Basketbawful reader Evon, a denizen of Portland, received a jolt of stunnedocity when he discovered the following advertisement in his Sunday paper.
I think I speak for everyone who follows the NBA when I say that I too am excited to see how Dan's upcoming season goes with his "new eyes." Although eight-year veterans who are six feet small and have a career average of 5.8 PPG don't usually have breakout years, even if their "new eyes" shoot laser beams.
On the one hand, it seems like a waste to use an unknown journeyman to advertise your eye correction business, but it's actually sort of a stroke of brilliance. Instead of spending their entire marketing budget on, say, Greg Oden, the good people at Clearly Lasik can spend $50 on Dan's endorsement and the rest of their cash on inventing those cool laser-blasting eyes I was talking about. One day, in the not-to-distant future, I may be able to have 20/20 vision
and fight crime.
(I'm kidding of course. I would use my amazing ocular powers for evil.)
Labels: Dan Dickau, fan submissions, Lasik surgery
And laser vision in the NBA would rawk. You'd have at least a full season before the rules committee could outlaw it, and by that time you've probably already melted the corneas of most the opposing defenders.
(PS, yes ET, that was a zing)
Also this is PG4L but stupid Google isn't accepting my password and I'm tired of logging in to type pithy insults under my own name. Seriously this software has lost my password twice now. UN-Impressed.
Here:
http://www.channingfrye.com/blog/?p=92
Scary stuff.
Anyways, the slide had a photo of Dickau playing in a game on the left, and the company's information on the right, and Dickau's voice was heard, with the exact same quote in the ad.
He maybe a bum in the league but he would show up to any gym we play at and dominate without any issue what...so...ever, period.
The only risk in using him is the inherent stupidity that is rampant throughout the U.S. of A. whereas it is entirely possible that someone would dismiss the vision of an eight year NBA vet as a non issue.
"Didn't Lebron get this done and still can't hit a free throw to save his life"
That's because L. James is primarily a gifted athlete and a basketball player second.
But seriously, I'm sure he didn't have vision that poor in both eyes, but only one. I have pretty good vision in one eye, but the other is totally screwed up. Getting the poor one corrected (and the good one improved?) could significantly improve depth perception.
And no, no more hand-wringing about how awful those gay advocates are. No more losing my posts either, I hope. >_<
Dan Dickau for MVP / MIP / 6th Man!!!
(Remember, you heard it here first)
I'd call it the "PacmanJonesChrisAndersonDanDickau Story"
or "Make it Rain"
Whichever.