If you've been sitting around thinking, "I'd like a 13-inch action figure that looks like Charles Barkley's mildly retarded twin brother," then this eBay auction is for you. This "unique collecting opportunity" can be yours for the low Buy It Now price of $5.99 (plus shipping and handling). But just in case you're still saving up for those plyometric jumpsoles, there are some upsides and downsides to consider before you waste the money that could be used to boost your vertical leap by an amazing 5 to 10 inches:

The downsides: The action figure is dressed in a Houston Rockets uniform instead of the classic Philly or Phoenix uniforms that Sir Charles wore during his better years. Oddly enough, it's not as fat as the Houston-era Barkley. In fact, it's strangely muscular, has a neck like a giraffe, and now that I think about it, the figure looks more like Roadblock from G.I. Joe than Charles Barkley. So unless your goal is to defeat the forces of COBRA, you might be a little disappointed.

The upsides: You can relive all those classic Barkley moments from his time with the Houston Rockets, like the first-round playoff exits, the time Scottie Pippen complained about his "fat butt," and of course the career-ending quadriceps tendon injury. And since the uniform is removable, you can undress him and -- assuming you have a grandfather figure of a similar size -- recreate the night of passion that followed his All-Star Game makeout session with Dick Bavetta.

chuck fig 1


chuck fig 2

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2 Comments:
Anonymous Josh said...
Would it disturb everyone greatly if I admitted I had that, and a Shaq one, both still in their boxes, collecting dust in my basement?

Blogger Basketbawful said...
"Would it disturb everyone greatly if I admitted I had that, and a Shaq one, both still in their boxes, collecting dust in my basement?"

Uhm, yes.

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