This is what it looks like when a team dies.
The Weather: After cheating all but about a thousand Charlotte area residents out of a gripping blowout of the Grizzlies, the weather robbed everybody in Atlanta of a thrilling matchup between two of the league's slowest teams (the Hawks and Bucks rank 25th and 24th in Pace, respectively). Until March 15th anyway. And did I mention Milwaukee is ranked 29th in Offensive Rating and dead last in PPG. How could you do this, weather? How could you?

The Philadelphia 76ers: Speaking of the weather, it limited the crowd of the Pacers-Sixers game in Philly to about 5,000 due to a pending snowstorm. Bummer, huh?

It was just as well, since the home team let Indy score 111 points on 51 percent shooting and end a nine-game road losing streak.

Homecourt fail.

By the way, I'm giving Andre Iguodala Worst Player of the Night dishonors for his triumphant return of one point on 0-for-7 shooting in 33 minutes.

Interestingly enough, the last time the Pacers won a road game was on November 30th against (of course) the Kings. Speaking of which...

The Sacramento Kings: Did you hear the news?! Arco Arena is going to be renamed Power Balance Pavilion. You know, after Power Balance bracelets. Basically, they're rubber bands that "improve" athletic performance, probably by reducing the weight of the athlete's wallet, leading to increased speed and vertical leap.

From their official Web site:

What is Power Balance?

Power Balance is Performance Technology designed to work with your body's natural energy field. Founded by athletes, Power Balance is a favorite among elite athletes for whom balance, strength and flexibility are important.

How Does the Hologram Work?

Power Balance is based on the idea of optimizing the body's natural energy flow, similar to concepts behind many Eastern philosophies. The hologram in Power Balance is designed to resonate with and respond to the natural energy field of the body.

Don't laugh. These claims may sound outrageous to the point of insanity, but they're real. Ever wonder how the Loch Ness Monster and Sasquatch have remained hidden all these years? Curious how Santa Clause delivers presents to every kid in the world in just a few hours? Have you questioned why the Dark Lord Satan hasn't dragged Kobe Bryant straight back to the pits of Hell from whence he came?

Here's the answer: They're all wearing Power Balance bracelets.

True story.

Anyway, the Kings must have been wearing Power Balance bracelets, because they went out and scored 133 points last night...

...but gave up 136 and lost to the Washington Wizards Generals.

The Minnesota Timberwolves: Wow. I mean, just, wow. Okay, so the Timberwolves had sliced and diced San Antonio's 16-point lead down to only six (68-62). Then, with about eight and a half minutes left in the third quarter, Minnesota native and NBA official Ken Mauer decided he had seen enough of the comeback.

Said Mauer: "YOU WILL RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH!" And he meant it.

Mauer tagged Darko Milicic and Corey Brewer with technical fouls for gesturing toward him on the same play. Timberwolves coach Kurt Rambis approached Mauer to discuss the techs and received two of his own (and the automatic ejection that came with them). Seconds later, Mauer T'd up Kevin Love because Love threw up his arms and yelled after Tim Duncan raped him on a rebound attempt.

That made a total of five technical fouls and one ejection in 10 seconds. Manu Ginobili drilled all five of the ensuing free throws and suddenly the T-Wolves were down 73-62. They played the Spurs even the rest of the way and lost 107-96.


Love -- who had yet another Animal-Style double-double of 20 points and 20 boards -- said: "I've never seen that before. Five in a row, that had to be a first. That was crazy."

Added Michael Beasley: "I've never seen that. Never. I've seen simultaneous Ts on different teams. But on the same team, that was a first. It's been happening all year. ... I don't like getting five Ts in 30 seconds, but you've got to see where the refs are coming from. If they feel you're out of place, they've been doing it all year."

Even Manu felt a little bad for the Timberwolves.

"I was glad it was us shooting," Ginobili said. "It was kind of awkward. It was strange."

The Phoenix Suns: This is getting uglier by the day. The Suns appeared to be catching the Nuggets at just the right time. Denver was mired in a three-game losing streak and, with Carmelo Anthony trade rumors swirling around, the ship appeared to be going down faster than the Titanic. Sure enough, Phoenix raced out to a 32-20 lead after one quarter...

...then got outscored 82-40 in the second and third quarters.

The Suns shot 36 percent while the Nuggets shot nearly 56 percent. The 44 points Denver scored in the second quarter represented a season high. Carmelo Anthony had a double-double (28 points and 10 boards) and Arron Afflalo made it fucking rain, scoring a career-high 31 points on 11-for-14 shooting. In fact, Afflalo, a shooting guard, outrebounded Suns starting Center Robin Lopez 9-1.

It was that kind of night.

From the Elias Sports Bureau (via ESPN Stats and Information):

The Nuggets trailed the Suns 32-20 at the end of the first quarter, but rallied to win, 132-98. Denver set an NBA record during the shot-clock era for largest margin of victory for a team that was behind by at least 12 points heading into the second quarter.

By the way, that 34-point margin of defeat was the largest ever suffered by Phoenix against the Nuggets. Historic fail.

Said Steve Nash: "It feels like there's a little lack of cohesion and chemistry. I don't feel like we're getting that performance and effort that we're accustomed to, and that's disappointing. It seems like when we lose the momentum, we just go downhill fast. It's like we stop believing. We're all concerned and disappointed. We've got to keep fighting; that's all we can do. You can't cry about it; you've got to keep fighting."

I'm pretty sure that's what Apollo Creed was thinking right before Ivan Drago beat him to death.

As for that "lack of cohesion and chemistry" Steve is talking about, Robert Sarver let STAT walk, then overpaid for Channing Frye and Hakim Warrick, then traded for Hedo Turkoglu, then flipped Turkododo and Jason Richardson -- who was probably their best player not named "Nash" -- for Vince Carter, whom the Magic were eager to dump because he's limping his way to the NBA Glue Factory.

There's no cohesion because shit doesn't stick.

The Cleveland Cavaliers: When the Mayans prophesized an apocalyptic, worldwide disaster in the year 2012, maybe they were right. Maybe they just overshot the mark by a year. And maybe that "apocalyptic, worldwide disaster" they predicted was actually the Cleveland Cavaliers. It makes more sense than John Cusack outrunning an earthquake, right?

Anyway, I keep thinking things can't possibly get any worse for Cleveland. I just keep thinking it. And I keep being wrong. So very, very wrong.

Heading into last night's game against the Lakers in L.A., the Cavaliers had lost 10 straight and 19 of their last 20 games. They were already an NBA-worst 8-29. On top of that, they were without starting center Anderson Varejao, who tore a tendon in his right ankle while running at practice, Joey Graham (right quad strain), Daniel Gibson (left ankle sprain), Leon Powe (right torn meniscus) and Anthony Parker (lower back strain).

And the Lakers beat them. And beat them. And beat them some more. The Cavs scoring, by quarter, went: 12, 13, 16 and 16. They finished with 57 points. And lost by 55.

Said Kobe Bryant: "You don't ever imagine something like that."

Somebody call 911 for the Cavaliers. Actually, forget it. It's too late for that. The box score reads like an autopsy report. None of Cleveland's starters scored in double figures. In fact, that unit combined to shoot 8-for-37. Some cat named Samardo Samuels came off their bench and went 1-for-12. It was just a remorseless slaughter. The Lakers pummeled them to death the way that, well, Ivan Drago pummeled Apollo Creed to death.

Sorry. I couldn't help myself.
More autopsy details from ESPN Stats and Information:

The Los Angeles Lakers made it look easy against the Cleveland Cavaliers Tuesday night at Staples Center winning 112-57. The 55-point win was the largest margin of victory in the NBA in nearly 13 years. The last time a team won by 55 or more points was on February 27, 1998 when the Indiana Pacers defeated the Portland Trail Blazers 124-59.

Cleveland's 57 points Tuesday was its fewest in franchise history. It was the fewest points the Lakers have allowed in the shot-clock era (since 1954).

The Cavs were 1-14 from 3-point range, committed 19 turnovers and scored just 25 points in the first half. Prior to Tuesday, Cleveland was 8-3 in its last 11 games against the Lakers scoring no fewer than 88 points in each game.

Here's more wood on the fire from Brian Kamenetzky of Land O' Lakers:

Since the advent of the shot clock (lest you think it recent, it's been around since the '54-'55 season), the fewest points allowed by the Lakers was 66. Tonight, they flat dusted that mark. Cleveland scored 12 points in the quarter, then 10 in the second. Coming out of the break, they EXPLODED for 16, and managed to repeat the feat in the fourth. Was it great defense? Incompetent offense? Something in the water?

I will say I witnessed quite simply the worst play I've ever seen at the NBA level, when Ryan Hollins, after blocking Kobe Bryant underneath led the Cavs up court, flanked by teammates on each side. He proceeded to more or less hand the ball to Pau Gasol, stationed about three-quarters of the way up to half court. Gasol flipped it to Kobe, who popped the ball off the backboard to Andrew Bynum for a dunk.

Effectively, Hollins turned a five-on-two break into a three-on-oh the other way as James Naismith flopped like a landed trout in his grave.

Said Cavs coach Byron Scott: "I thought that was embarrassing. I told them at halftime, 'You look scared. You look flat-out scared. You're playing against the world champions, and instead of just competing and playing hard, you look scared. You look scared to death.' That was my take on it, as simple as that. We knew it wasn't going to be easy, but to come out and not compete? There's no excuse for that. I'm embarrassed because of the way we performed. I'm a Cleveland Cavalier right now and the way we performed last night, that's embarrassing to me. I had one other team [New Jersey] come in and I thought we looked a little nervous. But that was the NBA Finals. I haven't had another team come in and look that scared."

You think that sounds bad?

Added Antawn Jamison: "It can't be any worse than this. If it is, someone will have to help me because I don't know how much of this I can take. This by far is rock bottom. It's definitely by far one of the most embarrassing moments that I've been a part of as far as basketball."

And this is from a guy who spent a combined 10-plus years playing for the Golden State Warriors and Washington Wizards Generals. Dude was on a 19-win team that started the seaon 6-30. Then he was the leading scorer on a 17-win team that lost 32 of its last 34 games...a stretch that included losing streaks of 8, 11, and 13 games.

So, yeah, Antawn knows what rock bottom is. And this is it.

Update! More angst from Antawn: "Fifty-five points? That's, like, impossible. We're professional athletes. How do you lose by 55 points? I don't care who you're playing against. I mean, if this doesn't hurt...I don't understand how we're able to have conversations in the locker room. There's nothing to talk about. We have to do some soul searching quick because no matter who we play, right now they feel like they can beat us. If we don't have a sense of pride and just play for yourself or something...this might be one of the worst teams to go through a season. The frustrating part about it is I know we're better than this. I don't know. Something has to change."

Update! Mo Williams Tweeted about what happened: "This shit is embarrassing. I feel like I can't even show my face in Cleve."

You know it's bad when you feel like you can't show your face in Cleveland.

LeBron James: He could have left it alone. He could have kept his damn mouth shut for a change. If he was going to enjoy Cleveland's abject and utter misery, he could have done it quietly behind closed doors. But remember: This is a guy who castrated his hometown in an hour-long, ego-stroking infomercial that aired on ESPN. So, if anything, when LeBron James decides to be an asshole, he opts for maximum exposure of his royal sphincter.

And so here's what he Tweeted after the Cavaliers were executed in L.A.:


We thought LeBron couldn't be a bigger asshole after this summer? Epic fail.

That's all he is, by the way. An asshole of biblical proportions. I was listening to Mike and Mike on ESPN Radio this morning, and Mike Greenberg's take was that LeBron is embracing the role of the villain. But Greenberg is wrong. Bill Laimbeer? That dude loved being a villain...and he never pretended otherwise. King Crab, on the other hand, is a villain pretending to be the wronged hero.

Which means, yeah, I respect Laimbeer more than LeBron.

What's more, he's an idiot who obviously doesn't know anything about karma beyond what he's heard in sound bites or read in a fortune cookie. Still, if 'Bron's version of "karma" really is in effect, I expect an anvil to fall out of the sky and land on his fat head any minute.

Update! I probably should have mentioned this already. But 'Melo got all Tweet-happy last night too. Here's what he was e-chirping (H/T Karc):

First they love you, then they hate you..............

Not complaining just a real statement

die a hero or live long enuff to become a villain

Far from letting it get to me. Can't a MF just vent. Damn. Lol

Now AnacondaHL has come through with even more updates:

Further on Melo's tweeting:

"You can be a delicious, ripe peach and there will still be people in the world that hate peaches.....lmao"

...followed by him changing his profile picture to literally a bunch of peaches. Wow. Next he'll be trying to tell us about how great Linkin Park speaks to him.And

Lebron's Ego with yet another fantastic followup:

"YES I'M HAPPY CAVS LOST BY 55. CAVS NEVER DID NOTHIN 4 ME ASIDE FROM PAY ME MILLIONS & BEND TO MY EVERY WHIM SO GOD WAS MEAN TO THEM LOL."

Who said psychological train wrecks aren't fun to watch?

The Portland Frail Blazers: The Brandon Roy-less Blazers had an offensive meltdown (35 percent from the field and 4-for-18 on threes) and the Knicks beat 'em in Portland. Blah, blah, blah.

Said Blazers coach Nate McMillan: "I thought we looked mentally fatigued. We were just a step slow in everything we did."

Added LeMarcus Aldridge: "We just didn't make shots. I tried to force the issue going to the basket, took some shots that probably couldn't go in, but I didn't want to just take jump shots over and over. It was tough."

Update! Antoine Walker: From Basketbawful reader Little Keith:

Just making sure everyone is aware of Antoine "toine" Walker's performance from The D-League's Showcase tonight:

7 pts (2-13 shooting, 1-6 on 3's)
3 rebs
2 asts
2 blks
4 PFs
10 TOs
-13 +/-
34+ minutes of "playing" time

Update! Allen Iverson: From Basketbawful reader roland deschain of gilead:

Allen Iverson Update!!!

He is injured on his right calf muscle and will possibly need surgery. Out for at least two months.

Meanwhile his team Besiktas is 9th in the 16-team Turkish League.

He played 7 games with 32 mins/game (40 min games). Averaging around 14.3 points, 2.7 rebounds, 4.7 assists, 1.7 steals and 3.3 turnovers with 23/52 44% 2 points - 9 / 21 42% 3 points and 27/37 73% free throws.

Chris's Lacktion Report:

Pacers-Sixers: Andres Nocioni notched a giveaway in 2:48 for a +1.

Purple Paupers-Generals: Hilton Armstrong commandeered a 3:39 stay in the ledger despite an assist, by fouling once for a 1:0 Madsen-level Voskuhl.

Spurs-Wolves: Chris Quinn heaved two bricks with all his might for a +2 in 1:31, the same time span it took Tiago Splitter to garner a 1.5 trillion.

Labels: Cleveland Cavaliers, Lebron James, oh my god the officiating is terrible, The Best Worst of the Night Ever, The Night Defense Died

LeBron sure is excited about that all-you-can-eat popcorn shrimp buffet...
Editor's note: This post contains 30 percent fewer fart and penis jokes. You know, in honor of the holiday. Also, Wild Yams continues to cover the Fakers.

Stan Van Gundy and Orlando's end-of-game defense (Game 2): Game 2 was almost a mirror image of Game 1, with the Crabs scurrying out to a huge first-half lead -- 23 points this time -- and the Magicians rat-a-tat-tatting their way back into it. (Is a great three-point shooting team EVER really out of the game?) Orlando cut the lead to 12 by halftime, to 6 by the end of the third quarter, and then tied the score (at 84-84) midway through the fourth. It was back-and-forth for the remainder of the quarter, and then Hedo Turkoglu nailed a three with about 48 ticks left to tie the score at 93-93.

Then there was a flat-out "I do NOT believe they just called that" moment as LeBron traveled en route to an apparent go-ahead layup...and the refs actually blew the whistle. (It was the correct call, so here's a wag of the finger to the Associated Press for saying it was "one of several calls that could have gone either way in a second half filled with whistles." Stating that a clear and obvious violation "could have gone either way" is sort of like suggesting that maybe it shouldn't have been called. Anyway...) After that, the Turkish Assassin hit another superclutch bucket to put the Magic up by 2 points with one second left. That's it. The Magic had to defend the ball for only one more second and they would have taken a 2-0 series lead back home for Game 3. But, well, you know...


Okay, sure, it's an amazing shot, particularly since King Crab isn't exactly an automatic basket from long distance. But there were so many things wrong with Orlando's defense on that play, even Joe Biden couldn't count them all. Here's Basketbawful reader J.R.'s take: "Great shot by LeBron. But it's hard to fathom the bawfulness of Orlando's one second of non-defense on that final play. Why in the world was Turkoglu guarding LeBron? Pietrus had been doing a good job on King James down the stretch, and last time I checked Turkoglu has never been confused with Bruce Bowen. But worst of all, they gave Mo Williams A FREE LOOK FOR THE INBOUNDS PASS as Rashard Lewis just stood five feet away guarding nobody. Too bad there haven't been any recent examples of tall defenders bothering short inbounds passers in endgame situations..."
I'm guessing that he reason Van Gundy put Hedo on LeBron was because of his length, which, in theory, would make him tougher to shoot over. And yet, here's a quick quiz: Didn't the Magic sign Pietrus last July because he's supposedly a lockdown defender? Quick answer: Yes. But that said, I was troubled more by the fact that the Magic essentially conceded an inbounds pass to the league's MVP. I will never understand why so often the guy guarding the inbounds pass doesn't do anything. I mean, seriously. There are two options: Either get right up on the guy passing the ball so he can't get the angle he wants or double on the opposing team's biggest threat. Lewis didn't do either. He just stood their. Honestly, it was the worst ending I've seen since the Walker Texas Ranger movie.


Van Gundy screwed up big time...and he knows it. "I'd like to have that last one back from a coaching standpoint. I should have defended it differently. It's crushing enough to lose as a coach, but when you feel like you're the guy who could've made the difference, it hurts a lot more. I just want to win and we should have won." Note that if the Magic go on to lose this series, that one second of lousy defense will probably be the reason why.

Dwight Howard (Game 2): He had a MAN-type rebounding game (18), but he scored only 10 points (3-for-8) and had more blocks against (3) than blocks (2). I've got to tell you, Dwight's offense in these playoffs has gone a long way in explaining why Shaq gets pissed every time somebody compares him to Howard.

Friday lacktivity report: From Chris: "Tony Battie continues his playoff lacktivity with a 3.8 trillion, while preemptive human victory cigars Daniel Gibson and Tarence Kinsey each crawled onto the Power Pad for a sixteen-second dash as Mario Brothers, motivating King Crab to rescue the crustaceans at the last minute!"


The Denver Nuggets: Fresh off stealing home court advantage from the Lakers in Game 2, the Nuggets decided to give the Lakers a "welcome to Denver" present by giving it right back to them in Game 3. The good news for the Nuggets is that even though they don't have HCA anymore, the road team is now 2-1 in this series, so maybe they can pick it back up when they go to L.A. for Game 5. The bad news for Denver (and for anyone who's an NBA fan) is that the refs probably played too big a role in this game; whether it was because they were just worried things would get out of hand, or whether they thought the Lakers were due up for some good ol' road cookin'. Either way, the Lakers enjoyed a 45-31 free throw edge (not that they took advantage of it, since they missed 14 of those tries), and Chauncey Billups was the only Denver starter who didn't pick up at least 5 fouls (two starters, Kenyon Martin and Carmelo Anthony, fouled out). Maybe the fact that the road team has had more free throw attempts in every game in this series is why they have won 2 of 3. I'm just sayin'.

The officials aside, the Nuggets had every chance to win this game anyway, and just like in Game 1, they pissed those chances away. To start with, Denver was out there shooting so many bad threes that you almost thought Antoine Walker and Jason Williams were playing for them. JR Smith, Carmelo Anthony and Chauncey Billups combined to go 5-24 from three, and you don't need John Hollinger's calculator to tell you that's bad. Anthony Carter and Linas Kleiza (unable to recreate his Game 2 performance) also poured in three misses, to give Denver a 5-27 performance from distance on the night. On the bright side, at least the Birdman didn't attempt one.

Much like Game 1, the Lakers won this one on the back of Kobe Bryant, who spent so much time at the free throw line they should have just honorarily named it after him. Kobe found that with Melo saddled with foul trouble for much of the game he had a much easier time against the likes of JR Smith and Dahntay Jones (who also combined for 9 fouls). The Lakers also got great play from Trevor Ariza and Pau Gasol (with his series-high in points and his third double-double in all three games in the WCF), but they didn't get much help from anyone else. It was an odd game in that Denver had much more well-rounded contributions, but for the first time in the series lacked a real standout performance from anyone (other than maybe Chris Andersen), and it ultimately cost them the game and the series lead. Despite the good balance from Denver, not everyone played well, beginning with...

Kenyon Martin: K-Mart actually played a pretty good game at the defensive end of the floor, but on offense he was awful; and he finished the game off by doing an Anthony Carter impression that Nuggets fans could have done without. Martin was 3-10 for the game to finish with as many fouls as he had points (6). I'm sure Nuggets fans are wishing he'd fouled out sooner than he did though, since his play on an inbounds pass with the Nuggets down 2 with 37 seconds to go, pretty much cost Denver the game. Keep in mind that preceding this play the Nuggets had called a timeout and drawn up a play, but K-Mart was unable to find anyone to pass it to so they had to call a second timeout to avoid getting a five second call. So here you go, after not one but two timeouts, here is what Neck Lips did with the game on the line:


If just turning it over and giving the Lakers free throws wasn't bad enough (actually it could have been a clear path foul after all, since it looked Melo might not have grabbed Ariza till he was across half court), it forced Melo to use his 6th foul to prevent the layup, taking away the Nuggets best and most clutch player for the end of the game. K-Mart then fouled out himself 14 seconds later for intentionally fouling Kobe after the game was effectively over. At least K-Mart was able earlier in the half to bait Derek Fisher into a technical foul by shoving him in front of the referee.

JR Smith: I understand that the Nuggets really need Smith to get going in this series if they want to give themselves a chance to win, but lately Smith has been looking about as useless on the court as Sasha Vujacic; and like The Machine, Smith just kept firing in Game 3 even though they weren't falling for him. 2-10 from three point range and only 4-15 overall is not what his team needs (it also doesn't help when one of his threes has a point given back due to Smith getting T'd up for taunting afterward). With his shot not falling he should focus more on defense, but helping to allow Kobe Bryant to get 41 points shows poor play at both ends of the floor. The worst thing about the 15 shots Smith took is that you can't help but feel they may have come at the expense of someone else on the team getting touches, namely...

Carmelo Anthony: His streak of 30-pt games was halted at 5 after he only had 21 points in Game 3, and that was largely due to the fact that he only got 13 shots for the game. Even worse for the Nuggets is that 14 of Melo's 21 points came in the 1st quarter, which meant he was largely invisible for the rest of the game. There's no denying that Melo definitely stepped up huge in both games in LA, to the point where he'd started to enter the whole LeBron-Kobe-Wade discussion, but a game like this makes you remember why he's never been a part of that before now. The foul problems hurt, but the guy did still play 37 minutes for the game (second only to Chauncey Billups for the Nuggets). The bottom line is that he needs to get more shots, and his teammates need to make sure that happens.

The Lakers' point guards: I've been talking about it for a while, and I noticed that the TV crew made menion of this before Game 3, but it really is a risky thing to try to have a three man rotation at one spot at this time of the year, and you only need look at the production of the Lakers' point guards in this game to see why. Derek Fisher finished with 4 points in 26 minutes, Jordan Farmar finished with 2 points in 14 minutes and Shannon Brown finished with 2 points in 8 minutes, as the trio went a combined 4-12 for the game. They did contribute in other areas (Fisher had 3 steals, Farmar had 3 assists and Brown had a block), but in the Lakers offense they need these guys first and foremost to hit wide open shots, especially from downtown (where these guys were 0-4), and they just didn't do that.

Sasha Vujacic: Another game in which he had at least as many missed shots as points. I'm not sure what in his recent play made Phil Jackson decide he needed twice as many minutes in Game 3 as he got in Game 2, but maybe The Machine has some compromising photos of Big Chief Trianlge. Or maybe Phil is senile.

The soon-to-be classic "player with arms out complaining" stock photo.
The Cleveland Cavaliers (Game 3): Okay, what happened to the team that was steamrolling its way to the NBA Finals? Could it be that bullying lousy teams like the Pistons and Hawks made the Crabs look a helluva lot better than they actually are? I'll let you answer that question for yourself. (Here's a hint: Yes.) There's no big story here. Cleveland simply got outplayed...despite a few iffy calls that might've gone their way. (Like, for instance, that truly bawful call that fouled out Dwight Howard. If Superman had gotten any more ball on that play, we probably would have found out afterward that Dwight's hand WAS the ball.) The Craboliers got a near triple-double out of King Crab (41/7/9), but shot 37 percent as a team, missed 21 of their 26 three-point attempts and blew nine free throws. That's not how you win on the road in the NBA playoffs.

Even more damning is that this loss came in the face of constant foul trouble for Dwight (who played only 27 minutes), a gak-inspiring shooting performance by Turkoglu (1-for-11) and 12 bonked FTs by the Magic as a team. And oh sweet Lady Marmalade, what an ugly game this was: 86 free throws attempted, 58 personal fouls called, two technicals, and a flagrant. Oh, and about 726 player complaints to the officials. It was painful. I've have hangovers that were more enjoyable to sit through than that friggin' mess. Let's not forget, also, that the flagrant I mentioned resulted in blood, stitches and an ejection:


I guess that's what Mo gets for throwing the ball at Howard in Game 2...

LeBron James (Game 3): Yes, he was his team's main man last night, but he missed more field goals (17) than he made (11), went 1-for-8 from downtown (you gotta stop shooting them at some point, 'Bron) and bricked 6 free throws, including two in a row with under two minutes remaining and his team down 92-86. Must have been for that Game 2 game-winner...

Everybody on Cleveland who isn't LeBron James (Game 3): Remember all the hand-wringing that went on in Cleveland when Mo Williams wasn't named an All-Star on the first go-around last February? Well, the coaches were right the first time. And Mo sure didn't step up last night: 15 points on 16 shots, 3-for-10 from distance and a game-high 5 turnovers. Delonte West had more fouls (5) and TOs (4) than assists. Big Z went 3-for-10 from the field (including a trio of missed threes) before fouling out in 30 minutes. Sideshow Bob finished with more fouls (6) than points or rebounds (4 each). The bench shot 4-for-11 and finished with more fouls (10) than points (8). Is this REALLY the best team in the league?!

LeBron's amazing "block from behind" on Courtney Lee: NBA.com made this their block of the night:


I just want to remind everybody that when ANY part of the ball is over the cylinder on a shot attempt, touching it is a goal tend. But whatever. Orlando got the offensive board and Rafer Alston hit a jumper less than 10 seconds later. And Courtney Lee learned a valuable lesson: Dunk that ball home next time. And he did (welcome to the poster, 'Bron):


Random playoff thoughts: From Stephanie G:

1. The Cavs are playing like a team with Mo Williams as their second best player.

2. The highlight of the Birdman's twitter page: "We're going nuggular at your jugular."

3. Game 3 of Cleveland-Orlando by the numbers: both teams combined for 98 FGA, 43 3PA and 86 FTs. How is that even possible? That's an abomination. The most pathetic fact is that LeBron had by far his worst shooting performance of the entire playoffs (11-28, 39%) but that was still somehow better than the rest of his team put together (18/50, 36%).

4. The refs in the whole playoffs but particularly in the Cleveland/Orlando series have been god awful. Can I get an amen? How can the NBA look at this and say yeah, this is an acceptable product, let's not try to change anything next year? Games nowadays seem to mostly consist of players complaining to the refs all night, making pained faces, and flopping trying to bait calls, like a game within a game. And then pretty much every game thread on the two forums I visit are composed of people legitimately bitching about the refs anyway. It doesn't help that it seems most of the refs are in their 70s and that LeBron is approaching Wade 2006 "I can do whatever I want and it's a foul on you" mode.

5. Orlando is probably the hardest team to rig against, from a conspiracy nut viewpoint -- they just keep draining threes, which forces the refs to make more absurd calls. Even all those phantom fouls against Dwight weren't enough in the end.

6. Tell me I'm not the only one rooting for an Orlando-Denver finals out of spite for this whole contrived LeBron/Kobe propaganda campaign. I want to see vitamin water execs and the smug talking heads on ESPN jumping out of windows.

Sunday lacktivity report: From Chris: "As Orlando held home court for Game 3, the same folks as the last battle snapped into lacktion, with a new face joining the fray. Tony Battie followed up his wealth-seeking expedition with a 58-second quest through the Mushroom Kingdom for a one-foul/+1 suck differential Mario, also counting as a 1:0 Madsen-level Voskuhl. Also exploring the realm of Giant Land was Tarence Kinsey, who made one giant crawl towards lacktion immortality with what appears to be a one-foul/+1 SUPER MARIO GALAXY of less than a second!!!!!! Daniel Gibson once again continues to avoid contribution, this time clawing out a brick from downtown for a +1 in 2:56. And Anthony Johnson spent a full 6:16 lacking it up with four bricks (twice from the charity stripe) and two fouls for a +6."

Labels: Cleveland Cavaliers, Denver Nuggets, Los Angeles Lakers, oh my god the officiating is terrible, Orlando Magic