As a follow up to yesterday's Ron Artest video blog post, here's a stinging mouthful of Ron-Ron's latest song and video: "In Da Hood." But beware: If you find horrible and poorly performed rap music particularly grueling, you should skip this.

(But not really. It is, as always, completely and unintentionally hilarious, especially when Ron is cluelessly tapping away at the buttons on his mix machine, which itself looks like something off the original Starship Enterprise. A kitten walking across a computer keyboard would have a better idea of what its doing. Thanks to Dunpizzle for the link.)

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Ah, that crazy Shaq. On Sunday night, the Big Geritol shoveled a huge scoop of dirt on the Lakers' playoff grave by taking a few not-even-remotely subtle shots at his favorite dart board: Kobe Bryant.

Shaq was freestyle rapping at a New York city club when he dropped some classic Hack-A-Mamba lines, including "Kobe couldn't do without me," "I'm a horse, Kobe ratted me out, that's why I'm getting divorced," and the soon-to-be-really-famous "Kobe...tell me how my ass tastes" And for your viewing pleasure, here's the video (originally posted on the TMZ Web site):


Typically, Shaq is already downplaying the whole thing. As he told ESPN's Stephen A. Smith: "I was freestyling. That's all. It was all done in fun. Nothing serious whatsoever. That is what MC's do. They freestyle when called upon. I'm totally cool with Kobe. No issue at all."

Uh huh.

Look, I might be a quarter-aged cracker with no idea what the freestyle rapping world is all about, but I do know that many a truth is said in jest. And Shaq has perfected the art of playfully -- but seriously -- criticizing any and everybody he feels hasn't shown him the proper respect. And regardless of their supposed reconciliation, Kobe will forever headline the Big Revenger's list of top offenders.

So was he clowning? Yes. But does he honestly believe what he said? Probably also yes. And it's unfortunate that he has to have his fun by bringing all this stuff back up.

Kobe, for his part, has thus far remained silent. And I figure he'll stay silent until the next time the Lakers play the Suns, at which time he'll probably light Phoenix up for 40+ and ask Shaq how his ass tastes.

Update! As super pointed out, in busting on Kareem Abdul-Jabbar during his freestylin', Shaq broke Ordinance 2257 of the Big Man Pecking Order Code: No big man under should talk about a big man above. Last time I checked, Kareem is the league's all-time leading scorer and has six MVPs and six titles. So, based on his own reasoning, Shaq should do to himself what he did to Greg Ostertag all those years ago.

Fun fact: The Shaq-Kobe feud has it's own Wikipedia page. Seriously.

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Prepare for the kind of awesome that might very well blow an appendage right off your body. This old Sprite commercial was submitted by Basketbawful reader Wild Yams, who said: "Speaking of awful commercials, I'd like to present my all-time favorite worst basketball commercial in which Kobe and Tim Duncan square off against each other with their posses for a rap-off, then Missy Elliot shows up to take over while Kobe and Tim play a game of one-on-one."

He is so not kidding. But I guess this is how you had to obey your thirst back in 1998.

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