Like we mentioned a few weeks ago, Zach Randolph was too busy licking whipped cream off of a dead hooker to show up for the Trailblazers team photo shoot. The Blazers had only one recourse: they hired a stand-in with the intention of Photoshopping Zach's face in later. Well, thanks to the guy's over at Blazers Edge, you can now see the unalterred version of the Portland team photo. Not-Zach is standing in row two, third from the left. Shouldn't they have chosen someone, you know, fatter?

No Zach
Zach sure has thinned down...hey, wait a mintue!!

This goes right up there with all the great image alteration tragedies of the last 20 years, along with the time George Lucas replaced fat, old Anakin with young, bad-actor Anakin at the end of Return of the Jedi, the time the Government removed the Twin Towers from every movie ever made, and the time Playboy removed the hickey I left on Pamela Anderson's right boob.