Mark Jackson
This man is wanted for criminal hyperbole and,
potentially, the utter destruction of your liver.

Editor's note: I will be updating the list this weekend. Feel free to continue submitting ideas.

Loyal reader stephanie g invented this brilliant (but rather dangerous) game, the rules of which are described below. However, I must include a note of caution from the author herself: "I really don't recommend playing it though, you'd be in a coma by half time." Or by the end of the second quarter...whichever comes first. Now, onto the rules:

Take a shot if he says something along the lines of:

"He's a winner."

"He just gets it done."

"When his number is called he's ready."

"They just gotta come out and compete."

"Just because [Player A] is better than [Player B] doesn't mean he can't come out and outplay him."

"...and it's not even close."

"Momma, there goes that man."

"Excuse me, I have a meeting with the rim!"

"You're better than that!"


"Allen Iverson, pound for pound, is the best player in the game."

"Don't take your frustration out on the refs, take it out on the rim!"

"Come get in my poster!"


"That's a grown man move right there."

"He's a knockdown shooter."

"The best player has to set the tone for this team."

"When his number is called he's ready."

"...if you come out and compete anything can happen."

Down the entire bottle if he says:

"Kobe Bryant is the best player on the planet."

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From You Been Blinded: Sir Charles isn't merely a selfless benefactor. He's also a matchless party machine. For instance, watch Sir Charles chug enough Patron to kill you, several of your closest friends, and a small forest animal.

Now, I know what you're thinking, but don't worry. No matter how drunk he gets, he's done with gambling. Forever. Seriously.

In case you were wondering, this all went down at the American Century Championship, a celebrity golf tournament at Lake Tahoe. According to ESPN the Magazine, he was pouring out shots to pretty much everybody...on his tab (which reportedly reached $10K). Now that's a guy I'd like to party with, even if the night ended with Barkley throwing me through a plate glass window.

By the way, I remember that "fight" from when it happened, and it's been referenced many times since. (Barkley himself has said that "People always ask me if I had any regrets in my career. Remember when I threw that guy out the window? I regret I was on the first floor.") But what I didn't remember was what a stone cold bastard Charles was during the incident. Not only did he toss the dude through the window, he then leaned over him and said "You got what you deserve. You don't respect me. I hope you're hurt" the man lay bleeding on the ground. Chuck also said "For all I care, you can lay there and die." Wow. Do not make him angry.

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