I was pretty excited to post the Kobe Bryant lowlight video earlier today. For me, that video was like Christmas, No Pants Day, and a bar mitzvah...all rolled up into one. But reader Nels disagreed. He thought the video was lame.
No offense - since I do like seeing Kobe shut down - but that's a pretty weak video. I mean, half of the players schooling him aren't even on those teams anymore, let alone still in the league itself. I mean, Steve Smith on the Blazers? John Stockton on the Jazz?
That comment was as disappointing as slipping your hand into a stripper's bra and instead of being greeted by a firm, erect nipple ready to chant out the letters in your name, you yank out a wad of sweaty Kleenex. Thanks for being my wet blanket, Nels.
How can you discriminate against that video just because some of the clips are a few years old? Is Mozart's music any less meaningful because he's a couple hundred years dead? Is an original work by Picasso any less stunning because he didn't paint it yesterday? And, even more importantly, is Kobe trying to rap any less hilarious because he did it in the late 90s? To each of these, I say: No.But here at Basketbawful, we are nothing if not proactive in pleasing our audience. Therefore I give you this: a more up-to-date anti-Kobe video. It lovingly recreates the Lakers' first round playoff loss to the Suns, including several different angles and still shots of Raja Bell's infamous clothesline, which, frankly, I never get tried or watching. Enjoy!
However, I am glad to have inspired you to reach for new heights of Kobe-bashing-dom. Not everyone in the NBA has a video of them rapping poorly, and not everyone can show themselves being clotheslined from several different angles.
You've achieved a stunning turnaround in going from "trying a little too hard" to the classic moment of Tim Thomas cheering at Kobe's team's demise. Thank you (and me).
"I'm angrey so often,
do my smiles look fake,
I'm biten' off ears,
Like carrot cake"