Enter Charles Barkley. He started off by delivering an long-overdue egoectomy to referee Dick Bavetta, destroying the health nut in a footrace and sealing the improbable victory with a kiss. And not just the "Magic 'n Zeke awkward-goodbye-after-the-first-date" peck on the cheek, but a full fledged "I just did three years in the county and I will hump the first thing I see" kiss on the goddamn mouth. I cringed watching this. I can't imagine how his 40-year old son and his teenage grandson must have felt.
"Yes, son, that is your granddad..being kissed on the motherf***ing mouth by a 400-pound Milk Dud."
Barkleymania has seen such a comeback that fanboy Chef Boyardee is making his own home-brewed sequel to Chuck's Super Nintendo game "Shut Up and Jam". But it's much more ambitious than just another ordinary basketball game. It's a freakin' Final Fantasy-style role-playing game based on Sir Charles traveling into the future to fight a post-apocalyptic basketball genocide that could lead to the very end of civilization. I am not making this up.