kobe barney

We are currently accepting nominations for the second annual edition of the NBA Worsties, a list that describes the best of the worst of the recently concluded season. And there's a lot of it.

We'll be publishing the Worsties some time next week, so act fast. All nominations should include:

1. A title (or titles) for the entry (or entries).

2. A pithy quote/description for the entry (or entries).

3. Your preferred name/alias and/or a Web site address that can be included in the entry. (I do try to credit my sources.)

You can also -- and this would be wicked helpful -- provide story and (if available) video links to support your nomination. Submissions can be left in the comments section of this post or sent to us directly in the form of e-mails (the address is provided on the main page), smoke signals, or psychic mind-rays.

Reference: Feel free to read the 2006-07 NBA Worsties for reference. Or because they are awesome.

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Blogger Blogueros said...
Scalabrine Conference: After game six of the nba finals, brian scalabrine became more successful than elgin baylor, gervin, iverson, reggie or karl malone. but that was not enough for the Red celtic mascot...
He showed up on the press conference and started talking trash to the press, disrespecting the order of the conference. Bizarre moment.


Deshawn = Soulja Boy, Lebron = Overrated: Deshawn calling Lebron overrated was by far the dumbest qoute in the history of the major sports. Then came Jay-z´s, "Blow the whistle" and the soulja boy thing to finish the mess.
P.S.: The cavalliers won the series ...again.


By Maggots, www.lanaranjabasket.blogspot.com


Anonymous Anonymous said...
Wow...that picture is so awesome. Mad props son.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
Just two simple submissions:

*The Isiah Thomas experience

Really, no explanation necessary. Isiah is now ready to enter the Worst of Professional Basketball Hall of Fame.

*Championship piggybacking

As discussed here: http://basketbawful.blogspot.com/2008/04/word-of-day-championship-piggyback.html

Yeah, PJ Brown and Sam Cassell got their rings, but really, what a shamockery. But it's even worse for dudes like Grant Hill (no ring), and worster for guys like Mighty Mouse (no ring and a collection of DNP/CD)

Blogger Dunpizzle said...
Shawn Marion - happy to leave a contender for the worst team in the league.

Injury bug - Yao Ming, I guess nice guys do finish last.

NBA Officiating/Donaghy Scandal - seems like Yao is targeted after all




Shaq "ethered" Kobe

**incase you don't know what ethered means - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ether_(song)

The Enver Nuggets/John Hollinger - for attempting to make a claim of them being a top 10 defensive team

The Kwame Brown trade

Mike Bibby and his diehard fans

Tracy McGrady - those high gas prices, all his fault
Is there anyone who runs into more bad luck in the league!?

Luther Head - shot 1/14(7%) in the playoffs

Blogger DDC said...
Robert Horry. Big Shot Bob my ass. He shot 31% in the regular season. He then went on to set the playoffs on fire by shooting 19.4% in the playoffs. To highlight that shooting percentage, he then shoot 0% in the Western Conference Finals. Then he was the quote machine that said, "...he is smarter than 98% of the league." Dude give it up!!!!!

Anonymous Anonymous said...
The Zach Randolph experience

Ole' Z-bo decided to prove all the critics right and show off his sweet ball handling skills and 3-point accuracy.

You already made a post about this, but here is the link:


Kobe selected as cheerleader for the 2008 NBA all star game

Kobe Bryant listed to the fans and played a whole 3 minutes of the 2008 all star game instead of graciously backing out. Somewhere, Stephen Jackson and Baron Davis were choking someone. Then again, who am I to complain? As a Blazer fan it opened up time for Brandon Roy who proved people wrong with the ridiculous...

I'll put more on throughout the week

Blogger stephanie g said...

During the regular season Denver had a defensive efficiency of 106.3 (points allowed per 100 possessions), good for 10th in the NBA. This puts them ahead of Utah (12th), Toronto (13th), Phoenix (16th), Atlanta (18th), Golden State (19th), and Washington (24th).

The problem is Denver is good enough to win 50 games in the regular season but they aren't good enough to do anything in the playoffs. They're stuck.

I think in that picture, Kobe is saying, "In response to your question, it tastes like chicken."

Blogger Joe said...
NBA Feel Bad Story of the Year

Clay Bennett steals the Supersonics from Seattle, lies about stealing the Supersonics from Seattle, and probably covets Oregon's wife in the process.

Everyone who knows him hates him, except for his execu-friends. Oklahoma becomes the awkward mistress of the adulterer.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
The Stab in the Back.


For knifing fans of the game by trying to become Spurs II.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
Zach Randolph- not only did he have the worst possession in NBA history, there was also his courtside water throwing fight with Nate Robinson. He also only averaged 0.2 blocks a game. most point guards had similar or better numbers.

Kobe Bryant- It ain't a worst of list without Kobe Bryant.His disappearance in the finals is enough to warrant him being on the list, plus he robbed Chris Paul for the MVP award.

Glen "Big Baby" Davis' body- He should never take his shirt off again.

Blogger Joe said...
how about the fact that the houston rockets won 22 straight games, and were the number 1 seed in a stacked western conference for a bit, and still no one believed they could do anything.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
Easy. The debacle of that homophobic, David Stern ass-kisser known as Clay Bennett and the NBA fucking over its fans in Seattle. If that doesn't get a Worstie, Basketball is dead to me. I'll take up watching competitive Hot Dog eating.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
"Player who most enjoys others eating from his gluteus maximus".... goes to Shaq... and we really don't want to know how it tastes

Blogger acnefighter said...
Zaza Shocks The World!
Perhaps the funniest and most unintentionally hilarious after-game speech that I have ever heard. Not even KG's "ANYTHING'S POSSIBLEEEEEEEEE" beats this original interview. I think KG stole Zaza's speech style and modified it.
"Nothing easy....nothing easy....we goin to game 7 baby. Game SEVENNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!"

Link: http://youtube.com/watch?v=2cQjjvFAf6Q


Paul Pierce Is A Blood, Yo


Nothing more than "Blood, Sweat & Tears" according to Danny Ainge, but to any person with a relevant knowledge of modern culture, that is a Bloods sign. Imagine if Kobe Bryant did that.

Blogger acnefighter said...
I can't belive I forgot this:

The Classic Isiah Thomas Knicks

I hate Isiah, and I hate Nate Robinson. I also hate the Knicks as a whole. So, seeing this unfold is awesome.

Link: http://youtube.com/watch?v=0bkPvYojRiQ

Brought to you by Karma (http://canadianballer.blogspot.com/), although I'm sure other people have/will mention it as well.

sun devil, kobe was required to play in the all star game cuz he played the last game before the all star game, he didnt want to play (so he said).

Anonymous Anonymous said...
Hey basketbawful, I don't have a story for you but I came across this picture of Kobe Bryant expressing his joy. Hopefully you find a good use for it.


Anonymous Anonymous said...
wow lots of great posts here already, cant wait for the final post.

Just a few more randomw worsties..

* Yi Jianlian - the 22, err, 19 year old chinese rookie needed to be convinced by his team's billionare owner, no less, to play for them. Also has handlers instead of agents, making him some kind of wild animal or something.

* REPLAY! Miami Heat vs Atlanta Hawks. first replay since 1982.. (i bet a third of the league werent even born yet) Shawn Marion gets to play 51.9 seconds of this game

* Dwayne Wade in the playstation skills challenge.. ego ectomy!!

* Dirk in the 3pt shootout. Dude was shooting 29% and they add HIM??

* Getting fired Dec 24 - Merry Christmas Scott Skiles!

Anonymous Anonymous said...
thanks for the great work basketbawful.
a couple of worsties suggestions :
- the Miami Heat. in a couple of years from now, we can safely say there probably is a curse on them, too
- George Karl's lack of responsibility in his team blatant failure
- the media's feathercock attitude resulting in Kobe Bryant's awful MVP coronation
- Jemele Hill's recurrent biased and undocument articles

Anonymous Anonymous said...
Andrew Bynum's knee and the craptastic Laker's medical staff.

He be back in a month..... two months... two weeks.... oh wait he won't be back until next year!

I would trust Microsoft's release dates more then the Laker's doctors.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
hey I forgot the Bulls in my list. cursed from the start on by Kobe, failing to make the playoffs in the Eastern conference (!)

Anonymous Anonymous said...
Mario West! You cannot leave Mario out of your Worst of the Season... mainly because he

1) had a semi-official basketball term dedicated to him (your infamous but genial Mario - less than a minute played in a game)

2) he collected 23 Marios himself (3 in the playoffs), with 12 SuperMarios (2 in the playoffs)... which means that 15% of his games were SM!

Even more astounding, the fact that in the three Hawks' games between December 15th and December 19th he played 53:30 (I know what you are thinking... they must have been blowouts! Nope, they were ALL close wins), thus earning there 20% of his total playing time.

To put that in perspective, it would have been like Kobe Bryant playing 630 minutes in a three game span.

Blogger Wild Yams said...
Sun Devil - Kobe selected as cheerleader for the 2008 NBA all star game

Kobe Bryant listed to the fans and played a whole 3 minutes of the 2008 all star game instead of graciously backing out. Somewhere, Stephen Jackson and Baron Davis were choking someone.

How bout nominating Sun Devil for getting his facts so wrong? Per league rules if a player is selected as a starter to the All-Star game he must play in it or be forced by the league to miss five games afterwards. Kobe and the Lakers actually asked the league to let him skip the game, but the league refused. Sorry to be the one to let the facts get in the way of your hate :)

Blogger Wild Yams said...
In reading through the comments from last year's Worsties, I noticed someone mentioned Smush Parker, and while he maybe should have been mentioned last year, he definitely should this year.

Smush's Parking Disaster - After self-combusting last year on the Lakers (prompting Phil Jackson to remove him from the starting lineup 80 games into the season), he was given a new shot at an NBA career in Miami this season... until he physically attacked a female valet over a disputed $12 parking fee. This essentially ended his season with the Heat (the league's worst team), and after a couple month hiatus from playing he was eventually sent to NBA Hell for what probably marks the end of his career.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
Worst trade of the year
"Hey lets get Jason Kidd a proven HoF PG who has been to the finals twice, but we have to trade our long time starter and our bench and a draft pick and our team chemistry! Just in time for the playoffs! This should turn out well..."

Worst use of the D-League
Miami basically having open tryouts during games. It seemed like I could've jumped in the car driven a few hours to the arena and been given a jersey and starting SG duties.

Worst local TV broadcast
How about the fact that the Magic basically had no local broadcast for much of the season. Honorable mention: 2 words Tommy points

Best Worst action sequence:
Anything a Pacers player did. Whether it was Stephen Jackson shooting and getting hit by a car or Tinsley having car chases or he and Marquis Daniels acting a fool at the strip club, my favorite team was action packed all year.

Blogger Wild Yams said...
Anonymous - Kobe Bryant- It ain't a worst of list without Kobe Bryant.His disappearance in the finals is enough to warrant him being on the list, plus he robbed Chris Paul for the MVP award.

I'm probably gonna be labeled as a Kobe apologist for taking issue with this, but it's as untrue as what Sun Devil said above. Kobe "disappeared" in the Finals? He had 25.7 ppg, 4.7 rpg & 5.0 apg in the Finals, as well as 2.7 steals per game. His shooting percentage was bad at 40.5%, but the Celtics had by far the league's best defense (LeBron only shot 35% against Boston). Compare Kobe's stats to the Finals MVP, Paul Pierce: 21.8 ppg, 4.5 rpg, 6.3 apg with 1.2 steals per game. Pierce shot better than Kobe at 43.2%, but wasn't exactly lights out himself. All in all you could legitimately say Kobe's stats were comparable to the guy who won the Finals MVP award, so I daresay he didn't "disappear".

As for Kobe "robbing" Chris Paul of the MVP award, if anyone robbed Paul it was the sportswriters who voted, not Kobe; but considering Kobe led his team to the Finals (over the very team that beat Chris Paul's team in the 2nd round), and came two wins from winning the title, it's tough to say the sportswriters definitively picked the wrong guy this year. Kobe had a great year and led his team to a better record than the Hornets did. Should the fact that the Hornets' turnaround from last season was two wins better than the Lakers' turnaround from last season mean it was "robbery" that Kobe won the MVP?

I'm really not a Kobe apologist, but it does bother me that some people so dislike the man that they ignore reality in their quest to run him down. If one of those OMG KOBE RULZ! idiots was in here saying how he's the best ever, I'd give them the same treatment. Kobe and the Lakers had a great year - if Kobe deserves to be included in the Worsties it's for the same reason he was in there last year: for his offseason rants about wanting to be traded, not for anything he did on the court this year.

You said, "It ain't a worst of list without Kobe Bryant", but if you don't manufacture reasons for him to be included here (like you did with the Finals reference or Sun Devil did with the All Star thing) what did he really do this season to be included?

Blogger Basketbawful said...
Yams -- Not to contradict you, but all you're doing is throwing numbers at the what Anonymous said. And if numbers were the only thing taken into account, Kobe wouldn't have even been in the top five in MVP voting...since he was 8th overall in PER (which is the bogus stat people use to prove a player's worth these days).

Numbers in and of themselves are meaningless without context. Kobe's overall numbers were indeed good and compared favorably to Pierce's. But the reality is, Kobe did disappear for crucial stretches of the Finals. He was nowhere to be found during the first half of Game 2. He was powerless to protect a 24-point Laker lead in Game 4 (he scored only 17 points on 6-for-19 shooting). And he shot a combined 15-for-43 (with 10 turnovers to only 5 assists) over the final two games, including an inconsequential 7-for-22 in an embarrassing 39-point blowout.

Fact is, Kobe played 1.5 great games: The second half of Game 2 (he finished with 30 points on 11-for-23) and Game 3 (36 points, 12-for-20). He shot in the 30s four out of six games. He had more turnovers than assists in three of the six games. He kept the Celtics close in Game 3 by missing seven freethrows. He hit only 9-for-28 from beyond the arc (and most of those makes came in the first quarters of Games 5 and 6).

So while those two (or 1.5) games certainly helped his series averages...but the fact is, he did disappear for long stretches of the Finals. Particularly considering he came in as the MVP and is widely touted as the "best player on the planet," and the most unstoppable scorer in the league.

Blogger acnefighter said...
While Kobe didn't have the best Finals ever (I was watching, he was completely shut down by Boston), I think it's laughable to say that he didn't deserve the MVP award. The Lakers weren't expected to make the post season, and what I find hilarious is people that say that the Lakers only became #1 in the West due to Gasol. The Lakers were actually the first seed even when Gasol wasn't on the team; the trade just made them stronger.

Furthermore, the Lakers finished with a better overall record than the Hornets, and the playoffs furthermore demonstrated that Kobe did indeed deserve the trophy, because this was in essence, HIS year. I know the Lakers lost in the finals, but people are quick to forget how ridiculously dominant and effective he was in the Western Conference playoffs. Where were all you guys then? Now that his team lost in the Finals, all of a sudden all this "he didn't deserve MVP" talk is back on again?

Furthermore, Paul had a phenomenal season yes, but saying that Kobe didn't deserve the MVP at all simply shows bias and nothing more. His team was the best team in his conference, Kobe had astounding numbers and was a dominant force throughout the season, and once again, the Lakers were WINNING. Not to mention the fact that he played most of the 2nd half of the season with a broken pinky, and the fact that the Lakers were forecasted to NOT BE IN THE PLAYOFFS. How did he not deserve it?

Blogger Wild Yams said...
Mr. Bawful, lots of players "disappeared in stretches" in the Finals. MVP Pierce had only 6 points in Game 3, for instance. Kevin Garnett scored 13 points in Games 3 and 5. There wasn't one player in the Finals who was dominant every game or for every quarter. I'm not saying Kobe played great or anything like that, but he definitely didn't "disappear". The Celtics' defense focused everything on him and it worked. Credit Boston's defense, but don't say Kobe was a no-show. The guy was the leading scorer in the series, after all.

The problem with most people who hate on Kobe is that they really do have a "he's wrong no matter what" approach to him. If Kobe had gone off for 40+ points every game against that defense, he probably would have had to shoot it 30+ times a game, and that wouldn't have secured a Laker title any more than playing the way he did would. We've discussed this before: Kobe does need to figure out how to better balance when to facilitate and when to take over, but let's be real - Kobe did have the Lakers in position to win 5 of the games in the Finals and they even won two of them. And considering the Celtics had, IMO, the far better team, that's not too shabby. In a seven game series the better team almost always wins, and that's what happened here. It was Boston's triumph more than it was Kobe's failure. You can look at how LeBron James fared against Boston to see that the one incredible scorer wasn't going to be enough to beat the Celtics this year.

Mr. Bawful, you're a smart guy: does Kobe really deserve a Worstie for how he played this year? Funny how the people who hate him the most seem to expect the most from him.

Blogger Alex said...
Tim Duncan Trips On Own Leg; Foul On Shaq

I couldn't find a video of this, but it was both hilarious and sad, as endemic of what officiating in this league has become. It's one play, sure, but definitely one of the worst of the year.

Blogger AnacondaHL said...
The Phoenix Suns trade machine: With the best record in the Western Conference, the Suns become a statistic in the tsunami of 2007-08 panic trades, getting The Big No-Longer-Sherrif-in-Maricopa-County Shaq for Marcus Banks's bloated contract and an inexplicably disgruntled Shawn Marion. Result: limping into the playoffs as a 6th seed and a quick first round exit.

(lol @ jaz's version of this post)

Robert Horry 2.0: With his Game 6 thuggery so reminiscent of something from a year ago, it's like he's not even ashamed anymore to even try and hide it.

National media coverage wondering what Shaq's ass tastes like: Do I even need to link the YouTube?


Blogger Basketbawful said...
Yams -- This isn't about Pierce or KG...it's only about Kobe. I wouldn't excuse Hulk Hogan for losing to the Ultimate Warrior just because Randy Savage lost to the Honky Tonk Man and Mr. T defeated Brutus Beefcake. You know?

Uh, anyway.

I disagreed with your earlier response to Anonymous because you tossed out Kobe's series averages as proof, but those averages can be deceiving because they don't measure impact. When did those points/rebounds/assists happen? How did they affect the games? Etc. That's how Red Auerbach looked at things, and that's how I look at things.

My point was this: Kobe is the MVP and considered the "greatest player on the planet" by many, but Boston flat out stopped him. To me, scoring average is inconsequential compared to what I saw happening with my own eyes. Kobe got stopped, and stopped cold, by a great defense. And he couldn't figure out when to facilitate and when to dominate. He seemed confused, frustrated. He cursed out his teammates. So on and so forth.

I wasn't saying I was going to give Kobe a Worstie for it, but it doesn't make it any less true. He put his stamp on one game out of six (he lit it up in the second half of Game 2 only after Boston built a huge lead and basically stopped playing) and his team suffered the worst game-clenching ass-pounding of any team in league history. And that's not me being anti-Kobe...I would be saying the same thing about any other MVP who got humbled that way (for further reading, see my collected words on Nowitzki, D.).

Anonymous Anonymous said...
The Sonics on 3-16 losing to Denver 168-116. One should never let a team get all 2k8 on them and let them score 168 freaking points.

Then a special double worstie to the Denver Nuggets for losing 151-147 to Seattle month later.

Lamar Odom for discovering that he in fact has gonads only after being down 30 points in game 6 of the finals. Oh and Pau Gasol for being a huge mangina the whole series.

Any Spurs player for acting like they were shot everytime someone walked past them.

Bruce Bowen- a special place in hell for just being dirty. This just in: Bowen was caught sweeping the legs of an infant just learning to walk and then kneeing it's mother in the crotch.

Blogger Raptor said...
How about a worstie for Pat "I show up to work when I want to" Riley.


Spoelstra better watch his back if the Heat ever look like they are contenders.

Blogger Wild Yams said...
Mr. Bawful, those who don't consider Kobe the "greatest player on the planet" probably consider LeBron to be that guy, and he too was stopped cold by Boston's defense. Isn't it just possible that taken together this really says more about how great Boston's defense was than how Kobe "disappeared" in the Finals?

Like I said above, I thought that Boston was the better team, and I thought that before the playoffs started the Boston would win. People got too high on the Lakers because of their run to the Finals (and Boston's relative stumble there), but in the end Boston was the better team, even though LA did have Kobe. Given that, in Games 1-5 the Lakers were either ahead or within 5 points with less than 5 minutes to play in every game, and any time you do that you put yourself in a position to win. If Kobe really did disappear at all in any area of the Finals it was in the area you least expect him to: in the clutch. Once again though you have to credit the Boston defense for the job they did there. You can say the numbers don't matter, or that you as a Celtics fan didn't see Kobe doing enough out there in the series, but the reality is that he did have his team in a position to win each of the first five games, even though they only delivered twice.

Kobe did not disappear in the Finals. He did not dominate and he did not excel, but he didn't disappear either. As I said, the people who hate him the most are the ones who expect the most from him. In the eyes of many, if Kobe does not deliver a championship then he has failed or "disappeared", and that's probably a reaction to all the hype created by other people about how he's the best in the world or he's as good as Jordan or whatever; but it's everyone else who has said that about him and who have set the bar that high. Kobe himself may have the bar set that high for himself, but he's never asked that people think of him that way. That even his most ardent detractors do have such lofty expectations for him I think is somewhat telling in what they really think of his abilities, even if they only use that backdrop to paint him as someone who fails to live up to what they expect of him.

You say "this isn't about Pierce or KG" but the whole point of this thread is to discuss the worst of what happened this year, so it is as much about them as it is about Kobe or anyone else who was involved with the NBA this year. Pierce and KG were just as inconsistent as Kobe was, as was Lamar Odom, Pau Gasol, Rajon Rondo, etc. Not one player was consistently good in the Finals, not one. But history is written by the winners, and as such the haters are running wild with Kobe's latest "failure". Maybe next year the Lakers will win and then the insane OMG KOBE people will run wild with how he's suddenly better than Jordan. I find both equally silly. Every great player has successes and failures, just as Kobe has. Even Jordan was shut down by superior teams before he broke through and won; Magic and Bird both were bested by better teams as well, as was Kareem, and even as was Bill Russell. Nobody's perfect, especially not Kobe, but this doesn't make him the worst that basketball has to offer anymore than winning a title would make him the greatest ever.

Blogger Dunpizzle said...
Don't forget Zach Randolph going Hot Sauce on us:

Anonymous Anonymous said...
I was the anonymous that led to the little Kobe debate, so let me clarify my position.Kobe had decent stats in the finals, but he did disappear for most of the series, especially when the lakers needed him most. Granted, the lakers other two "stars" (Gasol, Odom) were pretty much non-existent, but the Lakers were in positions where an "MVP" would will his team to victory.

However Yams, you are correct to call me out on the MVP award thing. I should have put the media (especially espn) on my list for their season-long circle jerk over Kobe Bryant. They made me realize I probably wouldn't dislike Kobe as much if they weren't constantly trying to anoint him as the next Jordan.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
My short list (hopefully all new items):

The Eastern Conference (for X years running, where X=anything I can remember after college).

David Stern's press conferences

That awful Mavs coach. Boy, he sure looks familiar...

Mark Jackson and Jeff Van Gouly docking pee-pees in ecstatic verbal sodomization.

The media for trying to promote vendettas and stories at every turn (Shaq & Kobe most notably).

The year of the crotch grab. Ugh.

WNBAs 10th anniversary.

Bill Simmons. Just because he's a true rectal clown.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
Baron Davis agreed to become a Clipper. I wonder how this is gonna horribly wrong. I predict Brand still leaves and Baron gets injured... just hopefully not as badly as Shaun Livingston.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
You definitely need an award for "worst use of a music videos to develop street cred". Last year an obvious choice would have been Tony Parker and Timmy Duncan. This year, nobody can even touch the Maloof Brothers. Like a loliloli popppp....

Blogger acnefighter said...
lol, I think you need a seperate posts just for the trainwreck that is the Knicks organization.

The Zach Randolf airball is hilarious. I remember watching that game and thinking wtf is he trying to do? Then came the great Nate Robinson/Randolh water fight for the ages, followed by the Marbury debacle. It must feel great to be a Knicks fan right about now.

Sadly, I find the Knicks trainwreck hilarious, simply because I hate almost EVERY player on that team except David Lee obviously.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
its gotta be Z-bo and his AND1 mixtape moves. That is by far the funniest and worst thing i have ever seen all at the same time.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
The "there can only be one and he's not it" category: Kobe Bryant
for following in the footsteps of Harold Miner, Grant Hill, Vince Carter and whoever else you wanna name and proving that he is NOT the next MJ.

The "I finally get to use those lyrics I wrote a couple of years ago" category: Shaq
no explanation needed

The "I got the 1st pick and I'll have him play 10 minutes a game cause I Kirk is so much better" category: John Paxson
for already telling the media that Rose "will be brought along slowly" which means he'll have to learn the game while watching from the bench. brilliant. NOT !

The "A coach ! A coach ! My .... pocket spare change for a coach !? But not all of it, cause I need to buy a coffee and a sandwich and ... " category: Jerry Cheapsdorf ... ummm, I mean Reinsdorf
no explanation needed

The "Ain't Karma a biatch ?" category: Karma
for not letting Kobe win a title after he blasted his team mates, GM and owner last summer

The "Falling off the face of the Earth" category: Stephon Marbury
for, well, falling off the face of the Earth

The "It's like deja vu all over again" category: The Phoenix Suns
for losing to the Spurs in the playoffs yet again.

The "I can't feel my face (or find my brain)" category: DeShawn Stevenson
for sticking his dick in the giant hornets' nest.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
Just took a look at the 06-07 Worsties and after just a few paragraphs I had to stop and ask: How about that Celtics' Curse ? Any news on it ? Is it still ongoing, or what ?

Anonymous Anonymous said...
I want to third or fourth the Zach Randolph mixtape. It's the epitome of Worst of the Night. This youtube video is a on similar note, except it's Corey Brewer offering up the suck.


Anonymous Anonymous said...
Worsties for the 2007-2008 Season
1. Hugo the Hornet Jumps the Shark - Hugo caused a 19 minute delay during the Hornets / Spurs second round playoff series when his jump through the flaming ring of fire but went awry. After the incident, players were slipping and sliding all over the floor. The only way this would have been any worse (read: better) was if one of the Spurs (read: Robert Horry) had gotten injured during the "performance." You know you have loyal fans when your mascot starts "accidentally" hurting opposing teams' players.

2. The Pau Gasol "Trade" - Enough said.

3. Chris Mihm in the Finals - The Zen Master had the infinite wisdom to play Chris Mihm during the NBA Finals. Shockingly, it wasn't even during garbage time. It was during actual, competitive game time. This was Mihm's first playoff appearance of the entire postseason. And how did Jack from Lost (it is an uncanny resemblance, no?) respond during his 2:46 minutes of glorious PT? 0-1 FG, 1 TO (which was an awesome inbound pass to Ray Allen I believe), 2 PF's. Not even the decency give the Lakers a Super Mario.

4. T-Mac One and Done.... Again - God damnit I feel sorry for this guy. But fuck, what happens to this guy during the final quarter of games? If Yao had been around, he probably had a good shot of making it out of the first round. T-Mac's first round exits kind of remind me of George W. Bush. It's just not funny anymore; a little sad really.

5. No Suspensions during Hawks-Celtics - David Stern, that MOTHERFUCKER, decided not to enforce suspensions when multiple players got off the bench and stepped onto the court during scuffles/intense sessions of man-love during the Hawks-Celtics series. Including...

6. That one time Zaza Pachulia thought he was hardcore - I still to this day cannot believe he got in KG's face. Garnett is one bad dude. No, KG is a futuristic robot sent back in time to wreck Soviet-commie-pinkos... Scratch that, he is a basketball-playing dinosaur sent forward in time to intimidate and feed Ruskies Spalding sammies. Whatever the case, he is one crazy motherfucker. Dudes named Zaza, by definition, are not -- no matter how big they are.

7. Duncan icing a trey in Game 1 against the Suns - Suns fan across the world collectively shat in their pants' when that shot went in, forcing overtime of Game 1 of the first round of the playoffs. It was the beginning of a now familiar pattern of mental and physical domination by the Spurs. The audacity of that shot. Say what you will about Pop, but that ugly bitch has balls. Of pure, American made steel.

8. Shot clock error in Atlanta - Just a classic moment in the history of the NBA. Atlanta's first home playoff game in god knows how long and their shot clocks malfunction. All I know is some dude, whoever was responsible for that, was literally shitting his pants knowing about his impending trip to the unemployment office.

9. Being a Miami Heat fan - Ridiculous. Would have been better off to be an Idaho Stampede fan or a Phoenix Mercury fan.

10. Deshawn Stevenson - Lebron James "Rivalry" - Rivalry is a term reserved for peers, or relative equals. That is why this term does not really apply to this case. 'Shawn went on with his "can't see my face" jazz hands move and called down the thunder of King Zeus. The only thing he did was ensure that the Bullets received a third trip home courtesy of the King and his jesters.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
Plonden's #8 and #1 remind me of some other stadium screw-ups this year. The one with chauncey billups being awarded a 3 that shouldn't have counted, and they couldn't review it because the clock wasn't at 00.0. The TJ Ford shot that should have counted except the clock operator started it too soon. The replay because of Shaq's "6th" foul (which he didn't play in) The Christmas (i think) Lakers game which was delayed becaused workers left their rain-soaked clothes on the catwalks.

Also, looking through last years worsties, when you mentioned Dwayne Wade's injury you neglected to mention that he needed a wheelchair... for a shoulder inury.

Blogger Blogueros said...


Strong Defense????WTF?????

By Maggots

Anonymous Anonymous said...
Post-trade Wally Szczerbiak.