First off, nice to see Mr. Bawful himself chime in earlier today. Go read his take if you haven't already done so.

In super scary news, Gilbert Arenas can't work out a deal to play in China! OOOOHH! AAAAAH!!

And in somehow even less surprising news, Delonte West has effectively posted his resume on Twitter hoping to find a new team. Of course he has.

Worst Of The Night In Pictures:





Nationally Televised Games:
Spurs at Hornets, NBA TV, 8pm: Thanks Time Warner for sucking slightly less than usual lately and adding NBA TV to my cable lineup, this will be the first legitimate NBA game I actually get to watch on NBA TV in the comfort of my own home! Therefore I fully expect this to be the most boring game in the history of professional basketball. You have been warned.

Oh, and Eric Gordon out indefinitely with knee problems. Sigh.

Lakers at Trail Blazers, NBA TV, 10:30pm: The roster has been overhauled and the team has a new look. It'll be interesting to see how it plays out.

What? Oh, I'm talking about the Blazers, not the Lakers. Sorry for the confusion.

All The Other Games:
Pacers at Raptors, 7pm: I'm not going to call them the Craptors yet on the off chance that they aren't terrible. I'm nice like that. I AM, however, going to post the clip of the raptor losing control and faceplanting because it's the greatest moment ever captured on film. Sound fair?



Nuggets at 76ers, 7pm: Breaking: Andrew Bynum not available for this game. Also breaking: Andrew Bynum.

Rockets at Pistons, 7:30pm: Jeremy Lin, James Harden, James Harden's Beard... Interested to see how this goes.

Kings at Bulls, 8pm: Tough season for both teams. Chicago has to figure out how the hell to keep winning without Derrick Rose. Sacramento has to figure out how the hell to stay in Sacramento. I'm not sure which is more realistic...

Also, Bulls are unlikely to extend Taj Gibson. BRB, gonna go sing the stingy team owner blues.

Mavericks at Jazz, 9pm: According to the STATS LLC game preview I read, Paul Millsap is "the only remaining player from the franchise's 53-win team in 2009-10." The last time I saw that much turnover action that fast was Tony Romo in the first quarter against the Giants last week. Hiyooo

Warriors at Suns, 10pm: Jared Dudley on Goran Dragic becoming the starting point guard for the Suns: "I thought him leaving, going to Houston and starting has helped his confidence, helped his maturity. He definitely is the face of the franchise now. It's his show." I am still not sure how I feel about this... I remember watching Dragic come off the bench for Steve Nash a couple years ago and thinking how I loved Dragic's energy and aggressiveness. But then I'd see him turn the ball over spectacularly and get frustrated. Does anyone here have any more recent time spent watching Dragic? How do you feel about him?

Grizzlies at Clippers, 10:30pm: You really should go read this great piece by Jonathan Abrams -- it's a behind-the-scenes look at how Lionel Hollins is coaching the Grizzlies. Fascinating stuff. Almost as fascinating as Hollins' jacked-up fingers.

Labels: Bawful After Dark, Halloween

Well, this weekend was the annual Halloween Party, and while Basketbawful and his pals decided jointly on a cowboy theme, I, of course, had to maintain my abnormal obsession with Larry Bird (and I'm too cheap to get all authentic with the cowboy gear).

However, I wasn't just repeating the same costume as last year. No, sir. This year, I put a different slant on it that I think made the getup far more clever than just a Larry Legend rehash. See if you can guess what I am.

Hint: I might be confused with an iPhone app.



Yup, that's right. Much like the Superfriends have their Bizarro counterparts, much like I have my own arrogant, hyper-competitive alter-ego, Evil Ted, so does Larry Bird have his own dark doppelganger...



I think Angry Bird is going catch on, much like his feathery iPhone counterparts - I mean, come on...glowing locks, green blood, fireball basketballs? This is a comic book hero waiting to happen.



With the lockout doing such a number on our little corner of the world - I call on you, Bawful readers, to submit your most awesome Halloween costume pictures (basketball related or not) to me at ted.evil@gmail.com, and assuming the picture isn't obscene, we'll post it in an amusing collage of pics with other Bawful folks.

Oh, and I appear to be on Twitter now. It's a great way to communicate with people in a frequent, brief, lazy manner. This could be a perfect medium, given that I think many Bawful readers collectively feel they've had enough of me after 140 characters anyway.

Labels: Angry Bird, Evil Ted, Halloween, Larry Bird

Bustin' makes me feel good.
Let me apologize up front for not going all-out for the first Worst of the Weekend of the season. I was busy Halloweening to the extreme. Seriously, my Halloween weekend was like the Mountain Dew commercial of Halloween weekends. In fact, this post is being typed by the handful of bloody chunks that were left of me after the weekend.

To compensate for the lack of WotWknd, I've posted a picture of me and Basketbawful co-founder Statbuster. (I'm sorry I couldn't find a pic of us in our Halloween costumes.) And shortly, I'll be posting Dan B.'s epic review of NBA 2K10. But, for the heck of it, here are a few thoughts about the weekend.

1. Trouble in paradise? On Friday night, the Cavaliers broke out of their season-opening slump by smacking around the lowly Timberwolves. However, the team didn't seem to gel until the third quarter when Shaq was exiled to the bench after picking up his fourth foul. Said LeBron: "We kind of know how to feel off each other and go off each other. When Big Fella got into some foul trouble, that cohesiveness that we’ve had in the past regained itself."

Make of that what you will.

2. The Knicks still suck: I said it last season and I'll say it again...for all the blame Isiah has taken for ruining the Knicks, they don't seem that much better without him.

3. Things that make you go hmmmmm: During the offseason, the Lakers essentially swapped a roleplayer (Trevor Ariza) for a former All-Star (Ron Artest). Currently, one of them is averaging the following line: 23.5 PPG, 50% FGP, 52% 3P%, 3.7 RPG, 3.3 APG, 1.6 SPG. The other is averaging the following line: 8.3 PPG, 32% FGP, 23% 3P%, 5 RPG, 3.7 APG, 1.0 SPG. Think that second line belongs to Ariza? Think again. To sum up: the Lakers ditched an efficient roleplayer who could spackle in any hole for an inefficient alpha dog wanna be who needs a lot of touches to light it up. I can't tell you how happy this makes me. Although, of course, Ron-Ron can still turn up some defensive pressure from time to time.

4. The Bat-Manu: This has been covered pretty much everywhere, but Manu Ginobili's smackdown of a live bat during a live game on Halloween night ranks up there with Wilt's 100-point game, the 1995-96 Chicago Bulls' 72-win season and Shaq's "number of former coaches/teams/teamates thrown under the bus" as pro basketball's never-again-to-be-seen accomplishments.


Said Ginobili: "When you can't dunk anymore, you have to find a way to make it into the news. So that's what I did. I grabbed a bat. I didn’t think it was a big deal."

Added Spurs coach Greg Popovich: "He never ceases to amaze me and he just did it again. The legend grows. It's incredible on Halloween night. You would call someone a liar if they told you that story."

5. Possible sign of the apocalypse: Zach Randolph dished out seven assists last night. Seven! WHO IS THIS MAN AND WHAT HAS HE DONE WITH ZACH RANDOLPH? Fortunately, Allen Iverson is expected to make his Grizzlies debut tonight, so I expect order will soon be restored to the universe. (EDIT: And our very own Chris will be attending the festivities, with "practice" well on his mind!!!)

UPDATE! Chris's lacktion report:

Failtacular Friday
Knicks-Bobcats: Toney Douglas bricked once and fouled once as well for a +2 suck differential in 2:26 for New York. While Charlotte's Nazr Mohammed blocked one shot to avoid a suck differential of his own, his 3:14 stint of a giveaway and a brick led to a 1:0 Madsen-level Voskuhl.

Wizards-Hawks: Dominic McGuire becomes our first two-time lacktator of the year, racking up another +2 (via missed shot and foul) in 2:41. Dishonorable mention goes out to his teammate Nick Young, whose singular board marred an eight-brick appearance.

Raptors-Grizzlies: Amir Johnson has merely returned to form, with a +2 via fouls in 2:07 to put him back in his usual spot within the fine print of the sporting section.

Heat-Pacers: Yakhouba Diawara makes his 2009 lacktion debut with a all-fouls +2 in 5:36, the longest stint of non-contribution in the young season so far. On the other half of the court, Indiana's AJ Price clearly has the right last name to celebrate his 1.3 trillion take tonight!

Kings-Hornets: Sergio Rodriguez may have taken down a rebound for the purple paupers, but a mere 14 seconds of court time is all that's needed to reboot a dusty NES console for a Mario.

Bulls-Celtics: With Brian Scalabrine out, Doc Rivers called on JR Giddens to be tonight's human victory cigar, and he gave up the rock once for a +1 in 3:58. Conversely, Lindsey Hunter let Vinny Del Negro down by making one assist after a stellar statline of two fouls, one turnover, and two unsuccessful tosses from downtown.

Magic-Nets: Anthony Johnson had his nightly stretching session on WiiFit, a non-intense 30 second Mario that no doubt burned fewer calories than any cheering he might have done on the pine all game long.

Crabs-Wolves: Darnell "Lacktion" Jackson finally gets a shot at living up to his moniker and providing LeBron and Shaq with a reliable human victory cigar. He pinched out two bricks and a giveaway for a +3 in 1:46.

Thunder-Pistons: Detroit rookie Austin Daye fouled once for a +1 in 1:12.

Clippers-Jazz: Wesley Matthews makes his second visit to the lacktion report for Jerry Sloan's squad, bringing home the bacon with a 2.3 trillion!

Warriors-Suns: Phoenix's Jarron Collins narrowly avoided non-contribution with a board, only to accrue a foul and giveaway for a 2:1 Voskuhl in 1:32. His teammate Alando Tucker was much more successful with his negatory ventures, tossing one brick for a +1 in 2:53.

Mavs-Lakers: With the game pretty much decided before the final frame, the sanitation crews were hard at work cleaning up with sloppy play, resulting in two non-notables from each squad accruing a +1 suck differential. Mark Cuban's finest Havanas were well-lit tonight, as rookie Rodrigue Beaubois bricked once in 2:49, while the headbanded Matt Carroll (whose head attire received guffaws from the NBA on ESPN crew) took 11 fewer seconds to achieve the same demerit from Broadway.

For Phil Jackson's team, putting on a feature more worthy of public access rather than Showtime, DJ Mbenga fouled once for a 1:0 Madsen-level Voskuhl in 3:11, while former 3rd overall pick Adam Morrison heaved some masonry in a stint 7 seconds shorter.

Scary Saturday!
Nets-Wizards: New Jersey's Bobby Simmons put in 4:31 of tanktopped aerobics today, bricking once for a +1 suck differential. But the real story is the early star of lacktion this season, Dominic McGuire, who laid down a 3.4 trillion that will no doubt be measured against the size of Agent Zero's contract!

Bobcats-Crabs: With Cleveland crawling back up to .500, the game ended up being out of reach by the end of the 3rd - turning the match into a Powerball payout! For Michael Jordan's pet project of pain, DeSagana Diop cashed out at 1.25 trillion and Derrick Brown received a check for 1.55 trillion. Mike Brown's set-it-and-forget-it crustacean bake offerred up Jamario Moon's +1 via brick in 1:37, Jawad Williams's 1.55 trillion, and Darnell "Lacktion" Jackson's own reimbursement of 1.25 trillion.

Pistons-Bucks: Former 1st overall pick Kwame Brown did make four rebounds and one steal in 12:39, only to foul four times and give up the rock thricely for a 7:4 Voskuhl. Meanwhile, Milwaukee's Roko Ukic switched on his Game Boy briefly for a 12 second Mario!!!!!!

Mavs-Clippers: In his second straight night of lacktion, Matt Carroll invested in two fouls for a +2 in 5:47, while Dunleavy's doofuses DeAndre Jordan and Steve Novak showed up on the ledger with respective statlines of +4 in 2:04 via a brick and three fouls (also good for a 3:0 Voskuhl) and a +1 with a 32 second Mario, after getting lost on Olvera Street downtown. Novak's brief masquerade as a baller makes him the first multiple Nintendo devotee of the season, adding a Game and Watch to his collection.

Snoozin' Sunday
Magic-Raptors: While Marcin Gortat did help out on a basket and take down a board in 14:05, he also fouled and bricked thricely for a 3:1 Voskuhl.

Grizzlies-Nuggets: Hamed Haddadi's 2:52 on the hardwood unfortunately featured a couple of boards and a block, but by fouling twice and handing the rock to Denver once, he earned himself a 3:2 Voskuhl. Malik Allen on the other hand burned up the court with a Fireflower for a 6 second Super Mario! Allen's brief night is all the more noteworthy as he is the first to reach a state of Doki Doki Panic with his second consecutive Super Mario, after a four-second 1Up on Thursday - two stints that combined would each still qualify as one Super Mario on its lonesome!!!!!!

Labels: Halloween, Worst of the Weekend

I just wanted to wish all you boys and ghouls out there a very happy Halloween. I promise I'll respond to any questions and comments left in today's Worst of the Night post. However, my replies might be slightly delayed due to extreme Halloweening. But here's a treat for one and all: A picture of yours truly in this year's Captain Jack Sparrow costume. Many thanks to Tim for providing the photo...and for loaning me his girlfriend's lap for the duration of the picture-taking. I'm not sure I could stand under my own power at that point. (I guess I should probably thank Milica too. And I promise, dear girl, that was my flintlock poking you. And "flintlock" isn't some naughty euphemism. It's just a fancy term for "pirate gun." Which, itself, isn't a naughty euphemism either.) In related news: Why is the rum always gone? I just don't get it.

"Uhm, why's the room crooked? Oh. That's why the rum's always gone."
Oh, and here's a shot of Timmy (dressed as an...Evil Space Cowboy?) with our very own Evil Ted. ET is a little, ahem, obsessed with the Joker (The Dark Knight version) right now. Can you tell?

Hey, Evil Ted. WHY...SO...SERIOUS?!

Labels: Captain Jack Sparrow, costumes, Evil Ted, Halloween, holidays, The Joker, why is the rum always gone