lakers freak
Wait...which of these two men is the crazy one again?

The Atlanta Hawks: One night after pimp-slapping the Miami Heat off their undefeated pedestal, the Dirty Birds were smackin' the Bullies around. Atlanta held Chicago to 26 points in the first half -- including a season-low 11 points on 2-for-21 shooting in the second quarter -- and had them down by 19 points in the third quarter. It sure looked like one of those "turn off the TV and go to bed early" nights for Bulls fans.

Then shit came undone.

Derrick Rose exploded for 17 of his game-high 30 points in the final 12 minutes as the Bulls outscored the Hawks 34-18. And Atlanta was polished off when they failed to play seven seconds worth of effective defense:


But despite Rose's heroics and that well-executed final play, the Hawks doomed themselves by clanking six free throws in the fourth quarter, including back-to-back bricks by Jeff Teague with 17 seconds left that could have given Atlanta a three-point lead and another crucial miss by Al Horford with seven seconds left that could have put the Hawks up a point.

Instead, well, you know what happened.

Said Atlanta coach Larry Drew: "We stopped defending with the intensity that we did in the first three quarters. We didn't make our free throws going down the stretch. If you don't make your free throws on the road you can't expect to win."

Joe Johnson: The 119 Million Dollar Man finished with 10 points on 3-for-17 shooting...including 2-for-9 on threes.

Omer Asik and Kyle Korver: The title of this YouTube video -- Epic double flop by Asik and Korver -- pretty much says it all.


Al Horford, quote machine: "We were right there with them. We dominated for most of the game. Just Derrick Rose happened."

The Charlotte Bobcats: The Bobkittens let the Cleveland Cadavers put up 115 points on 50 percent shooting (including 10-for-21 on threes). And the Cads even missed nine free throws! I'm sorry, but have you seen Cleveland's lineup? They shouldn't be able to score 115 points in an empty gym full of Nerf hoops.

Faces are for hands, people.

Said Charlotte coach Paul Silas: "Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck."

I'm kidding. Here's what he actually said: "It's just not gonna work if we don't play hard all the time. We're not talented enough to not play hard all the time. You can't just give it away (points on penetration) and let it happen."

Oh, right, that reminds me. The Cadavers scored 19 fast break points and 56 points in the paint. Remember: This is a team whose primary inside player is Anderson Varejao.

D.J. Augustin Take is strong or not at all, D.J.


The Oklahoma City Thunder: From undefeated to back-to-back losses. OKC got a good, old-fashioned defense spanking in the second half, when the Frail Blazers held them to 40 points on 34 percent shooting (13-for-38).

Said Nick Collison: "I think sometimes you need losses to remind you that you've got to get better. You wish it wasn't like that. You wish you could always realize the need to improve but human nature, sometimes you get a little lax when you're winning."

Well, it's a good thing the Thunder are losing, then. Because losing is learning!

Greg Oden: I bring this up only because Portland was playing against Kevin "Coulda Been A Blazer" Durant. Yeah, KD had a crappy-crap game, but still. Oden has officially become the biggest bust in Blazers history.

Wesley Matthews, quote machine: "The first team to play defense was going to win the game. It might as well have been us."

The Excremento Kings: Somehow, despite the dramatic and highly anticipated return of DeMarcus "Trade Me, Bitches!" Cousins, the Paupers let the Grizzlies shoot 55 percent from the field and fell behind by as many as 23 before losing 113-96. Paul Westfail, irriated by the lifeless play of a team that has quit on him, went with his reserves for most of the second half.

Said Westfail: "(I did it) for two reasons. One is that we had a lot of offensive firepower on the floor with Jimmer and Isaiah and (Francisco Garcia). We were able to spread to floor and have a lot of 3-point shooting and get penetration. I thought the best chance to get back in the game was to crack open a few steals and get some threes. If that did happen, we would have our starters fresh for the last 5 or 6 minutes. If it didn't happen, they would be rested for dinner."

Ooooh yeah. This is gonna end well.

Bonus bawful: Despite playing without the injured Zach Randolph, Memphis scored 72 points in the paint. You read that correctly: 72! The Care Bears converted 29 shot attempts AT THE RIM. Getting to the hoop was about as easy as hitting your ball into the giant clown face at the end of a miniature golf course.

DeMarcus Cousins: The line: 4 points on 1-for-5 shooting in 22 minutes.

Said Cousins: "Once I got a little sweat, I was into it. I don't know why I'm missing all these little putbacks. I am missing them, so I have to keep working."

The Milwaukee Bucks: Let me ask you this: If you walked into a room and the first thing you saw were two ugly dogs eating each other, would you continue watching? No. No, I don't think you would. That's sort of what athe Bucks-Jazz experience was like, only a little worse, frankly.

Anyway, the Mormon Musicians won this Festivus of Bricks by the sad score of 85-73. Milwaukee shot just 30 percent and went 2-for-21 from downtown. They were a dismal 9-for-22 at the rim, as Utah's Derrick Favors finished with 5 of his team's 10 blocked shots.

Said Drew Gooden: "It's tough. We can't win scoring 70-80 points."

He could've just ended that quote at "We can't win."

By the way, Andrew Bogut missed the game for personal reasons. Those personal reasons being he hates his crappy team.

Chris' Lacktion Ledger:

Bobcats-Cavs: Christian Eyenga can now commiserate with Dan Gilbert after writing himself a check worth 1.1 trillion (67 seconds).

Hawks-Bulls: Jimmy Butler roamed into the land of toadstools in just 33 seconds to give Chicago a Mario.

Purple Paupers-Grizzlies: Josh Davis bricked once from (downtown Memphis) and fouled as well for a +2 in 6:59, while fellow baby cub Josh Selby bricked once in 63 seconds for a +1.

Blazers-Thunder: Lazar Hayward had a bolt of bullion appear in 86 seconds for a 1.4 trillion!
15 Comments:
Blogger Wormboy said...
Dangit Kyrie Irving! Don't make yourself another Dookie that I like! You've got to loaf like veteran NBA bottom feeders. Rook hasn't figured it out yet.

Anonymous Batmanu said...
I know this is a day late, but did you see THIS:

http://sports.yahoo.com/nba/blog/ball_dont_lie/post/Photo-Shelden-Williams-dunks-the-ball-into-his-?urn=nba-wp12751

L.M.A.O.

Anonymous Stockton said...
Is Steve Nash a respectable professional or just a dumb guy?

I mean... he'a top-10 PG... his team made crappy after crappy move, followed by some shitty trades... and the man never asked for a trade, never asked for "help".

I guess that's the right way for a pro to behave, but he is a minority, no?

Anonymous Stockton said...
Don't forget the Blazers had already f###d up one lottery when they traded down their 3rd pick (Paul or Williams) to the Jazz, taking Martell webster in the process.

Anonymous Hellshocked said...
"I didn't want to be one of these guys that's going to a team to chase a championship. That wasn't what I wanted to do" - Tracy McGrady in a Hoopshype interview

Translation: "No team with genuine championship aspirations wanted anything to do with me."

Anonymous JJ said...
Stockton,

I think Nash is a very respectable professional. But, he just isn't cut-throat ambitious. I'm not saying he doesn't play hard or doesn't care about winning. Simply, he's not "I'll even sell my soul to win" kind of guy. There's nothing wrong with that since he has the right to choose. Unfortunately, his attitude, or lack thereof, probably kept him from ever experiencing a championship though.

After losing Amare, a normal star of Nash's stature would have immediately demanded a trade and/or asked his team to get some all-stars real fast. It's not that having Amare made Suns an instant championship contender, but it all went downhill real fast after they lost him. Or maybe I should go back even further and say it all went started going downhill after they lost Joe Johnson. But, I still have hope that he'll pull a Kidd and jump on a contender before he retires.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
Pretty cool. The Lakers are only mentioned when they are the "Worst" part of the worst of the night these days.

Really professional guys. Really.

Blogger Basketbawful said...
"Pretty cool. The Lakers are only mentioned when they are the 'Worst' part of the worst of the night these days. Really professional guys. Really."

I love comments like this because they only ever come from Lakers fans. For instance, I have never gotten a comment like:

"Pretty cool. The PACERS are only mentioned when they are the 'Worst' part of the worst of the night these days. Really professional guys. Really."

Second, this is a free site run entirely for free by free men. We're not trying to be professional.

Anonymous Matt said...
Uh... isn't the name of the site basketbawful? The only time any team is ever mentioned in a positive light is to show how crappy another team is (e.g. The Nyets defense was so bad they allowed the Pacers - the PACERS - to shoot over 50% for the game).

WV: difisto I think I'm going to leave that one alone.

Blogger KHayes666 said...
Matt's right. This is supposed to be the WORST and if the Lakers play lousy you can expect them to show up on here.

Same goes with Miami, Cleveland, Boston and every other team in the NBA. If you suck, bawful comes for you.

Btw, who are the favorites for the Null-Star Game so far?

Blogger Dan B. said...
KHayes666 - Null-Star favorites? Well... Anthony Carter's 0.7 second Super Mario Galaxy (plus one other lacktive appearance already) has him in strong consideration. E'Twaun Moore's shown up on the lacktion report a few times already (plus his name is awesome). Josh Childress's 5.6 trillion is the worst trillion of the young season. Bill Walker had a dreadful +8 suck differential in one game. And as Chris pointed out to me, the most stunning stat of all? Joel Anthony has yet to show up on the lacktion report this season.

Anonymous Scrappy Coco said...
Miami learned from their previous loss today... use James Jones to stop teams from using the zone.

But then again, they were against Pacers.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
"I love comments like this because they only ever come from Lakers fans. For instance, I have never gotten a comment like:

"Pretty cool. The PACERS are only mentioned when they are the 'Worst' part of the worst of the night these days. Really professional guys. Really."
"

Totally irrelevant. You didn't put a "Worst" up for the Rockets, because then you'd have to praise the Lakers. You've done it before this season, too. Usually, you post a "Worst" for EVERY team that loses. This season, if the Lakers are the winners, you skip posting about that loser entirely (because you don't want the Lakers to look good).

I'm a Basketball fan. The Lakers are one of my favorite teams but I have plenty (Such as the Pacers that you mentioned!). And you're going to lose traffic if you are so stupidly biased going forward.

Blogger Basketbawful said...
Totally irrelevant. You didn't put a "Worst" up for the Rockets, because then you'd have to praise the Lakers. You've done it before this season, too. Usually, you post a "Worst" for EVERY team that loses. This season, if the Lakers are the winners, you skip posting about that loser entirely (because you don't want the Lakers to look good).

I'm a Basketball fan. The Lakers are one of my favorite teams but I have plenty (Such as the Pacers that you mentioned!). And you're going to lose traffic if you are so stupidly biased going forward.


While I generally try to post something about every game, I don't always do it. For instance, I skipped the Bulls-Pistons game yesterday, and I'm a Bulls fan...I even blog about the Bulls for ESPN's TrueHoop network. Some games I'm just like, "Meh, not feelin' it." This wasn't an anti-Lakers conspiracy. Just nothing about that game stood out to me.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
Oden the biggest bust in Blazers history? Really? You wanna rethink that one for about 5 seconds and take back that statement? *COUGH* Jordan *COUGH*

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