Basketbawful

Sunday, December 17, 2006

In case you've been in the mall all weekend looking for that perfect gift for your favorite sports blog, the Knicks-Nuggets game turned into a Ron Artest-esqe brawl after a hard breakaway foul on JR Smith. Sure, that Mardy guy (who now has more ejections than blocks on the year) thugged the hell out of JR, but things were calming down until Nate Robinson pulled aggro Leroy Jenkins-style. Christ.

Nate Robinson has his own blog on MSNBC, an amazingly lame fan page and 6,822 friends on Myspace (approximately 6,000 more than Screech). He's created a ridiculous amount of buzz for himself, a feat for a diminutive backup shooting guard on the most unwatchable team in the league. But, to us, it makes perfect sense. With his insane hops and bone-headed decision making, Nate Robinson thinks he is a real-life video game character...this isn't always a good thing.

Nate Robinson wins 2006 Slam-Dunk Contest: Once you get over the giddyness from seeing a guy the size of Spud Webb in fact dunking on Spud Webb, you realize that Nate Robinson went into "Options" and put the Slam-Dunk Contest on "Practice Mode", shamelessly taking 13 mulligans on his final dunk and robbed Andre Iguodala of the win. All the guys from 1984-2005 who were forced into a simple dunk on their second attempt to avoid disqualification collectively threw up in their mouths. I know you're out there Tim Perry.

Nate Robinson smothers Yao's chicken: Nate Robinson squashes Yao's move to the hoop. Impressive? Yes. Totally feasible in NBA Live? Totally. Anyone who's played the Live series has come to terms with the fact that, in the computer's hands, the Dan Dickaus and Earl Boykins of the world will reject your shit with ruthless aggression. In Live 2004 I had Wally Szczerbiak averaging 8 atom smashers a game. He had me jumpin' outta my seat, but I never could get Wally to finger wag...

Nate Robinson's ego-ectomy: On a breakaway dunk attempt against the Cavs, Nate Robinson went NBA Street on us, and threw a bounce alley-oop to himself and went to throw it down, only to fail miserably. As an NBA Street-ologist, Nate went for the classic 4-turbo button "Dinner's Served", which would've gave the Knicks a good dose of trick points. Nate was thinking ahead; If the dunk landed a Gamebreaker for his squad, the -2 points laid on the Cavs would've put the Knicks lead out of reach, forcing coach Mike Brown to substitute Drew Gooden and Damon Jones with Stretch and Biggie Little.

Or maybe I'm the one that plays too much Xbox...

4 Comments:

Anonymous said...

With this kind of attitude and size, let's see how long he can last in this league.

12/18/2006 3:07 PM

Anonymous said...

I love the blog that you have. I was wondering if you would link my blog to yours and in return I would do the same for your blog. If you want to, my site name is American Legends and the URL is:

www.americanlegends.blogspot.com

If you want to do this just go to my blog and in one of the comments just write your blog name and the URL and I will add it to my site.

Thanks,
David

12/19/2006 1:35 AM

Anonymous said...

HAHA. Seriously, if you're gonna be a lame ass and bounce the ball off the court and the backboard...get realistic about your abilities because you're gonna be a highlight reel...and not of the good kind.

12/19/2006 4:48 PM

Anonymous said...

That is a friggin' great blog entry mate.
I wish Nate and TARDIS could end up together on the same team.
The shortest most amazing back court ever

12/20/2006 9:11 AM