Thank God 1991 is long gone
Is it wrong to assume Dwayne Schintzius drove a bitchin' Camaro?
(Via Andy Gray's SI Vault)

Tragic news, as passed along by Basketbawful readers Preveen and NarSARSsist: Darnell "Lacktion" Jackson has been shipped to the NBA D-League. (Chris: And also noted by NarSARSist: Cedric "Lacktion II: Electric Boogaloo" Jackson's return to the undertier as well.)

...sad face.

This is horrible news, but also unsurprising considering that the Crabs are the same team who decided it was a good idea to set a world record for "largest gathering of people wearing fleece blankets." Yep, Snuggies.


Speaking of facepalms, we need something to cheer us up, and this ought to do it. AnacondaHL has decided the New Jersey Nyets need a new team logo. I agree, and wholeheartedly approve of his effort:

Worst of the Night in Pictures:

Caption This!
How in the world does Stan Van Gundy keep showing up so often in my Caption This! photos?

This man was stuffing the NBA Jam player voting ballot box?
(Seriously, Go vote like hell.)

Drew Gooden and the Clippers - a match made in heaven

"I'm a karate man! And a karate man bruises on the inside! They don't show their weakness."

You know, arguing with the refs via interpretive dance isn't any more likely to get a call changed

Nationally Televised Games:
Crabs at Celtics: Tonight we get to see the public debut of Brian Scalabrine's orange-hued body as he wears a spray-on tan. It is unknown if he followed through with the "gym" and "laundry" part of the Jersey Shore G-T-L routine.

Nuggets at Warriors: The Denver Nuggets are contenders to win a championship this year. The Warriors are contenders to pull my chicken nuggets out of the deep frier at McDonald's.

All The Other Games:
Bucks at Pacers: You mean the NBA and TNT didn't want this game to be on national TV? Huh. Wonder why?

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Blogger chris said...
With Scalabrine, somehow I don't think "gym" is a likely assumption. Unless he was trying to style out his Will Ferrell headband...

Anonymous NarSARSsist said...
The Warriors are contenders to pull my chicken nuggets out of the deep frier at McDonald's.
Good luck getting your nuggets. They'll probably find some way to lose them too.

Blogger Will said...
Caption: If Ron Jeremy is the Hedgehog, Stan Van Gundy is the Walrus.
Bonus Caption for the Gooden pic: He was going to block the shot, but Drew saw one of his homies in the crowd and had to give a shout out.

Blogger chris said...
As a huge fan of Genesis, I gotta see the video referred to here in this article on the Scal-Tan:

With the bet agreed upon, Toucher and Rich launched the “get that man a tan” campaign, complete with production pieces featuring Scalabrine asking for votes and singing Phil Collins and Vanilla Ice

woot woot

Blogger AnacondaHL said...
This week's NBA Jam voting is bad. Somehow there's 5 Mavs players that could be in, yet I only want to vote for 2 of them.

Blogger chris said... I notified Bawful and Dan earlier tonight...


I wonder if my dilligent lacktion track has finally woken the Grizzlies up to their second coming of Darko Milicic!!! (Or is that Sam Bowie?)

Blogger chris said...

TNT commentators on the Biedrins Watch!!!!

And just as they mentioned it, HE MAKES A FREE THROW! Stat curse on the broadcast booth staff again!?!?!?

Blogger Basketbawful said...
I officially throw in the towel on the Celtics. They're done.


Blogger chris said...
The booth on Denver finally breaking through the East Oakland 'efense -

"The size...they're starting to wear them down."


Blogger chris said...
Bawful: Ironically, they'd be better off in the West, where they seem to match up great with the Lakers.

...and that's about it. The Leastern playoffs will likely weed them out and send them to their rocking chairs and Segways after 1 or 2 rounds.

Blogger chris said...
Here's a stat that LotharBot will love:

The Nuggets won by 15 points, yet Malik Allen was a -16. HUH!?

Blogger Dan B. said...
Bawful -- I'd throw in the towel, but I'm too busy crying into it.

Blogger David Landon said...
Holy crap, Dwayne Schintzius! The only other NBA player besides Joakim Noah to fit the description "7-foot former Florida Gator with ridiculous hair"