If you're a hardcore fan of Basketbawful, or even a softcore fan (sometimes, I'm just in the mood for softcore - wait, what are we talking about?), you've undoubtedly said to yourself, "Self, it would really be awesome to have a more direct mode of access to the inner workings of Basketbawful." Or, based on the commentary of most fans, this inner monologue more likely manifested itself as "Stop dissin' Kobe, you Celtics-humping Laker haters...boy, a podcast would be friggin' cool... not that I even give a crap, because I hate this site, but it would be cool."

Well, we at Basketbawful agree.

Basketbawful Productions, in conjunction with Evil Ted, proudly presents the first Basketbawful Audio podcast.

Listen as Evil Ted tries to sound savvy and knowledgable in the face Basketbawful's gaudy basketball IQ... Laugh as Basketbawful discusses the absurd circumstances that would allow the Lakers to lose to the Jazz, or the Magic to lose to the Sixers... Live in a world when you can actually hear first hand the nerdy insight of what before you could only consume on a 2-dimensional page...Love that you can download us to your iPod and take in amusing sports commentary that is way too explicit for ESPN Radio while you, I don't know, jog in the park, ride the train to work, have sex with your wife/girlfriend, take a bath...

...OK, maybe I'm overselling this, but it's pretty cool nonetheless.

UPDATE: I'm learning which podcast sites are good, and which suck ass. So go to the link below to download the mp3 from a file sharing site:



Anonymous Shrugz said...
boooooooooo can't listen to it at work blocked

Blogger Evil Ted said...
Sorry Shrugz,

Try the download option:


Anonymous Axel Foley said...
I hate podcasts but that wasnt bad. Heres the thing, i hate basketball alot right now. So obviously i had some issues with the predictions. I want all hell to break loose in the playoffs so im going to mail Stern a letter asking him for a Blazers/Heat finals and in it i will include a bag of gold and hopefully my wish will come true.

Blogger chris said...
Axel Foley: Now you understand how I felt about the Clippers' playoff run a few years ago. Would've been uber-sweet to see that team, of all the mismanaged organizations in Association history, make it to the Finals.

Alas, they choked the 3-2 series lead.

Anonymous hellshocked said...
Nice job, guys. This was an awesome addition. The combination of porn music and your soothing voices really set the mood from the start and all the talk of nipples, bodyhair and anal probes made sure it stayed all the way to the end.

In all fairness to Dirk, he came through in the clutch semi consistently throughout the Mavs' entire playoff run the year they got to the finals, at least until David Stern and Dwayne Wade donkey punched him in game three. MVP award or no he hasn't been the same player his.

I also agree 100% that Kevin Durant would not have been a better choice for Portland than Oden. Durant is very talented but he's a volume shooter who needs the ball in his hands an awful lot. He couldn't have coexisted with Brandon Roy, Travis Outlaw, Rudy Fernandez et all and been as effective. Even if Oden peaks as a 15-10-2 guy Portland didn't whiff on the pick.

Anonymous Baal said...
not trying to pick on you, but we as germans still talk about how dirk nowitzki hit a game winner against spain (yes, THAT WORLD CHAMPIONCHIP SPAIN...)and the last time dallas beat san antonio in a game that mattered to the spurs, dirk had like a 50 point game and an overtimeforcing 3 point play... i know, this all seems like it happened years ago, but you could trust dirk in clutch situations... twice...

Blogger AnacondaHL said...
"...they discovered the Higgs boson..."

Oh Bawful, you're so dreamy, that rich smooth voice of yours :swoon:

Anonymous AK Dave said...

Agreed on all points. Portland needed a center, they got a center. You can't second-guess that decision based on what we know about GO's knees now; at the time everyone and their brother would have taken GO over Durant. And Durant would have demanded too many shots, which would have stunted the growth of Brandon Roy, who just keeps getting better and proving his critics wrong.

So, does Portland get out of the 1st round vs. Houston with home court advantage?

Honestly, I'd like to see Portland advance, but deep inside, I kind of want Houston to win a round without Knee-Mac just to make his failure complete and prove that he was the problem all along. Yeah, that's right AnacondaHL- das ist Schadenfreude!

Blogger Shiv said...
@ Hellshocked:

One of the my personal favourite what-ifs is, what if Jordan had been drafted by the Blazers? The prevailing wisdom said that the two wouldn't have been able to coexist, but Jordan and Pippen did. Maybe it was an anomaly, but imagine Drexler playing Pippen's role. You might be looking at 8 championships instead of 6.

And yeah I know these are big what ifs, but imagine Durant instead of Outlaw spotting up for a Roy drive-and-dish. We might have been looking at a legitimate championship contender.

Blogger Wild Yams said...
This is fantastic. I think you were probably right about the Blazers-Rockets series, in that Houston could win if Artest reverts to being the defensive player he was (and can avoid jacking up every bad shot there is), but I think you might be wrong about the Nuggets-Hornets series and the Mavs-Spurs series. I think that Chris Paul is gonna have some problems with Chauncey Billups because Billups, like Deron Williams, is a big strong PG that's gonna be hard for Paul to defend. Also, Denver's depth I think is going to be a huge advantage in this series. I know you took the Nuggets to win, and I agree, but I think they're gonna do it in less than 7, maybe even in 5.

As for the Mavs-Spurs, yes it is The Spurs, but let's not forget that Dallas is no stranger to playing San Antonio in the playoffs, and even beat them in 2006, winning Game 7 in San Antonio. Dallas has more weapons right now and they're playing a lot better lately. It'll be a tough fought battle, but I'm going with Dallas in 6.

A few additional notes: I love the So I Married An Axe Murder quote, and that was maybe the greatest sign-off ever, ET :)

Anonymous Shrugz said...
HA Sweet that works
thanks eh

Blogger Cortez said...
"I kind of want Houston to win a round without Knee-Mac just to make his failure complete and prove that he was the problem all along. "

Nuh-uh, you're wrong Colonel Sanders!

Even the advance stats clearly tell you that T-Wac is a better clutch player than even Kobe Bryant!

Blogger Wild Yams said...
Funny story about Jordan and the Blazers not drafting him: supposedly Bobby Knight talked to the Blazer brass to tell them they should take Jordan instead of Bowie, to which the Blazers said they already had Drexler and instead needed a center. Bobby Knight's response was "Then draft Jordan and play him at center."

Mr. Bawful, I do have to say that I think it's far too soon to say for sure whether Durant is absolutely a volume shooter who has to have the ball in his hands. He's that guy for the awful team he's on right now, but it's too early to proclaim him a taller version of Allen Iverson. Oden doesn't even start for the Blazers, and if you ask any impartial non-Blazer fanatics they'd say that Oden's impact is negligible at best (Bill Simmons pointed out that his rookie numbers compare unfavorably to even Stanley Roberts' rookie numbers). Meanwhile Portland has a French teenager starting at the 3. I daresay they'd be a much better team with Durant than they are with Oden. Also, is there anyone else on the Blazers who really seems like the kind of player who needs a lot of touches to be successful? Even Brandon Roy almost seems more like a point guard than a shooting guard.

I know you're down on Durant (and there are some questionable things there, like his team's record with him and without him), but IMO the guy is a physical freak almost in the same way LeBron James is. A guy with that size, that length, that athletic ability and with such a good outside shot you just can't find anywhere else. If he does figure out how to become more efficient on offense and how to better involve his teammates, he's going to be incredibly scary. He could be like Kevin Garnett's body with Kobe's mentality. Yikes.

Blogger Buck Nasty said...
I think this is the most excited I've been about this site, and that's saying something. These podcasts could be the future of Bawful. Guests could make appearances over the phone. Other things could happen!

This must be like what Bill Walton feels inside when he thinks about the days of Bird and McHale....why that reminds me of the time Chief, McHale and I.....blather blather blather.......

Blogger Buck Nasty said...
By the way, Larry Izzo? Try again guys.

Anonymous hellshocked said...
Yams: I don't think Durant is a KG/Crab athletic freak type. He is very, very long and a very, very good shooter who can get his shot off at any time but he doesn't have a remarkably quick first step and has trouble taking it to the rim consistently. I see him more as a rich man's Glenn Robinson, or a black, young Dirk.

No one on Portland is a ball hog (except for Travis Outlaw) but they already have (or had at the time of the draft) a very good shooter in Martell Webster who fits their playing style. Roy is so effective because he has the ball in his hands a lot and creates for others and himself. I think having Durant might have added unnecessary friction and forced a restructuring of the team. I'm really not sure he would have added all that much: he can't play defense, he isn't particularly adept at getting to the rim and he's not a particularly strong rebounder. His many, many strengths aren't exactly glaring Portland needs.He could still become a genuine superstar but the reason he has developed as he has is because the entire team has been built around him and he has been allowed to do anything he pleases on the court. He wouldn't have been able to do that in Portland.

Even today I wouldn't pick him over Oden, and I realize just how clumnsy, tired and ineffective he has looked. Now if two seasons from now Oden's athleticism hasn't returned and he still has the post game of Rafael Araujo, I will concede Durant would have been a better pick.

Anonymous kazam92 said...
I'd say easily the X factor of the heat hawks series is Michael Beasley. Miami sports media is in an uproar over his playing time/starting. There's a lot of stuff going around that he'll be playing SF which is retarded. He's put up 24 11 his last 5 games albeit some of those numbers were against scrubs (and the knicks)

the thing Erik Spolstra made a mistake of was not realizing that beasley matured well enough after the all-star break to warrant more playing time. A string of injuries led him to start and he just looked amazing those last few games. The only reason Udonis Haslem (who has driven me mad all year with his feast or famine jumpshot) is starting is because of loyalty at this point. In the beginning of the season Beasley should have never started, but earned that role as he improved. The reverse happened.

Mark my words. Watch out for this kid

Anonymous Anonymous said...
heeelp...wont work for me. when i try streaming it, it says error opening file. when i try downloading it i get a 4kb file that doesnt play anything

Anonymous Anonymous said...
What the hell happened to it? I was looking forward to listening to this when I got home from work and now it's down?

Anonymous DKH said...
The Durant/Oden comparison is also difficult because there's nothing to say that Durant wouldn't have developed differently on the Blazers. Maybe on a team with a more defensive mindset, and with less pressure on him to handle the ball and be the offense, he develops more defensively.

That said, I don't think the Blazers drafted badly. They made their choice and it seems to be working for them so far. I mean, Oden's rebounding percentage is great. If he can improve his foul rate and develop normally otherwise, I think things will work out well. He's certainly no Kwame Brown.

Great ! Please another podcast for the second round until the nba finals.

The end is priceless : "if you're chewing it and it's not, gum be prepared to swallow it".

Anonymous GonzoPal said...
Enyoying this blog for 2 years now, finally the first podcast is here... Great job! Takin over the world, step by step ;)

Blogger Evil Ted said...
Glad people enjoyed the podcast. Bawful and I will try to do a show for each round.

Apologies for the podcast issue. I'm still looking for the best site. An alternate location is now posted.


Anonymous James said...
Good job on the podcast guys, hope we get more of that in the future.

Blogger NBA Troll said...
Durant has been a very efficient scorer this season. His fg% is .476and 3pt% is .422. For a jump shooter, that's quite impressive. He's also taking the ball towards the basket with more aggression this season. His rebounding numbers improved a lot from his rookie year.

As far as his team's record without him, I don't think it proves that Durant isn't worthy of the superstar title. Young teams like OKC are inconsistent. They just happened to hit an upswing when Durant went down. With Durant, the Thunder defeated the Spurs twice this season.

Blogger chris said...
"I could be Bill Walker." Priceless. Ya mean that either of you two could become the next Tarence or Jake or Mario in the waiting, with a little practice?!

Anonymous Karc said...
I'm sure there will be many more examples, but ESPN/ABC's coverage thus far has been terrible. Most notably, the OT game with Bulls/Celtics in a blatant attempt by ESPN to pull viewers away from ABC. Last time I checked, aren't they the same network? At the end of the 1st quarter in the Cleveland game, they show a split-screen of the Boston game, with Chicago about to inbound with the game tied in OT and 26 seconds left. Right as Tyrus Thomas puts up the shot, they cut to commercial. Then, instead of updating the game back from break, they cut to a pre-taped interview with the Detroit head coach, then make no mention of the game until Mike Breen casually acknowledges it five minutes later. Then, of course, Mark Jackson and Jeff Van Gundy spend half the quarter talking about the game that everyone without cable did not see. I'm pretty sure that CBS (who seamless switched between NCAA tournament games) and NBC (who would have stayed with the OT game, then go to the Cleveland game) would not let this take place.

Anonymous ak dave said...
Bulls win game 1.



I can't wait to hear how Chicago got lucky and it took a miracle game from Rose and a stinker from Allen and blah blah blah it's a long series blah.

Chicago came out and out-hustled them all game, outran them all game, out-defended them all game (Hinrich had another open-court steal that lead to a fast-break basket on one of the league's superstars, Paul Pierce), owned the paint, and won a game they were supposed to lose on the road.

Boston better win the next game, and they better figure out something besides "feed the ball inside to Glen Davis" or else they're screwed.

On a very rare side note: thumbs up to the referees in game 1, not calling BS touch-fouls, not calling the flagrant when Noah was fouled hard, allowing these teams to play playoff basketball, and calling it both ways. I feel like the refs were not the focus of the game, and for the NBA, that is rare and worthy of mention. I can't believe I'm saying this, but my hat is off to the referees.

Anonymous ak dave said...
Thanks for updating the podcast- finally got to hear it

And you sorta called the Bulls win... in a roundabout, cover-all-bases, ambiguous sort of way. I think you said "either they win one game at home or they surprise Boston in game 1" so, like, good "call" and stuff :D

Really though, enjoyable podcast, good humor, especially wrt Jermain O'Neil

Anonymous tabman said...
1st time poster, long time reader.

as a mavs fan, i have to say i feel dirk has an unfair reputation as "un-clutch." those clutch stats you cite, by definition, have a very small sample size and fluctuate greatly.

case in point, dirk's clutch stats for this season have already risen to 40.6%:


while that may seem nothing to write home about, it's not that different from other players who are generally considered to be more clutch than dirk, such as ginobli (39.6%, granted he was hobbled most of the year, but still) and joe johnson (36.5%).

Last year dirk shot 42.2% in the clutch, which was not far off kobe's mark of 44.8% or carmelo's 42.0% and way above d wade's (who is supposed to be super clutch) 32.1% (granted, he was hobbled last year). meanwhile ginobli was a league leader last year, shooting 57.4%. i think his drop off this year is not simply a reflection of his injury, but more so the fluctuating nature of clutch stats in general:


for game-winning shots between 2004 and halfway through the 2009 season, dirk's percentage (32.4%) is similar to lebron's (34.0%) and better than kobe's (25.0%) and d wade's (27.5%):


when it comes to the playoffs, dirk has arguably been one of the clutchest performers in the league between 2004 and 2008, hitting 3 game-winners, second only to kobe and lebron. moreover, he shot 50% (3 of 6) from the field on these shots, as did kobe and lebron (4 of 8 each):


so give dirk his due, he's as clutch as some of the best players in the league. and he does it while being a 7-foot power forward without the benefit of being able to create his own shot as well as those other guys can.

Anonymous Test said...
Hello, I really like your funny blog. Thought you will be interested in this little video from Lithuanian Slam Dunk Contest 2007. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Kdti-80nIQ

Paulius Parachomikas performs two unusual dunks - perfect basketball lacktion :)

I did not find your e-mail so wrote it down here

Anonymous kazam92 said...
I agree with tabman. Dirk has always hit big shots. He just doesn't win a lot of those games. the 06 finals he hit some major major shots

Anonymous Baal said...
just read this on NBA.com and it may be the worst stat curse ever...in 2003 the then "he wasn't even called knee Mac" being up 3-1 against the pistons told a reporter how good it felt to "finally be in the second round." after an hour of rolling over the floor I'm finally able to write this to you (allthough you probably already know...)but hey, like I said in my american history lessons "yes, I'm German, but don't blame it on me"

Anonymous Karc said...
ESPN/ABC Fail 2 - Sometime late in the Cavs/Pistons game, Mike Breen calls Mark Jackson Jeff Van Gundy, to which JVG replies, "Yeah, because we look so alike." Breen has no choice but to put on the palmface.

ESPN/ABC Fail 3 - Before the start of the 4th quarter, Lisa Salters interviews Phil Jackson. And it's strange that she's about the same height. Of course Phil Jackson makes the quip that she's grown up quite a bit since the last game they did on ABC. Now, everyone knows at this point that she's using a stand, but did the camera man have to really pan out and show how high the stand really was? Nice ESPN, for making your number one sideline reporter look like a fool.

Blogger lordhenry said...
I'm glad I've been reading "by the horns" this year so I know the names of all the bulls players not named Derrick Rose, especially when they upset the C's in game 1. Lebron better watch out, if the Celts fend off this hungry young bulls team, they will become stronger, even if KG can't come back. Nothing like a hard fought series to galvanize the remaining components of your team. And mark my words, that whole "rick roll" thing the cavs have been doing to people, that's gonna bite them on the ass, just like Kobe's premature "big Balls" dances this season. Well, I hope it bites the Cavs, cuz that Rick Roll shit is one the most unsportsmanlike things I've ever seen a team do in the NBA. And it's not like the finger wag, that's just dikembe doing it to one guy. This is AN ENTIRE TEAM dancing, mocking, in a coordinated fashion. Makes me sick, cuz Lebron is seen by a lot of kids, he's a role model. Disgusting.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
the nuggets-hornets game is really shaping up to be quite flop-tastic...almost to ginobili or even vlade divac-esque proportions

there was a horrible (i cant think of a good word, but the exact opposite of epic) double flop where cp3 and 'melo ran into each other and right away both hit the floor. it was hilarious and yet face palm worthy all at the same time.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
maybe shaq was right about van gundy...blowing a 14 pt lead in the 4th is pretty bad (and historic - largest 4th quarter comeback in playoff history)

Blogger Wild Yams said...
Coming back from 14 points down in the 4th quarter isn't the biggest 4th quarter comeback in playoff history. Maybe you mean on the road? Unless I'm mistaken, the largest 4th quarter deficit that a team has ever overcome to win in the playoffs was by Boston over the Nets back in 2002, when the Celtics came back from being down by 21 in the 4th quarter and won.

That Nuggets-Hornets series is gonna be a good one, you can tell. Those are two teams who really have chips on their shoulders and who you can tell already dislike each other a lot. That was an extremely chippy game for a Game 1 last night. It's gonna be interesting to see how that all plays out. I'm sticking with my above prediction that the Nuggets win that series in 6 or fewer games, and I'm sticking with my above prediction of Mavs in 6 as well. Portland better step up tomorrow or just like JVG says, they're gonna get swept.

Blogger chris said...
Wild Yams: I think that beer bottle being thrown on the court late in a blowout speaks for itself. Though I couldn't help but think of "Ron-Ron, 2004" as Marv and the rest of the broadcast team tried (and succeeded) at refusing to mention the Auburn Hills brawl!

Blogger Wild Yams said...
I really wouldn't be surprised if there's some kind of fight in this Nuggets-Hornets series. I wondered yesterday if it wasn't part of New Orleans' strategy to really try to bring out the 'thuggish' side of Denver to try to get them off their game plan. If so it's an interesting ploy. There are definitely a couple players for Denver who would seem to be possible to bait into getting out of their team's gameplan through a bunch of nonsense, and Chris Paul is a master instigator. That's where Chauncey Billups' presence is so crucial for Denver. Not only did he come out and set the tone early on last night, but I think he really does keep all those guys in check.

I wonder if we're gonna see Paul and Billups do much of guarding each other in this series.

Blogger chris said...
Wild Yams: So, how would the chippiness have played out if Not-Answer was still on the team, instead of a Finals MVP?

Other than the fact the Nuggets probably would have played worse and thus not have had home court advantage, either...

Blogger Wild Yams said...
I think if AI was still in Denver they might be sitting out the postseason while LA opened against Phoenix instead of Utah.

Anonymous AK Dave said...
Nuggs-Horns is IMO the most intriguing series out there, along with Bulls-Celts.

I think you could make a case for the Nuggets having one of the strongest benches in the league. JR Smith, Kleiza, Anderson (that hair is ricockulous) all are NBA starting caliber players. JR Smith can light you up, Kleiza is a good scoring option and can rebound well, and Anderson continues to impress with his tenacity, rebounding, blocks, and overall defensive presence. It seemed like Denver owned the paint, especially with the Birdman swatting shots in the lane (3 blocks and I don't know how many shots redirected or intimidated- the guy is playing out of his mind right now). You just wonder where the points are going to come from on the New Orleans side? CP3 can't do it all every night, and besides West (who seems to have returned to Earth since his ridiculous season last year), you just don't see a lot of offensive threats on their team.

Bulls-Celts tonight; I can't wait. If Chicago wins again, it's game over, man... game over.

Anonymous AK Dave said...

It's funny how one guy can change the whole team, isn't it? Billups came over to Denver, and now all of a sudden they are poised, disciplined, willing to play defense, patient on offense, able to run 1/2-court sets, and basically a legit playoff contender.

Meanwhile Detroit went from "expected to make the conference finals" to "first round fodder".

I'm happy for Chauncey- he is a great player and he has single-handedly and fundamentally changed that entire team and organization. As a PG, he has no flaws; he can shoot, pass, take over games or defer to teammates, bullies smaller guards, harasses larger ones, and no matter who is guarding him, it always seems to be a mismatch in his favor. I think back to that season they won the title and without Chauncey, they wouldn't have beaten the Pacers, but he was just that much better than Indiana's guards. I think the success Denver is having goes a long way toward proving his worth as a player.

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