Whenever my dad ever heard something ridiculous, he would say "(insert phrase here) my necktie!" Example: In my youth, if I said "I'm a good driver" after my third fender bender in a year, my dad would say "Good driver my necktie!"

Well, Game 7 my necktie. That's all I have to say after watching NBA officials - who continue to make calls like blind men watching the game from the arena rafters through plastic cups half-full of beer - gift wrap game 6 for the Hawks.

In case you didn't know, I, evil Ted, am one of those sad sacks without cable TV. Anyway, I figured I'd venture out to the bar and watch the Celts put the finish on this abysmal series and move on to a more interesting challenge. Instead, I watched Paul Pierce foul out of the game on a play where he was ten feet from the action (if I were officiating a grammar school game and made even one inexcusable call like this I'd be beaten by angry parents in the parking lot), and then watched the Hawks drive and flail, drive and flail, drive and flail, and get call after call.

There's a reason the defensive flop and the offensive flail are so popular - because NBA officials are suckers for it, plain and simple. If NBA officials were teenage girls, they'd be constantly pregnant, because they'd believe every lie the horny teenage boys told them.

Here's your Domino's Pizza "Telling-stat-of-the-Game":
Joe Johnson: 4 for 13, 15 points. That means lots of free throws happening for these Hawks - 47 to Boston's 25, to be exact. Has Boston's defense suddenly started to suck? Or are we seeing what we see every time the NBA playoffs come around - teams desperate to win trying every lame tactic, particularly the flop and flail, to win at the foul line? This is what the league has become, rewarding teams that do this (hello Spurs!) and penalizing teams like the Celtics that are just out there trying to play - gasp - hard-nosed basketball.

That said, the Celtics need to find more poise down the stretch. In the last two minutes of tonight's game 6, they played frantically and out-of-control on offense, just like a team that hasn't been there before. Such play will not serve them well against the Cavs or Pistons...

...and mark my words, the Celtics will move on. With absolutely every advantage handed to them, the Hawks squeaked out game 6 by 3 points. They will not fare nearly as well in Boston.

And someone tell Zaza Pachulia to get off the basketball court and get into the ring with Clubber Lang.


Labels: , , , ,

Blogger stephanie g said...
It won't happen, but how amazing would it be for Atlanta to win the series in Boston in front of all the, as Bibby would say, bandwagon fans? Then the camera pans to KG looking at the ground, Pierce throwing up gang signs -- good times.

Oh, and KG has a huge case of Big Gameitis. All his intensity and passion and trash talking seems to fade down the stretch when the score is close. Amare, T-Mac and him should get that checked out.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
Almost everyone commenting on the Boston losses are pinning it on officials, which, of course, is ridiculous.

Was it a bad call? Yeah, probably...but it's not even remotely the reason they lost the game. They are losing because they don't have one guy to go to get it done, and neither KG, Pierce, or Allen are big-time players.

You absolutely MUST have a closer in the NBA playoffs, and they don't. Let's drop all this "officials are deciding the game" stuff. It's taking away from the bigger picture. Plus, you can get that kind of analysis at any basketball forum.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
Way to stick up for the little guy! Maybe at home the Celts will get the help from the refs they need to finally dispatch the Hawks.

Blogger CoCo said...
If you watched the game then you would have noticed the Celtics are a jump shooting team. Even Kevin Garnett! The Hawks have shot a lot of free throws in all of these games, even the losses. When the Hawks consistently lose their best players because of foul trouble in Boston I don't hear near as much sympathy.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
This could possibly be a little bit of Black and White Karma though, don't forget: KG did sort of lay an angry pimphand upon one of the refs, and despite Lord Stern's constant repetition of the fact that the Refs are in fact infallible officiating machines that cannot feel pain (or love), I've got a small feeling that one of the ref-bots contracted The Crawford Virus and may be getting a little something on em as payback for their fellow blind homies.

Is it professional? Of course not! But since when did Lord Stern worry about professionalism unless you hurt his feelings with a criticism so he could reap vengeance for it?

Another thought I had was based on some Stern Button concepts: Let's put Boston through all hell now, so A) Their story of triumph over the evils of small-market non-coastal basketball seems even sweeter, and B) When we really start to hand The Green Gods some ridiculous calls to their advantage, (Rasheed Wallace suspended for 5 games after helping up a referee who had been given a Pile Driver by KG) Sterny can point to Atlanta and say "Well, we were all over them then, so nyah nyah, n-nyah nyah! Go Big Markets!"

Anonymous Anonymous said...
Maybe if the Celtics stopped settling for jumpers all of the time and KG decided to pound it in the post more often, the free throw differential wouldn't be so great throughout THE ENTIRE SERIES. If you want to blame the refs, blame every single ref that participated in the series. Also, there should be no way the last foul on Pierce shouldn't have been called. Ten feet away from the action or not, bear hugs shouldn't be allowed. And if you want to talk about unfair officiating, remember the play where Josh Smith tries to draw an offensive foul on KG? The refs held their whistles, which is fine, but then Horford flies in with block with a little bit of hand-to-hand contact and a foul is called. Seriously though, the Celtics haven't been eliminated yet, you should hold your complaining. Especially since they shouldn't even be in a game 6 with the Hawks.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
wah wah wah wah wah

Sorry, but the Celtics shouldn't even be seeing a game 7 to begin with. 47 free throws is atrocious, but then again the Hawks are 10 times more athletic than the Celtics and are getting to the paint at will in the fourth quarter of games (in Atlanta)

And for the record, there is no team in the NBA more annoying than the Celtics. This has got to be the most classless bunch this storied franchise has ever hosted.

Whiny punk Ray Allen, to showboating taunting idiot Pierce, and don't even get me started on Garnett. I can't believe Stern didn't suspend him for the way he pushed away a ref in that minor scuffle where he got punked by a guy named ZAZA. So if anything, Garnett's lack of even getting a technical for pushing a ref is probably why the Hawks deserved so many ft's.

I hope either the Celtics get their butts handed to them by the Spurs in the finals, though the thought of KG going home again early so we don't have to see one of the most over the top/gimme a break clutchless idiots yelling and screaming at a #8 seed when really they have nobody to blame but themselves.

Sorry, but I hope a team like Detroit comes out of the east, one that actually plays the game properly, and doesn't rely on flashing idiot gang signs after every bucket, or popping jerseys against the lowly Timberwolves.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
Wow thats a lot of bias for the Celtics. Blame the officials all you want but it wasn't becuase of them that the celtics lost. What do you call the other 2 previous games in Atlanta. Boston lost because they choked in the 4th. Even in game 6 they had their chances to wrap up the game but what a surprise they still choked. It looks to me like the Celtics are becoming the Jazz. Able to win at home but not away. And what is up with all the Spurs hate? You praise Boston's defense (and all things Celtics) and put down the Spurs? The team who basically perfected the defense and team play that the whole league is trying to emulate? Boy, I wish the Celtics lose just so that you can kill yourself haha.

Blogger stephanie g said...
This comment has been removed by the author.

Blogger stephanie g said...
Don't worry guys. I'm pretty sure Boston is advancing, even if it takes Ray Allen shooting 40 free throws in game seven.

KG has been channeling his inner Dirk for most of his career by taking fadeaway 18 footers when it matters. This despite the fact he, unlike the big German, could theoretically work the post whenever he wanted because he has a solid toolbox of moves. He refuses to be a legendary player, yet he regularly shows flashes of what could be. Damn him.

Blogger Evil Ted said...
There's no doubt that the Celtics are partly to blame for this Game 7 foolishness (as I stated in the post). But to say they "settle for jumpshots" any more than any other team, please...KG's signature shot is a jumper, love it or not. Robert Parish's signature was a rainbow jumper - and he was pretty good, by my recollection. Ray Allen shoots the three (usually very well, but not last night). Pierce is the driver, and teams know it, so they focus on it. That's why consistent Rondo penetration in Game 7 will be critical. That's what she said.

People are saying this will be the "greatest choke of all time" if the Celtics lose. Please. They have a team of aged superstars who SHOULD have trouble putting away younguns like this. But if they pass this hurdle, I suspect it will be like Kansas dispatching Davidson in the NCAA tourney...once the monkey is off the back, they can play looser and better...

But don't underestimate the refs. Officiating styles encourage a trends. For years, NBA officiating has moved this league into flopping on D and flailing on O...just watch Kobe in any given night. And what I saw in that game last night was just a small piece of a large annoying trend that makes NBA ball so painful to watch. Flopping and flailing is annoying when inferior teams do it (Hawks), and down right infuriating when superior teams do it (Spurs).

Am I a Celtics fan? Uhm, duh. So when I see an annoying trend that appears to be a significant detriment to my team, I'm gonna rail about it even more.

There's a reason the Celtics won Game 5 by 25 points - they are the better team. And at home in Game 7, I expect them to prove it.

P.S.> Drop all this "officials are deciding the games" stuff? What world is it you live in where officials and umpires and referees and commissioners DON'T have a hand in deciding games? Ignoring officiating is like ignoring weather conditions - except, of course, that the weather conditions treat everyone equally. And don't compare Basketbawful to "any Basketball forum"...just because the great Basketbawful allows me to post here doesn't make him any less great. That kind of degradation cuts both ways; I can get your kind of analysis from any basketball fan. Literally. Have before. Will again. Snore.

Blogger 80's NBA said...
The "Big 3" are looking more like "Gang Green" against the young, athletic Hawks.

I forget who it was last night who had the ball at the top of the key, faced up against Garnett, then drove right by him and was ready to throw down a vicious dunk. Had it not been for a Perkins partial block (that caused the ball to bounce off the back of the rim), I think he would have ripped the rim off the backboard.

Blogger Unknown said...

Anonymous Anonymous said...
flopping isn't that hard to call, make it a 2 shot foul plus possession, and it will disappear in a year, tops, and the nba game will be sooo much better. for refs to call flopping, (esp in the playoffs) you have to pay them a lot more, and make it an expectation, along with calling travelling on all the 3 step wonders in the league, like lebrawn....if the refs let him take 3 steps before dunking in the first quarter, do you think ANYBODY is going to get in front of him? i'd rather get hit by a truck. boston in 7 with more even foul shots, grizzly detroit will take fuzzy orlando, celts over the lebrawns, and whichever group of grumpy old men are less damaged in the process will make it to the finals

Anonymous Anonymous said...
Evil Ted,

I said "you can get that analysis in any basketball forum" because Basketbawful IS a great site with really funny and great analysis. But just pinning outcomes on officials is the kind of stuff you find on some Celtic forum or any other team forum. I come here because this site is much different than that.

In any case, the Celtics are certainly not losing because of the officiating. Hawks are much more aggressive, and if anything, KG shoulda been suspended for 1 game.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
dear evil ted,

Your famed celtics have no defense in the paint (yes i said that), no leadership (kevin who? ,when the celtics are down in the 4th, garnett has the leadership skills of my 11 year old little sister), nobody that slashes to the basket (except for rondo in the first half last night), and most of all, no clutchness about them. Even if they beat the hawks, good luck against the other 3 teams that will destroy them.

Blogger samuelleejackson said...
I've been saying this about the Celtics all year: a large part of the great record they compiled in the regular season is because they played so much harder than their opponents (mostly to keep KG from killing them). That's all well and good.

But this is the playoffs. Everybody plays that hard (Denver and, to a lesser extent, Detroit excepted). Look at the Spurs - they take a couple months off every year, but come April and May, they have guys diving all over the floor.

Playoff basketball is about matchups and execution down the stretch. The Hawks appear to match up pretty well with the Celts, and as has been alluded to, Boston doesn't seem to have terrific execution in the 4th.

That said, they'll still probably come out of the East, as they look like the best team there. I don't want to hear about calls right now, though, as you're going to look foolish in a couple days - if game 7 is close, there is NO WAY that the refs don't hand this game to Boston in the Garden.

(That's right, I'm preemptively accusing the refs of homerism. Watch, I'll be right, too - such is the nature of big-market teams playing home games in the NBA.)

Anonymous Anonymous said...
And the only series to go to game seven, in what was supposed to be like the most competitive first round in playoff history, is the one series that NOBODY thought would be competitive. Nobody besides Josh Smith, anyways.

Wasn't it this blog that posted somebody else saying that the Hawks should run away before embarassing themselves in this series? Okay, so they've played like shit every game in Boston, and that probably won't change in game 7. But still, an eight seed pushing the team with the best record in the NBA to seven games is nothing to be embarassed about. Well, from the Hawks perspective, anyway.

Blogger Andrei said...
Ok, the Detroit-Orlando series is 6 minutes old and I'm already wondering, is there some special rule that allows Dwight Howard to hang out in the paint during the duration of the whole shot clock on the offensive end?

Anonymous Anonymous said...
"People are saying this will be the "greatest choke of all time" if the Celtics lose. Please. They have a team of aged superstars who SHOULD have trouble putting away younguns like this."

Woah, woah, woah, woah, I have no problem with you trying to defend the Celtics, but this is the stupidest statement ever uttered in Western Civilization. Let's look at this at a couple angles.

1) Ask any of the other 14 teams in the playoffs, they would rather face the hawks over their opponent for sure.
There's a reason why everyone thought that the east was a walk through for boston and detroit, while the west powers would beat up on each other.
2) The proposed "16 best records, no matter the conference playoffs": People wanted to implement this new rule for the sole reason to eliminate unworthy teams like atlanta and have teams like sacremento join the playoffs. When nobody thinks the team should even be in the playoffs, it's safe to say that they aren't a great team and the supposed "future champs" should walk over them easily.
3) Just go to the espn.com homepage for the boston/atlanta series. You'll see the expert picks and 8/10 experts said the C's would win in 4. The other 2 said in 5. I have not read a single preview that said the hawks would win or that the series would even go 6 deep. Even on the BDL preview, the atlanta blogger seemed that be happy getting 5 games out of the series. Saying that the C's were SUPPOSED to struggle is just stupid.
4) The players. They even said they expected this series to go 4. Even after they lost game 6, Doc Rivers came out and said that they should have won in 4. When the team still feels like it should have won in 4, I think it's safe to say that they should NOT have struggled against them.

Compare this to Dallas last year. All the experts did not expect a romp ala this series, many picked the series to go to the Mavs in about 6 games. That series, people knew the Mavs would struggle. This series is the complete opposite. Not a single person in the world, not even in the Atlanta locker room, beleived this series would be pushed to seven. This is why that this upset would INDEED be considered the biggest upset ever.

Blogger m. Alana said...
Evil Ted, you keep typing, but all I see is that entitled whining that Boston fans are so famous for.

The Celtics didn't score for several minutes in the fourth quarter of game 6 - I watched it. Do you think flopping on Atlanta's part did that? No. The Celtics are unclutch and the Hawks are faster and more athletic than they are - you drive, you get fouled, you shoot free throws. It's not a hard concept.

Blogger Nick Valluri said...
Today in the Hornets-Spurs game, they had to delay the game because after Hugo the Hornet jumped through a ring of fire they couldn't put out the fire and had to use extinguishers. After they resumed play, the players were falling on the court because of the remains. Reggie Miller had this to say: "The official is calling for the crew to come out because the players are slippering all over."

That's funny in itself, but then I looked up the word slippering.

A slippering is a metonymical term for the act of smacking the buttocks, or the hands, with a slipper as a form of corporal punishment. (Wikipedia)

Freudian slip, Reg?

Blogger Shrugz said...
Man, watching the NOH Spurs game
Everyone's such a WHINER omg pisses me off watching the spurs complain about everything.

Bowen does a Duncan face after a call and whines to the ref THEN he Hip checked Paul
dirty ass player if bowen wasn't on the spurs that team would be a little more likeable

Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Drop all this "officials are deciding the games" stuff?"


The Celtics have blown out the Hawks by over 20 points multiple times this series. They are by far the better team. They should have finished the hawks a long time ago, but they haven't taken care of business. Blaming the refs is just an attempt at deflecting blame. Maybe the officiating could be better, but ultimately it's the Celtics fault they're in this situation.

It's like waiting until the last night to write an essay and then the computer dies while you're typing it up. Sure, you can blame the computer, or Microsoft, or even your teacher. But in the end, if you handled your business earlier, you wouldn't be in that situation.

The Celtics simply took the Hawks too lightly. They gave a young, athletic team confidence, and now they're paying the price. If they came out with the same focus and intensity as in games 1 and 2, this series would be over. And there's no one to blame, but the CELTICS.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
Basketbawful, sorry to say this post is absolutely unworthy of your blog. Put a brake on Evil Ted, or you'll get the most of us angry in no time.
You know we (and by we I mean all the people who liked the Seven Seconds Suns) totally hate biased Celtics opinion. So the Celts lost to an inferior team because of bad officiating? All three games in Atlanta? Oh come on. They lost because of Doc Rivers, that is why. Anybody thinks that Pop would have lost more than one game (possibly, the first one, à-la Spurs-Nuggets) if he coached these Celtics against these Hawks? Yeah, me neither.
So, dear Evil Ted, put the blame on what you want, but remember that this Boston team is (even if they advance to second round, which they should and would) destined to get sent off the playoffs by a semi-bad coach (be it Flip or Brown). At this time, I find very likely a remake Spurs-Cavs. Ugly.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
Hey Mr Basketbawfull!

I know why Atlanta is down by 36 in the 4th quarter: they only play 4 players...well according to the ESPN NBA game cast at least! Check it out: http://i27.tinypic.com/34i4uo9.jpg (sorry for the bad quality)


Blogger Evil Ted said...
First, people tend to get unnecessarily insulting when blogs express opinions. Relax.
Second, I work fast and tongue in cheek. Anyone who gets insulted, well, wah.
Third, the Game 7 blowout I'm watching is a validation of everything I said, none of which involved blind adherence to the Celtics.
Fourth, anyone who automatically expected the Celtics to run over the Hawks has never paid attention to the NBA regular season vs. the playoffs, age vs. youth, home games vs. away games, or the psychology of competition, or the effect of officiating on that psychology - and perhaps has never even played basketball.
Fifth, if the Celtics keep playing this inconsistently, they won't get through another round.
Sixth, whatever hullabaloo said something about "unworthy of a blog" and "getting people angry" is engaging in meaningless scare tactics. This is an awful lot of comment traffic for the weekend, which is normally a very slow time, so cool.
Seventh, NBA officiating is still horrendous and a detriment to the game, and I saw tons of offensive flailing in Game 6 by the Hawks and until that NBA trend stops, I'm gonna gripe, because the sport is suffering. The team I like - the Celtics - is in the playoffs, and even now, I'm BARELY interested. There's a reason we call it Basketbawful - because the league got some stinky stuff about it. I want this game to be played better by all teams, and get frustrated by the way that officials - who are the arbiters of the way a game is played - not only allow it, but promote it.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
Fourth, anyone who automatically expected the Celtics to run over the Hawks has never paid attention to the NBA regular season vs. the playoffs, age vs. youth, home games vs. away games, or the psychology of competition, or the effect of officiating on that psychology - and perhaps has never even played basketball.

You're using a bit of a weasel word when you say "automatically expected." It's undeniable that most "experts," including those who were posted in this blog, assumed the Celtics would dispatch the Hawks in four. Almost nobody was willing to say even five. It's really easy in hindsight to say "well, YOU should have seen this coming!" but where was the commentary before the playoffs saying that the Hawks were going to dig in at home and steal all three games in Atlanta(not as in "refs stoled teh game" but more like "fought harder and won despite being not seemingly good enough to win," like how hockey fans refer to goalies as stealing games)? Saying the Celtics should be expected to struggle against Atlanta is fucking easy after the fact; it would have meant something if ANYBODY said it beforehand.

I agree that nothing should be expected to happen "automatically." However, even for those of us who factored in the youth vs. age, regular season vs. playoff, etc. there was little if anything to indicate that Boston would have such a difficult time.

Blogger Evil Ted said...
The Celtics stars are older, the Hawks stars are younger. The Celtics were sitting around at the end of the year, having clinched everything early, the Hawks scrapped to get in, and clearly were gellin' like Magellan at playoff time.

NO playoff series is a gimmie, in any professional sport. Had the Lakers been upended by the Nuggets, it wouldn't have been the greatest upset ever either. A professional basketball team that gets into the playoffs doesn't suck, no matter how many analysts say they do. By the same token, no teams are ever as good as analysts say they are, as we all learned quite effectively when the "greatest of all time" Patriots lost to the Giants.

The next challenges for the Celtics are more interesting, as they come across teams with more legit talent and experience. And any team with a player as dominating and relentless as LeBron can win any game, so if the Celts lose that series, it will certainly not be some historic upset either.

With the Celts-Cavs, it will be savvy team play vs. a bona fide basketball God, and it will be interesting to see how this plays out compared to last year's finals. If the Celtics continue their trend of sucking on the road in the playoffs, the Cavs will steal one in Boston and win in 6. If the Celtics can summon a little regular season road confidence, it will go 7, with the edge to the Celtics because they are at home.

If the Celts manage to get to, say, Detroit, then expect a war that could rival the old Celtics-76ers clashes in the 80's...assuming the Celtics can get more physical on offense. They still play a la-di-da, fade away jumper game on offense and will need to get a little more gritty and penetrating, but both of these ass-kicking defenses would produce some low scoring games which would, I believe, go 7, again with a Celtics edge with home court.

There, I've provided some analysis PRIOR to these series, ok? Get off my back.

And as for using weasel words, I'm a weasel, so no offense taken.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
The disadvantages of getting a much more popular site through the deadspin deal are now in full effect ;-)

Anonymous Anonymous said...
The Hawks lost to the Heat in the last week of the season while they were supposed to be scrapping to get in. Which is why it was posted in this blog(cross posted from another, I think Hardwood Paroxysm) that they should just forfeit rather than embarrass themselves against Boston. All signs at the time indicated a cakewalk for Boston, kudos to Atlanta for proving once again why "conventional wisdom" is usually retarded.