The latest installment of Kobegate is embarrassing for pretty much everybody in Lakerland, but especially for the team's septuagenarian* owner, Jerry Buss. Kobe hates Mitch Kupchak, Kobe wants Jerry West back, Kobe wants to be traded, Kobe doesn't want to be traded, Kobe feels betrayed by the organization, Kobe deserves better, Kobe needs to shut up...Kobe, Kobe, Kobe!!

*Latin for "wrinkly old dude."

Buss apparently was so sick and tired of the whole situation that he got liquored up and then went for a drive through streets of Carlsbad. Going the wrong way. Cops finally pulled him over -- Buss didn't immediately respond -- and he (surprise!!) failed a sobriety test.

Jeannana M. Flores, a 23-year-old escort woman from New York City, was also in the car with Buss. I'm sure she's just a dear family friend and not some skanky chick Buss was going to nail in the back seat have intimate relations with. No, seriously.

In case you're worried about Jerry's mental state and the effect it'll have on his future driving safety, don't. "Although I was driving only a short distance, it was a bad decision and I was wrong to do it," Buss said in a totally made-up statement issued by the Lakers. "It was a mistake I will not make again."

Jerry and ho
They're just friends, you perv.

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Blogger Evil Ted said...
Dear Basketbawful, I am totally in your corner on most issues, but if that's judgement of Buss's dating life I hear, me thinks thou hast gone too far. I, for one, only hope that I possess enough money and power to lure and/or pay for a hard body chiquita when I am a wrinkly old dude.

Hell, the only thing that old people can cling to nowadays is the hope that they will have accumulated enough status and greenbacks over their lifetime to afford the oral services of the young.

When I look at that photo, I don't think "Jerry Buss is a perv." I think "The children are our future, in various different and wonderful ways."

And for those of you "ready-to-be-offended-at-the-drop-of-a-hat" people, I only mean "children" of legal age...You're not gonna catch me that way; I've seen To Catch a Predator. DAMN YOU, CHRIS HANSEN!

Anonymous John said...
His Impact on the team has been evident since Mr Buss 'retired' to fight for his health.
Thank you, Dr Buss, your 'jersey' needs to hang with the rest of the Great Lakers.