Somebody call
Wally "Straight Pimpin'" Szczerbiak...and fast! I've found
his dream jacket on eBay for the low, low price of only $6,999.00. That's less than $7,000. And the shipping is free!
Put on a crash helmet. These pictures are going to kick your face's ass:
That's pure chinchilla done in crocodile, bitches.In case you need more information than "This is the most awesome thing you will ever see" before emptying your savings account, here's the product description:
Authentic Jeff Hamilton CHINCHILLA Jacket With NBA Logos Done In CROCODILE. Absolutely Amazing. Lined In Heavy Bridal Satin With Silver Plated Snaps. Retail $14,000.00 It Is A Size XXL But Will Fit Someone 3X. Also For No Charge, We Can Cut It Down To Either An XL Or A L. Please Feel Free To Call Us With Any Questions About Additional Jackets. This Is A 1 Of A Kind.
Mmmm...heavy bridal satin with silver plated snaps. And wait, there's only one of these jackets in existence? I don't know whether to be disappointed or relieved.
In case times are too tough for you to afford something this amazing, don't worry. There are plenty of NBA-related bargains to be had on eBay. Take these
game-used shoes that were once worn by former draft bust Eric Montross.
Smell the sweat! Feel the history!You know what the saddest part of this auction is? The S&H ($20) is twice what the seller is asking for the shoes ($9.99). Is that a fair price for shoes worn in an actual NBA game by somebody who -- according to
Basketball-Reference.com -- finished the 1994-95 season ranked sixth in total fouls and has a Hall of Fame Probability score of 0.000? Of course not.
I should be able to get those shoes for $5.99 with free shipping.
Labels: eBay, stupid ass NBA-related merchandise
(Okay, not really, but admit it -- you believed me for a second.)
Maybe he has enough money left to get his shoes back AND buy the jacket...
Was looking at that Basketball-reference.com site, specifically at their Hall of Fame probabilities for various players (http://www.basketball-reference.com/leaders/hof_prob_career.html). Saw one thing that pretty much blew their formula to shit:
Gilbert Arenas: .4569
Steve Nash: .3654
...and yes, at a sporting wear store, I HAVE seen an Association jacket with the Buffalo Braves logo. :O
Too late. That's what had me teetering on the edge in the first place!
With the new Jordan Challenge...
I desperately think that we need a (crappy Flash game with Commodore 64-level graphics) simulation of the MATT MCHALE: TECHNICAL WRITER CHALLENGE.
Starting with your infamous battle against Ryan, then working your way up through your most memorable moments...like pickup against Mr. Livin' Large, or trying to show the Chaos Dunk to Cindy...
COMPLETE WITH FULL BAWFUL LICENSING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So there will be between-scenes animations of you in the 1978 Plymouth Fury cruising down US 31 like you're World Wide Wes on Euclid Avenue in East Cleveland the night before The Indigestion.
And we gotta have one of your classic showdowns with Aimee's dad in there, right?
You think THAT'S bawful?
Vince Carter - 0.8662
Tracy McGrady - 0.7476
Amare Stoudamire - 0.4246
...all higher than Nash.
You know, that B-ball Reference algorithm proves to me this fact: stats to not tell the whole story.
vw: gropy
Damn it. I thought she wouldn't tell!
So this means that Mat from Livin' Large now has a probability of 0.9999999 that he is going to get into the Bawful Hall of Fame!
A probability, BTW, only surpassed by a certain mascot from up north. :D
And this concurrent early-eighties gem. Back when GM making the same car under five different "manufacturer" names actually seemed cool!
Even a vague reference in the comments is enough!
One of our very own commenters has spread the love of Basketbawful to Sactown Royalty! :D :D :D
ALSO...
the Kings sign a player with the hilariously fun first name of "Pooh."
That is seriously the stupidest pay system I have ever, ever heard of. And actual salaried incentive to fail.
Wow.
Sigh.
This crocodile jacket is really too good, and in such a cheap price. :)