Kobe Bryant recently had this to say after shooting 8 for 33 in a 90-84 loss to the Spurs:
"This particular ball club right now, I have to be assertive, and if the ball doesn't go in, it gives us a good rebounding opportunity, which we were able to get tonight. Guys went to the glass even on my misses and we got some good looks off of my misses."
So...his 25 missed shots were actually rebounding opportunities for his teammates? Right. And every time I throw a half-eaten sandwich in the trash, that's really just an eating opportunity for some homeless guy. Based on this Bizarro World logic, I propose that the NBA should adopt a new stat category: The Kobe Bryant Assist. Players would recieve one KBA for each missed shot that results in an offensive rebound for a teammate. Man, guys like Allen Iverson and Antione Walker are gonna love this idea.

Kobe ball
Lookin' for the rock? Yep...Kobe's got it.

Statastic Extra: John Hollinger, a self-styled master of APBRmetrics (the analysis of basketball through objective evidence), has devised a special statistical reference called Usage Rate, which specifically measures how much a player hogs the ball. Based on Hollinger's projections, not only is Kobe currently the NBA's prime rock monger, he's on pace to become the most selfish player of all time.