Maybe this is old news, maybe not. But apparently North Korean leader Kim Jong-il is a big-time NBA fan. So big, in fact, that during a diplomatic summit in 2000, former Secretary of State Madeleine Albright presented Jong-il with a basketball autographed by Michael Jordan.

This, in turn, eventually led to a mildly amusing spoof-ercial by David Zucker, the man who gave us Airplane!, the Naked Gun films, and (unfortunately) Scary Movie 4. The Republican Party hired Zucker to create the ad to show how Democrats are directly responsible for terrorists blowing up buildings and developing nuclear weaponry. The clip shows Jong-il getting the Jordan-signed ball, which leads directly to North Korea launching nukes and, of course, to Jong-il himself developing Jordan's own superhuman (and possibly Satanic) basketball prowess. Then Albright is shown painting Bin Laden's caves, changing the tires on terrorist cars, and so on. Ha, ha, ha...ha...h...

Apparently, the Republicans decided this was too Lex Luthor-ish even by their "We'd happily torture live kittens and then frame Bill Clinton for it" standards. Therefore, the clip got yanked...but ended up where every other never-before-seen video goes to come back to life: YouTube. Amazingly, YouTube also yanked the flick for as-yet unknown reasons. Well, unknown to anyone but the unconstitutional spy networks our president established to illegally strip us of our right to privacy. Zucker went on to say some totally lame things about how the Democrats have caused all the world's problems by being nice to our enemies, conveniently overlooking the fact that the terrorist attacks, wars, and nukes all happened during Bush's presidency. But why get bogged down on facts when you can create funny propaganda. Only it's kind of missing the "funny" part. Except seeing a little Korean dictator slam dunk. That's always funny. Like monkeys. And midgets. And men dressed up as women. And farts. Heh. I said farts.

Kim Jong-il Trivia: According to Wikipedia, Jong-il is "an avid fan of the Friday The 13th series and Rambo among others." This is astonishing to me. Not that Jong-il likes crappy movies; I'm a big F13 fan myself. What's amazing is that he loves the NBA, and bad cinema, but he doesn't list Kazaam, Steel, or Blue Chips among his favorite movies. This means that even Kim Jong-il won't touch Shaq's movies. That's pretty bad.

I'm also surprised that Jong-il likes Rambo. Didn't Rambo go in and kick North Korea's ass a couple times all by himself? I don't get it. Maybe Jong-il think Rambo is a comedy. Which, now that I think of it, is probably true of just about everybody except Sylvester Stallone.

Still, I think Albright had the right idea but the wrong gift. Instead of giving Jong-il a autographed basketball, we should give him Rambo and Jason Voorhees. I'm pretty sure those two guys (well, guy and zombie killer thingie) would take care of this nuke problem, and fast. And wouldn't that make a great movie?

JRK
Jason and Rambo vs. Kim: Coming soon to a World War III near you...
5 Comments:
Blogger Reel Fanatic said...
I had no idea that good old Kim was such a fan of Rambo .. he's becoming more and more like the crazy way he was presented in "Team America" each day!

Anonymous Jack said...
And today IS Friday the 13th. Weird.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
Rambo was never in North Korea but rather in Vietnam and later in Afghanistan. But hey, I guess everything in Asia is the same to you.

Blogger Basketbawful said...
Rambo was never in North Korea but rather in Vietnam and later in Afghanistan. But hey, I guess everything in Asia is the same to you.

No, no, no. You're only half right. Everything in Asia isn't the same to me. Everything in the Rambo movies is the same to me. A minor, but very important difference.

Blogger T1 said...
This post will always be one of my favorites of all time.

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