L.A. Times blogger and KTLA producer Ted Green recently published a blog post called Your Guide to Hating The Celtics. It reads like it was written by a drugged six-year-old who was aimlessly bashing a keyboard with his elbows, but that's not the problem. The problem was that this was one of Green's entries:

Pierce's idea of a fun night is going clubbing and getting stabbed. Good times!
This was of course a clumsy reference to the incident in which Pierce "was stabbed 11 times in the face, neck, and back and had a bottle smashed over his head" and "had to undergo lung surgery to repair the damage."

Paul Pierce was almost murdered?! Bwahahahahaha...wait, what?! What kind of supreme asshole thinks that's a punchline? Ted Green, apparently. One assumes he wrote that hilarous little joke while supervising a multiple pony execution at his factory that grinds babies and old people into paste.

Naturally, the L.A. times retracted the stabbing line from Green's post, but as Matthew Fleisher of Media Bistro points out: "...the line is still there on a KTLA cross-post of the piece. KTLA, remember, is where Green has his day job."

What a truly wonderful human being Green is.

But wait, there's more. Green issued the following totally half-assed apology -- if you can even call it that -- on Boston radio station WEEI's Planet Mikey Show:

That one was something I probably should apologize for. That one was not only too close to the line, but maybe over. The truth is I think Paul Pierce is a very, very good player. A Hall of Fame caliber player. I probably shouldn't have gone to the stabbing card.
Probably should apologize for...maybe over the line...probably shouldn't have gone to the stabbing card. Well, then. At least he learned his lesson.

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Blogger Mr. Shrimp said...
The LA Times and, I guess, KTLA, really, really suck when it comes to Lakers coverage. I'm a Lakers fan way outside of LA and I never look at them. This just takes the cake. What a complete asshole.

Blogger Ash said...
That was stupid.

However, Paul Pierce getting stabbed IS funny. See: Chappelle's Show.

"In the 'Shoutout Your Favorite Athlete' Skit, the guy getting stabbed shouts out Paul Pierce."

Blogger 80's NBA said...
Yeah, Lakers' ideas of fun nights are much better...

Like go out and cheat on your wife, then try to buy back her love with a big diamond ring. Fun times!

Or...go out and bang as many whore's as possible and contract a deadly disease! Nice.

Or...go out joy riding in a stolen car. Word!

Blogger @huynhjeff said...
Some days I wonder why people hate us Lakers fans so much. This is not one of those days.

Granted, I don't like the Celtics much myself, much less Paul Pierce, but I wouldn't laugh at his near death. On a side note, the mental side by side comparison of that stabbing incident with his wheelchair flopping action a couple of years ago really irks me. The man obviously can roll with some serious punches, but really divas it up sometimes..

Anonymous Heretic said...
@ 80s NBA

Yep all that and they still win championships. That's how we roll.

@ Ash

Also the guy smoking weed yelled out "Rasheed Wallace"

I'm more offended that the article just was not funny.

Anonymous Sorbo said...
Yeah, no self-respecting Laker goes to KTLA for coverage; they go to KCal-9, which has been giving Worthy employment for the last decade.

They need to stop giving these retards their own blogs, unless you're a funny retard...like Corky. (too far? Maybe I should apologize. Corky was a great actor...)

Blogger AnacondaHL said...
This article wasn't so bad, if you consider his target audience was people who think the Lakers are made of "Kobe and that guy Kim Kardashian is married to".

Anonymous Heretic said...
on a side note:

Hollinger predicts Lakers will win and Adande predicts the Celtics will win, what the hell just happened?

Anonymous Barry said...
The whole blog is an insult to the intelligence of every Laker fan. Not to mention Paul Pierce.

Blogger Ash said...
Yeah, and don't get me wrong. I hate Paul Pierce with a passion. Guy falls down on every damn play.

But shit, when he was stabbed, that guy came back and was shooting better than ever. Props.

Anonymous Shrugz said...
I got stabbed before
and yea no joking matter
Dude should PROBABLY get fired for making that a "maybe" joke

Blogger Dooj said...

Kloe Kardashian

Blogger AnacondaHL said...
Dooj - I'm almost proud of myself for getting that wrong and not being able to care even less.

Blogger Fishy said...
Never even heard of the guy and I live and keep up with LA sports. It's one thing to tell a dumb or offensive joke to your friends but to print that is just pathetic.

Besides I don't know anyone who hates Paul Pierce for having survived an attack like that. Most people hate (strong word, but I'll use it) him for getting stabbed that many times (and just overall beat up) but getting back up to still be a fabulous basketball player he has been and still is, only to act soft when the playoffs come around so it makes him look more like a hero.

Anonymous UpA said...
The whole piece was unreadable, what a shame for all us Lakers Fans, this is really an insult.

"as a public service to Lakers' fans the world over" I say to Green, Fuck off, thanks for the service moron.

Anonymous Heretic said...
Bah Lakers vs Celtics, who cares? Its all about Lebron baby:


Blogger Jason D said...
I don't like the Celtics as much as the next Lakers fan but this is one of the worst ways possible to express that. To make a joke about someone in relation to something so brutal is just wrong. Like Heretic said, one of the worst things is that it just wasn't funny. Chappelle was able to do it because it was funny and people knew it was a joke. This just seems like more of a personal attack. Asshole.

Blogger Silva said...

found it funny

Anonymous MP said...
Although the article seems to have been written by a brain damaged 12-year-old with seemingly no understanding of the absurdity of the title (Laker Fans do not, as a rule, need a guide to celtic-hating), it does bring up a question:

What is just "Bad Taste", and what is "Off Limits"?

The reactions to the article would indicate that all seem to think it is in the latter category, and that not only should the author apologize, but he should be removed from his current job and refused employment anywhere else.

Now, he'll probably get shit-canned because his heretofore unseen "articles" have now been exposed to his superiors who are now thinking "Did we hire a journalist to write copy for us, or did a syphilitic chimpanzee with little understanding of pacing or subtext and with only a rudimentary vocabulary wander into the news room last night and accidentally write (and post)a column to our website?".

Why do we care?

Is it because the stabbing happened to Pierce, rather than something of his own doing?
Is it because Pierce seems to be a likable guy? He plays for a team you root for?

Anonymous Anonymous said...
i love how bawful and other celtics homers are so quick to dish out the lakers hate but can't handle even the slightest anti-celtic smack talk from lakers fans. on another note, this is nothing compared to the beating half-truth is gonna take from my boy ron artest.

Blogger @huynhjeff said...
I, myself, feel that there's a disparity between how the Lakers and its fans are treated here compared to how the Celtics (and most other teams) and their fans are treated..

BUT.. bringing up an incident in which an act of violence was inflicted someone as a way to dish out some smack talk is out of bounds.

But man, I can't wait for what Phil Jackson and the Lakers have in store for the Celtics. I assure you it's not going to be a repeat of two years ago.

Anonymous Karc said...
I'd rather see the Boston Cryptics win the title than LA No-Lakes.

Anonymous kazam92 said...
It was poorly written and that joke took it way too far but you know what

I fucking hate Paul Pierce all the same. Great player and hall of famer but he DOES flop like he's been hit by a bus when no one touches him. God dammit his whole style of play irks me. He steps back like an old women yet no one can block him. To hell with KG too.

Anonymous Barry said...
Anonymous: That's just silly.

And yeah, Lakers always get a different treatment it seems. But don't they feed off that hate, like any rabid fan-base of a popular team would? The perception is Hollywood, celebrities, shining lights etc and that somehow irks people (I must say that as a Celtics fan I sometimes find myself carried away with these sentiments too). It's just so natural, but it's in good jest.

I should say something like "Celtics in 6!" now shouldn't I? Lakers or Celtics in 7.

Anonymous bloo said...
Dumb joke, big deal. For me, the thing I hate about Pierce is how ungainly his game is. Sure, he's effective as hell, but his style of play is awkward-looking and ungraceful. Much like Ron Artest, though their games are vastly different. I cringe watching both of them play.

Blogger @huynhjeff said...

This article kind of reminds me of the "irk" celebrities from LA give other fans.


No way as insulting as the Ted Green article, but it seems weird that they bounce back and forth from calling hardcore fans (i.e. Jack Nicholson) annoying to mocking other celebs for not being true fans. I'm sure in most people's experience, a lot of "true fans" are really annoying to opposing teams. But at least this article is in good jest (and dare I say, I agree with some of it... unfortunately.)