You knew this picture was coming

Are you ready to watch teams either get their hopes and dreams jacked up unrealistically high? Want to see which teams get the first stab at blowing a first round lottery pick? We're one step closer. The NBA Draft Lottery is tomorrow night on ESPN! It's just about the only thing the Nyets fans have keeping them alive at this point.

Speaking of crappy teams, here's a little news on the Purple Paupers: Sacramento has replaced sideline reporter Kayte Christensen with Jim Gray. (It's okay, Chris! Put away the razor blade! We can work through this!) I particularly liked this one comment on the article: "How the mighty have fallen. He was interviewing Mike Tyson after fighting Lennox Lewis, now he’s working 20 home games for the Kings. Tough times for Jim Gray."

Quick basebawful aside. Keith Hernandez' mustache wants to talk smack about your fantasy team. (h/t Jonah Keri)

Oh, and by the way: this. High comedy.

Worst of the Weekend in Pictures:

"Hey! There goes my fashion sense! Someone go catch it! It's over there!"

"Your winner, by unanimous decision... Kevin Garnett!"
(This is ten times funnier when you read it in your best Michael Buffer voice)

Dude In Black Jersey always wondered why Dude In
Yellow Jersey's nickname was Handy J. Now it all makes sense!
(Submitted by Basketbawful reader Donnie Hutchens)

All The Games:
Suns at Lakers - TNT, 9:00pm
Series tied 0-0

Kobe's had to get his knee drained, and the Cycloptic Canadian Assassin continues to heal. It's a battle of attrition! You know what that means! Yes, I can almost hear Bynum's knee exploding from here.

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Anonymous Heretic said...
To quote Newman, "Keith Hernandez! I despise that man!"

Blogger Will said...
I remember Jim Gray for 2 things: asking Pete Rose about cheating on baseball and crying after the Pacers-Piston fans brawl.

Blogger Mr. Too Nice Guy said...
I can already tell the referees are going to ruin this Lakers-Suns series. I'd rather have the Thunderdome rules all the time if it means I don't have to see Kobe flop all over himself to draw a "shooting" foul again, even if it means more players get injured.

Anonymous Heretic said...
Holy shit, Sasha is getting some minutes. The Vujachicks must be in a tizzy right now.

Anonymous koroviev said...
golden Phil Jackson Face at Vujasic's stupid three-point foul

Blogger Wild Yams said...
What an ass-kicking. I told you guys the Lakers were going to have a cakewalk to The Finals. LA is too big and they led the league in 3-pt defense this year. Phoenix is a dream matchup for LA, and this is why I said back in December that LA should blow them out every time the teams play. Phoenix might get a game where they have a really lucky shooting effort, but LA is just a really horrible matchup for Phoenix.

I was glad to see Boston take advantage of Orlando's rust yesterday. Hopefully the Celtics can pull that series out in 6, setting up a Lakers-Celtics rematch with LA having home court this time. I like LA's chances after having back to back easy rounds against Utah and Phoenix.

Anonymous Heretic said...
Yeesh. Well the suns got obliterated. The first half was just feeling each there out. The second half was just an execution. The laker bigs played more volley ball then Maverick and Goose and just destroyed them.

The thing is the Suns weren't playing awful, sure the threes weren't falling but that's because most of the threes were contested. The suns were simply out played. What was most surprising was that the Lakers had a better 3 point percentage than the suns.

The game wasn't exciting with the exception of Kobe going Black Mamba on them and Shanon Brown attempting to go all Cable Guy on Richardson:


Fast forward to 1:43.

The game felt like the Lakers didn't play as hard as they had to in the first half and then actually made a conscious decision to go full steam ahead. I liked the fact that Phil Jackson left the starters in at the beginning of the 4th to rip out the sun's hearts.

Is it me or is Bynum a liability out on the floor? I guess hes nice as a threat but the moment you feed him the ball he can't maneuver that well.

Although Sasha got some minutes I'm glad Phil wouldn't even put him in at garbage time after he made a junior varsity team mistake by fouling Hill with 0.6 seconds remaining. I hope he drowns in his hair gel.

Blogger Unknown said...
Heretic: You're not alone, Bynum is more of a liability than an asset when he's not top-game. He can be dominant when he's playing well, but he can quickly get himself a couple fouls and put up some awkward forced shots that hurt them.

The Suns did play well, but the Lakers just steamrolled them. Grant got hit with a technical he shouldn't have, but other than that, it was a pretty clean game.

What I like about the Suns is that they're all a bunch of good guys. There aren't any thugs or punks or anything like that. I just don't think they have much of a chance in this series, especially if Odom has more monster games like tonight's.

Blogger Unknown said...
The game wasn't exciting with the exception of Kobe going Black Mamba on them

Also, I love how whenever there's a question about Kobe's health going into a game, some people are like "Watch Mamba jack up fifty shot just to prove he's 'the man'" and when he does so and has a bad game, they high five each other over it. Yet when he goes crazy and has a great game, it's silence. It must be some pretty chewy crow they're occupied with. That's six 30+ point games in a row.

WV: defier
Speaks for itself

Blogger Wild Yams said...
I asked this question last week when Phoenix beat the Spurs and I'll ask it again: who on the Suns exactly is supposed to guard Kobe, Gasol, or Odom? I also asked who was supposed to guard Bynum, but if he's this limited he doesn't need a defender to stop him; but the other three guys are total mismatches for the Suns. I guess they could try to put Amar'e on Odom, but then what, Lopez on Gasol? And who's gonna guard Kobe?

That's just on that end of the court though. Phoenix's main weapon is the 3-pt shot, and LA is the best team in the league at guarding against that. Plus the Suns are the 2nd worst team in the league in defensive rebounds and LA is huge on the offensive glass. I just don't see how the Suns have a prayer in this series, outside of the inevitable game where they just get really lucky from outside. If that never happens it'll be a sweep, but otherwise the Lakers will wrap it up in five.

Anonymous hansel said...
You tricked me Suns, you tricked me into thinking you could play defense. I feel violated that i entertained such a thought!

Blogger triplewgf said...
If I remember correctly, right after that, the guy in black punched the other guy out.

Blogger David Landon said...
My favorite thing about Jim Gray is when he was working for NBC, and after the game he would find the largest, angriest member of the losing team and ask them questions deliberately designed to enrage them.

Blogger elefes said...
People may be grasping at straws to explain why the golden boy of basketball's performance in the playoffs was epic fail, but still, we can all laugh at this. Or vomit. But mostly I'm laughing.


Anonymous imbalisk said...
holy crap. a philippine college basketball game makes it to bawful?

Funny thing is those two guys were High school teammates. They must go waaaaay back (and yes, yellow jersey guys' name starts with "J")

i love you more now basketbawful

Blogger AnacondaHL said...
Yams: "And who's gonna guard Kobe?"

Scott Foster.

Just take Dudley out with two quick bad fouls, and Grant with a couple more, and don't call Kobe fouls or traveling. Lakers steamroll ahoy.

Blogger Cortez said...
"I guess they could try to put Amar'e on Odom..."


You're joking, right?

Anonymous Anonymous said...
Since reading this site i've started noticing all the whiny little things Carter does. This has made watching him funner for me, so thank you.