My epic NBA season preview spectacular on Deadspin is still silently stalking the upcoming basketball season the way Jason Voorhees hunts down large-breasted camp counselors. Only my previews offer a sightly better surival rate. But don't run up the stairs or hide in the basement! Your very life -- and my page view bonus -- may very well depend on it.

Orlando Magic
Philadelphia 76ers
Portland Trailblazers
Sacramento Kings
Toronto Raptors

Also, in continuing coordinated conjunction with CelticsBlog, here are the previews for the Southeast Division. And hey, it looks like I wasn't the only sucker brave soul willing to preview the Hawks...

Atlanta Hawks
Matt McHale: Basketbawful
Hoopinion: Peachtree Hoops

Charlotte Bobcats
BrettL: Queen City Hoops
Ziggy: BobcatsPlanet

Miami Heat
Darren Heitner: SportsAgentBlog.com
Gregory Broome: The Peninsula is Mightier

Orlando Magic
Ben: Third Quarter Collapse

Washington Wizards
Rashad: Hoops Addict
HoopsAvenue: HoopsAvenue
Mike Prada: Bullets Forever
Truth: Truth About It Dot Net

Labels: CelticsBlog, Deadspin, NBA season preview

Here are the links to my latest batch of NBA season previews on Deadspin, brought to you in that irreverent, hard-hitting style that only Basketbawful can deliver! I'm not saying that clicking on these links will save lives, but it will. It so totally will.

Memphis Grizzlies
Miami Heat
Milwaukee Bucks
Minnesota Timberwolves
New Jersey Nets
New Orleans Hornets

And let's not forget the Central Division previews organized by CelticsBlog. I'll be posting my Atlanta Hawks preview for this series tomorrow.

Chicago Bulls
Nels: Give Me The Rock
Matt: Blog-a-Bull

Cleveland Cavaliers
Rock: Waiting For Next Year
FTS: Fear The Sword
David Friedman: 20 Second Timeout
Amar Panchmatia: Cavalier Attitude

Detroit Pistons
Brian Spencer: Empty the Bench
Natalie Sitto: Need4Sheed.com
Matt Watson: Detroit Bad Boys

Indiana Pacers
Tom: Indy Cornrows

Milwaukee Bucks
Jeramey Jannene: The Bratwurst
Frank Madden: BrewHoop

Labels: Deadspin, NBA season preview, Peja Stojakovic's head on a stick

In case you haven't been keeping up with them -- and shame on you, if that's the case -- here are links to my latest NBA season previews on Deadspin. Harsh yet realistic appraisals! Fun facts! Amusing videos! Shameless self-promotion! (Wait. That's here. Never mind.)

Denver Nuggets
Detroit Pistons
Golden State Warriors
Houston Rockets
Indiana Pacers
Los Angeles Clippers
Los Angeles Lakers

Here are the Southwest Division previews organized by CelticsBlog.



Dallas Mavericks

Jake Kerr: Mavs Moneyball

Houston Rockets

grungedave and UofTOrange: The Dream Shake

Memphis Grizzlies

Joshua Coleman: 3 Shades of Blue

New Orleans Hornets

Rohan: At the Hive

ticktock6 & mW: Hornets Hype

Ryan Schwan & Ron Hitley: Hornets247.com

San Antonio Spurs

Graydon Gordian: 48 Minutes of Hell

Also see links to all the previews at CelticsBlog.com

Labels: CelticsBlog, Deadspin, NBA season preview

I can't explain this picture, but I know awesome when I see it.
In case you missed 'em, here are the last handful of NBA season previews I wrote for Deadspin:

Charlotte Bobcats
Chicago Bulls
Cleveland Cavaliers
Update! Dallas Mavericks

Moreover, I'm participating in the CelticsBlog season previews (I'll be doing the Atlanta Hawks later this month). Here are links to the Atlantic Division previews:

Boston Celtics
Jeff Clark: CelticsBlog.com
Jim Weeks: Green Bandwagon
FLCeltsFan: LOY's Place
John Karalis: Red's Army
Dustin Chapman: Celtics 24/7

New Jersey Nets
Dennis Velasco: About Basketball

New York Knicks
Joey: Straight Bangin'
Seth Rosenthal: Posting and Toasting

Philadelphia 76ers
Dannie & Pete: Recliner GM
Jon Burkett: Passion and Pride

Toronto Raptors
Franchise: RaptorsHQ.com
Ryan McNeill: Hoops Addict
Cuzzy: Cuzoogle

Labels: CelticsBlog, Charlotte Bobcats, Chicago Bulls, Cleveland Cavaliers, Dallas Mavericks, Deadspin, Dirk Nowitzki, guitar hate, NBA season preview

Appetizing, right?
My 30 Previews In 30 Days feature began today on Deadspin. First up: Atlanta's Air Force! Check in every day for a new preview and fabulous cash prizes! (Note: 50 percent of the last sentence was a damn lie.) Each team will be covered in alphabetical order, and every post will be filled with useful information as well as fun facts and historical trivia. Remember: Tips aren't required, but they are appreciated.

Labels: 30 previews in 30 days, Deadspin, NBA season preview, vampires

You can go to Deadspin to read my take on Agent Zero's latest knee surgery. If you do, I can promise three things: An extended ¡Three Amigos! reference, a link that describes how to commit suicide with a frisbee, and the inevitable Grant Hill analogy.

Labels: Deadspin, El Guapo, Gilbert Arenas, knee surgery, Three Amigos

I wrote a playoff recap for Deadspin. It's basically a series of one-sentence summaries of all the zany shenanigans that took place from the first round through the Finals: From menacing hand gestures to payback hits on Zaza Pachulia to third-person self-referentiality to bitchslaps to improbable threes to crazy mom attacks...you name it, it's in there, with plenty of links to related stories, pictures and videos.

So don't just sit there: Go read it. It will make your mom love you again. I promise.

Labels: Deadspin, NBA playoffs, recaps

The one on the right is Kobe. Trustme, it makes sense. Sort of.
I don't know how to put this but I'm kind of a big deal. People know me. I'm very important. I have many leather-bound books and my apartment smells of rich mahogany.

What am I talking about, you ask? Well, starting today -- and lasting until they pry it from my cold, dead hands -- I will be writing the NBA Closer column for Deadspin. (No, seriously, here's my first column.)

This isn't going to be easy, since I'm following in the footsteps of J.E. Skeets from The Basketball Jones, and that crazy bastard moonwalks everywhere. And it'll mean less time flying around Chicago and protecting the city in my nuclear-powered robot suit, but this is about something much bigger than fighting crime. It's about me.

But never fear. I will continue to provide the same low-grade fart jokes and penis humor to which you are accustomed. And just to alleviate any fears that my work here may start to suffer under the increased workload, I promise to start hating Kobe three percent more than ever. That's a money back guarantee, folks.

Now go over to Deadspin. Read my stuff. Comment on it. Praise it. Then buy a bunch of cool stuff and send it to me.

Labels: announcements, Deadspin, NBA Closer