If Big Baby Davis doesn't pursue a second career in professional wrestling, there is no justice in this world

Welcome to the first BAD of 2012. Hopefully your hangover's finally gone. I'll type quietly just in case it isn't.

Worst of the Weekend in Pictures:

It just wouldn't be a Worst of the Weekend in Pictures segment without Stan Van Gundy doing something goofy

Silly Josh Smith. You're not an actual hawk. You can't really fly.

Vince Carter's moments away from crapping himself

That's the same exact expression in every slow motion fight scene in Rocky

Welcome to the gun show. Free admission with your game ticket.

Frank Vogel would like a fistbump. Someone please help out, don't leave him hanging

Okay, we get it Josh, it's your first start. You don't need to act like you're trying THAT hard.

This is the most Tony Parker picture ever

Okay, who wants to go tell Jimmer he's playing defense wrong?

Uh, wrong sport, VDN...

Nationally Televised Games:
Thunder at Mavericks, NBA TV, 8:30pm: Man, these Mavericks kind of suck. Is it time to drag Mike Iuzzolino out of retirement? Dude was a straight up beast in NBA Jam.

All The Other Games:
Warriors at Suns, 3:30pm: So far this season, the Suns are averaging only 89 points per game. What the hell kind of twisted episode of the Twilight Zone did I wake up in this morning???

Wizards Generals at Celtics, 7:30pm: Didn't we just go through this? Rondo dropped a triple double, and the Generals continued to be the only winless team left in the league. This game stinks worse than a tire fire.

Magic at Pistons, 7:30pm: Ryan Anderson is averaging 20 points per game. I believe I speak for those of us who aren't Magic fans when I say "...who?"

Hawks at Heat, 7:30pm: Yes, the Hawks are 3-1. But have you seen their schedule so far? Two games against the Nyets, one against the Generals, and one against the Rockets. I've seen college teams play tougher preseason exhibition games.

Pacers at Nyets, 7:30pm: The Pacers are likewise 3-1, but are shooting 38.5% from the field so far this season. They have not cracked the 40% mark in any of their games so far. Worst in the league.

...And the Nyets are second-worst at 38.7%.

The NBA better burn all video evidence of this game the second the final buzzer sounds.

Craptors at Knicks, 7:30pm: I'd like to take a moment to recognize the Knicks' Josh Harrellson. Jorts was a TERRIBLE basketball player most of his time at the University of Kentucky, but suddenly started trying, got in shape, and learned how to rebound his senior year. And now he's gotten to start a game in Stoudemire's absence, and managed a double-double. Way to go, Jorts.

Spurs at Timberwolves, 8:00pm: I don't think anyone's ready to call the Timberwolves "good," but it's nice to see them be less bawful. Now, maybe if they had more pieces than just Ricky Rubio and Kevin Love to go with their assortment of scrub and bench warmers...

Bucks at Nuggets, 9:00pm: I'm not sure how good the Bucks really are, but I DO know the Nuggets are on the third game of a back-to-back-to-back after splitting two consecutive games against the Lakers. That's a recipe for dead legs if I've ever heard one. Then again, I've never heard a recipe for dead legs. Chicken legs, maybe, but not dead legs. (Mmm... chicken legs...)

Hornets at Jazz, 9:00pm: In news that should surprise absolutely no one, the Hornets are... not good. The stat I found most painful: they are shooting 15% from downtown so far. It's one thing to watch a brickfest, but there's something extra painful about watching missed three pointer after missed three pointer clang off the rim and result in long rebounds that usually go the other way.


Blogger Passives Abseits said...
by the way: are the Timberwolves the best team ever to start 0-3? I mean, they lost their first three games by an average of 3 points and then they came back to beat the reigning champs... ok, they've beaten what's left of the champs, but still...

Anonymous Anonymous said...
Just to note, the Wizards/Generals managed to sub in someone who was not on the active roster in their game against the Bucks. Jus' sayin.

Anonymous Naz said...
I'm calling it now, I see it being the Thunder vs the Heat in the Finals this year, and the Heat take the championship in 6 games.

Blogger kazam92 said...
If the Wolves could take care of their glut at power forward (perhaps turn it into a SG or C), they could make some noise.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
you know who's quietly exceeding my expectations this year? T-mac!
Hope i didn't just curse his season, i hope he keeps this up

Anonymous Czernobog said...
@Naz: I've got it at Thunder vs Bulls.

But a lot can happen between now and then.

Anonymous Stockton said...
Ponce de Leon is the new assistant coach for the Hawks? Or is time travelling a reality?