It was a historic loss for the Bulls

I must admit, despite writing for a site that specializes in the worst of professional basketball, I didn't stick around for this one. I tuned in a few times once the rout was on, saw that the Heat had reached 100 before the Bulls reached 60 and found something else to do. I mean, if I wanted to see a Bull getting tortured that badly, I would just watch Reservoir Dogs. At least then, I'd get to listen to some Stealers Wheel.

The Bulls enjoyed their last lead of the evening with 5 minutes remaining in the 1st quarter. After that, the Heat made them pay for each and every ounce of joy their losses to Chicago may have inspired.

With 7 minutes remaining in the 2nd quarter, Miami reached its first 10 point advantage on a Chris Bosh free throw. A Nate Robinson 3 pointer briefly made it seem like things would be OK, sparking a rally that brought the Bulls within 4. After that, LeBron and Wade threw a flurry of shots into the Bulls' ribs to get a double-digit lead back. Then Nate hit a three, blood beginning to drip from his mouth, bringing the Bulls within 8 points. That score, 41-49, was the closest the Bulls would get for the rest of the evening.

Norris Cole countered Nate with two threes, one assisted by Wade, one assisted by LeBron; Bosh got to the line; Chalmers found his range; the Wade-LeBron highlight reel began to roll. By the time the Bulls got past 41, the Heat were already at 60.

Less than halfway through the 3rd, Miami's lead was at 20. With 30 seconds left in the quarter, a Ray Allen three brought it to 31. The 4th opened with back-to-back threes from Battier and Cole. A highly frustrated Taj Gibson lost his composure when he felt the Birdman got away with a goaltend on him. Moments later, he had the good fortune of no longer being on the floor.

Noah was in the locker room even before Gibson, after arguing on his teammate's behalf from the bench. By the time Ray Allen got done shooting technical free throws, the Bulls were down 40. With 8:28 left in the 4th, a Birdman free throw made the score 104-58, signifying the apex of this ass kicking. 

From there, the Bulls made an 18 to 11 run, just so they could eventually finish within 40. The game may have been a wash, but at least the world got this picture out of it... A picture that will be seen by far more people than the game.

She volunteers for the Miami Tourist Board

Before you judge the woman too harshly, you should know that she's a widow. Granted her 4th husband's brothers filed a civil complaint that he was drugged by her before drowning in that swimming pool, but there's no clear reason to assume the worst about this woman. After all, her daughter told the Palm Beach Post that her mom is embarrassed about the sensation the photo has caused, a clear sign of deep remorse and personal growth. To learn more about this woman, and to hear as many puns about the middle finger as you ever will in your life, you should check out this fine example of investigative journalism.

And, uh, oh yeah... the Spurs can't contain shooters. More on that tonight...
Anonymous Stockton said...
We got here a good sign of things to come.
The Heat earn their lunch by attacking the basket, and we all know NBA "policies" concerning contact. Nobody, but NOBODY, will be able to touch Lebron (ok, they might open an exception for Durant) or Wade.
The refs put the clamps down first minute of the game, they shouted that the game wouldn't slide into the 90's. Forget the time machine, we will not see any resemblance of a dog fight in this series.

Blogger Barry said...
The woman also said "get a life"....which seems a pot and kettle thing to me.

Noah is a bitch though, he's about responsible for half of all the contempt between these teams. And Thibodeau accusing LeBron of flopping when he was pushed is ridiculous. To think of all the times in the past he could have said and be right!

Blogger Wormboy said...
Catching up on posts I missed....

I just can't get over the awesomeness of the Filomena Tobias picture. Ultimate. Heat. Fan. A bleached-out, aging, gold digger bimbo with silicone and plastic surgeries getting freaky on an NBA player. Really, couldn't be more perfect.

Ladies and gentlemen, your Miami Heat fan base.

And thanks for the link. The comments section is awesome.