Shannon and Colleen are sitting at the kitchen table having coffee and chatting.

“So?” Shannon says. “They win?”

I shake my head.

“That’s too bad,” she says, not even trying to pretend she cares. “Is Dev ok?”

I shake my head again. “He’s down there crying,” I say.

Shannon looks at Colleen with her mouth slightly agape, as if she’s looking at a kitten in a store window. Colleen returns the same look. In unison, they expel an Awwww.

“I tried to make him feel better,” I say. “It was tough to see him like that.”

“Kids cry easily at this age,” Shannon says. “He’ll be ok.”
“Yeah, I guess,” I say. “The kids on Edwin’s basketball team were like that too.”

“Yeah, but in that case, it was because you were such an awful coach,” Shannon says.

My chest goes concave as if I’ve just been punched in the chest.

Shannon laughs. “I was totally joking, honey,” she says.

“Very funny,” I say.

My pocket vibrates.

“Must be Bill,” Shannon says.

I take out my phone and wander into the living room.

Bill_Celticfan: Dude

Titletown_Dougie: dude

Bill_Celticfan: I’m still in shock

Titletown_Dougie: I know. me too.

Bill_Celticfan: they were ahead almost the whole game

Titletown_Dougie: i know

Bill_Celticfan: I mean I knew the Lakers would make a run, but…

Titletown_Dougie: yeah. I was already raising the banner in my mind.

Bill_Celticfan: 18..woulda been 18.

Titletown_Dougie: we’re still up tho. Lakers only have 16.

Bill_Celticfan: 11…you know I don’t count the five when they were the Minneapolis Lakers.

Titletown_Dougie: you’re grasping at straws, man.

Bill_Celticfan: you know what? Let the world think they have 16. we both know the truth.

Titletown_Dougie: yeah yeah

Bill_Celticfan: don’t flake on me. this is when we need to stay strongest.

Titletown_Dougie: ok

Bill_Celticfan: and hey…at least we have the sweet release of death to look forward to

Titletown_Dougie: i used that argument on devlin. didn’t go over well.

Bill_Celticfan: took it hard?

Titletown_Dougie: yeah

Bill_Celticfan: he’ll be fine. kids are resilient…we’re the ones who suffer. This is what we live for

Titletown_Dougie: come on – friends, family, health

Bill_Celticfan: yeah yeah…you know what I mean.

Titletown_Dougie: I know

Bill_Celticfan: alright, I’m gonna go ketel one and soda this feeling out of my system.

Titletown_Dougie: alright

Bill_Celticfan: patriots training camp soon

Titletown_Dougie: yup

Bill_Celticfan: think pleasant tom-brady-men’s-magazine-homoerotic-overtone-photo-shoot thoughts


Straight as an arrow.


Yup. Ladies' man all the way.


You're not making this easy on me, dude.

Titletown_Dougie: funny. Later.

Bill_Celticfan: later…and hey

Titletown_Dougie: yeah?

Bill_Celticfan: fail better.

Titletown_Dougie: what?

Bill_Celticfan: fail better

Titletown_Dougie: ok


Travelling: Intro / Book Jacket, Chapter 1: Cribbagegate, Chapter 2: Two e-mails, Chapter 3: Pattern, Chapter 4: Shattered, Chapter 5: Hilarious Pee, Chapter 6: Suicide, Chapter 7/8: Coaching High school, Shark attacks and appetizers, Chapter 9: June, Chapter 10: 18 and oh no, Chapter 11: DNA, Chapter 12: Peanut Butter Sandwiches, Chapter 13: Tom Brady and the McGuffin, Chapter 14: Game 1, Chapter 15: Who the H is John Havlicek?, Chapters 16 - 17, Chapter 18: Game 2: Great White, Chapter 19: Pickle, Chapter 20: Marty McFly, Chapter 21 / 22: standard deviation, all the pretty flowers, Chapter 23: Game 3: Black Hills, Chapter 24: Twister, Chapter 25: Game 4, Chapter 26: Patriotic Agony, Chapter 27: Locusts, Chapter 28: skype, Chapter 29: Click, Chapter 30: Superman, Chapter 30: Ass Brunch Chapter 32: Mammoth, Chapter 33: Pathetic, Chapter 34: Purple and Gold, Chapter 35: Chowdah, Chapter 36: Mastermind, Chapter 37: m&m cookie dough, Chapter 38: taste, Chapter 39: Dance with the Devil, Chapter 40: Game 7, Chapter 41: 17 to 11, Chapter 42: One Mold, Chapter 43: Stink Smell

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Blogger Rhett said...
again, well played. who do you like to read?

Blogger Evil Ted said...
Thanks, Rhett. These days, when I'm not working or doing what little I do to help raise my lovely offspring, I often am writing or making movies rather than reading...

However, I will say that in years past my favorite material often came from Thomas Harris' books. Hannibal Lecter and his great transformation from text to screen was always something I loved. I later had my James Patterson phase with the Alex Cross novels. My enjoyment of that material was related to my own writing, as my first book (I have self-published a few thus far) was a psychological thriller murder mystery.

Then I went through a period taking in an author by the name of Chad Kultgen, who's filthy narratives charmed me. Again I was inspired by what I was reading, and wrote a couple of enormously dirty dystopian male satires during that time. Those have gone over very well in my inner circle of friends and family, and I hope to write a third sometime soon to complete the trilogy of filth.

Most recently, I was given Chuck Klosterman's "Sex, Drugs and Cocoa Puffs," which was muddling through when I got distracted by caveman-simple amusement of "Men with Balls" by Drew Magary, a saucy instruction handbook for professional athletes.


Blogger Dan B. said...
Evil Ted -- I rather enjoyed "Sex, Drugs and Cocoa Puffs." Like all Chuck Klosterman material, it's a little uneven and sometimes ridiculou, but it made me laugh quite a bit. And I read (and laughed my way through) about two chapters of "Men with Balls" before I got distracted by Jonah Keri's "The Extra 2%" (about the Tampa Bay Rays' rise to relevance) being delivered to my doorstep. And I haven't even bothered to finish that book yet either. I gotta get on that...

Blogger lordhenry said...
Releasing material on the weekend is excellent, thank-you. Only thing I'm confused by is Doug's seemingly overnight change of heart. Seems to be changing, but I'm a little lost as to what was the catalyst?

Blogger Evil Ted said...
lordhenry - you're welcome. So what "change of heart" do you mean? Doug pulled back on his emotion in front of his son, but that is more a facade than a real change of heart...

...don't worry. He'll lose his mind again soon enough.