saddest bench ever
This is what it looks like when a team dies.

The Weather: After cheating all but about a thousand Charlotte area residents out of a gripping blowout of the Grizzlies, the weather robbed everybody in Atlanta of a thrilling matchup between two of the league's slowest teams (the Hawks and Bucks rank 25th and 24th in Pace, respectively). Until March 15th anyway. And did I mention Milwaukee is ranked 29th in Offensive Rating and dead last in PPG. How could you do this, weather? How could you?

The Philadelphia 76ers: Speaking of the weather, it limited the crowd of the Pacers-Sixers game in Philly to about 5,000 due to a pending snowstorm. Bummer, huh?

It was just as well, since the home team let Indy score 111 points on 51 percent shooting and end a nine-game road losing streak.

Homecourt fail.

By the way, I'm giving Andre Iguodala Worst Player of the Night dishonors for his triumphant return of one point on 0-for-7 shooting in 33 minutes.

Interestingly enough, the last time the Pacers won a road game was on November 30th against (of course) the Kings. Speaking of which...

The Sacramento Kings: Did you hear the news?! Arco Arena is going to be renamed Power Balance Pavilion. You know, after Power Balance bracelets. Basically, they're rubber bands that "improve" athletic performance, probably by reducing the weight of the athlete's wallet, leading to increased speed and vertical leap.

From their official Web site:

What is Power Balance?

Power Balance is Performance Technology designed to work with your body's natural energy field. Founded by athletes, Power Balance is a favorite among elite athletes for whom balance, strength and flexibility are important.

How Does the Hologram Work?

Power Balance is based on the idea of optimizing the body's natural energy flow, similar to concepts behind many Eastern philosophies. The hologram in Power Balance is designed to resonate with and respond to the natural energy field of the body.
Don't laugh. These claims may sound outrageous to the point of insanity, but they're real. Ever wonder how the Loch Ness Monster and Sasquatch have remained hidden all these years? Curious how Santa Clause delivers presents to every kid in the world in just a few hours? Have you questioned why the Dark Lord Satan hasn't dragged Kobe Bryant straight back to the pits of Hell from whence he came?

Here's the answer: They're all wearing Power Balance bracelets.

True story.

Anyway, the Kings must have been wearing Power Balance bracelets, because they went out and scored 133 points last night...

...but gave up 136 and lost to the Washington Wizards Generals.

The Minnesota Timberwolves: Wow. I mean, just, wow. Okay, so the Timberwolves had sliced and diced San Antonio's 16-point lead down to only six (68-62). Then, with about eight and a half minutes left in the third quarter, Minnesota native and NBA official Ken Mauer decided he had seen enough of the comeback.

Said Mauer: "YOU WILL RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH!" And he meant it.

Mauer tagged Darko Milicic and Corey Brewer with technical fouls for gesturing toward him on the same play. Timberwolves coach Kurt Rambis approached Mauer to discuss the techs and received two of his own (and the automatic ejection that came with them). Seconds later, Mauer T'd up Kevin Love because Love threw up his arms and yelled after Tim Duncan raped him on a rebound attempt.

That made a total of five technical fouls and one ejection in 10 seconds. Manu Ginobili drilled all five of the ensuing free throws and suddenly the T-Wolves were down 73-62. They played the Spurs even the rest of the way and lost 107-96.

Love -- who had yet another Animal-Style double-double of 20 points and 20 boards -- said: "I've never seen that before. Five in a row, that had to be a first. That was crazy."

Added Michael Beasley: "I've never seen that. Never. I've seen simultaneous Ts on different teams. But on the same team, that was a first. It's been happening all year. ... I don't like getting five Ts in 30 seconds, but you've got to see where the refs are coming from. If they feel you're out of place, they've been doing it all year."

Even Manu felt a little bad for the Timberwolves.

"I was glad it was us shooting," Ginobili said. "It was kind of awkward. It was strange."

The Phoenix Suns: This is getting uglier by the day. The Suns appeared to be catching the Nuggets at just the right time. Denver was mired in a three-game losing streak and, with Carmelo Anthony trade rumors swirling around, the ship appeared to be going down faster than the Titanic. Sure enough, Phoenix raced out to a 32-20 lead after one quarter...

...then got outscored 82-40 in the second and third quarters.

The Suns shot 36 percent while the Nuggets shot nearly 56 percent. The 44 points Denver scored in the second quarter represented a season high. Carmelo Anthony had a double-double (28 points and 10 boards) and Arron Afflalo made it fucking rain, scoring a career-high 31 points on 11-for-14 shooting. In fact, Afflalo, a shooting guard, outrebounded Suns starting Center Robin Lopez 9-1.

It was that kind of night.

From the Elias Sports Bureau (via ESPN Stats and Information):

The Nuggets trailed the Suns 32-20 at the end of the first quarter, but rallied to win, 132-98. Denver set an NBA record during the shot-clock era for largest margin of victory for a team that was behind by at least 12 points heading into the second quarter.
By the way, that 34-point margin of defeat was the largest ever suffered by Phoenix against the Nuggets. Historic fail.

Said Steve Nash: "It feels like there's a little lack of cohesion and chemistry. I don't feel like we're getting that performance and effort that we're accustomed to, and that's disappointing. It seems like when we lose the momentum, we just go downhill fast. It's like we stop believing. We're all concerned and disappointed. We've got to keep fighting; that's all we can do. You can't cry about it; you've got to keep fighting."

I'm pretty sure that's what Apollo Creed was thinking right before Ivan Drago beat him to death.

As for that "lack of cohesion and chemistry" Steve is talking about, Robert Sarver let STAT walk, then overpaid for Channing Frye and Hakim Warrick, then traded for Hedo Turkoglu, then flipped Turkododo and Jason Richardson -- who was probably their best player not named "Nash" -- for Vince Carter, whom the Magic were eager to dump because he's limping his way to the NBA Glue Factory.

There's no cohesion because shit doesn't stick.

The Cleveland Cavaliers: When the Mayans prophesized an apocalyptic, worldwide disaster in the year 2012, maybe they were right. Maybe they just overshot the mark by a year. And maybe that "apocalyptic, worldwide disaster" they predicted was actually the Cleveland Cavaliers. It makes more sense than John Cusack outrunning an earthquake, right?

Anyway, I keep thinking things can't possibly get any worse for Cleveland. I just keep thinking it. And I keep being wrong. So very, very wrong.

Heading into last night's game against the Lakers in L.A., the Cavaliers had lost 10 straight and 19 of their last 20 games. They were already an NBA-worst 8-29. On top of that, they were without starting center Anderson Varejao, who tore a tendon in his right ankle while running at practice, Joey Graham (right quad strain), Daniel Gibson (left ankle sprain), Leon Powe (right torn meniscus) and Anthony Parker (lower back strain).

And the Lakers beat them. And beat them. And beat them some more. The Cavs scoring, by quarter, went: 12, 13, 16 and 16. They finished with 57 points. And lost by 55.

Said Kobe Bryant: "You don't ever imagine something like that."

Somebody call 911 for the Cavaliers. Actually, forget it. It's too late for that. The box score reads like an autopsy report. None of Cleveland's starters scored in double figures. In fact, that unit combined to shoot 8-for-37. Some cat named Samardo Samuels came off their bench and went 1-for-12. It was just a remorseless slaughter. The Lakers pummeled them to death the way that, well, Ivan Drago pummeled Apollo Creed to death.

Sorry. I couldn't help myself.

More autopsy details from ESPN Stats and Information:

The Los Angeles Lakers made it look easy against the Cleveland Cavaliers Tuesday night at Staples Center winning 112-57. The 55-point win was the largest margin of victory in the NBA in nearly 13 years. The last time a team won by 55 or more points was on February 27, 1998 when the Indiana Pacers defeated the Portland Trail Blazers 124-59.

Cleveland's 57 points Tuesday was its fewest in franchise history. It was the fewest points the Lakers have allowed in the shot-clock era (since 1954).

The Cavs were 1-14 from 3-point range, committed 19 turnovers and scored just 25 points in the first half. Prior to Tuesday, Cleveland was 8-3 in its last 11 games against the Lakers scoring no fewer than 88 points in each game.
Here's more wood on the fire from Brian Kamenetzky of Land O' Lakers:

Since the advent of the shot clock (lest you think it recent, it's been around since the '54-'55 season), the fewest points allowed by the Lakers was 66. Tonight, they flat dusted that mark. Cleveland scored 12 points in the quarter, then 10 in the second. Coming out of the break, they EXPLODED for 16, and managed to repeat the feat in the fourth. Was it great defense? Incompetent offense? Something in the water?

I will say I witnessed quite simply the worst play I've ever seen at the NBA level, when Ryan Hollins, after blocking Kobe Bryant underneath led the Cavs up court, flanked by teammates on each side. He proceeded to more or less hand the ball to Pau Gasol, stationed about three-quarters of the way up to half court. Gasol flipped it to Kobe, who popped the ball off the backboard to Andrew Bynum for a dunk.

Effectively, Hollins turned a five-on-two break into a three-on-oh the other way as James Naismith flopped like a landed trout in his grave.
Said Cavs coach Byron Scott: "I thought that was embarrassing. I told them at halftime, 'You look scared. You look flat-out scared. You're playing against the world champions, and instead of just competing and playing hard, you look scared. You look scared to death.' That was my take on it, as simple as that. We knew it wasn't going to be easy, but to come out and not compete? There's no excuse for that. I'm embarrassed because of the way we performed. I'm a Cleveland Cavalier right now and the way we performed last night, that's embarrassing to me. I had one other team [New Jersey] come in and I thought we looked a little nervous. But that was the NBA Finals. I haven't had another team come in and look that scared."

You think that sounds bad?

Added Antawn Jamison: "It can't be any worse than this. If it is, someone will have to help me because I don't know how much of this I can take. This by far is rock bottom. It's definitely by far one of the most embarrassing moments that I've been a part of as far as basketball."

And this is from a guy who spent a combined 10-plus years playing for the Golden State Warriors and Washington Wizards Generals. Dude was on a 19-win team that started the seaon 6-30. Then he was the leading scorer on a 17-win team that lost 32 of its last 34 games...a stretch that included losing streaks of 8, 11, and 13 games.

So, yeah, Antawn knows what rock bottom is. And this is it.

Update! More angst from Antawn: "Fifty-five points? That's, like, impossible. We're professional athletes. How do you lose by 55 points? I don't care who you're playing against. I mean, if this doesn't hurt...I don't understand how we're able to have conversations in the locker room. There's nothing to talk about. We have to do some soul searching quick because no matter who we play, right now they feel like they can beat us. If we don't have a sense of pride and just play for yourself or something...this might be one of the worst teams to go through a season. The frustrating part about it is I know we're better than this. I don't know. Something has to change."

Update! Mo Williams Tweeted about what happened: "This shit is embarrassing. I feel like I can't even show my face in Cleve."

You know it's bad when you feel like you can't show your face in Cleveland.

LeBron James: He could have left it alone. He could have kept his damn mouth shut for a change. If he was going to enjoy Cleveland's abject and utter misery, he could have done it quietly behind closed doors. But remember: This is a guy who castrated his hometown in an hour-long, ego-stroking infomercial that aired on ESPN. So, if anything, when LeBron James decides to be an asshole, he opts for maximum exposure of his royal sphincter.

And so here's what he Tweeted after the Cavaliers were executed in L.A.:

lebron tweet

We thought LeBron couldn't be a bigger asshole after this summer? Epic fail.

That's all he is, by the way. An asshole of biblical proportions. I was listening to Mike and Mike on ESPN Radio this morning, and Mike Greenberg's take was that LeBron is embracing the role of the villain. But Greenberg is wrong. Bill Laimbeer? That dude loved being a villain...and he never pretended otherwise. King Crab, on the other hand, is a villain pretending to be the wronged hero.

Which means, yeah, I respect Laimbeer more than LeBron.

What's more, he's an idiot who obviously doesn't know anything about karma beyond what he's heard in sound bites or read in a fortune cookie. Still, if 'Bron's version of "karma" really is in effect, I expect an anvil to fall out of the sky and land on his fat head any minute.

Update! I probably should have mentioned this already. But 'Melo got all Tweet-happy last night too. Here's what he was e-chirping (H/T Karc):

First they love you, then they hate you..............

Not complaining just a real statement

die a hero or live long enuff to become a villain

Far from letting it get to me. Can't a MF just vent. Damn. Lol
Now AnacondaHL has come through with even more updates:

Further on Melo's tweeting:

"You can be a delicious, ripe peach and there will still be people in the world that hate peaches.....lmao"

...followed by him changing his profile picture to literally a bunch of peaches. Wow. Next he'll be trying to tell us about how great Linkin Park speaks to him.And

Lebron's Ego with yet another fantastic followup:

Who said psychological train wrecks aren't fun to watch?

The Portland Frail Blazers: The Brandon Roy-less Blazers had an offensive meltdown (35 percent from the field and 4-for-18 on threes) and the Knicks beat 'em in Portland. Blah, blah, blah.

Said Blazers coach Nate McMillan: "I thought we looked mentally fatigued. We were just a step slow in everything we did."

Added LeMarcus Aldridge: "We just didn't make shots. I tried to force the issue going to the basket, took some shots that probably couldn't go in, but I didn't want to just take jump shots over and over. It was tough."

Update! Antoine Walker: From Basketbawful reader Little Keith:

Just making sure everyone is aware of Antoine "toine" Walker's performance from The D-League's Showcase tonight:

7 pts (2-13 shooting, 1-6 on 3's)
3 rebs
2 asts
2 blks
4 PFs
10 TOs
-13 +/-
34+ minutes of "playing" time
Update! Allen Iverson: From Basketbawful reader roland deschain of gilead:

Allen Iverson Update!!!

He is injured on his right calf muscle and will possibly need surgery. Out for at least two months.

Meanwhile his team Besiktas is 9th in the 16-team Turkish League.

He played 7 games with 32 mins/game (40 min games). Averaging around 14.3 points, 2.7 rebounds, 4.7 assists, 1.7 steals and 3.3 turnovers with 23/52 44% 2 points - 9 / 21 42% 3 points and 27/37 73% free throws.
Chris's Lacktion Report:

Pacers-Sixers: Andres Nocioni notched a giveaway in 2:48 for a +1.

Purple Paupers-Generals: Hilton Armstrong commandeered a 3:39 stay in the ledger despite an assist, by fouling once for a 1:0 Madsen-level Voskuhl.

Spurs-Wolves: Chris Quinn heaved two bricks with all his might for a +2 in 1:31, the same time span it took Tiago Splitter to garner a 1.5 trillion.

Labels: , , , ,

Blogger Cortez said...
"We thought LeBron couldn't be a bigger asshole after this summer?"

Not me. I felt he hadn't even scratched the surface. Advantage: me.

As a side note...

If this "God" sees everything, then maybe instead of intervening in the petty squabbles of multi-millionaires by altering the outcome of routine regular season NBA games between two obviously mismatched opponents, this "God" could stop a couple of those pesky tsunamis [that tend to wipe out thousands of people by horrific drownings] at the shore with a few lighting bolts or something epic like that.

"Arco Arena is going to be renamed Power Balance Pavilion."

Wow, where can I get one?!?!?!?!?

Blogger Leland said...
I bet that once the media starts to give LBJ shit for his comment, he'll come back and say "Karma??? That's crazy, I never said that. Lebron James didn't know what 'karma' meant until Lebron read it on the internet. Lebron was just saying God sees everything and you shouldn't wish bad on other people."

Anonymous Anonymous said...
"Still, if 'Bron's version of "karma" really is in effect, I expect an anvil to fall out of the sky and land on his fat head any minute..."

Where are Yakko, Wakko, and Princess Angelina Contessa Louisa Francesca Banana Fana Bo Besca The
when you need them?

Blogger Junior said...
In the official site, Power Balance said that is all fake and if anyone wants a refund, they can get it!
Maybe the Kings should be more careful, cause if everyone starts demand the refund for the game tickets thinking they were fooled, the Kings can be in trouble haha

Blogger Cortez said...
"Lebron was just saying God sees everything and you shouldn't wish bad on other people."

At risk of causing another mini firestorm...

LeBron was [just saying] that "God" actively caused the Cavalier's to have a historically bad outing due to the Cavalier's owner ridiculing him.

Whether he is aware of it or not (not) his blase assessment of the priorities of this "God" he refers to is (or should be) an insult to whatever half-assed religion doctrine he pretends to follow.

Plus, he says "bad things" and insults people people all the time. Look it up on the interwebs, it's out there.

I just realized K. Love had 20 and 20 again. Goddamn.

That one outing is much more impressive than that wide open lob!

Blogger Unknown said...
BadDave comes through with the Animaniacs reference!

I was expecting either the Anvil Song or a reference to Anvilania. Glad to see I wasn't disappointed.

Anonymous Angry Canuck said...
Had the "opportunity" to finally check out the 2010-11 T-wolves last night, and I understand now.

I've never seen a less cohesive group on the floor, ever....our 16-66 Raps of 1990something were more together.


Too bad about LeBron...please Heat, go back to losing. Now. Planet Earth needs it.

Anonymous Geert said...
Some of the players of the Dutch FIFA worldcup team wore the powerbalance bracelets this summer. If I remember correctly, Wesley Sneijder started the hype. They lost in the finals despite them. Or maybe they reached the finals because of them? Hm...

Blogger Basketbawful said...
Btw, I forgot to put the Antoine Walker and Allen Iverson updates in the post. These have been added.

Blogger Code E.L.R. said...
Why no mention of Iggy going 0-7 for 1 point?

Anonymous Stray said...
Why no mention of Iggy going 0-7 and scoring 1 point?

Anonymous Anonymous said...
Not sure if it's just me but it seemed like LeBron directed that tweet to Dan Gilbert as opposed to the entire city of Cleveland. Wasn't Gilbert the one who wished "bad things" on him in his letter?

Blogger Michael Hsu said...
Damn 10 turnovers. Which team was he playing for?

Blogger Bakes said...
Not sure if it's just me but it seemed like LeBron directed that tweet to Dan Gilbert as opposed to the entire city of Cleveland. Wasn't Gilbert the one who wished "bad things" on him in his letter?

I had that thought for a moment and then realized -- wouldn't "bad things" happening to Gilbert be, you know, to Gilbert? And not Lebron's former teammates? None of them popped off in comic sans fury, why would they be subject to "karma" as Lebron sees it? If he meant Gilbert, then Gilbert alone should "suffer", not his teammates whom he still has "nothing against". This wouldn't be "karma" just for Gilbert, this would mean "karma" for the team and the fans as well.

Oh but... but wait, didn't the CITY wish "bad things" on him as well? Lebron was not directing that at Gilbert -- at least not Gilbert alone. This was Lebron yet again dropping trou on his former team, team owner, city, and fans and pinching out a tightly coiled ego hemorrhage.

I also don't believe Lebron is "embracing his role as a villain". If he was, saying "haha ur karma'd" is a pretty weak attempt, even for a troll.

Blogger AnacondaHL said...
Further on Melo's tweeting:

"You can be a delicious, ripe peach and there will still be people in the world that hate peaches.....lmao"

...followed by him changing his profile picture to literally a bunch of peaches. Wow. Next he'll be trying to tell us about how great Linkin Park speaks to him.

And Lebron's Ego with yet another fantastic followup:


Blogger AnacondaHL said...
Further on Melo's tweeting:

"You can be a delicious, ripe peach and there will still be people in the world that hate peaches.....lmao"

...followed by him changing his profile picture to literally a bunch of peaches. Wow. Next he'll be trying to tell us about how great Linkin Park speaks to him.

And Lebron's Ego with yet another fantastic followup:


Anonymous Stockton said...
Lebron's career doesn't remind some twilight zone's episode?'s_a_Good_Life_(The_Twilight_Zone)

Blogger Coras said...
One of the worst parts about all this is being ridiculed by Grimlock fans back home. This year is the kind of year that can rip out a man's soul and turn him into a zombie. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if the whole zombie apocalypse begins in Cleveland with a few die hard Cav fans.

At least the Bills enacted a slow decline in the post Jim Kelly era and have been mired in mediocrity ever since. But to go from first to worst?

And to have the ex-girlfriend that dumped you on national TV start sending you sex tapes of her getting triple-stuffed and laugh at how far you've fallen?

It just doesn't end.

The worst part is that in 1970 I could have chosen the Buffalo Braves as my team instead of the Cavs. Before you think that would have been a good move....the Braves are now the LA Clippers.

Yes, Cleveland and Buffalo have raised losing to an art form not before known to man. They should just set Lake Erie on fire and be done with it....oh wait.

Blogger Basketbawful said...
Post updated to include Worst Player of the Night for Iggy, 'Melo's original Tweet chain and AnacondaHL's Tweet updates for 'Bron and 'Melo.

Anonymous Brian said...
Ivan Drago looks like Andrei Kirilenko's evil twin.

Blogger 49er16 said...
Bill Laimbeer? That dude loved being a villain...and he never pretended otherwise. King Crab, on the other hand, is a villain pretending to be the wronged hero.

Bingo! He feels like he was the one being wronged by Cleveland. He seriously thought Cleveland fans wouldn't be upset he was leaving and when they turned on him he was completely shocked.

Blogger DC said...
A good reason why the Timberwolves are 9-30, despite whatever it is that Kevin Love does

And Total Win for the Animaniacs reference. Although, given that this blog is Basketbawful, I think "Good Idea, Bad Idea" would be more appropriate.

Anonymous kazam92 said...
I CALLED IT!!!111111

And Poor Toine, he was having a good (D-league standards) year before that crapper. No way he becomes a pro now.

Anonymous JJ said...
I'm sure there are still some Bron Bron fans out there. So, here is a good website to get his merchandise.

Anonymous The Other Chris said...

That picture is so much awesome.

Blogger Basketbawful said...
Post updated to include an awesome Tweet from Mo Williams.

Anonymous kazam92 said...
Being a heatfan, I must try a pitiful defense that will be shot down. I admit that he should've shut his yap to begin with

LeBron wasn't really talking about the team, guys. How about the fans that threatened his life and verbally attacked his wife?


Blogger Basketbawful said...
LeBron wasn't really talking about the team, guys. How about the fans that threatened his life and verbally attacked his wife?

How is pushing Antawn Jamison and Mo Williams to the brink of suicide a karmic response to the fans who gave LeBron shit?

Anonymous kazam92 said...
Oh and

Pretty much how we feel at this point. With that, I'm done with the matter. I now await Heat v. Clippers. I really really want to watch Blake Griffin in person

Anonymous AK Dave said...
Don't laugh at those magnetic armbands!

They sure as hell worked for this guy!

No, seriously, though. He wears 6 of them. I would say it's retarded, but Tank Carder basically won that bowl game by himself. He was fucking everywhere. Was it the armbands? Who are we to say!?

Anonymous Angry Canuck said...
When are the Evil Threesome (sorry, Pookie, guilt by assoctiation) going to guest on CSI Miami hobnobbing with H as three unsubs (wrong show, I know) who have a criminal organization that rips the hearts out of unsuspecting sports fans?

Slow shot of sunglasses going on..."Frank..."

Blogger chris said...
So the Paupers put on Power Balance and score 133.

Does that mean that that's clearly what's missing with the Cavs?

Anonymous Anonymous said...
F the Cavs, ship some of those suckers to Milwaukee!

Blogger Basketbawful said...
Pretty much how we feel at this point.

My problem with that article -- besides the fact that it was written by an idiot -- is that it tries to make LeBron's behavior seem justified while painting his critics' opinions as unreasonable and unchanging.

Guess what? LeBron playing well in Miami isn't going to change how people feel about him as a person. Heat fans seem to think it should. Guess what? Being a dick has nothing to do with basketball. For further reading, refer to the collected works of Bryant, Kobe.

Here's a crazy-ass idea. Maybe, just maybe, if LeBron showed a little humility and remorse for the way he's behaved and the things he's said, maybe the hard feelings would start to fade, or at least ease up. Instead, LeBron stirs the shit back up by acting like an asshole and his supporters act like it's everybody else's fault, that people are just picking on him.

Bullshit. Reveling in a team's (and a city's) misery and claiming it's karma is asshole behavior.

And don't forget: It's not like me or anybody else on this site were defending Dan Gilbert's comic sans letter. We mocked the shit out of it. Dude went apeshit. And we called him out for it.

Just like we'll do with LeBron when he acts like a dick.

Blogger Bakes said...
LeBron wasn't really talking about the team, guys. How about the fans that threatened his life and verbally attacked his wife?

How about he brought it on himself?

That's kinda some "karma" there, don't you think? He treated his fans and his organization in the utmost of shtity ways (only referencing his departure and "The Doucheision" for this comment) and he was vilified by those whose hearts he ripped out. If Gilbert and those around him are deserving of "bad karma", then Lebron is no doubt deserving of just as much if not more.

Don't misunderstand though - had someone actually done physical harm to him for the way he left, well that's on a level of obvious stupidity we don't need to discuss.

Your White Knighting is fun, though.

@ Basketbawful

Just like we'll do with LeBron when he acts like a dick.

That well, she's never dippin' dry.

Anonymous jodial said...
Sorry to pile on, but Manny Harris had a +/- of -57 last night for Cleveland.

That's a Bizarro Chamberlain number.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
For your information, Santa Claus does not deliver presents to all the children in the world. Those whose parents don't celebrate Christmas don't get squat. India + China is a good chunk of population he gets to skip.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
"White Knighting". Whoo hoo! MRA is spreading!

Anonymous JJ said...
I know they'll "probably" end with up with a better record than last year's Nyets, but somehow they seem way worse.

I feel bad for Jamison. He must've thought he was finally getting on a good team with Cavs, but then Bron pulls a get the hell out of dodge on the team/city. Maybe he should've stayed in Dallas for lesser money back in the day and it might have turned out better for him.

Blogger AnacondaHL said...
This apparently happened in December, but is making some rounds now. Harlem Globetrotters played with first ever 4 point shot. Could it be adapted for the NBA? Obviously the circle is dumb and too small, but boy is Antoine Walker sure licking his chops!

Anonymous Shiv said...
Did anyone else read that article about how Lebron did the same thing owners do on a daily basis by trading and selling players, but don't get vilified for it?

Blogger Basketbawful said...
Did anyone else read that article about how Lebron did the same thing owners do on a daily basis by trading and selling players, but don't get vilified for it?

Not sure I've ever seen an owner hold an entire city hostage by staging a one-hour, self-serving informercial to announce which free agent he's gonna sign or which player(s) he's gonna trade, then anncounce he's going to, like, sell the team and move on.

I mean, really, it's not the same thing. I can't think of a single team owner that has ever been loved and borderline worshipped by his city the way LeBron was. It's not the same.

Anonymous Stockton said...
Stop talking about the LeOneWhoShouldNotBeNamed!!!!!

F##K HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anonymous Anonymous said...
Meh, the other side of the opinion as in here:

is what I agree with more. The enormous overreaction to LeBron's dumb (not evil) decision show continues. Are you really going to go the route of saying he should be eternally thankful for the millions he was paid, when he was quite likely responsible for a good bit of the teams financial success, plus any other team would have gladly paid the same. I don't think anybody who's working hard at their job should feel like the owe that JOB anything. Now, if he feels he's making too much money and wants to give back to society, that's one thing, but why should he care about an owner and fanbase that immediately flipped out and overreacted to something so drastically?

Anonymous Cetti said...
how awesome is that:!

how can someone not love jerry sloan?

Anonymous JJ said...
I love Onion.,18777/

Among the highlights...

"Rule# 101 - Kobe's just some stupid punk! He's not allowed to play in the NBA anymore."

Blogger Wild Yams said...
I'm not wanting to start a flame war with this, I really am genuinely curious: if you're a Suns fan do you think the team has a chance to win a title with Steve Nash? They don't to me look like they're only a player or two away from being a championship team, so you'd have to assume it will probably take a couple years to get to that point, at minimum. And given Nash's age, I'd have to say it really looks unlikely that the Suns will win it all with Nash on the team. If that is true, if you're a Suns fan and you also feel this way, would it then be better for Phoenix to trade him?

I'm not even talking about trying to get Nash a ring, I'm just talking about it from the Suns' standpoint. If you're Phoenix and you want to win a title, given all the trades they've made over the last 3+ years, all the shuffling around of everyone and different looks they've tried, at some point don't you have to think about trading Nash and just going in an entirely new direction? Or if you're a Suns fan is it more important to just watch Nash finish his career in Phoenix, even if it means the Suns won't win anything while he's still playing?

I guess in short, is it more important from a fan of the team's standpoint to try to finish Nash's career off in a classy way, or to risk that by gambling on going for a title? I don't even know what Phoenix could possibly hope to trade Nash for that could make them a contender, but it just seems like they're really going in the wrong direction (not because of Nash, don't get me wrong, it's not his fault), and I don't know how much time they realistically have left in Nash's career to make a go of it with him at the helm.

Anonymous AK Dave said...
Wild Yams:

Nash gets paid around $10m/year (IIRC). I think from a financial standpoint, he's worth keeping based on his production. I doubt that keeping him around is stopping the team from having success. Trading him is going to help... how exactly? Are you going to get a player in place who helps the team more than Nash? At his salary level? Who gives his team more value for his salary than Nash (that isn't under a Rookie contract)?

Blogger Cortez said...
Through no fault of his own, Nash isn't winning a title if he stays with the Suns, period (unless anyone considers the lack of ability to score 128 ppg singlehandedly a fault of his).

The Suns either have to do him a favor or he has to force the issue. Neither seems likely. If I was Suns management, if he didn't press the issue, I would keep him until he decided to retire.

Title or no title, Nash is one of the best to ever do it.

Anonymous Matt said...
Dick move LeBron, but this kinda reinforces the idea that the Cavs had a shitty team around him. And lol at Dan Gilbert, I dont think they're winning a title before the Heat

Anonymous kazam92 said...
The Onion is funny. That stupid show is not

And I wanted to end the matter but let's be clear. LeBron has a massive ego problem and is in massive denial. When I saw him tweet that, I facepalmed. I can't deny that. But EVERYTIME he says something at all, the same discussion starts over. Oh FUCK him blah blah blah Let his plat talk for him is all I'm sayin.

Also don't hate on CJ. Of course its a biased article. The finsnation/miamiheatnation community is a passionate (with dick jokes) one.

Blogger chris said...
Lost in all the brouhaha of the King Crab tweet is this reality, one highlighted by that frightening blowout:

What do small-market fans really have to look forward to?

Either your franchise is incapable of existing without its biggest star (Cleveland), is incapable of taking advantage of the good times before the economy went bad (Sacramento), or is incapable of ensuring it's not sold to a mercenary who wants to move the team out (Seattle).

Only 8 teams have won the NBA championship since the Sonics won the last Mid-Market 1970s title (Los Angeles, Boston, Philadelphia, Detroit, Chicago, Houston, San Antonio, Miami).


Blogger Wild Yams said...
AK Dave - Like I said, I don't know what potential trade is out there that could turn the Suns into contenders, but I guess theoretically if the Suns were to go in a completely new direction they could use Nash to either pair with an unwanted contract (Josh Childress maybe?) to try to create cap space. Or maybe they could try to pick up draft picks.

I don't think the Suns could swap out Nash for another player who is going to suddenly turn Phoenix into contenders, so don't think I'm saying that. I think Phoenix has a lot of work to do personnel-wise before they'll be real contenders, and it will take a few years no matter what. Given that, it might be the best strategy to blow the whole team up and just try to position themselves well for the future, and it seems like as long as Nash is there they can't really do that. Hell, it wouldn't be fair to Nash to do it either. But if he's still there, then they're almost committed to staying stuck in the middle of the pack, which is really NBA no-man's-land: too good to get the best lottery picks, not good enough to make a run at the title.

There's no guarantees, of course, but if the Suns can't make a run at a title with Nash, then what are their options? Wait till he retires, with the whole fanbase holding their breaths till they're free to start over? Cortez is right: this is not Nash's fault, and I'm not condemning him. It's just that when you factor in Nash's age and the pieces the team has around him, I just don't think the Suns with Nash are gonna win a title. If I was a fan of the Suns, as much as I'd like to see Nash retire in Phoenix, I wouldn't want to just know the team will be mired in mediocrity until that happens, and only then could they begin the process of rebuilding. You gotta have something better to look forward to as a fan.

chris - If Stern has his way and the new CBA brings about a hard salary cap I think you'll begin seeing NFL-like parity in the NBA.

Blogger chris said...
Wild Yams: Would it be reasonable to say that the small-market teams' survival right now is entirely dependant on Stern getting a hard cap?

Blogger AnacondaHL said...
No, Yams. The NBA will not see NFL-like parity from a hard cap because of the inherent design of the game. 1) smaller rosters and only 5 men on court at the same time, where one elite player can dominate. Not even a quarterback has to play defense. 2) 100 scoring opportunities a game compared to 10-40 in the other sports.

Anonymous AK Dave said...

I understand your position- and it's true that PHX is the NBA equivalent of the Buffalo Bills in the Jim Kelly/Thurman Thomas era: not quite good enough to win it all.

Still, if PHX wanted to start over, they don't need to get rid of the only player who is willing to play any role asked of him and capable of contributing in ways that only a small handful of all basketball players on the planet can. And for a bargain price, btw (12.25 million- compare with e.g. Jason Kidd- 21mil+ or Mike "motherfucking" Bibby 14.9mil).

I'm just saying that PHX's decision to blow up the team and re-load is independent of its decision to keep Nash.

Now, whether or not Nash wants to deal with all of that and stay in PHX is anybody's guess. I suppose you honor his wishes if you own the Suns, unless you want to be known as a heartless dick (See: Sterling, Donald, collected works of).

As for PHX fans: the team is going to be mediocre for a while regardless of whether or not Nash stays. At least while he's there, you get to watch and cheer for one of the most exciting players in Basketball. If he goes, you have fucking Vince Carter.

Jesus. Vince Carter is like the NBA's version of an STD: he gets passed around when teams get in bed with each other, and whoever has him just wishes he would clear up and go away. Only he stays. And festers.

But I digress.


So in conclusion: PHX needs to re-build, but keeping Nash seems smart. He seems like a real positive influence on his team and if I were a coach, I would want him around in hopes he rubs off on other guys. Plus, as discussed, he's worth his salary, and keeping him on the books won't stop them from finding a replacement Amar''ee. I think they could move some players for draft picks and re-build with young guys while keeping Nash around.

But if he wants to chase a ring, let him go.

Blogger William Dorr said...
Just curious, but are you intentionally misspelling LaMarcus Aldridge's name, because I've seen you do this twice in the last week.

Blogger Wild Yams said...
AnacondaHL - I think if there was a hard cap and salaries were either non-guaranteed or the length of them was severely shortened (like none to last more than 2-3 years maybe), then you'd just see stars shuffling around the league continuously. Given that, I'd have a hard time seeing how any franchise could remain consistently good with anywhere near the ease that they can now.

AK Dave - I think the key is that Phoenix needs to rebuild, not reload. They've been reloading for years, literally years, but all they're doing is swapping equal pieces basically. They're like someone playing a video game who isn't happy with how it's going so they keep hitting the reload button over and over and over. They're gonna have to accept that they can't contend now, and need to write off the present with an eye toward the future. They could hold onto Nash while they do this, but I can't imagine he'd be happy to preside over a team that is just trying to clear as much cap space as possible while stocking draft picks as their win totals go down the drain for a season or two. I have to assume Nash re-signed with the hope that the Suns would try to be competitive during his contract.

That said, I have a hard time seeing either Nash or the Suns asking to part ways with each other, and I have no idea if anything will happen. I was just asking what Suns fans though. I can't imagine they're going to be happy with a couple more years of this just so long as Nash stays a Sun, but maybe I'm wrong. It sure wouldn't be the first time for that!

Blogger DocZeus said...
As a Cavs fan, I just want to ignore LeBron but he's doing his best for me to wish terrible, terrible injury upon him and his buddies.

As painful as last night's loss was the Cavs team that played the Lakers was not the team that won 66 and 60 games. It's a gigantic fallacy to make the simple deduction because Manny Harris et. all got demolished by the Lakers that LeBron was playing with subpar teammates.

First off, the Cavs were missing 7 (LeBron, Shaq, Z, West, Varejao, Gibson and Parker) key rotation players from last year's squad. As a result, the Cavs had 6 players(Harris, Gee, Eyenga, Hollins, Sessions and Samuels)log major minutes last night who not only never played with LeBron but wouldn't crack the rotation. 5 of those players have served time in the D-League this season including two of last night's starters.

In terms of legitimate NBA players, it was Mo Williams and Antwan Jamison (and to lesser extent, JJ Hickson) versus the two-time defending NBA champs. They were rightfully slaughtered last night.

Feel free to criticize the current incarnation of the Cavs but that was NOT last year's squad on the court.

Blogger DC said...
@The Other Chris

Come to think of it, you can even argue the T-Wolves are 9-30 because of what Kevin Love is doing in that picture. Look at it: he's boxing Michael Beasley, who's supposed to be defending Jefferson, and itching to get that rebound instead of actually, you know, helping on Jefferson. Help defense? You don't get a stat for help D unless you're a shotblocker. But ya gotta get dem boards!

Blogger Basketbawful said...
Just curious, but are you intentionally misspelling LaMarcus Aldridge's name, because I've seen you do this twice in the last week.

Ha! Yes. This is a joke that probably only I get. Goes back to my days writing for Deadspin. Some shithead gave me absolutely holy hell for misspelling LA's name. Like, he was sending me personal e-mails about it. Dunno why he was so upset. Maybe it was LA's mom or something, I dunno. But I try to misspell his name at least once a week for my own amusement. Seriously, if you go back through the archives, you'll probably find his name misspelled at least once a week during the regular season. Sometimes I quote him or his stat line just to work him into a post.

Petty? Childish? Well...yeah.

Blogger Dan B. said...
Bawful -- Hilarious because it's so petty and childish? Hell yes. I'm now going to keep an eye out for that.

Anonymous Phil said...
I know it's early, but if the Clippers do end up beating the Heat tonight I hope the LA Times headline reads "Karma's a B***h".

Anonymous Anonymous said...
Guess what Phil.