Basketbawful

Friday, May 05, 2006

Zo cries, Harris flies, and a night of fun was had by all at the United Center

On April 28, Chicago Bears rookie free safety Chris Harris was named co-winner of the Brian Piccolo Award, which honors the Bears rookie and veteran who best exemplify the courage, loyalty, teamwork, and dedication of the late Brian Piccolo. Basically, it's an intra-squad citizenship award. After Harris won the award, Bears coach Lovie Smith said, "You want your organization to be represented a certain way and we take pride in having guys like [Harris] represent our organization."

Smith might feel differently now.

Thursday night, Harris and some other Bears players attended Game 6 of the Miami/Chicago first round playoff series, and they proceeded to hurl insults and invectives from their expensive seats behind the Heat bench. The primary victim of the viscious taunting was crybaby Alonzo Mourning, best known for flexing and screaming after each and every one of his four rebounds and two shot blocks per game. Harris was quoted as saying such terrible things as "Hey Gonzo, I love you Zo" and "I fart in your general direction, you tiny wiper of other people's bottoms." Zo wasted no time complaining to Heat security, who themselved complained to United Center security, who were then forced to escort Harris to another seat.

I guess it was just that kind of night, considering Antione Walker and Scott Skiles put on their My Little Pony panties and almost duked it out right before halftime. According to the Chicago Times, Walker called Skiles a whiner, Skiles said that Walker was the whiner, and Walker responded by calling Skiles a faggot. Or, I'm sorry, a "derogatory term for a homosexual." Skiles wanted to respond using a "derogatory term for a fat, lazy, overpaid gunner who shoots threes without conscience and is a guaranteed chemistry killer," but he couldn't think of one. So he mooned him instead. Or maybe he just flipped his combover, it's hard to tell.

Anyway, Zo and Antoine are co-winners of a new award we're giving...

This one's for you, Zo and Antione.

1 Comments:

Anonymous said...

Great stuff on Walker. A future post of mine is "Antoine Walker: The Worst All-Star in NBA History!"

Just how many times does he hit the side of the backboard off his ill-timed three pointers? He pulls a 1-15 from the field several times a season. And what about that team chemistry of his...

Plus, he ranks up there with Fugazi Thomas as one of the "Biggest Frontrunners in The NBA!"

5/05/2006 6:02 PM