View other results (tags: NCAA, Final Four, tournament, college basketball, worst team, March Misery)

Duquesne def Stony Brook 59-54:
Duquesne, after posting losing records in 19 of the last 20 seasons (!), squeak past the amazingly bad Seawolves. Its tough to contend with a Stony Brook squad that shot 33% and only had 2 players in double figures (
Mitchell Beauford and Tre 'Richie' Cunningham each had 10). But the Duquesne Dukes will still have the satisfaction of being the most dubious Duke in the country, worse than Duke University, Daisy Duke, Duke from GI Joe, The Rappin' Duke, and whoever else you want to name...

Good 'ol Duke: Almost as stiff as Duquesne's frontcourt. Almost.

Morehead State def St Francis (PA) 54-51: The poor Eagles...Kyle Macy resigned as head coach this month, and has officially had enough of your shit. But Morehead State did drop down and get their eagle on against St Francis, and narrowly avoided certain humiliation. St Francis' starters shot a combined 14-47 against a team that lost their season finale by 32 points. Wow...

Centenary def Jacksonville 63-46: Centenary ended the season with a 9-game losing streak, including 5 straight losses at home. But the Gentlemen's Chris Watson caught fire and scored 14 against a Jacksonville squad who shot 29% for the night and apparently, after posting one win on the season, have no concept of basketball whatsoever. Centenary is out and, somewhere, Robert Parish breathes a pot-filled sigh of relief.

Robert Parish analogizes Joe Kleine's contribution to the 80's Celtics

Savannah State def Morgan State 53-48: After seeing both of these teams shoot a combined 31% for the game, be thankful I don't have the power to organize such a tourney in real life. On the bright side, Savannah State was winless in 2005, so two wins in 2006 and losing games by an average of only 26 points (despite the 60 point loss to Oregon) is plenty to be thankful for. Savannah State's Javon Randolph led all scorers with 18 on 7/23 shooting. Randolph, according to the coach, is apparently the Tiger's closest thing to Allen Iverson, like the Vancouver Grizzlies closest thing to David Robinson was Bryant Reeves.