Basketbawful

Tuesday, September 26, 2006

In another journalistic "non-news" coup, we now know Michael Jordan loves watching the Ryder Cup. We also know that "after attending his first Ryder Cup in Spain in 1997, he vowed never to miss another one." And since Michael Jordan is a man who takes his vows seriously -- except when it comes to retiring and un-retiring and retiring again -- you'd better believe he was in attendence this year.

"I absolutely love the Ryder Cup" Jordan said. "I love that it's not about the money. It's about the team. There's tension on every putt, every shot."

And there you have it: a man who demanded $30 million in salary for each of his last two seasons (this being before the salary explosion of the late 1990s and early 2000s) and who (according to The Jordan Rules, among other sources) only consented to use the Triangle Offense if it still allowed him to win the league scoring title is now humping the leg of an event that's about team and not money. Who is he and what's he done with the real Jordan? Here's a gratuitous shot of Jordan dramatically watching the Cup:

"This isn't about the money. It's about the team. It'sabout golf in its purest form. Oh, and photo ops."
Heir Apparent: It should be noted that His Airness was rooting for his bosom buddy Tiger Woods. Of course, I'm sure their friendship has nothing to do with the facts that Woods is the best golfer in the world and an African American icon who's often referred to as "The Michael Jordan of Golf." Said Jordan:

"He tries real hard. He wants to be a great leader. He wants to play well. People want to make excuses for him not playing well, but he never makes excuses. He values this competition. It doesn't take much to get him going. He was off to a slow start, but that doesn't stop him. It's hard to break his spirit. He's been there many times.''

Reading between the lines, Jordan is actually saying: "He's so totally like me, and I really admire the me in other people." The ironic thing is, the best of the "next Jordans" wasn't Harold Miner, or Grant Hill, or Kobe, or Lebron...it was a guy who doesn't even play basketball. Who would've figured? David Stern must be pissed.

Magic Jordan: Supposedly, the Irish fans had "little trouble recognizing" Jordan, but that didn't stop a local radio announcer from proclaiming, "There's Woods' friend, Magic Johnson." According to the article, the announcer was "quickly corrected." Probably via a menacing stare (and probably physical violence) from Charles Oakley.

Out of context Jordan Quote of the Day: "It was blowing so hard, my 85 felt like a 75."

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