Jim Mora: A real man of genius. This is required viewing for the rant that will follow:


Last night, I was happily watching the Pistons/Mavs game when the announcers (Mark Jones and Jon Barry I think?) must have decided that the game was too boring. So instead of discussing, say, why the Pistons failed to leave Walter Herrmann on Dirk Nowitzki -- that one's for you, Al -- they started talking about the upcoming Eastern Conference playoffs. These men seemed certain that the Pistons will be the East's second seed, and that they will be facing the Celtics in the Conference Finals. Talk about going out on a limb. They then went out of their way to assure the viewers that Detroit is very capable of winning big games on the road in the playoffs, even against really good teams. To prove their point, they cited Piston wins in Game 7 against the Heat and Game 6 against the Spurs...during the 2005 playoffs.

They somehow, rather conveniently I might add, forgot to mention how Detroit choked away critical home games over the last couple seasons. Those games include:

1. Game 5 of the 2006 Eastern Conference Semifinals (against the Cavs).

2. Game 1 of the 2006 Eastern Conference Finals (against the Heat).

3. Game 5 of the 2007 Eastern Conference Semifinals (against the Bulls).

4. Game 5 of the 2007 Eastern Conference Finals (against the Cavs).

So yes, while the Pistons have indeed shown that they can win big playoff road games -- three (against the Heat and Spurs) or four (against the Pacers and Lakers) years ago, they've also shown a tendency to lose focus (as well as games) both at home and on the road.

But that's all beside the point.

It's January, people. I don't need or want the playoffs set up for me right now. They're four freaking months away!

But it didn't stop there. ESPN's in-studio analysts (Greg Anthony and Tim Legler?) declared the Lakers to be the second-best team in the Western Conference, and further stated -- rather unequivocally -- that there was "no way" the Suns could beat the Lakers in a seven-game series. They then predicted a Lakers/Spurs matchup in the Western Conference Finals (with the Lakers losing).

Well hey, that's great, guys. I'm glad I don't need to follow the rest of the regular season or anything. Can I cancel NBA League Pass? Maybe I can demand a refund too. I mean, all this basketball is totally superflous anyway. Let's just go ahead and fast forward to the inevitable Pistons/Spurs Finals. Wait, on second thought, let's not.

Here's a little wakeup call to NBA analysts: The two hottest teams in the league this time last year (the Mavericks and Suns) got knocked out in the first and second rounds, respectively. And the Lakers started out pretty strong last season, before injuries and ennui led them straight into the snapping jaws of a first-round beatdown.

So please, remember that it's only January, and don't talk to me about playoffs.

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7 Comments:
Blogger Unknown said...
I remember watching that rant on TV when it was happening... My pop, who has been a lifelong Colts fan instantly called me up and was like "You're watching this... right? There is no way I'm imagining this, is there?"

But it didn't stop there. ESPN's in-studio analysts (Greg Anthony and Tim Legler?) declared the Lakers to be the second-best team in the Western Conference, and further stated -- rather unequivocally -- that there was "no way" the Suns could beat the Lakers in a seven-game series. They then predicted a Lakers/Spurs matchup in the Western Conference Finals (with the Lakers losing).

Greg and Tim need to take it down a couple notches. Its been 7 years since the Lakers knocked the Suns out of the playoffs, and I dont see Shaq anywhere near LA right now.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
DAMN STRAIGHT!!
thank you for saying what most people should be thinking

Anonymous Anonymous said...
That's exactly what I was thinking. These jackasses or talking about seeding and standings and who would have homecourt right now. I'm like, WTF?? Most teams have like 47+ games left. Good grief....

Anonymous Anonymous said...
One more thing: Stephen Jackson was guarding Lamarcus Aldridge.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
i absolutely cant stand watching espn telecasts with the sound on - so for the most part the homers get muted while i blast the sexy vibes of kenny g to my hd nba coverage

oh, and according to van gundy (the one that's not the love child of ron jeremy and mario) and mark jackson, the lakers have two franchise players (kobe & bynum) and are a solid playoff contender. umm.... WHAT?!?

i bet field trips for the ESPN offices are comprised of short buses & helmets with a menu of franks & beans. inking a deal with ABC/ESPN was the worst thing david stern's done during his tenure as commish...

Blogger gregsgourmet said...
You know what I just noticed? Jamaal Tinsley has missed his last 20 three point attempts. 0-fer-20!!!

Anonymous Anonymous said...
We talkin' bout PLAYOFFS?!