"Oof. Something stinks in here... probably all of my turnovers"
Do yourself a favor and take a few minutes to read this interview with Bill Walton done by Trey Kirby over at The Basketball Jones. First off, reading anything to yourself in Bill Walton's voice makes your day 800% better. But beyond that, this is a good interview full of the usual Walton style and some good thoughts into the importance of controlling the paint in the NBA.

Also worth reading? This Deadspin piece. To quote the lede: "This is a story about the new NBA Jam for the Nintendo Wii. It is also a story about the 1990s, the NBA's waning cultural cachet, Bryant "Big Country" Reeves, Asian-Jewish relations, Roenick in NHL '94, nostalgia, and God." What more can you want than that? All it's missing is Greg Ostertag.

And a brief moment of analysis. (I'll keep it brief since I suck at analysis.) Marc Stein had an interesting tweet this afternoon: "Was TUE night in BOS bigger deal than we thought for Heat? Research says only three NBA teams in last 20 years won it all after 0-1 start." To be fair, this is a complicated situation. Considering the lack of preparation time the Heat had to get used to a completely new look, I don't think it was reasonable to expect them to come out looking amazing in their very first game. That being said, the kinds of teams that lose on opening night, regardless of talent level and preparation, might be fundamentally lacking something. It might be an obvious missing piece in offense or defense, but it might also be something like a lack of killer instinct. LeBron doesn't have the same desire to go out and just kill his opponent each and every night like some of the greats did. (Jordan would refuse to lose a game like that, for example.) How much of that will carry over into the postseason? I can't foresee it now. But that is something that will stick in the back of my mind.

Worst of the Night in Pictures:

Steven Tyler may not be experiencing love in elevator, but he is livin' it up while the Celtics are going down

Hey, that pose looks familiar...

Good God! Byron Scott is Spiderman! Well, that explains some things. Or nothing at all. Not sure which yet...

Based on Landry Fields' reaction, I think Demar DeRozan has a taser hidden in his hand

Anyone who want to scare Drew Gooden on Halloween now knows what his biggest fear apparently is: playing defense

Please forgive the Nets if their celebrations seem a little awkward -- they don't have much experience celebrating

Good. Use your aggressive feelings, Cleveland fans. Let the hate flow through you.

Nationally Televised Games:
Wizards at Magic, TNT, 8pm: The Magic have a new arena. On the other hand, the Wizards are missing Gilbert Arenas, one of their main weapons. (Damnit. I just can't help myself. The gun jokes write themselves.) In other news, holy crap John Wall is fun to watch. Trust me on this one.

Suns at Jazz, TNT, 10:30pm: Interesting game. These two teams have some similarities: both are higher-scoring offenses who no longer have their leading scorer from last year, and both teams struggled to put up points in their season openers. Oh, and they also share another similarity: I don't get to watch nearly enough of either of them because they're based out West and their games come on too damn late for me a lot of the time, and there's not enough time in the day to DVR their games and watch later on. Can someone please invent some sort of magic time machine soon plzkthx?

Labels: Bawful After Dark, gratuitous Gilbert Arenas gun joke, Orlando Magic, Phoenix Suns, Utah Jazz, Washington Wizards

Welcome to a quick-hitting BAD. Sorry, kind of pressed for time today. If you need to kill some time, go read this ridiculous story. You'll spend a good give minutes in the classic facepalm pose. Or you could go spend eighteen hours reading on Twitter about Conan O'Brien laying the smackdown on NBC. Everybody has a take on the situation it seems. Well, almost everybody. Surprisingly silent? Pimpbot 5000. I figured he'd already have a quality rhyme about turning out the head of NBC's momma, or keeping bitches in line.

Also, fun with Wikipedia editing alert! Take a look at this Wikipedia entry. Notice something that stands out here? Like, stands out 7 feet, 7 inches? (via SI.com's Jimmy Traina)

Worst of the Night in Pictures:


The positioning, the hand placement, the smile on Jeff Green's face, the far-off gaze from Kevin Durant... That's quality teammate-on-teammate man love

All The Games:
Pistons at Wizards Generals Bullets: These two teams combined have won fewer games than the Crabs or Lakers alone. Somebody shoot me before I watch this game. (No! Gilbert! I was just kidding! Put that away!)

Rockets at Bobcats: The Rockets have won seven straight over the Bobcats, but they're on a four game road losing streak, and the Bobcats have been red hot at home. Don't be surprised by a Charlotte victory.

Clippers at Grizzlies: The Clippers may be doing slightly better than I may have anticipated this year in general, but on the road they still are who we thought they were.

Lakers at Spurs: Just go read what NarSARSist had to say about the Spurs in today's WOTN comments. There's nothing more I can say.

Magic at Kings: The Magic finally came out of their shooting funk the other night and notched a W. The Kings continue to be in a funk. And not a good George Clinton and Parliament-Funkadelic kind of funk where they show up in random underrated-but-uneven Jeremy Piven movies.

Labels: Bawful After Dark, gratuitous Gilbert Arenas gun joke