The one on the right is Kobe. Trustme, it makes sense. Sort of.
I don't know how to put this but I'm kind of a big deal. People know me. I'm very important. I have many leather-bound books and my apartment smells of rich mahogany.
What am I talking about, you ask? Well, starting today -- and lasting until they pry it from my cold, dead hands -- I will be writing the NBA Closer
column for Deadspin
. (No, seriously, here's my first column
This isn't going to be easy, since I'm following in the footsteps of J.E. Skeets from The Basketball Jones
, and that crazy bastard moonwalks everywhere. And it'll mean less time flying around Chicago and protecting the city in my nuclear-powered robot suit, but this is about something much bigger than fighting crime. It's about me
But never fear. I will continue to provide the same low-grade fart jokes and penis humor to which you are accustomed. And just to alleviate any fears that my work here may start to suffer under the increased workload, I promise to start hating Kobe three percent more than ever. That's a money back guarantee, folks.
Now go over to Deadspin. Read my stuff. Comment on it. Praise it. Then buy a bunch of cool stuff and send it to me.
Labels: announcements, Deadspin, NBA Closer