Important note: Despite what you might be thinking, I am not getting paid for this post. I was offered one free product and the opportunity to give some of them away to readers. If I hadn't liked the product, I wouldn't have mentioned it. This is most certainly not the first in a line of product-related posts.

Like many pickup ballers, I recently starting shaving my head. Originally, I simply used an electric razor to release my hair demons about once every other day. Then I was sent a free sample of the Schick Quattro Titanium Trimmer. I figured "What the hell?" and gave it a try. It kind of rocked, actually.

To be honest, I haven't used a "standard" razor for years. I have exceptionally sensitive skin, and shaving with a non-electric razor usually means burns and bumps and annoying little cuts that won't stop bleeding for hours. But the SQTT sliced through my head stubble -- about two days worth of growth -- as efficiently as Ash's chainsaw arm cut through the Evil Dead. Only with, uh, less screaming and blood-spurting. On the first go-around, I didn't even use shaving gel. And although I don't recommend doing that on a regular basis, it did illustrate (for me) the smooth shaving ability of the SQTT.

As with many of today's next generation razors, the SQTT uses a four-blade system. It seems like that's the only way to upgrade shaving technology: Add another blade. How long will it be before our razors have five blades, or 10, or even 20? By the year 2015, shaving with a manual razor will probably be like sticking my face into a wood chipper. But in this case, the four blades were pretty effective; I got a clean, close shave on the top of my head and my face...sans bumps and cuts.

Moreover, the SQTT has a handy little battery-powered trimmer (AAA battery not included) with an adjustable comb so you can trim your beard/goatee to the desired length. You can even manscape with it. Unfortunately (for some of you anyway), as of this writing the SQTT does not come with a back-shaving attachment.

The company that sent me the SQTT has authorized me to give away up to 10 of these bad boys to my readers. So the first 10 of you who submit a piece of Karl Malone-related trivia to the Basketbawful email address will receive a free SQTT. Just be sure to include your snail mail address.

Update! It appears all 10 razors are now spoken for.

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Anonymous Anonymous said...
Will you send one to australia? haha less razors, more greg ostertag related material!

Anonymous Anonymous said...
I knew this day would come. You sold out. Damn man, that's really expected and not that suprising.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
In Salt Lake City the Stockton-to-Malone phrase is commemorated by a car dealership with the name Stockton to Malone Honda. The owner of the Jazz, Larry Miller, partnered with them to start this dealership. Some critics of Miller suggest that it was compensation for not being paid as much as other NBA superstars during their prime.

I dont want the damn razor. Sell out.

Blogger clicc916 said...
All you'd ever want to know about Karl Malone...a "news" site dedicated to the Mailer.


Anonymous Anonymous said...
Here's a piece of random trivia:

How many stitches did Isaih Thomas require after Malone knocked him upside his head in 1991?

Answer: 40

email: iakhnomatv@aquinas.org

Anonymous Anonymous said...
Karl Malone's demolition company actually helped demolish houses (that needed demolishing) in Louisiana/Mississippi for free, following Hurricane Katrina. I actually know someone whose house was demolished by the Mailman himself. How surreal.


3014 3rd Court E
Tuscaloosa, AL

Anonymous Anonymous said...
Here's two bits of trivia:

1. Karl Malone's middle name is "Anthony"

2. On Nov. 30, 2003, Malone became the oldest player in NBA history to record a triple-double. His line was 10 pts, 11 reb, and 10 asst.

Now give me that razor!

Blogger N. said...
5 blades is old.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
Will it leave my package ultra smooth?

Blogger AnacondaHL said...
Did you say 20 blades?