thee.
- 70-70 tie game.
- Fun Fact: Ray Allen once said of Chris Andersen, “It’s all one tattoo.”
- Butler drives scores for an and-1. He gives the Bulls the 1 point lead.
- Bosh is ballin tonight. He hits a corner three.
- Birdman banks in a shot while falling down to put Miami up 79-75.
- Taj Gibson literally pulls and rips Norris Cole’s jersey to prevent him from getting an easy lay-up.
- Miami leads 83-78 after a Wade dunk. Belinelli CAN’T guard him. Not only does he have 5 fouls, but he’s Belinelli. Why aren’t they exploiting this matchup?
- Bosh with 17 points and a career playoff high 16 rebounds so far. Ballin.
- Norris Cole drives and scores on Nate. 15 points for him so far.
- Miami up 88-83 as every Bulls fan in the United Center shifts uncomfortably in their seats.
- Lebron swishes a deep three to put Miami up 93-86.
- Dagger? Norris Cole hits a three to put Miami up by eight.
- Battier fouls out by trying to take a charge on Jimmy Butler.
- Lebron drives for an and-1. He gives a hard “YEAH!!!” right in two fans faces. They’re mad.
- Belinelli fouls out after bumping Lebron as he goes for a rebound.
- Miami wins 104-94
- Curry gets on a fast break and makes a three in transition. The only other guys who can do that with confidence are Chauncey Billups and sometimes Jason Terry.
- Bogut puts in a tip in dunk and tries to wrap his legs around Duncan. Timmy responds but giving Bogut a little forearm shove as they run up the floor. Duncan gets hit with a tech.
- Curry almost hits Bogut in the face with a pass. He wrangles it in and hits a short hook shot. Game tied 8-8.
Curry vs. Duncan on a jumpball.
- Curry effortlessly hits a corner three to put the Warriors up 15-14. Timeout Spurs.
- Duncan hits his patented bank shot from the block.
- Bogut crams it on Diaw’s head. 21-16 Golden State.
- Draymond Green is getting way too many touches. He’s shot the ball 3 times already and Thompson still hasn’t put one up yet.
- Ime Udoka is a Spurs assistant? I had no idea. (Huh? No one really cares? Oh ok.)
- Parker with a three. 25-21 Spurs.
- After Diaw makes a three, Hubie Brown chimes in with, “Anytime you used to play point guard you know you can shoot the three…” *shrugs shoulders*
- Parker flips up a ridiculous, almost back handed shot that only he can make while falling down. And-1.
Jarrett Jack nails a three at the buzzer to bring the score to 32-25 San Antonio.
- ESPN flashes some type of sound meter up on the screen. (It got up to 110.)
- Jack’s basket is waived off. The ball was still in his hands after time had expired.
- David Lee sighting. He grabs a rebound and lays it back in for an and-1.
- Sound meter again. (108 this time)
- Non basketball note: I’m watching a preview for Fast and the Furious 6. How did we get all the way to Fast and the Furious 6? C’mon Hollywood. You guys need to do better. Who’s watching this crap? How and when did The Rock get involved? Ugh…
- Parker crosses Thompson out of his shorts and hits an open jumper.
- Spurs go up by 10 after Parker lays it in over Bogut. 42-32.
- Parker is on fire. Makes a floater and he’s already got 21 points.
- Curry with an air ball.
- Jarrett Jack spins Diaw around with a crossover and swishes a shot.
- Harrison Barnes throws down a one handed tomahawk off of a nice cut to the rim. 51-45 Spurs.
- Ginobili gives Ezeli a flying knee to the stomach as he tries to drive to the hoop. Offensive foul.
- Parker with 25 first half points.
- 57-48 San Antonio.
- Thompson has awakened. He’s 2-2 to start the quarter.
- Duncan with a turnaround jumper to put the Spurs up 59-54.
- Bogut slams a wide open alley-oop from Landry. For someone so brittle he sure is a good dunker.
- Parker with a scoop lay in over Bogut.
- Klay Thompson thinks he’s Curry (or Billups) and tries a transition three. Doesn’t turn out so well however.
Sound meter thingy again after a Curry layup. (Only 105 this time. Lets step it up Warriors fans)
- Bogut gets his 4th foul after a B.S. call. Clearly a clean block on Duncan.
- Curry ties the game at 65 with an open three.
- Duncan going to work on Ezeli. The Spurs will probably take advantage of the rookie.
- Ginobili with a three point play after he’s fouled by Barnes. 73-65
Ginobili with a three.
- 79-69 San Antonio.
- Tiago Splitter has permanent dumb face.
- Bogut swats Duncan’s shot as he drives to the rim.
- Duncan then fouls Dreymond Green in the act of shooting for an and-1.
- 10:06 left in the 4th qtr and we get our first Tim-Duncan-palms-up-I-didn’t-commit-that-foul-in-fact-I’ve-actually-never committed-a-foul-look.
- Parker with a three. 85-78 Spurs. Damn he’s good.
- Duncan with a fall away shot and gets fouled in the process. And-1.
- Bogut with 5 fouls.
- Spurs up by 11 as Leonard drives baseline for the layup.
- We knew it couldn’t last long. Curry comes up hobbling after rolling his ankle. This guy needs to start wearing combat boots or something.
- Duncan gets switched onto Harrison Barnes. Barnes drills a 15 footer. 93-88 Spurs.
- Jarrett Jack with a turnover. I think I hear a rather large woman singing off in the distance.
- Hubie Brown refers to Golden State as “Garden State”. I love this guy.
- 102-92 Spurs win.