I was pretty excited to post the Kobe Bryant lowlight video earlier today. For me, that video was like Christmas, No Pants Day, and a bar mitzvah...all rolled up into one. But reader Nels disagreed. He thought the video was lame.
No offense - since I do like seeing Kobe shut down - but that's a pretty weak video. I mean, half of the players schooling him aren't even on those teams anymore, let alone still in the league itself. I mean, Steve Smith on the Blazers? John Stockton on the Jazz?
That comment was as disappointing as slipping your hand into a stripper's bra and instead of being greeted by a firm, erect nipple ready to chant out the letters in your name, you yank out a wad of sweaty Kleenex. Thanks for being my wet blanket, Nels.

How can you discriminate against that video just because some of the clips are a few years old? Is Mozart's music any less meaningful because he's a couple hundred years dead? Is an original work by Picasso any less stunning because he didn't paint it yesterday? And, even more importantly, is Kobe trying to rap any less hilarious because he did it in the late 90s? To each of these, I say: No.

But here at Basketbawful, we are nothing if not proactive in pleasing our audience. Therefore I give you this: a more up-to-date anti-Kobe video. It lovingly recreates the Lakers' first round playoff loss to the Suns, including several different angles and still shots of Raja Bell's infamous clothesline, which, frankly, I never get tried or watching. Enjoy!

Anonymous Anonymous said...
All I really meant by my first comment was that you could probably assemble a clip like that first one for Michael Jordan, Larry Bird, or any other HOFer if you just take random clips from any old game and put them together to make someone look bad.

However, I am glad to have inspired you to reach for new heights of Kobe-bashing-dom. Not everyone in the NBA has a video of them rapping poorly, and not everyone can show themselves being clotheslined from several different angles.

You've achieved a stunning turnaround in going from "trying a little too hard" to the classic moment of Tim Thomas cheering at Kobe's team's demise. Thank you (and me).

Anonymous Anonymous said...
if you look around you will find a ton of NBA players trying to rap some even worse than Kobe. But then again I used to wear skiing gogles on the top of my head when I was 9. So everyone has a pretty embarrassing moment that they would not like to share even NBA players.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
The Tim Thomas moment was amazing. I peed myself. As for terrible rappers, you can't judge kobe, there are too many of them in the NBA. Take this gem from TruWarrier (aka Ron Artest),
"I'm angrey so often,
do my smiles look fake,
I'm biten' off ears,
Like carrot cake"

Blogger Dre Baldwin said...
please tell e the name and artist of that song on the phx series video... u can post here or email me dreupt@gmail.com anyone thanks!