Basketbawful

Tuesday, August 29, 2006

Triple Threat Position (trip'-uhl thret puh-zish'-uhn) noun. An active stance from which an offensive player can either pass, shoot, or dribble the basketball.

Usage example: Guys like Lebron James and Dwayne Wade kill their opponents with the Triple Threat Position.

Word Instruction: Keep in mind that the Triple Threat Position is only effective when utilized by multi-faceted players. Unless you're an efficient passer/shooter/ball-handler, the position will only make you look like an idiot (can you imagine Greg Ostertag using it?). Legends like Jerry West, Oscar Robertson, John Havlicek, Larry Bird, Magic Johnson, and Michael Jordan specialized in using the Triple Threat Position, and current stars like Lebron, Wade, Dirk Nowitzki, and Steve Nash are using it with great effect today. The tutorial site eHow.com provides the following action-packed description for getting into the TTP:

1. Stand with your feet shoulder-width apart.

2. Stagger your feet slightly, so that your left foot points into the arch of your right foot.

3. Bend your knees and crouch slightly.

4. Grasp the ball with your left hand on the side of the ball and your right hand on top.

5. Bend both elbows so they're approximately at right angles.

6. Survey the court at all times.

7. Decide what the most appropriate maneuver for your current situation is.

Special Warning For Incredible Weaklings: The eHow tutorial also states that "If you have any condition that would impair or limit your ability to engage in physical activity, please consult a physician before attempting this activity." Here's some better advice. If you're too feeble to stand in place while holding a basketball, you'd better choose a new sport, like "Beginning Chair Sitting" or "Advanced Drooling On Yourself."

Word Trivia: I have an old Celtics/Cavaliers playoff game on tape, and provides videographic evidence of Robert Parish using the Triple Threat Position against Brad Daugherty. This is amazing for a few reasons. First, Parish was not an outside threat (although he consistently shot 50+ percent from inside 12 feet). Secondly, Parish was one of the least graceful players in the league. Seriously, he was like one of those old Star Wars action figures that didn't bend at the knees or elbows. But despite all this, Parish broke Daugherty down from 18 feet away from the hoop, beating Brad off the dribble before executing a drop-step that turned into a fadeaway jump shot. What made this sequence even better is teh fact that Parish actually lost the ball on the way up, and yet somehow managed to knock it into the basket with his elbow. This was probably the ugliest use of the TTP ever.

Feel free to practice with a friend, but the positionactually works better if only one of you is on offense.

1 Comments:

Unknown said...

doesn't kobe happen to be one of the current leading practitioners of the uh TTP as well? it's understandable that you dislike him as a celtics fan, but you gotta give the man his due. thanks!

6/05/2009 12:27 PM