Artist's recreation of the Washington locker room

Happy New Year, and wow, what a way to start off 2010! In the most amazing yet somehow completely unsurprising story of the year so far, Gilbert Arenas and Javaris Crittenton went all Walter Sobchak on each other and drew their guns in the locker room on Christmas Eve. Nobody got shot, but even if Agent Zero had pulled the trigger, I wouldn't have been too worried considering his shooting percentage this year is only 41%. (Zing!)

So, what's Gilbert got to say about this whole situation? According to his Twitter feed: "i wake up this morning and seen i was the new JOHN WAYNE..lmao media is too funny" Are people really calling him John Wayne? That doesn't make sense. Most of the time John Wayne actually, you know, won stuff. Otherwise, I cannot stress this enough -- you must read his other recent tweets. Hibachi's posting crazy stuff left and right. Even Deadspin is talking about it. Consider this gem: "yea i guess ur right men with kids party a diff way on new years...it usually starts and ends with the (jergens natural lotion) bottle"

Also, according to Bill Simmons, "FYI: if Gilbert is convicted of a felony, the Wiz can void his horrific contract ASAP. No wonder they reported it so quickly!"

Worst of the Night in Pictures:


"Aww... he's so small, it's too cute! I can't help but hug him!"

"Maybe I can get my Inflatable Defender in there and nobody will notice so I can go home..."

Vinny Del Negro knows how to rock out

Your first man love post of the New Year

"I call this man-love 'watchu got in there?' " (via Quinton)

Nationally Televised Friday Games:
Bricks at Hawks: This is the first game we get to celebrate the new year? Oh well. The Hawks haven't lost three straight all season. Probably not going to happen in this game.

All The Other Friday Games:
Magic at Timberwolves: The Magic suddenly are garbage on the road, and have lost three straight outside of Orlando. They play eight of their next 10 on the road as well. Thank God for this game in their case.

Kings at Lakers: The Lakers are banged up (Ron Ron's stairs, Kobe's finger), but the Kings are still not exactly the best team in the league. If Tyreke Evans doesn't play, this game could be horrendous.


Nationally Televised Saturday Games:
Thunder at Bucks: I'm starting to feel sorry for the Bucks. I really am.

All The Other Saturday Games:
Crabs at Nyets: Enjoy your free win, Crustaceans!

Bobcats at Heat: The Heat will still be cleaning themselves up after shitting the bed Thursday night, but the Bobcats are, after all, the Bobcats.

Timberwolves at Pacers: Huh. The Pacers might actually win a game! The Timberwolves are, after all, the Timberwolves, and they're on the second night of a back to back!

Spurs at Wizards Generals Bullets: I have one piece of advice for the Spurs -- stay the hell out of the locker room when Gilbert Arenas is around, and don't make any bets with him.

Raptors at Celtics: After the way the Celtics have blown games recently, I am just plain afraid to say anything about this game, especially after reading this injury report. Can we just skip to the next game? Thanks.

Rockets at Hornets: Knee-Mac is dominating in the fan-voting for the All-Star game. There is no justice in the world.

Magic at Bulls: The "when will he get fired?!" drama surrounding Vinny Del Negro is making every single Bulls game special right now. It's kind of fun, in a twisted way.

Grizzlies at Suns: Just remember: the Grizzlies are a feel-good story this season... and they're still really mediocre.

Nuggets at Jazz: Denver's not great on the road, and has lost three straight games. Utah hasn't looked good lately either, and has wins against just Philly and Minnesota in the past couple weeks. Ouch.

Warriors at Frail Blazers: The Warriors' tendancies to run-and-gun have me scared. We could see the kneecaps on the remaining Portland players all explode at once in this game.

Mavericks at Kings: A nice back-to-back for the Kings, eh?


Nationally Televised Sunday Games:
Spurs at Raptors: Back to back road games for the creaky-boned Spurs? Good thing the Heat were kind enough to let the Spurs' starters rest for most of their Thursday night game. How very generous!

All The Other Sunday Games:
Bobcats at Crabs: Both of these teams are on back-to-backs, but really, does it matter? It just means LeBron will score 32 instead of 38.

Pacers at Bricks: The D'Antoni defensive system could actually make this game halfway decent, even if both teams only shoot 39%.

76ers at Nuggets: Nothing like playing against the lowly Sixers to give you a good rest after playing in Utah the night before.

Mavericks at Lakers: Back-to-backs are definately a trend on this night. The Mavs get to spend two straight nights on the road and play the Lakers. Lucky them.

Labels: Bawful After Dark, Javaris Crittenton you are entering a world of pain my friend, Washington Bullets