While Matt McHale: Technical Writer is being inundated with training at his Clark Kent job, I figured this would be a good time to take a look at current events in the basketball world. (Don't worry -- the Pickup Diaries will resume before you know it)

Before we get started, a brief FYI. Several of you faithful Bawful readers have noted in the comments that a bogus redirect script has been affecting the site. After doing a little research, it appears to be related to the script used for the tag cloud that was on the navigation bar on the right side of the page. Many other bloggers who used that Technorati script are seeing the same issues with certain browsers. One particular release of Firefox seemed to be the most generally affected, and I personally have not been able to replicate the problem. However, I have temporarily removed the script from the site's template HTML, so hopefully the problem will be fixed. If you are still having troubles, let us know so we can look into it further.

Getting on the news...

Update! Warriors purchased. For way, way way too much money.

Update! Do you want to see David Kahn squirm when being pressed by Chris Webber and Matt Winer about throwing so much money at Darko friggin' Milicic? Do you want to see C-Webb get pissed at Kahn for comparing him to Darko? Of course you do. In fact, I'll even embed the video here for your convenience:


We are still countless weeks away from the beginning of the season, and the Warriors' top draft pick Ekpe Udoh has already torn a ligament in his wrist and will miss six months of action. Did anybody inform him that he was drafted by the Warriors and not the Clippers? He wasn't contractually obligated to injure himself like he would have been if Donald Sterling was cutting his paychecks.

Speaking of injured Clippers, Shaun Livingston's back! After destroying his knee in pretty much the worst possible way against the Bobcats in 2007, he has now inked a 2 year, $7 million deal with... the Bobcats. Livingston's agent Henry Thomas commented "yes, how ironic," when this was pointed out to him. Technically that isn't irony; it's just a coincidence. Irony would be getting drafted by the Clippers and staying perfectly healthy and leading the team to a championship. But no matter. It's still nice to see Livinston getting another break after a horrible injury and struggles to regain his form in subsequent years. And now if you'll excuse me, I need to go throw up about eight times after remembering his ligament-ravaging fall.

Oh, and Knee-Mac to the Clippers? Maybe. You can't make this shit up.

In yet another example of NBA teams refusing to learn from history's mistakes, the Nyets have found a new general manager in... Billy King?? Don't they remember how he murdered Philly's 76ers, rolled its body up in a carpet, and tossed it off a bridge? (After that, Philly really could have used Superman -- oh, wait, they got him!. After Superman is done saving Philadelphia, he's trekking over to Detroit to attempt to save it before crippling depression sets in and he decides to just end it all. And I'm only making up part of that sentence.) In any event, there is a nice opportunity here. Not only are we likely to be treated to some comedic mismanagement, but we might even see another example of the team's GM being overruled by its owner. If Mikhail Prokhorov wants to pay eight bajillion rubles for some random scrub in an ill-advised trade, you know Billy King won't be able to say nyet. (Hmm. Maybe they should have gotten Isiah Thomas...)

After all the talks about Kobe Bryant's defensive nemesis Raja Bell coming over to the dark side and joining the Lakers, he's actually now going to the Utah Jazz instead. I feel like re-reading Seven Seconds or Less just to relive Kobe being frustrated by Bell's defense.

(I just realized that after Leandro Barbosa's move, Steve Nash is the only 7SOL era Suns player left. Holy crap, where doe the time go? Meanwhile, the Suns now have... Hedo Turkoglu Turkododo. Sigh. Erm, I mean, ball.)

Yahoo! Sports' Adrian Wojnarowski ran some surprisingly harsh smack on Twitter last night over several tweets:

Just hung up the phone with agent Mark Bartelstein, who's irate over Hornets empty suit Hugh Weber reneging on a contract for Luther Head.

After firing Jeff Bower as GM, Weber is trying the slimy trick of 'failing' a healthy player on a physical to back out of a deal Bower made.

Weber is one more clown act running a team who doesn't know if the ball is stuffed or blown. With Shinn, he undermined Bower at every turn.
Ouch...

Update! I just stumbled on this link: Ron Artest having a "Fuck LeBron" party?

Did you know -- or care -- that the ESPY Awards were held last night? Yeah, neither did pretty much anybody else in the free world. The ESPYs haven't been any fun since this high point some twelve years ago. Anyway, Phil Jackson and Kobe Bryant both won awards. Sigh. However, the one bright spot? "Denver Nuggets coach George Karl received the Jimmy V ESPY for Perseverance. He missed games and practices last season while battling neck and throat cancer. A thinner Karl appeared well, although he didn't come backstage." Crap. Now I actually wish I would have watched a few minutes of the ESPYs now just to see that. Glad to hear George Karl is feeling a bit better.

By the way, hope you're ready for the lockout! Goddamnit.

One last non-NBA item I need to share: holy hell, John Daly is back! I'm sure this won't last, so enjoy it while you can.

Update! Andy Gray just posted this picture on his SI Vault Twitter feed. "Bret Michaels, John Daly, John Daly's son and John Daly's son's middle finger." Enjoy!

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32 Comments:
Blogger BadDave said...
Yeah - I stumbled on the ESPYs after all of the other networks failed me. At least Drew Brees and the Saints took the day for best athlete and best team, respectively.

I feel for the UCONN women's team though. 102 straight wins or whatever over three seasons, and they get no credit. Even if it is women's ball.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
Good on Shaun. I'm glad that the Thunder kept him from falling out of the league entirely.

Blogger Will said...
That ESPY video was priceless. Norm had a good strategy: start and finish with your best jokes.

Blogger Dan B. said...
Will -- It's pretty good, but I still love this Norm MacDonald video. His ability to mercilessly make fun of Carrot Top is admirable.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
Webber saying "good luck" at the end of that clip is great!

Blogger Dan B. said...
The caption to this photo absolutely cracked me up. Go read it.

Blogger Sid said...
That clip started off sad. Kahn was elated at having modernized players lounges, weight rooms, and best of all; provision of having lunch before and after practice. I feel bad for them.

Blogger Will said...
I think whenever someone goes off the rails, they should be said to have gone "beyond Thunderdome" (assuming no one else has come up with this).

Blogger Vasco said...
I'm foreign. Can I get a free english lesson? What does the caption mean?

Blogger Sorbo said...
Can Darko's new nickname be "Mana from Heaven"?

How many red flags can you count in Khaaaan's explaination for signing Darko. I got to five:

-He came over too early
-He went through a rough patch in Detroit (too immature)
-Orlando went in a different direction after Darko "played well." They signed Rashard Lewis instead. (PS - Magic still have Gortat, who has a similar physicality/style of play)
-Goes to Memphis, not a great situation there.
-For whatever reason, D'antoni decided not to play Darko in New York. On a team that was gutted the last two years.

And then Khaaaaan talks himself into the signing: He passes like Vlade! So that's worth $20M right there. Too bad Vlade actually played in a Finals before he was 25.

Blogger Dan B. said...
Vasco -- That caption was a reference to the Bob Marley song "I Shot the Sheriff"

Blogger Dan B. said...
Another update added to the post -- the Warriors have been sold.

Anonymous Karc said...
Calling BS on the ESPY for Best Moment. Donovan scoring the goal to beat Algeria was good (and ultimately meaningless since the US was eliminated in the very next game), but it pales to New Orleans winning the Super Bowl, or the skater getting a medal after her mother died the same week, or even Mickelson hugging his cancer-surviving wife after winning the Masters. Then again, the WC moment was the only one of those four that aired on ESPN/ABC, so there you go.

Anonymous Barry said...
We need to get KHAAAAAANNNNN into the banner. The man is the personification of Bawful.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
your fix, or whatever you did to the script has stopped the redirect for me.

Blogger Dan B. said...
your fix, or whatever you did to the script has stopped the redirect for me.

Excellent. Looks like we found the problem. Hopefully Technorati gets it fixed so we can re-enable the tag cloud without screwing up the site for a bunch of our readers!

Anonymous AK Dave said...
Dan B:

Nice post- Webber was KILLING me in that vid: "We're not talking about me and Darko in the same sentence..." Classic!

I half expected him to say "Whoa, whoah- TIME OUT!"

XD
(/EPIC KNEE-SLAP!)

Blogger BadDave said...
So - will the Warriors be who we think they are. Or will we wind up thinking something else?

I'll start with that I think they'll get better - they'll be the new Nuggets. Frequent playoff faces, a few surprising moments, dismal endings. You know. The Chris Mullin days.

Blogger Dan B. said...
AK Dave -- We all could use a little more David Kahn in our lives, right? Well, you know, unless he's running the team I root for. But since he doesn't, more power to him and his ridiculous mismanagement!

BadDave -- The more things change, the more they stay the same.

Blogger BadDave said...
*nods sagely* "Women."

Blogger Jason said...
David Kahn looks like Alby from Big Love. http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0743671/

Blogger b r christensen said...
Statement from Larry Ellison says he was highest bidder for Warriors but Cohan decided to sell to someone else.

Cohan gives one final middle finger to surviving Warriors fans. Maybe the other guys assured him Don Nelson wouldn't get fired.

Blogger Sorbo said...
David Kahn: "We have breakfast and lunch before and after practice." Cut your losses, Kaaaahn, brunch all the way!

Anonymous Waltonia said...
"We're not talking about me and Darko in the same sentence..."

Because Darko has a ring after he beat the Lakers in the playoffs?

Anonymous Ian said...
Haha not that I blame him but I am prettyb sure that by the end of that video, Chris Webber was legit pissed at David Kahn. His good luck at the end was very funny, CWebb is an awesome tv personality through and through and as for on the court,there is never a case where Darko should be mention in the same breath as him.

The Norm Macdonald video was hilarious, especially the ruthless finishing joke about OJ, I've watched it 3 times already.

Anonymous Rossiman said...
Unintentionally dirty quote machine:

Utah Jazz representative regarding Al Jefferson's signing:
"We're thrilled," O'Connor said. "How many guys in the league talk about going down in the low post and love to get banged?"

Blogger AnacondaHL said...
One last link for y'all, hot off the presses:

The continuing drama of LeBron James...pendant. A snippet:

On Wednesday, Robinson said she got a phone call that turned her dream into a nightmare. Robinson said it was Katherine L. Powers, the mother of Maverick O. Carter. Carter is the CEO of LeBron James' marketing company, LRMR.

"[Powers] said that LeBron James was at her house and they wanted me to come over there. They were going to make me an offer that I couldn't refuse," Robinson said.

It turned out the one-of-a-kind pendant belongs to Carter, who claims it was stolen. Robinson said she and her mother went to the Wadsworth house Carter shares with his mother, believing James was going to buy the pendant and give it back to Carter.

"When I got there, LeBron James was not there. It was about eight or nine other people there," Robinson said. "They pretty much accused me, they threatened me and they used their authority to they (sic) best ability to get the pendant in their possession."

Robinson said she and her mother drove to Carter's house in the 500 block of Caledonia Drive in her mother's pickup truck.

"They blocked her truck in the driveway. They told us that we weren't going anywhere until they got that pendant. I was scared for my life," she said.


...

......urk.

Blogger chris said...
So from the team that King Crab felt wasn't good enough to crawl to the Larry O'Brien Trophy...

he has already plucked out Z and is now trying to add on...lacktator Jawad Williams?!?!!?

Blogger chris said...
Shaq NOT doin' work at the moment.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
Lebron James finding ways to screw the people of Cleveland over even after hes already left.

http://www.newsnet5.com/dpp/news/local_news/lebron-pendant-now-center-of-police-investigation

Blogger chris said...
Deadspin offers a hillarious retelling of the pendant story!!

Anonymous Anonymous said...
wow thank you for posting that kahn video. i never expected him to be such a dirty, conniving, insincere, despicable -looking creep of a human being. i now know how he got that job in minny-- kissing a lot of butts

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